Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #2

Great post, BKay. I have a master's degree, and worked for all of my years post college as a social worker. It's hard freaking work, with very little pay off. Then I had twins, and in my area, full time childcare for both children basically equals my salary. So, now I'm a SAHM (definitely not forever, but for now) and it's EQUALLY hard, time consuming, all encompassing work.

Just as a commentary to our society, and really not much to do with BenLo, I'm not sure why women in general are so harsh and critical towards other women and their life choices. Men, in general, I think do a much better job of supporting one and other and building their fellow men up. And this is a large reason I think we still live in a male dominated world. Women just don't know how to support one and other. And bringing it back to Lauren and Ben, you can kind of see that in a small way with the critical analysis about Ben and Lauren and their relationship. Lauren gets 10x the criticism as Ben. Her choices are often ripped apart and analyzed to death. Ben, the man who loves her and is building a life with her, often gets a free pass, or in the worse case, is offered pity in the form of "good luck to him" or whatever. From what I have whitnessed, Ben is so lucky a woman like Lauren Bushnell, who is so similar to him in so many fundamental ways, happened to join his season. He lucked out. Because of her, he probably gets to be one of the INCREDIBLY lucky few in this elusive Bachelor married club.

SarahD wrote:For me, I got what both Ben and Lauren are about during their first date. When they had their first conversation about what is life like for the two of them, I was hooked line and sinker. They may be boring or bland to some but for me they are both incredibly beautiful people but have such simple and down to earth take on life.

I don't see the comparison of Lauren with both Kaitlyn and Andi because she is nothing like those people.  I never liked either of Kaitlyn and Andi (two of the worst ettes) because they are very shallow but with Lauren I see simplicity and grace.

I don't think they are boring either.  I think they live life probably like most of us do.  Just normal.  Some days we do things that are fun and exciting and other days we just do boring life things.  I can relate to this couple better than I do with others.  I like their values and seem to be in line with mine.  IMO, Lauren is so far from Kaitlyn and Andi.

sosleepy wrote:Great post, BKay. I have a master's degree, and worked for all of my years post college as a social worker. It's hard freaking work, with very little pay off. Then I had twins, and in my area, full time childcare for both children basically equals my salary. So, now I'm a SAHM (definitely not forever, but for now) and it's EQUALLY hard, time consuming, all encompassing work.

Just as a commentary to our society, and really not much to do with BenLo, I'm not sure why women in general are so harsh and critical towards other women and their life choices. Men, in general, I think do a much better job of supporting one and other and building their fellow men up. And this is a large reason I think we still live in a male dominated world. Women just don't know how to support one and other. And bringing it back to Lauren and Ben, you can kind of see that in a small way with the critical analysis about Ben and Lauren and their relationship. Lauren gets 10x the criticism as Ben. Her choices are often ripped apart and analyzed to death. Ben, the man who loves her and is building a life with her, often gets a free pass, or in the worse case, is offered pity in the form of "good luck to him" or whatever. From what I have whitnessed, Ben is so lucky a woman like Lauren Bushnell, who is so similar to him in so many fundamental ways, happened to join his season. He lucked out. Because of her, he probably gets to be one of the INCREDIBLY lucky few in this elusive Bachelor married club.

Great post. THANK YOU

I beg to differ with you SS I have been fighting for Women's 
Rights practically my whole life. Not as much now, but I 
will drop everything to help a sister In need. I don't know 
any woman who wouldn't. In encouragement, sometimes
financially. If I'm not mistaken you live in Indiana, which
in some cases is a 50's lifestyle. I feel that way when I visit 
Chicago born there. Where a man still dances with his wife. 

Nonina430 wrote:I beg to differ with you SS I have been fighting for Women's 
Rights practically my whole life. Not as much now, but I 
will drop everything to help a sister In need. I don't know 
any woman who wouldn't. In encouragement, sometimes
financially. If I'm not mistaken you live in Indiana, which
in some cases is a 50's lifestyle. I feel that way when I visit 
Chicago born there. Where a man still dances with his wife. 

Nope. I don't live in Indiana. I live in a very progressively liberal, "crunchy" town if you will, located not in Indiana. I'm pretty progressive myself, I wouldn't vote for Republican Ben. I still like him though. ;)

I was speaking in generalities. Women, in general, and of course there are exceptions, can be quite critical and mean spirited towards other women.

