Becca Tilly - Bachelor 20 - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

RammerJammer91 wrote:Re-reading RS' column, I think it's VERY possible (and likely) that Ben didn't emphasize his point to the degree that he claims he did. RS comes off as if Ben was laying down the hammer.

And for the record, the e-mails I got never gave me the vibe that Ben went to great lengths to drill it in Becca's head to "stay away," "scram," etc. Not even close.

I want Becca to be happy. This might come off as really stupid/emotional, but she means so, so much to me and I (as well as many others) don't want to see her get hurt. Having her get hurt, idk how I would react. She is just such a good, genuine person. She gives far more than she receives and she's someone that you can always count on to be there for you when the times get hard. Sorry for the emotional rant.

I could see it that way RJ, hence why she still decided to go on the show.

I don't know Becca personally, but I can tell from her time on CS's season, she is a rare gem. I interacted with her on twitter a few times, and she seems like a total sweetheart! I'm looking forward to seeing her on my TV screen again! Btw, Ben reminds me of Peter Brady!

chasingpavements wrote:It will be really interesting to see what people are saying about Ben, come March. If he'll still be considered that super honest, genuine, kind person people think he is now or if people will start to get a perception of him as being a player who leads women on. Jason and Sean's season are the only two that I really remember, where the majority people went into them with really high hopes and expectations, and they both ended so differently. I'm interested to see how it all ends for Ben.

(all imo)

Ben F. too. I remember he was really really well-liked and had a great edit on Ashley's season, but he was a total trainwreck on his own season. So it's certainly possible that by the end people will say that Becca dodged a bullet (just like she did was Chris Soules, who was also touted as the "most genuine bachelor ever" and "truly interested in finding a wife" but ended up being, "dumber Bob Guiney.")

chasingpavements wrote:

Seabear wrote:Ben clearly has a powerful effect on some of these gals.  Becca and Tenley both are looking for that super special Christian man.  Tenley seems to still be pining for Ben.  I am cynical enough to think that her spur of the moment heal her heart vacation getaway to Denver/Vail was in someway connected to hoping Ben would hear about it and think of her.  I think Becca is a nice gal filled with high hopes.  She just may not be the most realistic when it comes to matters of the heart.  

I am looking forward to Ben's season particularly because we know so little of the actual facts so far.  I hope we can all have fun figuring things out the way it used to be before all the spoilers.  Sleuthing at its best.  This forum is full of armchair detectives and has some incredible superstar sleuthers too.  Happy times for all.     JMO

He really does. Has any other Bachelor been able to make two girls go completely crazy for him before filming even began? Good thing Cassandra had BIP/Jonathan to distract her from his magic, or else we might have had a third returnee. It's definitely going to make for a dramatic season.

It will be really interesting to see what people are saying about Ben, come March. If he'll still be considered that super honest, genuine, kind person people think he is now or if people will start to get a perception of him as being a player who leads women on. Jason and Sean's season are the only two that I really remember, where the majority people went into them with really high hopes and expectations, and they both ended so differently. I'm interested to see how it all ends for Ben.

(all imo)

Why would people think of him as a player that leads people on?? It seems like he tried to be pretty straight forward with these women, without hurting their feelings of course. And from what it sounds like, all the women he talked to pre Bachelor contacted him FIRST.

Wow. You go to one Thanksgiving dinner and miss so much.

I was trying to catch up to all the posts since RS posted his column and was going to multi quote but I ended up quoting so much I would have been posting for a couple of pages. So many good posts.

I appreciate all info and believe some, don't believe some and some I just put on the back burner to be looked at later when further info is available. Hopefully, we eventually sleuth out the proof...one way or the other. Rarely do I wear those pesky rose coloured glasses.

I guess, for me, the biggest indications that the info that RJ and RS shared is the probably the truth is that Becca herself contacted production and that she came on here to defend herself.

The fact that she initiated contact with producers kind of nulls the idea that they somehow forced her based on her contract. She wanted to go there. According to RJ she also contacted Ben. And she initiated with Jared. Maybe she was being nice. Maybe she was crushing. Whatever. She liked both, but dumped one...however nicely...when the opportunity arose to be on the show.

Based on what we know of Ben, I would guess he was polite...even if not interested. He may not have said "I have no interest in you. Don't come on the show." He probably was more PC and told her it was not a good idea. I would assume that it went the same way with Tenley. One got the hint and listened. One didn't. The producers may have played a part in that, encouraging her, however, if her own family was discouraging her, Ben was discouraging her and having previously done the show and having seen how she and other cast members were played by tptb, she would be incredibly naïve/stupid to believe them...or have other motives for going on the show. (If those motives were thinking she could change Ben's mind, then she is even more silly and immature than I already think she is and clearly not ready for marriage.)

Becca came on here to defend herself when she got wind of the negativity coming her way. She knew it was coming and despite the advice of her family went anyway. Despite Ben's discouragement. Despite the fact that she protested last year that the pace of the show was not conductive for her to fall in love. Despite the fact that neither she nor her family appreciated their edits. (Which in itself is ridiculous to me since they were practically treated with kid gloves compared to many.) Despite the fact that she was crushing on both Ben and Jared and dumped Jared to go on the show. She may have lasted this long, but I really doubt that was Ben's choosing...just like I doubt the dumb wedding date was his choice...or his date for said wedding date. Yes, I guess there is a chance that Ben could change his mind...a very, very slim chance...but, I highly doubt it. He seems like a man with a good head on his shoulders...although I'm sure I will question that at some point during the show. He seems ready for marriage and a family and Becca on the other hand is coming across as more and more immature the more I see and learn about her. If she was unhappy after last season with how she came looking out of this, I suspect she will be even more unhappy after this one and she will have no one to blame but herself.

