MAFS - Season 4 - Derek Schwartz - Heather Seidel

If to go back and watch the wedding knowing what we know now, IMO, it appears our Derek was stoned during the ceremony. That would mean he would have been high immediately afterwards when photos are taken, thus accounting for his inappropriate physical aggressiveness towards Heather --- neck kissing, etc., and that would be in front of others! Add to that once alone in the hotel room, lighting up in front of her, probably saying ridiculous, inane bs, being a slob, all of which is stoner-like behavior, with Derek unable to recognize what an azz he was making of himself, because he was stoned ... is it any wonder why Heather would find him off putting?

Couldn't it be that Heather's fear of continuing and being alone with Derek might have something to do with the stoner becoming inappropriately physical while they're alone in addition to his verbal attacks?

Derek is not a teenager --- he's a grown man! He did this to himself and knowing what we know, I don't understand so much compassion for the middle aged stoner and none for the the victim of his inappropriateness ...

Amberish wrote:If to go back and watch the wedding knowing what we know now, IMO, it appears our Derek was stoned during the ceremony. That would mean he would have been high immediately afterwards when photos are taken, thus accounting for his inappropriate physical aggressiveness towards Heather --- neck kissing, etc., and that would be in front of others! Add to that once alone in the hotel room, lighting up in front of her, probably saying ridiculous, inane bs, being a slob, all of which is stoner-like behavior, with Derek unable to recognize what an azz he was making of himself, because he was stoned ... is it any wonder why Heather would find him off putting?

Couldn't it be that Heather's fear of continuing and being alone with Derek might have something to do with the stoner becoming inappropriately physical while they're alone in addition to his verbal attacks?

Derek is not a teenager --- he's a grown man! He did this to himself and knowing what we know, I don't understand so much compassion for the middle aged stoner and none for the the victim of his inappropriateness ...

There is an article from the Australian  show ...a gay couple...who said they intentionally put them together for drama as they were totally different  than what they expressed was  right  for them ..I'm starting to believe that to be the case

Amberish wrote:If to go back and watch the wedding knowing what we know now, IMO, it appears our Derek was stoned during the ceremony. That would mean he would have been high immediately afterwards when photos are taken, thus accounting for his inappropriate physical aggressiveness towards Heather --- neck kissing, etc., and that would be in front of others! Add to that once alone in the hotel room, lighting up in front of her, probably saying ridiculous, inane bs, being a slob, all of which is stoner-like behavior, with Derek unable to recognize what an azz he was making of himself, because he was stoned ... is it any wonder why Heather would find him off putting?

Couldn't it be that Heather's fear of continuing and being alone with Derek might have something to do with the stoner becoming inappropriately physical while they're alone in addition to his verbal attacks?

Derek is not a teenager --- he's a grown man! He did this to himself and knowing what we know, I don't understand so much compassion for the middle aged stoner and none for the the victim of his inappropriateness ...

*EDIT*
Jaime and the other participants said the photographer pushes for intimacy. EDIT Heather expressed her dislike for forced intimacy and they discussed and settled it during the reception.

EDIT I can recall that during the argument on the balcony, this alleged 'stoner' was making the most sense and the victim was stalling. IMO

Derek has being accused of being a stoner,  a violent abuser, manipulator and sexual harassing Heather. I am surprised he hasn't been accused of being a murderer. Just because he signed up for MAFs and tried to make it work with a judgiana (someone that judges a lot). Did he mess up at times? Yes but that's what makes him human.

Is it the same photographer for all the seasons? Because that seems a bit strange to me. Also IMO, just because a photographer says to do something doesn't mean you have to do it.  IMO Derek is a manipulator along with the producers of the show. IMO, Derek didn't make sense on the balcony at all, he kept using the word compromise incorrectly, since he kept making it about how she should compromise, yet said nothing about what changes he was going to make in return. IMO, there is something shady about the statements he made following Heather's decision. He said something about his co-workers finding out and how it would be embarrassing to go back to the office. However his LinkedIn profile doesn't support that type of work environment. Although it is possible he has not updated it lately. And honestly IMO, the show has a bad track record with some the men that have been cast over the seasons.

IMO Derek made extreme sense on the balcony. He was trying to talk to Heather about compromise but she was so stuck on the problem that he lashed out which was wrong. If he wasn't ready to compromise, would he have stopped smoking the next day?

Regardless of what is being marketed, there would always be coworkers. My sister is into sales and every monday/Friday, they meet as a team to talk abt strategies. Wouldn't it be embarrassing for anyone to divorce after 2 weeks? I don't understand the urge to make Derek seem evil.

One should never put the other person down so our supported one can shine. As humans, we should be able to see both sides without name calling. IMO they are definitely both at fault.

