The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - Episode 9 - Discussion - #2 *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

bellehuntley wrote:I feel like 'Ben H' and 'Ben the Bachelor' are just two different people!

I agree, I think this process was hard for him and had him all screwed. I think midway if he could have left with Lauren he would have.

Fingersandtoes wrote:He's a tool. I hope JoJo is his F1 at this point because wtf are his love letters to JoJo in his blog if she's his F2? Does he not get that the show has 1 actual episode left to show, time to tone it down.

Love letter to both...still. How can either of them like that blog post? That's why I said I was hoping Ben didn't have anything to do with it.

Diana wrote:You do realize the F2 is always going to be the they want you to think F1 is?

Yep. I've watched 20 seasons of this crazy show    and somehow still love it. I fully admit that for me the editing usually works and I almost always feel more invested in the F2 or F3.  Only times I've been more invested and "seen it" with F1 were Jash and The Boothestowes, my 2 faves.  (Well from way back there were a few too like Trista, Andrew, Andy).

But TBH, I genuinely have liked Ben more with Jojo so editing tricks or not, that's the coupling I'm more invested in as a viewer. I'm not rooting against Lauren in anyway. She and Ben are nice together too. I just am more drawn to the other relationship, as per usual for me. And there is a lot there with Jojo this year, not just smoke and mirrors IMO.

Lost17 wrote:

Fingersandtoes wrote:He's a tool. I hope JoJo is his F1 at this point because wtf are his love letters to JoJo in his blog if she's his F2? Does he not get that the show has 1 actual episode left to show, time to tone it down.

Love letter to both...still. How can either of them like that blog post? That's why I said I was hoping Ben didn't have anything to do with it.

I guess he's still going episode by episode, like he has to. He's just taking it way too far IMO.

Kashathediva wrote:I think he will choose Lauren in the end.
I think the physical edit is with JoJo.
And more than anything, I think JoJo had a lot of scripted storyline this season and Ben was in on most of it. Does it mean they did not fall in deep "like" regardless, yeah, kind of like Matt Grant and Shayne. Many past cast have fallen in love with the leads throughout history only to stop working together and fizzle.
IMO Ben is a nice guy that is emotionally a 26 yr old boy. Put that in close proximity to smoking women and you are bound to ignite, ooze and combust.

I agree with a lot of what you're saying EXCEPT for the physical with JoJo part. To me, he has more of an emotional connection with JoJo than with Lauren. With Lauren I get this warm and fuzzy feeling....and BORING as hell once the initial attraction wears off. I guess I'm projecting.

With JoJo he can be himself, laugh, joke around, and hot attraction. That's rare to find! When all is said and done, and you're with someone for a while, LAUGHTER is very important to get you through the rough times. Plus I see their relationship as 50/50. I'm not getting that with Lauren. She's in control. Sure she caught the "I'm totally in love with Ben bug", but I always saw her as selling herself. NOT genuine, or something.... She's sweet and warm, but THAT may turn into boring. Once you find out all there is, the relationship fizzles.

My point is that BOTH of these girls come with a  set of problems, so which will he choose? JoJo-the family can be a thorn. Lauren-the sweet infatuation wanes as time goes by....

delete double post

Diana wrote:

see2love wrote:His blog basically confirms to me that he is a tool!

No more of a tool than Kaitlyn was... And she's still with her F1.

Kaitlyn's blog was always a lovefest for her now fiance. All that mess in the show she made up for by her lovefest to her F1 in her blogs; having been reading Ben's blogs but I hope it was an undercover ode to his chosen one which from reading this thread seems like it is not. Like I've said before after the show is when the real relationship starts and I hope whoever ends up with him thinks he is worth it.

Crazylady29 wrote:Well I would love for it to be Lauren but I would be happy if it's jojo that way Lauren can find someone better.

I agree. Lauren deserves better! His blog was just annoying- "I loved them both equally".. ewww! Here's one thing that I'm wondering what was going through his head at the time since editing tries to flip things around. Ben said, "After the date with Lauren, I had to see how I felt about Jojo and if I wasn't in love with her, I'd have to say good-bye.." WE know he saw Lauren last. I think he did these voice overs or spots post show because he had to make it match the way they would edit. The blog matches the edit and basically echoes what we heard last night. I'm not discounting his love for Jojo- I just can't see that he loved her that much. He is already saying he couldn't say good-bye to Lauren, he alluded to saying good-bye to Jojo.

I feel so bad for F1 (and F2, but more for F1 because she's ultimately the one who got stuck with him). He's being SO selfish right now.



He was elated on his GMA interview. If it was taped Saturday before WTA, then I wonder after Lauren saw the episode last night, he still can say with that much confidence that he is engaged.

I want to see the AFTR so badly to see if he can and did rectify himself. I do not want to watch another EMILY/BRAD (Ben keeps trying to cozy up to her and she is stiff in his arms) or Juan Pablo/Nikki tension filled interview, where Nikki was just taking Juan Pablo's crap and saying, no, it's okay . Lauren seems like a self-assured, confident woman...I hope she proves me right.

Ben's blog...pretty JoJo heavy...what is the consensus?

1) is it a bit of a ruse? (Do these have a lot of input from TPTB as ghost writers?)

2) or is it trying to prepare everyone for what's to come, or maybe an upset, seeing as though Lauren is the heavy fave by-and-large?

In that finale preview though, JoJo appears perhaps a little more confident, though hard to tell....and Lauren appears more doubtful......that is usually a predictor of an F1.

I hope when Ben's parents arrive, they lock the liquor cabinet. The boy needs detox to clear his head.

lexforlife wrote:

Diana wrote:

see2love wrote:His blog basically confirms to me that he is a tool!

No more of a tool than Kaitlyn was... And she's still with her F1.

Kaitlyn's blog was always a lovefest for her now fiance. All that mess in the show she made up for by her lovefest to her F1 in her blogs; having been reading Ben's blogs but I hope it was an undercover ode to his chosen one which from reading this thread seems like it is not. Like I've said before after the show is when the real relationship starts and I hope whoever ends up with him thinks he is worth it.

Maybe Ben has told Lauren everything (regarding his then feelings for Jojo) in the interim, she has accepted his explanation and they are doing great and very happy now, and therefore, he feels no need to continue to apologize and make it up to her in his blogs as some others have done?  Because she already gets it that he is over whatever he felt for Jojo in the moment and is secure in his feelings for HER NOW?  Just a thought.

IMO Ben has absolutely told Lauren everything. As we have seen, he isn't able to hold much, or anything in for that matter. The question for me is when. If Lauren is F1 I would hope he someone told her before the proposal. I know for me, I would hate to find out after the fact rather than before. If I found out before, I could understand more but still see that in the end I was the "chosen one". Lauren seems strong and very logical. I could see her being able to understand all the emotions Ben went through.

My biggest struggle with this show, and this season in particular is after the fact. So if he is telling the truth and he truly had strong feelings for both (I won't say love as I don't know if real love can come from the bubble until they are out of it) how do you build on a new relationship/engagement when you are still mourning the relationship you ended?