Becca Tilly - Bachelor 20 - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

umngirl wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:Personally, I would like to think we all are special snowflakes. Some of us maybe melting, some more salty or sweet, some pristine, some jagged and some more symmetrical than others, but so what.

While I agree that we are all individuals and that's a good, it's sometimes annoying when it's made to seem that some are just extra special and deserves all these benefits/happiness/etc. while others deserve less because they are somehow not as special. 

I certainly agree and have made the same statement on several occasions. 

RammerJammer91 wrote:From what I was told, Ben didn’t think it was the best idea because how it could make Becca look, how the other girls could react, and he didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

IMO, he wasn't even close to as direct as RS claims that he was. Becca is no idiot and the Becca that I know would never go on the show if Ben was very blunt and told her, "look, I DO NOT want you (or any other returnee) to come on."

I hate to say this...but that should have been more than enough for Becca to know that he wasn't that into her. If he saw her as his future wife, he wouldn't have given a damn about what the other girls would think or how strangers would perceive it. He would have been flattered and excited that she was coming on the show for him, just like Kaitlyn was when Nick showed up.

If you read RS's Dr. Steve e-mails, he is VERY blunt and straightfoward about telling women the truth. He interprets wishy-washy or vague comments made by men for exactly what they mean, which is usually "he's just not that into you". I think that's what happened here. I think women have a tendency to make excuses, or think about alternative reasons why a guy said this or that, but in my experience 95% of the time, if a guy likes you, it'll be like a glaring neon sign.

(all imo)

RammerJammer91 wrote:From what I was told, Ben didn’t think it was the best idea because how it could make Becca look, how the other girls could react, and he didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

IMO, he wasn't even close to as direct as RS claims that he was. Becca is no idiot and the Becca that I know would never go on the show if Ben was very blunt and told her, "look, I DO NOT want you (or any other returnee) to come on."

I'm sorry but that is no excuse. If a man is telling you no...no matter how gently...you should listen. He does not want you. If he did, he would be going after you. He should not have to beat you over the head with it. She is a grown woman. Yes, she is a virgin, but surely she is not so lacking in common sense? Not to mention that over the years she must have done her fair share of turning guys down in a polite, gentle fashion. I know I have and I know of plenty of other women...and men...who have done the same. If it had been the other way around...Becca telling Ben...there would not be all these excuses for her behaviour. People would be all over Ben for not listening. She choose to ignore everything and everyone for whatever reasons she uses to justify her behaviour. At best she is naïve/silly and at worst, just as calculating as some of the less liked contestants.

Becca wants the attention and the opportunities that come from being on this show. I have no problem with that, but I do have a problem when she is already coming on this site and complaining that people are being mean, she is damned no matter what she does, she is more than the person she was edited to be, etc., etc. Guess what? That applies to everyone. I only see this getting worse and if she thought the mild concern and negativity she saw a few weeks ago was bad, she better put on her big girl panties and just spend the time the show is airing in bed, with the covers pulled over her head. I do not see this ending well.

BlackHalo wrote:I don't know what anyone would stand to gain giving RS and RJ this information if it's fake. There's nothing to foil unless Ben already knew Becca would be his choice before they started filming and this is a deliberate misdirection. (doubtful) 

I believe he didn't want any returnees on his season. It's a pride thing IMO.

However, there is a difference between saying: a) I don't want any returnees this season and b) I don't want Becca Tilley to return.
As far as the first is concerned, regardless of what Ben may have wanted, this is pretty much a given and Ben may not have had much choice in having no one return. In fact, I would doubt he would have any say other than to perhaps say, I would rather have X, Y and Z come back than A, B and C. 
This is how I see the situation. 
Ben may not have liked it, but it may have been the better of the two situations.

I just think Becca really likes Ben, bordering on desperate to have him. Whatever he said to discourage her, she rationalized it in her favor. Happens all the time. It makes me more curious as to how she is going to be with Ben compared to how she was with Chris.

BlackHalo wrote:I just think Becca really likes Ben, bordering on desperate to have him. Whatever he said to discourage her, she rationalized it her favor. Happens all the time. It makes me more curious as to how she is going to be with Ben compared to how she was with Chris.

I don't think it's bordering on desperate. She really likes him and he has a lot of qualities that she is looking for. Her standards are high (as they should be), and Ben is a great catch. She hasn't had a lot of luck finding a guy that meets those standards/has those qualities. Ben meets a lot of those and she wants to see if it can go anywhere. She is going to be an AMAZING wife and mother one day. Whoever ends up with her is going to be incredibly lucky.

