Vanessa Grimaldi - Bachelor 21 - *Sleuthing Spoilers* #4

I'm baffled that there are so many doubters on 4th time 36 year old Nick's take on his journey to find love. If Nick wants it to work it will work I have no doubt about it. Nick has been pretty gushy in SM when it comes to Vanessa and vice versa Vanessa with Nick. I have no doubts imo that they are making this relationship work. That is all.JMO

@AllAboutLove IA if moving is an issue for any contestant, they shouldn't be hanging around till the end. Be there for exposure, then leave on your own IMHO.

Well, it would make more sense for Nick to move since he has an online business, while Vanessa actually has a real job and a family she's super close to. Either way, if they were serious about each other, one will make that sacrifice. I just don't think it's going to happen. Both are stubborn and selfish, IMO. I know Vanessa said she would, but easier said than done, IMO.

I want to add to my previous post that while I see Nick and Vanessa similar, there is a very "noticeable" difference IMO ... in Vanessa's virtuous stance (which I call self-righteous, when she sees things as fair/unfair, truth or not, acceptable or not - IMO) there's a self-preservation ... and as a woman I like that she is setting the standard and boundaries according to her values, maybe after learning experience, since from the recount when she was in love she dove in with full weight of her heart and needed to be "pulled out" by her family and also experiencing her parents' divorce ... while Nick IMO is excessive in breaking down (own) defenses and that leads him being occasionally destructive (sucker for punishment) that IMO needs the balance ... So IMO Vanessa's "warning glances" (being expressive and having different POV) can have an effect of "all lights on" (prepare the plane to land!) Nick's self-consciousness and vice versa, his magnetic pull lightens up her gravity towards idealism as a defense mechanism.

Lara wrote:Well, it would make more sense for Nick to move since he has an online business, while Vanessa actually has a real job and a family she's super close to. Either way, if they were serious about each other, one will make that sacrifice. I just don't think it's going to happen. Both are stubborn and selfish, IMO. I know Vanessa said she would, but easier said than done, IMO.

Stubborn perhaps but selfish? When has Nick and Vanessa done selfish things that we know of yet?

I think Vanessa cleared this up in an early interview I think she said, she is willing to move and it's not an issue.  It will not be as easy as any of the other F1s who has moved for their fiancee's as Sharleen said, possibly not as portable as a model, a graphic designer, a business owner.  But, like a lot of professions Vanessa is in one in which she will have to take additional certifications/exams if she moves (you know like doctors, nurses, therapists, lawyers unless there is a reciprocity between states).  Not easy but if there is a desire to make it work and if they value this "great love" they found, they will find a way to be together.

I'm just wondering why Vanessa has to make the move. I don't know Nick's entire job situation but does he have anything tying him down anywhere like Vanessa does? I think Vanessa will be willing to move, I just think it'll make her miserable IMO.

I get stubborn but please help me understand how she is selfish? she is a special education teacher

I totally respect your opinion just wondering if I missed something?

That is life. People move for the one they love. I did it. I moved entire continents. If Nick and Vanessa want to be together they will be together. Whether it is in Montreal, LA, NY, wherever. No one is right or wrong or selfish or not selfish for moving or not moving, IMO. It is life and logistics and two people figuring that stuff out together. For me, what Vanessa and Nick want to do is what matters most, IMO.

I moved from Europe to US to be with my at the time boyfriend and now husband. I left my family, friends, job to be with a man I loved. Was it hard? Yes! Do I miss my family? Yes, every day! But I now have my very own little family here and I don't ever regret the move.
If there is love between them they will make it work. It's not as hard as it seems.
@Cila51290 how is Vanessa selfish?

AllAboutLove wrote:IMO, if moving was such a deal breaker for Vanessa she should never have accepted a proposal, what with her being "real" and all. So to me, that's more on her, especially if they discussed this in FD and prior to the finale and if she didn't then that's on her too, IMO since it was brought up at HTDs.

And if she was unwilling to move, why go on the Bachelor in the first place? Admittedly, her odds of being F1 are low and she could have gone on for the adventure and the travel, but she said she wanted it to be Nick and she was aware it was him when she signed.

Maybe selfish was the wrong word...Self-absorbed is the more accurate term. And, there have been countless examples of that, IMO, for both of them.

Also, being a special education teacher doesn't mean you can't be selfish. I know lots of people who have very admirable jobs and are still sh*tty people. It's just one aspect of who you are.

Even ali said she doesn't see either of them moving in her blog, so this seems to be a pretty common sentiment even among those who know him, IMO.