Ashley I - BIP - Season 3 - Discussion

One thing I do believe is that she confirms that Jared told her multiple times that it was never going to happen between them prior to telling her on the show. What I don't buy is that she finally got it. Her actions say different.

It would be so much mature of her if she would back down on Caila by this point but that's not Ashley and she's clearly not mature. Is she going to say that Caila leaving is proof that she's not as into Jared? How does she explain that they dated post-show or will she just ignore it?

This woman is in deep denial. She could, imo, easily re-write history according to her needs.
Even if I was slightly attracted to someone and a person was in their life as Ashley is in Jared's, I would be running in the opposite direction. Who needs that?

I can't wait to know what her 'proof' is that she was right. If it's that Jaila broke up after the show I will laugh my azz off. Not sure if Ashley is aware of this...but most people don't go on one date then become a stage 5 clinging stalker for life.

Ashley and Jared will have to end up together simply because nobody else will be an option. Even if you give them the benefit of the doubt and say it's all editing and they are playing roles, the general population now knows them as this dysfunctional couple. Normal people (outside of this cast) will not join that game. Their only options are each other.

This idiot doesn't get that Jared is using her to trash Caila, so AI will look like tge crazy person and Jared will look like the nice guy. She's going on a full on trash campaign against Caila, with the encouragement from Jared, and his 'image' stays squeaky clean. If she wasn't so horrible, I might feel sorry for her. *IMO*

"Caila wasn't as into Jared as he was into her". Kinda of like Jared was never into YOU as much as you were into him.

She tries to justify her actions so people don't think she's crazy or pathetic but it just makes her look MORE pathetic.

@Fingersandtoes I pretty much feel the same way. I want to be on her side and feel empathy for her because I do think Jared uses her for his own selfish purposes but she loses me with her trash campaign against Caila. She should be directing her anger towards Jared instead of Caila. I find it hard to believe she's really over Jared when she's still trashing Caila like this.

This whole Jared relationship has her totally messed up. If he really cared about Ashley he would've ended their friendship along time ago so she can finally heal and move on and find a man who will reciprocate her feelings but I think he gets off too much on her obsession with him. He'll never let go of their friendship because that would mean her attention would go towards another man instead of him.

All JMO.

Diana wrote:"Caila wasn't as into Jared as he was into her". Kinda of like Jared was never into YOU as much as you were into him.

She tries to justify her actions so people don't think she's crazy or pathetic but it just makes her look MORE pathetic.

That happens all the time, especially on this franchise. The lead ends up dumping a few people who are more into the lead than the lead into them. It happens on BIP all the time. It's not horrific or wrong, it's human. And really, it's none of AI's business. IMO.

http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/bachelors-ashley-bawls-after-patti-stanger-calls-her-full-of-s--t-w436295
“We’re going to do something that is very drastic, but that works every f--king time,” matchmaker Patti Stanger tells a sobbing Iaconetti. “You’re going to unfollow him on Instagram, you’re going to unfollow him on Facebook, you’re going to unfollow him for life.” When Iaconetti looks appalled at the idea of deleting Haibon, who she has been in an on-and-off relationship with since they met on Bachelor in Paradise season 2, Stanger bluntly adds: “This guy doesn’t like you.” Iaconetti hands over her phone but says through tears, “I feel like I’m doing something against my will.”

After hearing Iaconetti’s hesitation, Stanger, 55, decides to take drastic measures. “She’s just stuck,” Stanger says to the camera. “It seems like it’s time for me to unleash the Jersey.” She then gives the Bachelor season 19 contestant her unfiltered opinion: “You’re f--king crying over some guy that won’t give you the time of day!” When Iaconetti tries to disagree, the matchmaker tells her, “You’re full of s--t.”The Bachelor in Paradise seasons 2 and 3 standout immediately gets heated. “I’m not feeling angry at who she wants me to be angry at,” Iaconetti says about Stanger in an interview during the episode. “I’m feeling angry toward her.” In their conversation, Stanger continues to push Iaconetti to hit the unfollow button. “This guy is taking up your husband’s space,” she says. “This douche does not deserve to be your friend.”