Tenley's situation was a bit different than Becca's. She spent an entire weekend with Ben in Denver. The fact that he had spent that time with her and was fully aware that she was basically in love with him and still chose to do the Bachelor anyway was very telling. Add to that the fact that she has been on 3 Bachelor-related shows, including the very recent BIP, I don't think returning to square one where she was 6 years ago was an option for her.

loveactually9 wrote:Tenley's situation was a bit different than Becca's. She spent an entire weekend with Ben in Denver. The fact that he had spent that time with her and was fully aware that she was basically in love with him and still chose to do the Bachelor anyway was very telling. Add to that the fact that she has been on 3 Bachelor-related shows, including the very recent BIP, I don't think returning to square one where she was 6 years ago was an option for her.

Yes, Tenley's situation was slightly different in that she had done several other shows and that may have been a factor in her decision as well. I can't remember what she and Ben did in Denver or how much time they actually spent together. Where they alone or with a group of people? Either way, Ben was probably as polite with Tenley as he was with Becca. Obviously Tenley has more experience with dating/marriage/relationships, so I think she may have seen things more clearly and talking with Ben in person would have probably made it easier for her to understand what he was saying or hinting. The fact that he still decided to be the Bachelor, well clearly, he was not that into her. I doubt she liked realising that, but realise it she did. Becca didn't, but I don't think she really wanted to for whatever reason. To me it just highlights the fact that Becca is still very immature when it comes to relationships.

This is what I have to say with the whole Tenley situation. I don't think they actually dated or anything. We only have photographic evidence of them hanging out twice and they went to brunch and all three times they were in a group. With JJ all three times. And some other people joined them at brunch and on the other outings. Now Tenley and JJ hang out together all the time and there aren't any rumors of them dating, so I don't understand why two pictures all of a sudden means Ben and Tenley are in love and whatnot.

And as far as Becca goes, I think it was pretty mean to stand Jared up. Especially when she was in LA like two weeks after they were supposed to meet up. And from I had read somewhere on the internet (sorry I don't have a specific article, possible RS though) she just didn't show up, which makes me think she didn't even let him know she wouldn't be there.

There's my

Ben and Tenley are clearly not in love because he is doing the Bachelor. She had/still has very strong feelings for him going back to when they first met at the Men Tell All. I watched her Periscopes this summer and she would always blush and get giddy when people brought him up, even saying a couple of times that she didn't want him to be The Bachelor. I don't know how much alone time they spent that weekend but they were together at least a couple of times without JJ (including the block party). Not to mention a couple of weeks ago when she went back to Denver she spent time with his friend's girlfriend who she only met through him. She has also been very melancholic ever since that weekend talking about only "wanting to do things god's way" and how she wants to be pursued and not have a guy make her run around. As for JJ, well she always shuts that one down fast on social media, commenting to everyone that they are just friends. Heck she made an entire periscope during her Denver trip dedicated to how she and JJ are just friends and she doesn't want "a potential boyfriend" to get the wrong idea and for JJ to get credit for being her boyfriend when he's not. And she never even tried to shut down rumors of her and Ben H.

On the other hand, Becca was always very well aware and not in denial with the fact that Ben was going to be the Bachelor.

God I'm exhausted with myself

Block Party? When and where was this? I did see on her snapchat that she visited Colorado, and you are right, she never shut down rumors of her and Ben, but doesn't even let anyone get the wrong idea about JJ. She did mention in a recent Periscope if she was dating anyone, she wouldn't post pictures of them together and everyone would know they are dating. I wasn't quite sure how to take that though.

loveactually9 wrote:Ben and Tenley are clearly not in love because he is doing the Bachelor. She had/still has very strong feelings for him going back to when they first met at the Men Tell All. I watched her Periscopes this summer and she would always blush and get giddy when people brought him up, even saying a couple of times that she didn't want him to be The Bachelor. I don't know how much alone time they spent that weekend but they were together at least a couple of times without JJ (including the block party). Not to mention a couple of weeks ago when she went back to Denver she spent time with his friend's girlfriend who she only met through him. She has also been very melancholic ever since that weekend talking about only "wanting to do things god's way" and how she wants to be pursued and not have a guy make her run around. As for JJ, well she always shuts that one down fast on social media, commenting to everyone that they are just friends. Heck she made an entire periscope during her Denver trip dedicated to how she and JJ are just friends and she doesn't want "a potential boyfriend" to get the wrong idea and for JJ to get credit for being her boyfriend when he's not. And she never even tried to shut down rumors of her and Ben H.

On the other hand, Becca was always very well aware and not in denial with the fact that Ben was going to be the Bachelor.

God I'm exhausted with myself

ITA       Tenley is still pining for Ben in a big way.   JMO

They posted pics from the same block party on the same day from that weekend back in July when she was in Denver. I don't want to hijack Becca's thread so my main point (or one of them) is that I wouldn't give Tenley too much credit for being able to take a hint. Becca and Tenley are both pining over the same guy but they were in different situations. If Tenley were to go on her fourth show for a guy that turned her down to be The Bachelor, she would've been an absolute joke. Becca was also open about her crush with him, but not in a way where she was in denial about him possibly being The Bachelor and moped around when he was officially announced.