RammerJammer91 wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:I just think Becca really likes Ben, bordering on desperate to have him. Whatever he said to discourage her, she rationalized it her favor. Happens all the time. It makes me more curious as to how she is going to be with Ben compared to how she was with Chris.

I don't think it's bordering on desperate. She really likes him and he has a lot of qualities that she is looking for. Her standards are high (as they should be), and Ben is a great catch. She hasn't had a lot of luck finding a guy that meets those standards/has those qualities. Ben meets a lot of those and she wants to see if it can go anywhere. She is going to be an AMAZING wife and mother one day. Whoever ends up with her is going to be incredibly lucky.

I'd say Jared exudes similar qualities but she stood him up?  The heart wants what it wants I guess.

BlackHalo wrote:

RammerJammer91 wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:I just think Becca really likes Ben, bordering on desperate to have him. Whatever he said to discourage her, she rationalized it her favor. Happens all the time. It makes me more curious as to how she is going to be with Ben compared to how she was with Chris.

I don't think it's bordering on desperate. She really likes him and he has a lot of qualities that she is looking for. Her standards are high (as they should be), and Ben is a great catch. She hasn't had a lot of luck finding a guy that meets those standards/has those qualities. Ben meets a lot of those and she wants to see if it can go anywhere. She is going to be an AMAZING wife and mother one day. Whoever ends up with her is going to be incredibly lucky.

I'd say Jared exudes similar qualities but she stood him up?  The heart wants what it wants I guess.

This all just screams immaturity to me and maybe that is the reason she is still single despite all her other good qualities. You can have high standards but you also have to be realistic. I'm not really seeing that.

Sprite wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:

RammerJammer91 wrote:

I don't think it's bordering on desperate. She really likes him and he has a lot of qualities that she is looking for. Her standards are high (as they should be), and Ben is a great catch. She hasn't had a lot of luck finding a guy that meets those standards/has those qualities. Ben meets a lot of those and she wants to see if it can go anywhere. She is going to be an AMAZING wife and mother one day. Whoever ends up with her is going to be incredibly lucky.

I'd say Jared exudes similar qualities but she stood him up?  The heart wants what it wants I guess.

This all just screams immaturity to me and maybe that is the reason she is still single despite all her other good qualities. You can have high standards but you also have to be realistic. I'm not really seeing that.

I think her standards are realistic.

Someone with a good heart
Someone who loves God
Someone who is loyal
Someone who is kind and will treat her right

She's also not looking for the wealthiest or most attractive guy. As I've said before, when it comes to guys, she's not materialistic and she cares more about one's heart/character than their looks because she believes that looks fade but your good heart will remain.

RammerJammer91 wrote:

Sprite wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:
I'd say Jared exudes similar qualities but she stood him up?  The heart wants what it wants I guess.

This all just screams immaturity to me and maybe that is the reason she is still single despite all her other good qualities. You can have high standards but you also have to be realistic. I'm not really seeing that.

I think her standards are realistic.

Someone with a good heart
Someone who loves God
Someone who is loyal
Someone who is kind and will treat her right

She's also not looking for the wealthiest or most attractive guy. As I've said before, when it comes to guys, she's not materialistic and she cares more about one's heart/character than their looks because she believes that looks fade but your good heart will remain.

RJ, I don't think anyone is disputing that Becca is a catch, deserves a great guy, and will be an amazing wife one day. It's the whole "she has high standards and Ben is the first guy she's known that's met them". First of all, she doesn't even KNOW Ben. She knows him from a TV edit and things she's heard from her friends. Second of all, there are a million guys out there that have those things you described. They might be as good looking and popular and famous as Ben, but they're definitely out there. The fact that she's never found a good enough to guy to date, beside Dez, makes me think she expects ALL that...plus good looks, wealthy, successful, and whatnot. Third, and probably most important, even if Ben really is the perfect match for her, if he doesn't think so, it just doesn't matter. She can't make him love her by forcing her way into his life. I mean, when has that ever worked?

(all imo)

Honestly, Becca can like Ben simply because he's hot. It doesn't matter to me. It just doesn't make sense why she would stand up a guy that has those qualities in favor of dating his friend.

BlackHalo wrote:Honestly, Becca can like Ben simply because he's hot. It doesn't matter to me. It just doesn't make sense why she would stand up a guy that has those qualities in favor of dating his friend.

Exactly!!! From what we have seen and been told about Jared he is just as good a guy as Ben. She had set up to meet up with him in person so clearly he had some interest in her. Why cancel that for Ben who you know is the Bachelor, has nicely told you not to come on the show, and who you will now have to compete for? It sounds to me as if she is setting herself up to fail. She wants us to see her heartache...woe is me. More like an audition for the next Bette...not that I think that is happening...but it may be what she was tempted with.