Sorry,  then it was not you who met Ben in Indiana?
In any respect you are not speaking to me. I come from a 
whole different perspective. i see women helping other
women, giving them jobs, helping them further their education.
etc. 

In regards to both their families bonding, yes that's nice to see but they aren't the first couple to do that. Sean/Catherine and Kaitlyn/Shawn's have all recently for special events and of course all the other couples at one point. Just don't see how they are "perfect couple" in that regards. IMO.

sosleepy wrote:

Nonina430 wrote:I beg to differ with you SS I have been fighting for Women's 
Rights practically my whole life. Not as much now, but I 
will drop everything to help a sister In need. I don't know 
any woman who wouldn't. In encouragement, sometimes
financially. If I'm not mistaken you live in Indiana, which
in some cases is a 50's lifestyle. I feel that way when I visit 
Chicago born there. Where a man still dances with his wife. 

Nope. I don't live in Indiana. I live in a very progressively liberal, "crunchy" town if you will, located not in Indiana. I'm pretty progressive myself, I wouldn't vote for Republican Ben. I still like him though. ;)

I was speaking in generalities. Women, in general, and of course there are exceptions, can be quite critical and mean spirited towards other women.

@sosleepy,  I completely agree with you. This scenario plays out between women time after time. It does not matter what geographical area we live. I live in very progressive CA. Women will get competitive with other women in very non productive ways to the detriment of being on the same "team." I think this definitely helps maintain the glass ceiling and for women to be held to a different standard than their male counterparts.  As woman we need to change our perspectives and encourage each other and lift each other up especially in the increasingly harsh circumstances facing society in the world today.  JMO

I think Lauren gets credited for being less than she is. Ben and Lauren are both incredibly kind, sincere people. I need look no further than the families they grew up in to know that together as a couple and individually they will both make positive contributions to society and their family. I look forward to watching their lives flourish.  JMO

I don't know where you live in Ca? I think we're close. Are you 
Speaking of competivness in sports? I feel geographically 
there is a difference in women's thinking.
Ben and Lauren have a right to do what ever they choose.
Speaking of glass ceilings. In entertainment yes, women
are fighting hard for equality. It will come. 

Nonina, We do live close. I am speaking in life in general and the women/men dynamic....but more specifically in the corporate world in relation to the glass ceiling. It exists....big time. Here, there and everywhere.       JMOEO.

sosleepy wrote:Great post, BKay. I have a master's degree, and worked for all of my years post college as a social worker. It's hard freaking work, with very little pay off. Then I had twins, and in my area, full time childcare for both children basically equals my salary. So, now I'm a SAHM (definitely not forever, but for now) and it's EQUALLY hard, time consuming, all encompassing work.

Just as a commentary to our society, and really not much to do with BenLo, I'm not sure why women in general are so harsh and critical towards other women and their life choices. Men, in general, I think do a much better job of supporting one and other and building their fellow men up. And this is a large reason I think we still live in a male dominated world. Women just don't know how to support one and other. And bringing it back to Lauren and Ben, you can kind of see that in a small way with the critical analysis about Ben and Lauren and their relationship. Lauren gets 10x the criticism as Ben. Her choices are often ripped apart and analyzed to death. Ben, the man who loves her and is building a life with her, often gets a free pass, or in the worse case, is offered pity in the form of "good luck to him" or whatever. From what I have whitnessed, Ben is so lucky a woman like Lauren Bushnell, who is so similar to him in so many fundamental ways, happened to join his season. He lucked out. Because of her, he probably gets to be one of the INCREDIBLY lucky few in this elusive Bachelor married club.

Big thumbs up on this statement. I don't think women make a conscious effort to not support one another, but it happens more often than it does with men in all aspects of life. If you look at this entire forum (and I am making the assumption that the majority of posters here are women), people are MUCH harder on the women than they are on the men. Just as long as these couples are happy, it really doesn't matter what we think when we impose our own values, ideas on their relationships. Good luck to them all.

Seabear, tell me about it, I've been fighting for equality for
women more years than I care to remember.