Marriage Boot Camp - Season 4 - *Sleuthing Spoilers* - Discussion

To understand this "fight" you have to watch the previous ep. to get the full picture.

Last week (the previous day), Cat was sticking up for Althea because Ink criticized her for hitting Zino and then Ink went after Cat. I think Cat did a good job dealing with Ink by herself but Judge Toler told Sean that he should have stood up for Cat. (I don't agree with the Judge).

This ep. was a difficult day for everyone. To talk about the trauma and then the exercise releasing it. Again, Ink started with Mama June and of course, Cat stepping in for her. Ink went after her again but this time Sean told him to stop. It wasn't enough for Cat so she walked out on Sean and refused to hear what he saying when he followed her.

This day was a long one, 16 hrs of filming, they didn't finish until 3:00 AM. No time with the Judge. Everyone was exhausted and I'm sure Sean just wanted to go to sleep but now Cat reminded him that he was wrong for not sticking up for her earlier.....then Sean walked out on her. This is the way they fighting on the previous epi. too, even in front of the camera. They didn't do anything different and Sean was honest about it in his book. Not like they hide anything behind closed door.

Most men walk away from the fight for them to calm down and think but most women don't understand that.
So now we just have to wait for next week to see how they resolve this.

When I first heard about Sean wanting to leave the show because it was not the right fit for them. I just knew that they would not get a good edit.

By reading Elizabeth's blog (too good to serve) and Sean's (why they stayed).  I think SeanCat's "job" was to share their faith with others in the house and to support them when needed. And to work on their own issues.

I think Sean did a great job doing that. He didn't judge anyone. He was there to support, not fight the battle for them but encouraging them to do that for themselves.

I think Cat went beyond that and fought for other people but neglecting her own needs. As a result, she felt drained (sucked dry) all the time and took it out on Sean for not fighting her battle for her when she fighting for others! LOL.  I hope they learned from this experience and keep growing in their relationship.

I don't know, I felt that Sean was pretty judgemental as he was ready to leave the second he realized that these people were different than him. He even favorited tweets about the cast was trashy and s/c were too classy for the show. 

And, there's nothing wrong with wanting to calm yourself down after a fight, but then say "I don't feel like I'm the right mind to discuss this. Can we get some rest and talk about this when we have both calmed down and are thinking more rationally?". Don't walk away, curse, and get drunk.  And, according to Sean himself, that kind of behavior happens commonly, not just after 16-hour filming days. All that does is make the other person feel disrespected and like their feelings don't matter. JMO.

If they told him their 'job' was to share their faith on the show, and he actually believed that, then he isn't very bright IMO. He can't possibly be that naive can he? Showing him dropping f bombs and storming off to get drunk isn't exactly in line with that.

Sean could stand to learn a few things - starting with not reaching for alcohol in moments of conflict. I hope he changes that behavior of his and soon. Jmo

bleuberry wrote:If they told him their 'job' was to share their faith on the show, and he actually believed that, then he isn't very bright IMO. He can't possibly be that naive can he? Showing him dropping f bombs and storming off to get drunk isn't exactly in line with that.

I agree, they were there as contestants needing help (albeit different than others, but all have different stories), not to share their faith.   I think they signed up for the money and to get on TV again thinking they didn't need any help.  And (hopefully, still TBD) learned through the process they have areas (more than they thought/realized) to work on as well.  I really think had they come into the house with a more open attitude they would have a better percepthe viewers and the other house guests.

I feel most for Catherine, she is the one who uprooted her life to move to Dallas to be with Sean, Sean really hasn't appeared to have given that many concessions in the marriage.

Well... Sean and Cat signed up for this. I did say in my earlier posts that I felt that doing the show was a mistake. Sean and Cat did this to themselves, they could have kept it cute by only doing appearances on the Bacherlor franchise where the are loved and got better editing instead of doing reality show, after reality show. They let people see the other side they won't like about them. I guess easy money come with a price. For them the adoration, high standard and love they used to get before these 2 reality shows from the public has changed.

nothatgirl wrote:I don't know, I felt that Sean was pretty judgemental as he was ready to leave the second he realized that these people were different than him. He even favorited tweets about the cast was trashy and s/c were too classy for the show.