Too bad she didn't listen to Patti, and went on Bachelor in Paradise anyway to chase him once again. Patti must be rolling her eyes.

Wait ... she did the matchmaking show before BIP? :shootme:

There is something deeply troubling about Ashley. Whatever void she has, she is trying to fill it with Jared, imo. (I suppose you could take that literally, but that's not how I meant it. ) Remember how obsessed she became with the Farmer? Even if Patti had been successful in getting Ashley to cutoff Jared, until that hole is filled, I think Ashley will be like this in any relationship. Very disturbing...and sad.

allykat wrote:I can't wait to know what her 'proof' is that she was right. If it's that Jaila broke up after the show I will laugh my azz off. Not sure if Ashley is aware of this...but most people don't go on one date then become a stage 5 clinging stalker for life.

Ashley and Jared will have to end up together simply because nobody else will be an option. Even if you give them the benefit of the doubt and say it's all editing and they are playing roles, the general population now knows them as this dysfunctional couple. Normal people (outside of this cast) will not join that game. Their only options are each other.

  I actually really don't think she is aware of that.  Really, to me this has absolutely nothing to do with Jared at all and is some kind of major subconscious thing with Ashley that she has to figure out the cause of and heal from.  Seriously messed up and unhealthy girl - emotionally - at this stage of her life IMO. She seems far to old to not realize she has some work to do on herself JMO.

This Huffington Post article is spot on (IMO)... sorry if it was already posted. It's from 8/24 and contains twitter quotes that are worth clicking the link below to read.

Poor Ashley Iaconetti, right? The most beloved sentient mascara smear on TV, or at least on “Bachelor in Paradise,” continued her stint on Season 3 this week with more tears and more heartache.

Last week, Ashley arrived in Puerto Vallarta to find her beloved Jared Haibon, the object of her single-minded attentions since last season of “Bachelor in Paradise,” had recently paired up with Caila Quinn, the ever-sunny second runner-up on Ben Higgins’s season of “The Bachelor.”

Devastated, Ashley simultaneously insisted that she’d come to “Paradise” to move on and meet someone else, but also that she could never get over Jared and couldn’t stand to see him fall in love with Caila. But she was ready to move on. But would Jared EVER want to be with her? But she finally had closure with him. But maybe if she can convince Jared that Caila is a robot he’ll fall in love with her at last? It’s like “The Notebook,” ladies and gentlemen!


“It’s impossible not to empathize with Ashley. But the world isn’t black and white. She can be suffering, but also acting in a selfish and even cruel way.


Ashley has become a core member of the “Bachelor” squad since her arrival on the second season of “Paradise” last year. She’s beloved by her co-stars, including Jared ― if only platonically! ― and by producers ― if only for her nonstop capacity to spark emotional dramatics! ― and by many fans ― if only out of sheer pity. We feel like we know Ashley, far better than Caila (and, for that matter, Jared, who barely makes a peep in three seasons on the franchise until he meets Caila and finally gets excited about something).

Perhaps more importantly, we feel like we know Ashley, as viewers, because she behaves exactly how we all would like to behave when a romantic endeavor doesn’t go our way, and how many of us have behaved in the past when suffering through a first heartbreak. Sure, she can’t stop sobbing, following Jared around and begging him to give her a glimmer of hope, but most of us can remember a time when we acted just that pathetic over a romantic object.

Twitter rallied around Ashley this week as she sobbed over Jared and lashed out at Caila:






I won’t dispute this. Years ago, in college (and, for the record, Ashley and I are the same age ― 28), I fell hard for my best friend. We had an on-and-off relationship through graduation, and remained friends throughout. I know exactly why I acted the way I did when I sobbed on his shoulder after he told me that he couldn’t see me romantically, or that he’d met someone else. I know why I remained obsessed with the idea that we were ultimately soulmates and no other girl could satisfy him.

But I was wrong. I hurt him, many times over. I made his life very difficult and his dating life impossible, because he cared deeply about me but he wanted a platonic relationship. I look back and see an agonizing time in my own past, but also a lot of unjustifiable, hurtful actions on my part.

