The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - Episode 9 - Discussion - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

It's possible that the graphic doesn't match the words, like he's not saying "ILY" at the exact moment this photo was taken, right?

But that "ILY, TOO" is a new one isn't ?

Hopefully Im wrong about that part, skeptical still

The way this cap looks and reads, could this ACTUALLY be the ILY moment to JoJo? Could the super emotional ILY actually go to Lauren after all?

I think he slipped and told JoJo ILY once. Then told Lauren ILY on repeat to try to make up for it. Haha. Maybe I'm grasping, but I don't think this scenario is outside the realm of possibility.

I think Ben is basically just a nice guy that hates to hurt feelings and he gets too emotionally involved in what other people are feeling and gets carried away in the situation. Do I think he really loved them both equally? Absolutely not... But I do think he cared a lot about all involved, especially as he'd already been rejected himself and knows how it felt. Saying I love you isnt going to help but like ai said I think he just got carried away in the moment and totally regretted it after.

Also funny, if the heartfelt ILY goes to Lauren, I'm thinking, man, he is soooooo in love. If it goes to JoJo, my thoughts shift to he was wasted, totally drunk!

Who knows if that's an exact quote and the correct pic to go with it. It's not like we can trust them to be truthful. We know that he's been seen saying ILY at least twice although I thought maybe there was a 3rd that doesn't look like this pic.

I don't know that we can say that the lead isn't supposed to tell the f2 he/she loves them. Their job is to lead them on in whatever form that takes. I can only imagine that Fleiss was ecstatic when Ben told Jojo he loved her because it ramps up the drama.

I know, we have our bias...we see what we want! It isn't until the end when we are vindicated and can circle back to these moments and say, I must have been off or I nailed it!!

northernviewer wrote:I think Ben is basically just a nice guy that hates to hurt feelings and he gets too emotionally involved in what other people are feeling and gets carried away in the situation.   Do I think he really loved them both equally? Absolutely not... But I do think he cared a lot about all involved, especially as he'd already been rejected himself and knows how it felt.   Saying I love you isnt going to help but like ai said I think he just got carried away in the moment and totally regretted it after.  

SPOT ON!

northernviewer wrote:I think Ben is basically just a nice guy that hates to hurt feelings and he gets too emotionally involved in what other people are feeling and gets carried away in the situation.   Do I think he really loved them both equally? Absolutely not... But I do think he cared a lot about all involved, especially as he'd already been rejected himself and knows how it felt.   Saying I love you isnt going to help but like ai said I think he just got carried away in the moment and totally regretted it after.  

I agree completely with this. He is fully aware of Jojo's reservations and to some extent Lauren's caution. He's a people pleaser. He's been trying to find ways to tell/show these two girls to open up to him, and I think when they finally do he becomes very vulnerable.

Agreed North. We know and can see how he feels about both. But true, it's not equal and he says as much in the Finale about loving one...more. I feel like I'm trying to put a sock in his mouth to prevent this mistake . This is his problem to work out and amend . I will be curious what made him love one more than the other . Jmo, families played a part. One was the corresponding complement, and the other the antithesis.

My 2 cents worth.  I like both Lauren and JoJo, and I can see how Lauren could be a woman who Ben could check off all the boxes on his list of things that he would want in a wife.  But, what if Lauren had not been one of the women there on the show? Ben might have fallen harder for JoJo, and we would have seen a very different HTD with her brothers. In that case, they most likely would not have been shown confronting Ben in such as harsh manner. Editing is always key to every story that the producers want to tell.

In other words, without Lauren in the mix, there could have been a different outcome.  There are no guarantees that any of these couples will make it work after the show ends, but I do think that Ben and Lauren stand a good chance, if what they have is more than just infatuation and not just Bachelor bubble love, since afterwards is when the real relationships begin.

But, at the same time, I don't discount that Ben had real feelings for JoJo either.

I'm just holding on to hope that he may tell JoJo he loves her but only tells Lauren that he's in love with her. To me, those are completely different things.