Kaitlyn Bristowe - Bachelorette 11 - #5 - Discussion

[lipsis]

Previous Threads Here

[GuardianAngel]

Too many good posts.

@Alanna I was totally thinking of Kevin/Kaitlyn as a possibility when he did her podcast! I think he's single-ish.

@GuardianAngel I think his hesitations just come from his parents' divorce, from what he's said in old podcasts. He's only had one other relationship and it lasted 7 years. Wouldn't be surprised if it ended because Shawn wouldn't marry her either. I really don't think it has anything to do with Kaitlyn, as he always expresses shock and confusion in interviews when he hears that people think they're having issues. I'm with you, though, I'd totally leave after 2 years if a guy still hadn't proposed (or re-proposed!). Guess the whole begging/ultimatum/fake breakup thing worked for Jilly and Melissa though, so maybe there's hope! IMO.

Shawn had a 7-year relationship that went nowhere before the show, so at this point I tend to think that's just what he does. I'm no fan of Kaitlyn, but she didn't hide who she was on the show and Shawn was loving it then, so I'm not sure I can blame her for his loss of interest. JMO.

IMO a man can't drag a woman along for any amount of time if the woman doesn't let herself be drugged (dragged?). You get my point.

IMO, regardless of the real situation between them, and I think it’s more than a couple issues, the bottom line is he is not ready.  
So, if K is not able to deal with that then she needs to put on big girl panties and move on.
I know personally, I would never want to marry someone that wasn’t all in. Really what gal wants that?

I just think regardless of your feelings towards Kait, I don't see how this situation is in any way her fault. Shawn's the one that changed. Kaitlyn's still as obsessively in love with him as she always was but he doesn't act the same with her that he used to (at least from what I've seen). He used to dote on her and was super romantic and would do little things all the time to make her feel special and again from what I've seen those things no longer happen. Shawn's the one who went on the show and made all these professions, including asking her to marry him. Kaitlyn's never made her desire to get married and have a family a secret and in terms of things Shawn's said, he used to be right there with her. Now it's years later, she's 33, and I think she just feels stuck. Their relationship isn't moving forward, in fact I think she's said she feels like they're moving backwards. She's not wrong to want more, because that's what he promised her. This doesn't make Shawn a bad guy but I think he's taken her for granted lately.

Also this speculation is happening on multiple different platforms and something I keep seeing is people throwing Shawn's burgeoning career (bc of his gym) in Kait's face as if he's moving forward and she's doing nothing with her life which I find completely unfair. She has TWO podcasts, her scrunchie line, last year she was travelling to Canada every week to do bachcan aftershows, & I saw somewhere that she has a wine brand coming out at some point, like she's got things going on too. Plus where would Shawn be without Kait. City Strong is kinda the launching point for his gym and Kait was a huge part of that. Shawn was not exactly a Peter Kraus after his season. He wasn't very popular or well liked, and he doesn't have a very outgoing personality. But Kait was there at all of his events, promoting with him, dj-ing, making the workouts fun, at one point she was the draw. He's obviously very hardworking but lets not forget the impact being Kait's F1 has had on his career.

All jmo.

@ReneeM perfectly said!!! Ugh girl you’re so awesome!!

@ReneeM 10000%. It's like when a man finds success and 2 seconds later leaves the woman who was there all along after she helped make his dreams a reality. Kinda shiitty and I'm trying not to hate on Shawn but I'm annoyed .

Maybe they’ve both changed in ways that don’t make them as compatible as they once were. It takes 2 people to have a relationship and if they break they both will have some fault. JMO

I guess I'm in the minority. If after a year maybe two, and no wedding, it would be see ya. I wouldn't let it drag if it was that important to me, she has allowed it to brew to this point IMO. IDK He obviously has hesitations, I'd like to know why. One thing is for sure, I wouldn't be crying the blues on SM. I find that incredibly tacky IMHO.

Interesting conversations.

I'm with you @GuardianAngel. It's all very well blaming/shaming him, but meanwhile she is taking no responsibility for any of it. She is needy and wants constant attention. Hate to tell you toots, but you are not going to get that from anyone and if you think the romance three years on will be just as exciting as it was when you first met...You are seriously delusional!