And, there's nothing wrong with wanting to calm yourself down after a fight, but then say "I don't feel like I'm the right mind to discuss this. Can we get some rest and talk about this when we have both calmed down and are thinking more rationally?". Don't walk away, curse, and get drunk.  And, according to Sean himself, that kind of behavior happens commonly, not just after 16-hour filming days. All that does is make the other person feel disrespected and like their feelings don't matter. JMO.

Not suggesting he should add fuel to the fire by favoring tweets about the cast being trashy, but if Mama June isn't trashy, who is? There are pictures of her canoodling with the man who molested her daughter! I'd want to immediately leave too. Why is Mama June still on television after that? IMO, it was a terrible mistake for them to go on this show.

If I took a guess, I'd say that Catherine is struggling to find her way in this marriage. The expectations that Sean is putting on her or perhaps she is putting on herself, aren't working. She didn't grow up with with a "head of the household" man and probably never envisioned that for herself. They need to drop these "roles" and be true to who they are. She's a strong, independent woman who doesn't need Sean to rescue her. I remember during Sean's season, it was sleuthed that her last bf was a rapper who just struck me as the polar opposite of Sean. It's obvious they are trying, but it doesn't seem like a natural or easy match and thus the struggles. They can grow together out of it, but I hope that along the way, the insults and name calling don't do them in.   jmo.

Oh, trust me, I judge the heck out of everyone in general. But then, I don't write blogs about what a good Christian I am and how non-judgemental I am. It's just very hypocritical and lacking in self-awareness of him. 

Also, weirdly enough, it seemed like cat was most excited to see and became most friendly with mama June. Sean seemed way more judgemental about the threesome-having couple than the child molestor apologist, IMO.

nothatgirl wrote:Oh, trust me, I judge the heck out of everyone in general. But then, I don't write blogs about what a good Christian I am and how non-judgemental I am. It's just very hypocritical and lacking in self-awareness of him. 

Also, weirdly enough, it seemed like cat was most excited to see and became most friendly with mama June. Sean seemed way more judgemental about the threesome-having couple than the child molestor apologist, IMO.

Ok yes.. I see your point. I'm hoping that Catherine was unaware of the child molester stuff because otherwise, her excitement over Mama June is pretty gross. Well, it's gross anyway, but more gross if she knew. I'm going to assume she didn't know, although it was everywhere, so how could she not know?

Faith to Sean is not the same as religion. Sharing faith in the house is about God's perfect Love for everyone. God always loves us unconditionally, doesn't matter how many times we screw up. God never judges us.... .

When Sean 1st went into the House, he didn't expect "three-some" or cheating with family members etc. .
I think if this season was like Trista' --yelling and cursing or anything else, except the above, would not be a big deal to him and he would be OK with it. As he said on his blog, if he goes on the show like this, he doesn't want his young followers to watch these trashy things ...

IMO, due to the contract.., he couldn't leave even if he wanted to, so now they can edit whatever they want because he's stuck!

Judging the behaviours is not the same as judging people. In fact, Sean never criticized anyone when he was there, unlike Ink. He was mostly protective and supportive of the women there without bad-mouthing the men.

Being a Christian doesn't mean you can't have your opinions. Sometimes it's your job to stand up for others if you have a platform to do so. e.g. Greg Hardy's domestic violence. If that is being judgmental, I want people like him to judge more.

In a few interviews,  Cat said that Sean can't cope with loud noise and in the house, a lot of yelling and fighting all the time for 2 weeks straight.  

SeanCat are totally different people.  It's not his fault that he doesn't come from a dysfunctional family.  He doesn't speak the same "language" as Cat's who had a difficult childhood.

IMO, they have all the key ingredients for a good marriage-- commitment, love, sense of humour, fun... , they just have to learn how to communicate and to fight better.