The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - ATFR - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* #3

^This. Mgrissom,

"Blindside" was the word for this season it seemed used by JoJo and Becca. They wanted his validation.
Ben used it in the context that he did not want to be blindsided by Lauren. He was worried she would leave and he constantly validated his feeling for her.
Ben knew the show must go on and he did what it took to get him to the end result. I'm sure he would've done everything in his power to have Lauren stay

Fingersandtoes wrote:^
IMO it has helped that he was open and honest from the start, with Lauren. It was a risk he took, instead of blaming it on production and bla bla. He owned it all, still does. And Lauren being so level headed has made it easier for him. So now he can still own it, and there are no surprises around the corner. Jmo.

ETA, I just don't see anything that hints that he misses being the crntre of attention. He seems to appreciate hear Lauren do a lot of the talking, he turned down the prospect of DWTS. He seems more than eager to get Lauren and himself settled in. Denver and away from the attention.

My issue with Ben is him not telling Lauren about him telling Jojo he loved her before he asked her to marry him.  To me, it seems that he was more truthful to Jojo by telling her that he also loved Lauren.  I just think that it would have been more honest if Ben had given Lauren a chance to consider how she felt about his feelings for Jojo before she accepted his ring. jmo

2observe wrote:

Fingersandtoes wrote:^
IMO it has helped that he was open and honest from the start, with Lauren. It was a risk he took, instead of blaming it on production and bla bla. He owned it all, still does. And Lauren being so level headed has made it easier for him. So now he can still own it, and there are no surprises around the corner. Jmo.

ETA, I just don't see anything that hints that he misses being the crntre of attention. He seems to appreciate hear Lauren do a lot of the talking, he turned down the prospect of DWTS. He seems more than eager to get Lauren and himself settled in. Denver and away from the attention.

My issue with Ben is him not telling Lauren about him telling Jojo he loved her before he asked her to marry him.  To me, it seems that he was more truthful to Jojo by telling her that he also loved Lauren.  I just think that it would have been more honest if Ben had given Lauren a chance to consider how she felt about his feelings for Jojo before she accepted his ring. jmo

And that might be part of the reason he repropsed to her.

2observe wrote:

Fingersandtoes wrote:^
IMO it has helped that he was open and honest from the start, with Lauren. It was a risk he took, instead of blaming it on production and bla bla. He owned it all, still does. And Lauren being so level headed has made it easier for him. So now he can still own it, and there are no surprises around the corner. Jmo.

ETA, I just don't see anything that hints that he misses being the crntre of attention. He seems to appreciate hear Lauren do a lot of the talking, he turned down the prospect of DWTS. He seems more than eager to get Lauren and himself settled in. Denver and away from the attention.

My issue with Ben is him not telling Lauren about him telling Jojo he loved her before he asked her to marry him.  To me, it seems that he was more truthful to Jojo by telling her that he also loved Lauren.  I just think that it would have been more honest if Ben had given Lauren a chance to consider how she felt about his feelings for Jojo before she accepted his ring. jmo

^^^^ITA and this might be the reason he needed the re-proposal. Just a hunch but I bet ben regretted not telling her BEFORE he proposed. I admire everything Des did by telling Chris before he got down on one knee. He did not give lauren the chance and not that it would have mattered to her, he should have told her before he proposed. JMHO

While I agree, telling her ahead of time seems the most honest, straightforward path to take, IMO, it was not a conversation to be had on camera.  He must have felt doing it the way he did would be best for them. In the end, I don't think it would have mattered if he had told her before, they still would've gotten engaged.  I didn't need to see the conversation, it's none of my business, and there's no way TPTB wouldn't have used it.  JMO.

Ladybug82 wrote:While I agree, telling her ahead of time seems the most honest, straightforward path to take, IMO, it was not a conversation to be had on camera.  He must have felt doing it the way he did would be best for them.  In the end, I don't think it would have mattered if he had.  I didn't need to see the conversation, it's none of my business, and there's no way TPTB wouldn't have used it.  JMO.

^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^

Exactly this!

^^^But it was none of our business what he discussed with Jo either but it is a TV show.

Still wishing them the best.....;)

ForeverLove wrote:

Ladybug82 wrote:While I agree, telling her ahead of time seems the most honest, straightforward path to take, IMO, it was not a conversation to be had on camera.  He must have felt doing it the way he did would be best for them.  In the end, I don't think it would have mattered if he had.  I didn't need to see the conversation, it's none of my business, and there's no way TPTB wouldn't have used it.  JMO.

^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^

Exactly this!

I agree, also.  :Nod:

Although he had feelings for JoJo it was a friendship and a showmance. It sure did not take either one of them long to get over the other. I think there was a difference in his ily's to Lauren vs JoJo. If understand how Lauren can accept his actions on the show and move on. I love that they continually say how they have grown in love.

soccermom333 wrote:^^^But it was none of our business what he discussed with Jo either but it is a TV show.  

Still wishing them the best.....;)

I think the difference is, it was Jojo who pulled him into the bathroom for a private convo where she wanted a signal away from cameras that she was the one. That convo led to his disclosure of his love for Lauren. She pushed the issue for her own sake and was told what she was told with mics fired up to record it. Lauren didn't push the issue of an another love but knew the possibility . If Jojo didn't push the issue, I think Ben would have stayed mum to both . Mho

soccermom333 wrote:^^^But it was none of our business what he discussed with Jo either but it is a TV show.  

Still wishing them the best.....;)

It is a tv show, but I didn't need to see all that we did with Jojo either.  But hers was left in to advance her storyline for her 'Ette season.  Leaving in Ben and Lauren's (had it been on film). would have done nothing but lead to more rude, unnecessary questions in the media rounds for these two who actually do seem to be in a good place 4 months post FRC.  It would've been a slaughter.  These two actually have a shot, if they continue to work at it, IMO.  Unlike many of the more recent couples, I don't get the sense they're faking it until they make it or just using each other for opportunity and monetary gain.  

And IMO, there was a difference in how and what he told the two women I'm sure.  When he was telling Jojo, I personally felt he was trying to clue her in and let her know and down gently some before the FRC.  IMO, telling Lauren would've been more a I screwed things up and we have to deal with them, but I'll make it up to you and prove my love to you every day for the rest of my life type conversation.  

Regardless, we won't all see things the same way and all 3 seem happy now.  Jojo's got plenty of men fawning over her every move as she navigates to find her person.  And Ben and Lauren seem ready to get away from the spotlight and start living life together.  I wish them all nothing but the best and a lifetime of happiness and love.  JMO.

I agree that it would have been nice if he'd told Lauren, but I think the reason he didn't was because he knew he was picking her in the end (even if subconsciously). He did a pretty terrible job of pulling away from JoJo, but that was his way of 'keeping her in the loop' and giving her some doubt going into FRC. I don't think he would have taken the chance of sending Lauren running, especially on camera (or on a bathroom floor) when he wouldn't have the chance to tell her the full story. If I had to guess, when he did fess up in private it was probably less of a 'conversation' and more of a marathon confession of everything.