Ruqibabe wrote:IMO Derek made extreme sense on the balcony. He was trying to talk to Heather about compromise but she was so stuck on the problem that he lashed out which was wrong. If he wasn't ready to compromise, would he have stopped smoking the next day?

Regardless of what is being marketed, there would always be coworkers. My sister is into sales and every monday/Friday, they meet as a team to talk abt strategies.  Wouldn't it be embarrassing for anyone to divorce after 2 weeks? I don't understand the urge to make Derek seem evil.

One should never put the other person down so our supported one can shine. As humans, we should be able to see both sides without name calling. IMO they are definitely both at fault.

IMO the odds that he actually quit smoking are pretty low.

jupitercornflakes wrote:

Ruqibabe wrote:IMO Derek made extreme sense on the balcony. He was trying to talk to Heather about compromise but she was so stuck on the problem that he lashed out which was wrong. If he wasn't ready to compromise, would he have stopped smoking the next day?

Regardless of what is being marketed, there would always be coworkers. My sister is into sales and every monday/Friday, they meet as a team to talk abt strategies.  Wouldn't it be embarrassing for anyone to divorce after 2 weeks? I don't understand the urge to make Derek seem evil.

One should never put the other person down so our supported one can shine. As humans, we should be able to see both sides without name calling. IMO they are definitely both at fault.

IMO the odds that he actually quit smoking are pretty low.

I really don't care if he totally quit smoking but Heather attested that he stopped smoking on the honeymoon after she complained. That's all that matters.

jupitercornflakes wrote:

Is it the same photographer for all the seasons? Because that seems a bit strange to me. Also IMO, just because a photographer says to do something doesn't mean you have to do it.  IMO Derek is a manipulator along with the producers of the show. IMO, Derek didn't make sense on the balcony at all, he kept using the word compromise incorrectly, since he kept making it about how she should compromise, yet said nothing about what changes he was going to make in return. IMO, there is something shady about the statements he made following Heather's decision. He said something about his co-workers finding out and how it would be embarrassing to go back to the office. However his LinkedIn profile doesn't support that type of work environment. Although it is possible he has not updated it lately. And honestly IMO, the show has a bad track record with some the men that have been cast over the seasons.

Regarding the bolded, isn't that what marriage is about??? Compromise??? I totally agree with Ruqibabe about Derek being the sensible one.

2observe wrote:

jupitercornflakes wrote:

Is it the same photographer for all the seasons? Because that seems a bit strange to me. Also IMO, just because a photographer says to do something doesn't mean you have to do it.  IMO Derek is a manipulator along with the producers of the show. IMO, Derek didn't make sense on the balcony at all, he kept using the word compromise incorrectly, since he kept making it about how she should compromise, yet said nothing about what changes he was going to make in return. IMO, there is something shady about the statements he made following Heather's decision. He said something about his co-workers finding out and how it would be embarrassing to go back to the office. However his LinkedIn profile doesn't support that type of work environment. Although it is possible he has not updated it lately. And honestly IMO, the show has a bad track record with some the men that have been cast over the seasons.

Regarding the bolded, isn't that what marriage is about???  Compromise???  I totally agree with Ruqibabe about Derek being the sensible one.  

Thanks 2observe. I don't understand the need to make Derek the villian. I dont think Heather should be the villian either. Did he screw up by smoking and lashing out? Yes. Do I see a manipulator/ violent abuser/ sexual harasser? Nope. I see a flawed man that with the right partner could be a gem.

  It's over!!  Nothing is going to change that.   JMHO.

Ruqibabe wrote:

2observe wrote:

jupitercornflakes wrote:

Is it the same photographer for all the seasons? Because that seems a bit strange to me. Also IMO, just because a photographer says to do something doesn't mean you have to do it.  IMO Derek is a manipulator along with the producers of the show. IMO, Derek didn't make sense on the balcony at all, he kept using the word compromise incorrectly, since he kept making it about how she should compromise, yet said nothing about what changes he was going to make in return. IMO, there is something shady about the statements he made following Heather's decision. He said something about his co-workers finding out and how it would be embarrassing to go back to the office. However his LinkedIn profile doesn't support that type of work environment. Although it is possible he has not updated it lately. And honestly IMO, the show has a bad track record with some the men that have been cast over the seasons.

Regarding the bolded, isn't that what marriage is about???  Compromise???  I totally agree with Ruqibabe about Derek being the sensible one.  

Thanks  2observe. I don't understand the need to make Derek the villian. I dont think Heather should be the villian either. Did he screw up by smoking and lashing out? Yes. Do I see a manipulator/ violent abuser/ sexual harasser? Nope. I see a flawed man that with the right partner could be a gem.

Totally agree.

Please be careful. Derek is clearly not being portrayed as a villain on the show so this is treading very close to criticizing members for their opinions which is not allowed. It's perfectly fine to say why you disagree though.