Marriage Boot Camp - Season 4 - *Sleuthing Spoilers* - Discussion

I also think it was a good idea for them to go on the show as long as they use the tools they gained to help them.

bleuberry wrote:There were some paparazzi pics floating around of her in a bikini a few months ago on vacation and I thought she looked fine. It probably wasn't easy to do though judging by some of her statements about body image. She does give off a super confident and sexy vibe on IG (and IIRC even posted one of her bikini pics). I forgot that she talked about her insecurities back when she did the Bachelor and not believing she had landed such a 'beefy' hunk.

Maybe this explains the nonstop workout photos, at least before she was pregnant. But honestly this sounds a bit overblown to me, like she had to come up with a fault. She doesn't come across as lacking confidence in her image IMO. I may certainly be wrong though. All I could think while watching this serious convo was what's with the bunny ears?

AllAboutLove wrote:
Just to add: one thing about Sean and needing to have a perfect image is that I almost feel like when he is admitting fault on his part, it is him doing so because that would be the "perfect" thing to do rather than him actually making real change. I guess time will tell with him but watching some of these clips Sean seems to immediately put on his "I need to watch my image" role more than anything else, imo.

AllAboutLove wrote:

bleuberry wrote:

Elisabeth & Jim essentially call them out for hiding their problems to keep up the perfect couple image.  

Honestly, I saw this with Sean as a contestant and then as lead. He made me think he was someone who wanted to project a certain perfect image. IMO, that to me is a sign of real issues and I can see Sean learning to be deceptive because of that and faking it with everyone except those who know him well but then they have the pressure put on them to keep up the perfect facade as well.

I think this also goes back to Cat saying to Sean they should do MBC because it may help them. I think Cat has been the one to want to be more open about her insecurities and failings and the pressure to be "perfect" comes from Sean. Maybe he was raised that way and it may have to do with his beliefs as well, but to me, Sean's problems far outweigh Cat's imo. At least she is willing to let her flaws show and speak of them. Sean seems to defend his faults more than anything else, imo.

Isn't that the norm? Most people only share their problems with those they are close to. I think some of what we are seeing is Sean's anger with Catherine for not respecting those boundaries. I realize they signed up for this show, but I bet they talked about what they would and would not reveal, much like the couple that is pregnant and Catherine seems to have gone waaaaaaaay off script. Ironically, one of his big fears is failure and doing this show was a big fail imo. They would probably benefit from seeing a therapist, but not on TV. jmo

I don't know that his anger is just from keeping up with their agreement, which I do believe was to say/do as little as possible and not 'open up.' They've alluded in the past to needing to learn how to fight, having pretty bad screaming matches, and barely making it out of their engagement period, etc. And even if that was the source of their problems in the house, that to me is a huge red flag on Sean's part. What does that say about him? That's not a good look IMO.

grace8136 wrote:

AllAboutLove wrote:

bleuberry wrote:

Elisabeth & Jim essentially call them out for hiding their problems to keep up the perfect couple image.  

Honestly, I saw this with Sean as a contestant and then as lead. He made me think he was someone who wanted to project a certain perfect image. IMO, that to me is a sign of real issues and I can see Sean learning to be deceptive because of that and faking it with everyone except those who know him well but then they have the pressure put on them to keep up the perfect facade as well.

I think this also goes back to Cat saying to Sean they should do MBC because it may help them. I think Cat has been the one to want to be more open about her insecurities and failings and the pressure to be "perfect" comes from Sean. Maybe he was raised that way and it may have to do with his beliefs as well, but to me, Sean's problems far outweigh Cat's imo. At least she is willing to let her flaws show and speak of them. Sean seems to defend his faults more than anything else, imo.

Isn't that the norm? Most people only share their problems with those they are close to. I think some of what we are seeing is Sean's anger with Catherine for not respecting those boundaries. I realize they signed up for this show, but I bet they talked about what they would and would not reveal, much like the couple that is pregnant and Catherine seems to have gone waaaaaaaay off script. Ironically, one of his big fears is failure and doing this show was a big fail imo. They would probably benefit from seeing a therapist, but not on TV.  jmo

The point is that Sean acts like he is not the norm (and I don't think his "I am perfect" facade is the norm either) and he acts like he is above everyone else and above the show and above his wife, and on and on, imo.

Sean can blame his wife all he wants but at least she is the one being honest. And I can't blame her if she wanted to go off script... I could only imagine how suffocating and stifling it must be to live with someone who is so rigid and has to be "perfect" and has to live by a "Script" so as not to go off it. Exhausting, imo, and a waste of one's life to live that way.

jmo

I love the therapists called them out for hiding their issues. It's what we were saying here last week. I think Catherine was much more open to that conversation than Sean was. He looked mad even during. The truth hurts at times,Es. Mi just really hope they learned from the experience and learn to better communicate and be themselves in the future.

As each episode is shown, viewers get a better understanding of why Sean did his best to make them believe he only did this for the money. Being labeled as a materialistic, money hungry famewh*** is preferable to what we actually see of him on his 7th reality show. IMO. Here is the exchange between SeanCat:

C:  You are so delusional!
S:  My wife is gone. This soulless person that doesn't give a sh** about anything is here.
C:  Oh o.k., I'm soulless. You started it!
S:  O.K. then, we both hate each other. I'll leave you alone and you leave me alone.
C:  That's the conclusion?
S:  You never have sympathy for me.
C:  But you don't understand me.
S:  Leave me the fu** alone. I'm tired. Why the fu** are you being a bit**?
C:  Are you doing this right now? Get out of here!
S:  Keep your voice down.
C:  Really? Me? You just threw sh**.

The next exercise was to confront your feelings of shame and the causes of your self-hatred to increase your self-worth. The first group was Catherine, Benzino, Sarah, Cedric and Mama June. The second group was Sean, Althea, Ink, Sundy and Sugar Bear. Each person wrote what they hate about themselves on large paddles. They stated what they hated about themselves and then hit a punching/heavy bag with the paddle. 

C: I hate that I have rage. I hate that I tried to hurt myself. I hate that I was called a pig. I hate that I   
    am jealous of other women.
S: I hate that I fear failure. I hate that I'm not always trusting. I hate that I lost a business.
 
The second part of the exercise brought all the couples back together. They faced each other and told their partner what they hated about themselves. They acknowledged how it affected their behavior toward their partner. They threw the paddles in the bonfire to "let go" of their self-hatred that sabotages their relationship.

I have even more respect than ever for the couples I would consider "Bachelor Royalty" - Ashley & JP and Des & Chris. They live their lives quietly, doing much the same as they did prior to their encounter with the Bach franchise. They put their love for each other and respect for their relationship ahead of easy money. IMO.

I probably shouldn't be surprised what any of these people are really like behind closed doors, but, umm, wow.

At the risk of repeating myself I am shocked that they have so little self control that they have this exchange WHEN THEY KNOW THEY ARE BEING RECORDED.  I wonder if they're also under the delusion that a baby will make everything better.  It doesn't, it magnifies a couple's differences, speaking personally and after decades of observation.  How are they going to handle different approaches to parenting, which will surely be the case (and is completely normal)?

I think from the way their voices were muffled, and them clearly hiding in the bathroom to fight, they probably ditched their mics and assumed no one would hear them. 'Keep your voice down.'

Well they sound like a functional couple. Good luck with that baby thing!