Bachelor Australia - Season 3 - Heather Maltman

Sam has already said he feels like he knows Heather forever. So they are leap years ahead in that regard (Sam even admitted he doesn't know much about Snez).

With Matilda? Her insecurity happened after her kiss. Same as with Heather.

I think that regardless of whether this kiss was on the 4th or 12th episode it was the kiss that changed the "bit billy big balls" Matilda who cracked jokes to becoming increasingly more insecure because she was out of the friendzone.

And that is why I say similar to Heather because both Matilda and Heather had friendzone edits until their kiss after which they became self-doubting and insecure (Matilda to the point she thought she was going home).

What makes it even harder for Heather is that her insecurities are showing up earlier than Matilda's because her kiss happened earlier, and add to that intruders are coming and filming is longer. It will be a miracle, imo, if Heather doesn't collapse into a ball of vulnerability by the end of this thing.

I personally thought that last night Heather got "friendlier" than ever before. I actually thought that before even though she kept calling him dude, there was more chemistry between them.

Meanwhile last night there were a few instances where I thought that she is heading towards the friendzone. For example: her thanking him for the chat, him responding that she should be more confident because "she's a great girl", the peck on the cheek, Sam's lack of try to even answer the question whether what they have is less strong when he is around other women (he basically just shrugged off his shoulders) etc. There were many occasions where I kept thinking they are just heading toward friendzone (this time for real).

That's why I said Heather needs to "step it up", not to impress Sam but to prove to herself and to their relationship that there is more than just emotional connection.

IA that she got friendlier but still nothing happened so I don't think Heather stepping it up will change anything with Sam. He seems like the kind of guy that once he makes his mind up, no one is convincing him otherwise.

I am of the mind that Sam wants to feel "fire" so much where he is overwhelmed with desire. It is off-putting to me how he treated Snez like that, imo. If she hadn't said she was a mom, her edit is making her seem like she and Sam just has this physical thing and it bothers me how Sam just brushed aside "other than talking about Eve your daughter I don't really know you but let's make out" (where's the getting to know Eve's mom?!).

With Heather, it is what is coming from Sam that concerns me, not what's coming from Heather.
Her actions are fighting for him (bobbing apples) and I believe her insecurities are because Sam is not wanting to stick his tongue down her throat -- which is what I think Heather wants him to do and Sam initiate just as Sam initiates it with Snez. So to me, if they head to the friendzone, it's because that's where Sam sees Heather, not where Heather sees Sam, imo.

I think Heather definitely friendzones him too. I get it that he wants to make out with Snez all the time and that may be because of the 'way she does sexy' and her obvious sex appeal, but Heather definitely definitely friendzones him too.

She called him 'man' even after they agreed not to. Also, last episode for example she poured out a lot of her insecurities to him. Although those insecurities should be voiced, they wouldn't necessarily make me want to make out with somebody. "Oh you think you are a hindrance in peoples' lives? Let's make out". No! Just no, Heather. Too early. She's an awesome, confident chick but lately she's not showing her confident, sexy side.

I think if I was in Sam's position I would also feel like going for a peck on the cheek after that conversation.

AllAboutLove wrote:I believe her insecurities are because Sam is not wanting to stick his tongue down her throat -- which is what I think Heather wants him to do and Sam initiate just as Sam initiates it with Snez.

I agree. Heather has massive insecurities that she's not "sexy" enough for Sam in comparison to the other girls like Snez and Emily. She said as much in episode 5. That makes it difficult because while it's easy for us to sit there and say "step up the sexy" the insecurities would probably be telling her that she can't even play that game in comparison to Snez and Emily who just ooze sex appeal. Heather also just seems to get Sam completely so I'm sure she's picked up on the fact that he priorities the physical which I'm sure again would breed the insecurity knowing she doesn't have that blatant obvious sex appeal.

Just to clarify, I am not suggesting that Heather gets implants and stars putting on lots of make-up like Emily or Snez. They are a different kind of sexy and she doesn't need to act like that to be sexy.

I think Heather has her own quirky way of being sexy, which clearly Sam was attracted to. Unfortunately, when one loses confidence sex appeal goes away with it.

Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting fire like Sam wants. Physical connection can be cultivated unlike mental or emotional, and that's why I want to see Heather try a little harder with being more romantic vs. friendly with him.

