Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #4

Even boring, meh, and lukewarm couples can do ridiculous or silly things in the opinion of others that lead to discussions.

And it's been slow. There haven't been any fireworks yet with the latest couple to break up.

I personally find it odd that some are questioning B&L decision to spend Christmas day apart, when just a month ago, they publicly announced their holiday plans. Sure, we still have a few days before Christmas but we can also conclude the availability of flight from Warsaw to Portland. They have been comprising each of their time to be with both families. They even have a plan for next year's holiday!

sosleepy wrote:I think it's funny that such a boring, meh, lukewarm, drab couple has 8 pages and counting discussing their Christmas plans.

I guess this is the most interesting thing that has happened in them since...ever?

Jkjk. I think boring can be good. Des/Chris are definitely boring and one the most stable couples. I said before that I don't think it's a big deal and maybe even preferable that they're not OTT with their adoration of each other on SM or tied to the hip. I was just curious if this behavior was out of character for them, but it seems like it wasn't from what posters are saying so NBD, IMO.

Being that they are both Christians (at least I think. I've never followed her or heard her religious affiliations) Christmas is a pretty big holiday. I know all my engaged/married family and friends always spend the day together and include a trip to church in there as well.

I still don't see why they couldn't have spent x number of days in Indiana and then traveled together to Portland to spend x number of days there. They still get to celebrate with both families and spend the holidays together. It seems like a nobrainer solution. But what do I know. Lol

Well when their TV show ends and wedding plans go on hiatus, this is the next interesting thing to discuss.

Ash2214 wrote:Even boring, meh, and lukewarm couples can do ridiculous or silly things in the opinion of others that lead to discussions.

And it's been slow. There haven't been any fireworks yet with the latest couple to break up.

I don't see how spending the holidays the way they chose to spend the holidays is ridiculous at all. Or silly. They made a decision, for them, this year for whatever reason, utilizing far more information than we have available. That's not ridiculous. And it's not silly. It may not be your "ideal," and it may give some just waiting for them to trip up reason to jump on their backs. But it's not ridiculous. IMO.

IMO I think it's really quite simple and nothing about making a decision that was right for them with more information than we have. Basically and obviously in my eyes, they each wanted to be with their own families and that's where they are. 

As for people waiting to jump on their backs or just foaming at the mouth for their breakup and discussing them and such, that's what we do here and I don't feel bad or guilty about it at all. These people put themselves out there because for whatever reason it's worth it and I really am not embarrassed to discuss them ad infinity. If they cared, they wouldn't be reality "stars." IMO.

Newt wrote:I personally find it odd that some are questioning B&L decision to spend Christmas day apart, when just a month ago, they publicly announced their holiday plans.

I don't really don't follow them that closely but if I saw this a month ago I would've stated THEN that I thought it was weird/ugly that they couldn't come to a consensus that would have them spending their first Christmas together.  The really simple solution would be to spend x amount of time in portland/indiana, and the rest with the other side. The fact that they couldn't or were unwilling to do that just sends off a little warning bell to me. This doesn't mean I think there's some breakup announcement impending or anything, it's just something that raises an eyebrow. All JMO.

Ash2214 wrote:

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:

Alanna wrote:But is this trouble or is this just how they are? Totally lukewarm posts about their 1 year anniversary, Ben being totally unresponsive to why taking away/giving back a wedding might not be fun for Lauren, okay spending the holidays apart? It seems this is just how and who they are and nothing out of the ordinary. All IMO.

I think this is just how they are! Lauren doesn't appear to be a super emotional, attached, romance-y type of person (I totally get that.) Ben is though (way too much, might I add) IMO.

And I truly don't get why it's such a big whoop that they're spending Christmas apart.. They're celebrating with both of their families together, just not on the day. Christmas is important to history, yeah, but it's just a day. Just like a birthday is just a day or an anniversary or whatever. IMO.

Yeah, for them it might just be what you said. It's just another day, but they clearly wanted to be with their own families for it so there's some sort of meaning of Christmas for them. Once you're engaged to someone, they're your family. It's about building a life together while blending your previous lives together. Christmas, anniversaries, birthdays, etc. are about being with your loved ones and making memories IMO.

Ben apparently spent Thanksgiving in CA with the Bushnells. Perhaps it would have been nice for Lauren to spend this weekend with her fiancé and his parents and then head to Portland the day after. That's just my opinion though and not something they have to do

Yeah I get it. I just don't think all that much of it. Like someone else said, Ben spent Christmas with his friends in Denver last year.

ReneeM wrote:

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:
And I truly don't get why it's such a big whoop that they're spending Christmas apart

It's just ugly to me tbh. Like I understand if circumstances like a family emergency, or work etc, force you to be apart for Christmas but willing choosing to be separate from my fiancé for christmas? The whole situation is a no from me. It's their life they can do what they want, and this is a forum where I can state my opinion on it.

Yeah, idk. I wouldn't spend Christmas without my family either, but I don't fault others who don't, if they celebrate together at some point.

umngirl wrote:Being that they are both Christians (at least I think. I've never followed her or heard her religious affiliations) Christmas is a pretty big holiday. I know all my engaged/married family and friends always spend the day together and include a trip to church in there as well.

I still don't see why they couldn't have spent x number of days in Indiana and then traveled together to Portland to spend x number of days there. They still get to celebrate with both families and spend the holidays together. It seems like a nobrainer solution. But what do I know. Lol

The last paragraph, thats what they said they're doing.

So real talk. I think they've had a difficult time filming the latter half of HEA and coming out of that experience.. Ben pulling the plug like that on their wedding (regardless what the murkey status is now) couldn't have been easy at all for Lauren. We SAW it wasn't easy for Lauren. They've been pretty transparent about many of their issues, and I actually appreciate that about them. I think they are pretty real.  They've also been pretty adamant that they want to make it work and they aren't giving up. They went and were open about going to couples counseling for goodness sake. I really believe they want to work. Going from engaged on this freaky show to real life is challenging for EVERYONE. SeanCat were also pretty open about their ups and downs at first. That's to be expected. I appreciate B&L's honesty here over others that just white wash perfect images on IG. Which is most of the others IMO.  If you actually watched HEA through the cancel wedding bit, you could still always tell how much they love each other.

They have come off HEA and been really honest about how filming the show wasn't always great on their relationship. They spent 24/7 together, and both stated that's not healthy. Both said they needed to go back to basics and kind of live normally, take healthy breaks from one and other. So maybe they are in a place right now where they are just trying to figure things out. Maybe that means they take a 5 day break to each be with their OG family unit. And that's ok. If they are really meant to be they have years of Christmases ahead of them. In my eyes Lauren still made an effort to be with Ben's family and I expect Ben will also make an effort to be with Lauren's during this holiday season. That's worth a lot to me as well. Afterwards I'm expecting both return to their shared home and I hope 2017 brings them peace and happiness.