The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - ATFR - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* #3

I think Ben and Lauren do love each other and now the relationship will start IRL. IMO Ben has some growing up to do but if they really are committed to each other they will make it work.  Ben created a mess with Lauren and JoJo and all his ILY's.  His actions were damaging to both women.  Ben was very suck on what Ben wants and needs.  His mom and dad helped to perpetuate that mentality.  Hopefully as he has watched the episodes air he has learned some things about himself and tries to grow from it.  I think Lauren has been incredibly gracious considering all the negetivity and uncomfortable things she has had to deal with.  I am sure that Ben and Lauren have had some tough conversations while the show has been airing.  I also think that is normal and just.  At the end of the day Ben chose Lauren and Ben chose to say good bye to JoJo.  I saw absolutely no regret about that from Ben on the ATFR.  Nor did I see regret from JoJo as she seems happily moving forward to sift through her pile of men as the next Bachelorette.  I watched the morning shows with Ben and Lauren and I think they will be fine.  IMO they both need some sleep and some RL normalcy.  That will be the real testament to their chances for longevity.

I think Ben was shell shocked on the ATFR because he has had to deal with all the blowback for his actions playing out on TV.  I got the vibe that he was nervous about what CH was going to spring on him. Ben and Lauren's PDA seemed normal to me.  No need to be OTT.  
JK asked them directly to name things (annoying) that they had discovered about each other post show.  It seemed truthful and not alarming. Both Ben and Lauren seemed to be having fun with Jimmy.

I think Ben and Lauren have a good chance because they seem to have a good family support system.  I wish them the best as they adjust to RL.  I hope they truly are each others person.

bblake wrote:^ their families wouldn't be on stage hugging each other like they've known each other all their lives if things were rocky, IMO.

I agree. Ben also definitely didn't have to re-propose. He doesn't seem like the type that would fake it like that if things were rocky.

A lot has been made about their "different" sleeping patterns. Small potatoes. You know a BIG similarity I saw? They both pray together daily, about and for each other as a couple. That to me speaks volumes. Huge, HUGE life similarity. And it shows a commitment they've made, to the very least, giving this relationship a solid shot.

sosleepy wrote:

bblake wrote:^ their families wouldn't be on stage hugging each other like they've known each other all their lives if things were rocky, IMO.

I agree. Ben also definitely didn't have to re-propose. He doesn't seem like the type that would fake it like that if things were rocky.

A lot has been made about their "different" sleeping patterns. Small potatoes. You know a BIG similarity I saw? They both pray together daily, about and for each other as a couple. That to me speaks volumes. Huge, HUGE life similarity. And it shows a commitment they've made, to the very least, giving this relationship a solid shot.

  Thank you.

I also thought it spoke a lot of them as a couple, that Lauren said they dealt with all the issues with the show, handled them and decided to move forward. She doesn't seem to have any problem doing so, she won't hold it all against Ben. I saw no bitterness or need to shade him about it. They've moved on, and having to relive it stings a bit but it's not a big issue.

bleuberry wrote:Well we usually get a better idea of who these people are post show. Their edited personas are so one dimensional and don't allow for much variety.

I like what we saw of them last night. It's hard to predict their longevity solely based on the one night. People thought Andi and Josh were solid, and that some of the now success stories were for sure unhappy and uncomfortable with each other on ATFR.

They have a few things going for them that I personally love: they aren't big on SM. Aren't staying in LA. Aren't doing DWTS. And the families seem to be backing them. As the youngest couple to come out of this show, I think theyre handling everything well all things considered.

KB_Mom wrote:I found Ben's comment at end of AFR about having 10 more minutes to be "relevant" to be telling.  I think he is so over all the scrutiny and being in the media and can't wait to get back to      
Denver and settle into real life with Lauren.  I don't see him as having any interest in extending his 15 minutes of fame.  Will bode well for the couple IMO if after the required media rounds, they get back to Denver and real life.

Real life was so busy I skipped this season, but did record last night and watched all but the CH blather. My first observation, Ben was a selfish boy. The rule to not say ILY is there for a reason. I think the tired and slightly frazzled Ben was a man exhausted from watching his mistake all over again. It reminded me very much of Des and Chris. I was so against her letting Chris propose so soon after the Brooks debacle (even though it was the best proposal ever), but it worked because Chris was man enough to let the past be past and Des truly knew how lucky she was. I see that with Lauren and Ben. I think Ben knows he was an idiot (I also appreciate that he didn't degrade JoJo by taking it back or pretending it wasn't real). Lauren has accepted what Ben did and chose to love him and move forward. Would I have preferred he wait to propose to later than one day after telling another woman he loved her? Sure. Is Lauren okay with it? Sure, so in the end it doesn't really matter.

Just like Des and Chris, I see two people who are happy they found each other and ready to move on to real life out of the glare. The stressed out Ben can go and they can focus on each other.

I do think Lauren is more reserved on the PDA side and Ben is reacting to that. I saw that in their body language during the MTP and LCD. I still think Ben has a little bit of a feeling that he doesn't deserve Lauren and expects her to give up on him and having to live through his two stupid ILYs has not helped that.

I did like the families, but remember the joy of Jef's mom coming to meet Emily, so that was sweet but not the be all end all to me.

I think they have a real chance and seem much more mature and realistic than any couple I have seen since Des and Chris. But if they don't last it won't be the end of anyone's world.

Surprisingly, for someone who disliked JoJo pre-airing, she didn't bug me last night and I think I might enjoy watching the boys go wild for her and her hot little body that she has no problem showing off. All is JMO.

I just can't believe that Ben's pastor flew in for this charade put on by TPTB.

I think the pastor is kind of like family to Ben (I think he said that too?) and he wanted to be there to join the festivities, and maybe a family vacation to California helped .

Free trip to LA on TPTB, why the heck not? Bet he gets extra people in his church because of it.

Better prepared than to be sorry . At least the pastor could meet the Bushnell's. It's a win/win to me.

Mommyof1 wrote:I just can't believe that Ben's pastor flew in for this charade put on by TPTB.

Hopefully TPTB gave a nice donation to the church for his troubles.

So - the 3/4 Mesnick never happened, did it? Or did I miss it?

Mommyof1 wrote:I just can't believe that Ben's pastor flew in for this charade put on by TPTB.

I wonder if CM and CO. told each family member and the pastor that the couple was going to surprise everyone by getting married live on stage and used this ruse to get them all in attendance. 
Then I have to wonder if CM and CO. used this to make the couple believe that since they flew in both families and the pastor in for the ATFR that the couple would cave and get married on live tv. Using the excuse that all the important players were there. 
This way each party did not know the full story or be on the same page as the other, yet would feel pressure to perform the role TPTB were asking of them. TPTB used the element of shock and surprise and did not let Ben or Lauren realize family was there until the last minute. They seemed thrown off balance by the whole live marriage suggestion.
I am soooooo glad the couple did not fall for this idiotic manipulation and stood their ground. Ben looked like a deer in the headlights.