Now, I see Ashley making the same mistakes out of the same pain, and it’s impossible not to empathize with her. But the world isn’t black and white. She can be suffering, but also acting in a selfish and even cruel way. I know, because I have DONE JUST THAT. Most people have.

Defending this as “just being honest” or “being the realest,” though ― that’s a bridge too far.






Ashley might be aware of her own pain, her own resentment toward Caila, and her own hopeless desires ― and how embarrassing all of those are ― but she doesn’t seem aware of how selfish they are, so it might be healthy for her to be made aware. A true friend doesn’t pat a girl on the back for spiraling out and calling a romantic rival a “backstabbing whore” and “a robot” ― they pull a Nick Viall and tell her to pump the brakes. Sometimes tough love is better for you in the long run.

In the rush to pump Ashley up on social media ― as many other “Bachelor” stars did ― and to trot her out on “After Paradise” to double down on her nastiest statements, there’s been little regard for the actual couple in the mix here: Jared and Caila.

And believe it or not, Jared and Caila (Jaila?) are real people too. Imperfect perhaps, but easy enough to sympathize with, were there not such an automatic suspicion toward a woman who has a cheery disposition and tries to be diplomatic. Caila has long been dogged by the label of “fake,” though the evidence seems to come down to how much she smiles and how sweet she acts ― which, by the way, can both be genuine behaviors, not to mention behaviors that women are traditionally groomed to possess.




So far, Caila hasn’t been needlessly unpleasant toward Ashley on or after the show, even taking responsibility for not handling the situation with Jared as thoughtfully as she could have. Meanwhile, Ashley has been openly discussing her intent to sabotage the relationship in her in-the-moment interviews and tossing around slurs about Caila behind her back, especially to Jared. When Jade and Tanner, last season’s golden couple, show up to hand out a date card, Ashley goes in for the kill:




Afterward, when Caila finally confronted her underminer, Ashley smugly told her, “I don’t know if [Jared is] ever going to trust you more than he trusts me,” and flaunted her intention to continue telling her main man whatever crap she wanted about Caila.

Meanwhile, between sob sessions, the woman has brought her supposed dear friend Jared to a state of such exasperation he nearly walked off the show.

Has no one ever experienced the misery of a “friend” who controls you by inducing guilt, demands all of your attention, and blackmails you emotionally whenever you try to find a scrap of happiness elsewhere? What about the hurt and frustration of being sl*t-shamed and trashed by a jealous ex or so-called friend of a guy you’re seeing, who’s determined to ruin your reputation?

These may not be comparably intense or heart-wrenching experiences to what Ashley is going through, but both Jared and Caila are suffering because she’s choosing not to deal with her pain in a mature and considerate way.



Frankly, there’s no way for Jared and Caila to avoid the situation short of simply ceding to Ashley’s demands ― and sacrificing their right to pursue a mutual, adult relationship. That’s not a fair or remotely healthy expectation, but it’s one Ashley is creating by constantly surrounding their blossoming romance in a tropical storm of tears.

The Ashley I.-Jared-Caila love triangle is painful to watch because we all relate to the anguish of unrequited love, but her pain is inevitable. Jared doesn’t love her back ― that’s just how it is.


“It’s hard not to love Ashley’s openness and relate to her pain. But kindness and self-control are also virtues, and a little bit of moderation in all things never hurt anyone.


Thus, Ashley is the only person with choices that could minimize everyone’s pain: She could have left when she didn’t get a rose instead of begging to stay. She could seek out non-Jared friends on the show to be her emotional supporters and distractions from Jared and Caila. She could simply be a little less impressed with her own realness and a little more kind.

Honesty is a virtue, of course. It’s hard not to love Ashley’s openness and relate to her pain. But kindness and self-control are also virtues, and a little bit of moderation in all things never hurt anyone.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/on-bachelor-in-paradise-ashley-i-is-all-of-us-but-so-are-jared-and-caila_us_57bd9aeee4b03d51368bb1eb