The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - Episode 9 - Discussion - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

All I'm saying is that nobody wants to be told that the guy you are in love with say that he was in love with you but that he is also in love with another girl. That would put so much doubt in my head when whenever I was with him.

Ben did say once you make the decision , you have to be confident with it. That's his approach . We knew already this was going to be close because he's very broken up at the FRC. Now we know why.

^^That 's the premise of the show though. Create doubt. Conflict. Girl fights. It makes for good ratings and great TV!

I was looking forward to seeing this episode and the finale but i don't think I can handle it.!

Crazylady29 wrote:All I'm saying is that nobody wants to be told that the guy you are in love with say that he was in love with you but that he is also in love with another girl. That would put so much doubt in my head when whenever I was with him.

This show is TB based on what TPTB have made it. It's not based on what the viewer wants.
I have to remind myself of this. I was reading posts yesterday and a lightbulb went off in my head(after 20 seasons!).
There are viewers that actually think this show is about a romance and then from their POV certain things should or should not be said or done. Novel thought for me. I could not understand why people are fixated on what happens under normal dating situations.
Because this is NOT what the show is about. IMO and from what the producers have said in past interviews this show came about as a dating experiment where the leads meets multiple women and eliminations are made up to the point one is left and hopefully an engagement, but ultimately according to MF himself a spontaneous wedding.
This is only normal if you consider immersing the relationship in a hallucinogenic drug, set up in total isolation, under speed dating circumstances. There is little sense of reality other than what the people in control choose to throw at you.
The people that sign up for this are not getting normal.

All I can say that Ben was one lucky dude.  He had a choice of these two..beautiful inside and out:

From Lauren's IG

From JoJo's IG

FYi, here is a pic from another recently renovated room at the Royal Plantation (same resort as Villa Plantana):




https://www.facebook.com/groups/1569768576571696/photos/

The pattern on those curtains isnt an exact match, but the fabric's thickness... just saying that they may be hiding the new look on some of the rooms and we are working with old stuff.

Crazylady29 wrote:I hope than Lauren runs far away from him since he doesn't seem ready to commit to one girl and she deserves better than that

This is a show about Ben dating multiple women. He wasn't supposed to commit to one woman. He didn't actually do anything wrong within the show. Yes, it can be painful for Lauren, but she signed up to date a guy who'd be dating many other women. If they continue to date after the FRC, then he's supposed to date only her. Jmo.

If a lead on this show tells you he is in love with you, while the cameras are rolling, you earned the right to be confident. This is something everyone knows that they are not "allowed" to say. Especially when you are all headed towards the finish line.

i guess I'm just projecting on what I would do.

AmyB wrote:

Crazylady29 wrote:Well if he told her he loved her on her lcd that i really lose respect for him since I believe by that time he knew how Lauren felt

It's not Lauren's season though? It's kind of the point of the show to have relationships building with multiple people and have the lead be torn between the F2. Ben's not even the first lead to say 'I love you' to both girls (Sean, Andy) and his relationship with JoJo isn't less valid than his one with Lauren just because he didn't pick her. The episodes haven't even aired yet. TPTB always make things out to be worse in promos than they actually end up being.

I agree.
I suspect a lot of viewers may be biased because of the spoiler ( it happens every season) and can't see the OTHER relationship. I don't like spoilers because they close the minds IMO.
I am not sure which one Ben is going to pick ( although I tend to think it could be Jojo) but I see a strong and genuine relationship with both. I can't blame him for being torn and yes, I believe you can be in love with 2 persons, especially in those conditions and for a short time.

The show isn't "Ben commits solely to Lauren while everyone else sits around and watches." The premise of this show is pretty ridiculous but the whole point is falling for multiple people. And, you know, that's the show Lauren signed up for. She didn't sign up to date a guy who was committing only to her. She was well aware that there were 27 other girls in the process and that the chances that he would fall for someone else were high.

And furthermore, I'm sure she and Ben have discussed it in the months since the overnights and FRC. And they would've broken up if there was a real issue about it, which I'm sure would've leaked somehow. Her brother even defended him on twitter about the fantasy suite question (he said Ben gave a really good answer but they edited it out) which he wouldn't have done if Lauren was having problems with Ben. 

This is a highly, highly edited TV show and TPTB would've been pushing Ben towards the narrative they wanted to portray by deliberately confusing him (eg, talking up JoJo, planting doubt about Lauren). The 'falling in love with two women' thing was probably storyboarded before the season started since they were well aware that Ben is a highly sensitive and easily manipulated guy and thus was easier to "direct" towards this "dramatic" narrative.