The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

Ladybug82 wrote:

eversotrue wrote:All I'm saying CHRIS is saying it, BEN is saying it, the PROMO said it. Who else has to say it for it to be deemed true? LOL

It could be 100% fully true, partially true, slightly true or not true at all.  But just because they all say it and an edited promo says it does not mean its true, IMO.  If that's the direction this season is going and the way the story board is set, the promo, Ben and CH will all have to say, whether actually true or not.

That's where TPTB rely on the magic of story boards, manipulations, thousands of hours spent on editing (splice and dice, frankenbites), etc. to continue to produce the most dramatic RC and season you've ever seen season after season.  

The truth normally ends up finding a way to light, but normally down the road after filming and airing have ended and all have returned to some form of real life.

JMO.

Yeah I know. But it just seems fazed. I'm sure we'll be able to tell no matter what, based on perception of course.

eversotrue wrote:All I'm saying CHRIS is saying it, BEN is saying it, the PROMO said it. Who else has to say it for it to be deemed true? LOL

Yeah I agree, it's a storyline TPTB are going to milk, but it's a storyline because of the emotion and words Ben used during the final days.  I don't believe the emotions he showed were an act and that he was totally scripted to say "I love you" to two women.  I know TPTB manipulate and edit for max drama but I also tend to believe they base their story off what is actually happening, they just use edit tricks and manipulation to heighten it.

I really like Ben and Lauren and think he is a goner for her.  But I've really, really liked his scenes with Jojo too and I can see a lot there as well - both a friendship and chemistry.  I think this is a season where he knew who his number 1 was, but he had a number 2 he really cared for, had a lot of chemistry with and developed a bond with too and we're going to see his genuine anguish at having to hurt her, despite how much he wants to be with Lauren.  I don't think him falling head over heels for Lauren precludes him from also really bonding with Jojo and feeling confused at the end.

rhondam wrote:

Ladybug82 wrote:Thanks for the clarification on that Sophie and Nutty!  Now I don't have to bother to rewatch it!    

He could've told two women he loved pizza or Elan or traveling or just about anything one could think of! Just fill in the blank! TPTB love frankenbites!  

Ok, but how do you explain him saying the following on the LiveAfter show:

"I did, I did fall in love with two women during this. Going through it (or to it....he mumbles here), I didn't think I could, but I really tried to concentrate and make each relationship it's own. And you know, stay open to the process and as a result, this is where it's left us."

Personally, I dont discuss the fact he said he had fallen in love with 2 women.
I am saying I cannot yet believe 100% that he TOLD 2 women he loved them. Telling the camera, or even his parents, yes, that's the role, but I currently find too much frankensteining to believe he told both I love you.

Completely agree relaxing.

relaxing wrote:

eversotrue wrote:All I'm saying CHRIS is saying it, BEN is saying it, the PROMO said it. Who else has to say it for it to be deemed true? LOL

Yeah I agree, it's a storyline TPTB are going to milk, but it's a storyline because of the emotion and words Ben used during the final days.  I don't believe the emotions he showed were an act and that he was totally scripted to say "I love you" to two women.  I know TPTB manipulate and edit for max drama but I also tend to believe they base their story off what is actually happening, they just use edit tricks and manipulation to heighten it.

I really like Ben and Lauren and think he is a goner for her.  But I've really, really liked his scenes with Jojo too and I can see a lot there as well - both a friendship and chemistry.  I think this is a season where he knew who his number 1 was, but he had a number 2 he really cared for, had a lot of chemistry with and developed a bond with too and we're going to see his genuine anguish at having to hurt her, despite how much he wants to be with Lauren.  I don't think him falling head over heels for Lauren precludes him from also really bonding with Jojo and feeling confused at the end.

Agreed agreed.

julychild wrote:I know we all prefer to believe that the lead " fell in love" with only their F1, during the process. Personally, I've always felt that no one actually falls in love during filming. They develop really strong feelings, for some it's infatuation, which is why it can happen for more than the F1 only. At times the feelings for both finalists are matched and the final decision comes down to " who can I practically have a relationship with post show." All of that falling in love part happens after the show, as far as I'm concerned.

A simple like isn't enough!  

Infatuation, lust, like and maybe a slight bit of Stockholm syndrome or at least the ability to make fully thought out, good decisions without someone else telling you what to do or making the decisions for you, thrown in from being cut off from the real world for so long and anyone who could knock some sense back into them!  

I to think real feelings and working at a relationship come after.  I know SHV help progress the feelings, but always have felt like, you can really tell how the couple will do once the show finishes airing, they've completed media rounds and return to some form of real life. Although, the way they handle the AFTR and media rounds normally give big clues and glimpses into if the couple has real feelings and really have a shot at it, not just giving it a go for what opportunities that might come their way.  

JMO.

Falling in love isn't this huge deal to me anyway. It's just a bunch of romantic feelings mixed with chemistry/lust which 100% fades with time no matter what.

So I don't see the big deal if Ben did fall in love, didn't fall in love, or whatever. I don't for one second think that just because of the show/bubble one can't fall in love. One can fall in love in an instant, anytime, anyplace, anywhere.

It is meaningless to me anyway at the end of the day because falling or being in love never lasts. Now loving someone? That's a whole other thing and what lasting and healthy marriages need to have.

Being in love? People fall in and out of love every day but it's not enough to make for a healthy lasting relationship because those feelings always fade/ebb/flow so I don't see why it really matters that much anyway as it is no guarantee for happiness or a lifetime relationship.

Ohhhhhh I finally see what you are all saying: Just because he fell in bubble love with two women, doesn't mean he won't fall out of love with one (or both) sometime after filming wraps when he is released from the continual death grip TPTB had over his thoughts and actions.

AllAboutLove wrote:
Falling in love isn't this huge deal to me anyway. It's just a bunch of romantic feelings mixed with chemistry/lust which 100% fades with time no matter what.

So I don't see the big deal if Ben did fall in love, didn't fall in love, or whatever. I don't for one second think that just because of the show/bubble one can't fall in love. One can fall in love in an instant, anytime, anyplace, anywhere.

It is meaningless to me anyway at the end of the day because falling or being in love never lasts. Now loving someone? That's a whole other thing and what lasting and healthy marriages need to have.

Being in love? People fall in and out of love every day but it's not enough to make for a healthy lasting relationship because those feelings always fade/ebb/flow so I don't see why it really matters that much anyway as it is no guarantee for happiness or a lifetime relationship.

I agree. Falling in love is just some hormones causing a state of temporary insanity. It's nice and all and helps you overlook the person's faults until you're attached enough to be able deal with them, but it's hardly the be-all and end-all of a relationship. Even if Ben was in some sort of love with JoJo, I'm sure growing closer to Lauren made those feelings fade away pretty fast.

Falling in love to me is having those romantic and chemical feelings and putting on rose-colored glasses. Imo, whether in the bubble of the show or in real life, it's still rose-colored glasses and these fade with time. Even if Ben only fell for Lauren, that will fade for her anyway. It's just a stage of love and temporary.

Love on the other hand is a choice where respect, trust, and compassion are needed for a healthy relationship. It's way harder to experience that and most significantly, share that with someone else. Falling in love is the easy part... loving someone is the real deal and real work, IMO.

Very nice post AAL.^^^  And so true.  Particularly for any couple from this Franchise.

Maybe Ben and F1 should take the marriage test when they get out of the bubble as seen on NBC Today Show today.  

 The Marriage Test