EmmK wrote:Just to clarify, I am not suggesting that Heather gets implants and stars putting on lots of make-up like Emily or Snez. They are a different kind of sexy and she doesn't need to act like that to be sexy.

I think Heather has her own quirky way of being sexy, which clearly Sam was attracted to. Unfortunately, when one loses confidence sex appeal goes away with it.

Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting fire like Sam wants. Physical connection can be cultivated unlike mental or emotional, and that's why I want to see Heather try a little harder with being more romantic vs. friendly with him.

Oh no, I understood what you meant...I'm not talking about makeup or implants or anything like that either.

From episode 5 I just think that Heather has picked up on the fact that sex appeal in the classic sense is what gets Sam going (and I tend to agree with her given his own words and actions) and I can understand completely why that would make her insecure given she doesn't have that. Yes she is sexy in her own way, but she doesn't seem to think she's Sam's type sexually (which may or may not be true).

I agree that when she's confident she's much sexier however it's difficult for me to say she just needs to get over it and go for it when Sam is showing everyone that the thing that gets him going (at the moment anyway) is what she doesn't have (or at least she doesn't think she has it). That would just keep breeding more of the worry.

FTR I dont have a problem with Sam wanting fire either. I do however have a problem with him implying that's all he needs at the moment to Snez when there's a child at play.

lozzatron wrote:

AllAboutLove wrote:I believe her insecurities are because Sam is not wanting to stick his tongue down her throat -- which is what I think Heather wants him to do and Sam initiate just as Sam initiates it with Snez.

I agree. Heather has massive insecurities that she's not "sexy" enough for Sam in comparison to the other girls like Snez and Emily. She said as much in episode 5. That makes it difficult because while it's easy for us to sit there and say "step up the sexy" the insecurities would probably be telling her that she can't even play that game in comparison to Snez and Emily who just ooze sex appeal. Heather also just seems to get Sam completely so I'm sure she's picked up on the fact that he priorities the physical which I'm sure again would breed the insecurity knowing she doesn't have that blatant obvious sex appeal.

It certainly plays into Heather's edit where she is touted as "an unlikely contender". Because she is not sexy, she is beautiful but moreso she is awkward, smart, fun, a tomboy who can be girly at times.

I thought the cutest moment from the last episode was when Sam was bummed Heather lost the cute pigtails. The fact that he even paid attention to that, especially when she had them on like 5 minutes, tells me he's very attracted her.

I was also a bit put off by his lusting after Snez so openly, like that's all that matters and the rest can come later. Yeah, I get that physical attraction is important, but it was just a bit OTT. Maybe he was drunk. But if he's the kind of guy who's attracted to fake boobs rather than a natural beauty like Heather, then he's not worthy of her anyway IMO. I find Heather gorgeous. I wish she had kept her natural hair colour after the show as well, because it suits her perfectly.

^ I loved that moment.
It's those tender moments between Sam and Heather that I adore.
Moments Sam only has with Heather.
I call him Soft Sam because he is soft (voice and manner, gentler) around Heather and Hard Sam (aggressive, macho) around Snez.

But it is Soft Sam who seems to be cherishing Heather and recognizing she is a treasure.

ETA: I just realized how those terms can be see as innuendo. Sorry about that.

mindless wrote:I thought the cutest moment from the last episode was when Sam was bummed Heather lost the cute pigtails. The fact that he even paid attention to that, especially when she had them on like 5 minutes, tells me he's very attracted her.

I was also a bit put off by his lusting after Snez so openly, like that's all that matters and the rest can come later. Yeah, I get that physical attraction is important, but it was just a bit OTT. Maybe he was drunk. But if he's the kind of guy who's attracted to fake boobs rather than a natural beauty like Heather, then he's not worthy of her anyway IMO. I find Heather gorgeous. I wish she had kept her natural hair colour after the show as well, because it suits her perfectly.

Yes! I loved that moment as well but my favourite bit was when Heather said that she was pleased that she had won the bobbing apple competition and got to spend one on one time with him and Sam responded "maybe that wasn't the prize - but when you won I just decided to make it the prize."

I wonder if that was true?

^^I wonder that as well. Usually they are told the prize is special 1-on-1 time with bachie.