MAFS - Season 4 - Derek Schwartz - Heather Seidel

I'm way behind on the show but watched them at the caves. Yes, Heather should have waited for Derek but he harps on everything for so long. It seemed like he never was going to stop talking about her supposed flirting with the instructor. He's all about reacting but doesn't seem to be doing much on his side of things to help. He takes offense about almost everything which I'd find exhausting. I don't buy that he's actually in this much more than she is. I think he's just trying to come across as the good guy in this. All JMO.

albean99 wrote:I'm way behind on the show but watched them at the caves. Yes, Heather should have waited for Derek but he harps on everything for so long. It seemed like he never was going to stop talking about her supposed flirting with the instructor. He's all about reacting but doesn't seem to be doing much on his side of things to help. He takes offense about almost everything which I'd find exhausting. I don't buy that he's actually in this much more than she is. I think he's just trying to come across as the good guy in this. All JMO.

I agree. IMO, Derek isn't putting in any effort beyond lip service. He is saying the things that some people seem to want to hear, but his actions show the opposite of what he was saying.

My husband worked in the mental health field, and it is basically an accepted premise that if a person has a drug or alcohol addiction that their emotional growth is stunted to the point of time they first became addicted. If Derek is indeed a pot smoker and started smoking in his early teens, then his behavior would make perfect sense. He acts like a spoiled little boy, say what you need to say to try to please authority, but not have the maturity to put those words into actions and instead act like a petulant child. In his confessionals he says the right things (maybe the producers write his statements, after all it would look bad on them because smoking pot is illegal in both Florida and San Juan) but he doesn't know when to let something go and he just harps on it and acts like a jealous 14 year old girl!

Heather is clearly high maintenance but as I've said previously, I give her a pass because being filmed with somebody breaking the law could affect her career. I would have walked out the second he lit up, or even asked if it was ok to light up....it's not ok to break the law and he is an adult and she shouldn't have to tell him it's inappropriate.

Have we established for a fact that Derek was smoking pot?

provenceguy wrote:Have we established for a fact that Derek was smoking pot?

I don't know how we'd do that. Nobody from the show is going to admit it since it's illegal. I believe it because it fits but that's an opinion. We need to make sure we state that or say "if he's smoking pot" or similar wording. It's not fair to say it as a fact imo.

albean99 wrote:

provenceguy wrote:Have we established for a fact that Derek was smoking pot?

I don't know how we'd do that. Nobody from the show is going to admit it since it's illegal. I believe it because it fits but that's an opinion. We need to make sure we state that or say "if he's smoking pot" or similar wording. It's not fair to say it as a fact imo.

Yes, exactly my thoughts...

It's been in the tabloids. http://www.inquisitr.com/3380668/married-at-first-sight-spoilers-do-derek-and-heather-stay-together/

Thanks for the link @BusyLizzie.

That is not confirmation that Derek is indeed a pot smoker. They could have gotten that information from our forum, who knows.

As I posted up thread, if it wasn't aired, and Derek himself didn't admit it, then we do not have proof. We must say, "if Derek in fact smokes pot" "if it's pot that is the issue" etc. We cannot accuse someone of anything unless we have proof.

(((((( Gasp ))))) Are you saying Tabloids might be wrong? LOL

GuardianAngel wrote:Thanks for the link @BusyLizzie.

That is not confirmation that Derek is indeed a pot smoker. They could have gotten that information from our forum, who knows.

As I posted up thread, if it wasn't aired, and Derek himself didn't admit it, then we do not have proof. We must say, "if Derek in fact smokes pot" "if it's pot that is the issue" etc. We cannot accuse someone of anything unless we have proof.

I agree that it is important to say "if", in my post I believe I made it clear that if he did smoke pot then that explains a lot. I have tried to be careful with wording but sometimes we get so passionate we forget to be fair.

BusyLizzie wrote:(((((( Gasp ))))) Are you saying Tabloids might be wrong? LOL

I don't mean to be snarky, but they could very well have obtained that information here, which we know some outlets have in the past. I do not want our forum to ever be the source for incorrect information, that's why we have strict rules on providing source or stating that it's the opinion of the poster.

@momof2dogs

The more I think about this couple the more I think the producers are manipulating us. I can't put the timing together with the words. Wedding ok. Arrival at hotel ok. After than something happened we did not see. Heather reacted??? Then the bike ride? Then the surf lesson? Then the cave? Then no trip to the rain forest? Then the tipsy dinner? Convo with the minister? Talks with friends? Can't quite fit in the dark & stormy night. It seems a bit jumbled & editing is suspicious. Heather seemed upbeat on the bike ride, when surfing, and at the cave. The one night when it was pouring she was visibly upset. Derek was not nice then (your life's not perfect or you wouldn't be here) or when he talked about a dog's age. No sound bites from Heather. If she had said them, wouldn't we have seen/heard them? We certainly heard his side about how she pulled away. No patience from him. Hurt feelings, accusations, and feeling sorry . . . but still wants it to work. She is just emotionally exhausted. Also, I see no continuity in the discussions with the minister whose main goal seems to be to remind Heather that she is legally married. No discussion of why she is so upset with how he speaks to her or why she is so exhausted. This is a woman who works on a flying bus with dozens of demanding travelers. IMO there are too many pieces of the puzzle missing.