When he proposed, they barely knew one another and I'm sure these last three years have been eye opening....for both of them. She probably realized that his fear of marriage may be stronger than she thought and he probably realized just how much constant reassurance she needs. I won't even get into the drinking.

I don't blame guys for stringing some women along. The women also need to take responsibility. If this is what you want, stand up for yourself and if he doesn't want the same move on. Yes, it is hard, but otherwise you are probably going to be wasting years on some dude that will never be what you need. I've seen strong women twist themselves into pretzels to become something they are not because they want some guy...and then they are shocked that it doesn't work out.

If Kaitlyn wants marriage that bad then tell him to sh*t or get off the pot and walk if he doesn't.  A friend of mine did that a several years ago. They were living together for a few years and she wanted to get married and he kept stalling. She got tired of going around in circles so she moved out. She was a crying mess. He was calling, but she refused to even talk to him since she thought she would crack and then the whole cycle would start again. Two weeks later, there he was with the ring. The got married a few months later.

IMO a man can't drag a woman along for any amount of time if the woman doesn't let herself be drugged (dragged?). You get my point.

That's what I was trying to say.

IA K has a lot going for her, she too has many projects on the go and I certainly give her credit for that. She has always supported him. Watching Ironman live, and her greeting him at the finish line brought tears to my eyes.

IMO if Shawn is acting different towards her, there is obviously a reason. Feeling's don't turn off overnight. Something has happened and I don't personally think it's the gym or any other work related project. That's the only reason my opinion is it has to do with K and maybe her pressure to get married.

Maybe a break would do them both a world of good.

ETA: @Sprite, I totally agree with you.

[aviej]

@ReneeM Didn't know she had two podcasts. What is the second one apart from Off the Vine?

Also can someone tell me what month/year they bought a house together? Because to me if you are experiencing troubles in a relationship you don't go off and buy a house together. So I am thinking that the demise started sometime thereafter.

[Kashathediva]

That’s the thing with real life relationships. Regardless of where either of these two people were 3 yrs ago, like most of us things change. Without, being actually involved none of will ever know and it doesn’t matter because if a relationship is going to last there is always going to be sacrifices, compromises and give/takes. Sometimes couples weather it. Sometimes they don’t. It depends on personalities and issues. Sometimes those compromising harbor resentments and can move on. Sometimes they can’t. Sometimes it’s mainly the same one compromising. IMO neither one is the bad guy or the good guy. It’s what it is. Jmo

[lipsis]

@aviej I believe they bought their house last July.

[ReneeM]

@aviej Grape therapy.

[sosleepy]

I’m just now catching up. I’m with you girls... I feel for Kaitlyn here. This sucks. 

I’m simultaneously not surprised at all, cause I’ve seen it coming, but also very surprised that it seems to be unraveling so fast. I kinda thought they’d just hang in limbo for a few more years or something. But also, idk. To me, Kaitlyn still seems as obsessed with Shawn as ever, but Shawn doesn’t have the same sparkle or excitement about Kaitlyn like he used to have. Sigh. I am sorry to the fans if this truly is unraveling. That sucks. And this one has been a 3 year ride, not your typical few month Bachelor coupledom situation, so it sucks to get invested.

[Linds911]

@aviej Grape Therapy is the other podcast where she recaps bach/ette seasons and happenings. Also this is their 2nd place they've lived in. They started renting last year and then recently bought it cause they loved it so much. Doubt the house is causing problems since they recently redid their bedroom and she made a podcast room.

Well if they do break up then at least I'm prepared this time

[Mella13]

why do we think they will break up? What am I missing?

[aviej]

Thanks @lipsis, @ReneeM and @Linds911 for the info. I didn't mean that the house is causing problems. I wanted to know the timeline for the house because at that time (last July) things were good. You wouldn't go buy a house with a partner if your relationship is good. So at that point last year, things were still relatively good apparently. And then for her birthday in June too as was mentioned Shawn went all out. So I am just trying to pinpoint the time period when things started to go all wrong.

[Alanna]

I’m just now catching up. I’m with you girls... I feel for Kaitlyn here. This sucks. 

I’m simultaneously not surprised at all, cause I’ve seen it coming, but also very surprised that it seems to be unraveling so fast. I kinda thought they’d just hang in limbo for a few more years or something. But also, idk. To me, Kaitlyn still seems as obsessed with Shawn as ever, but Shawn doesn’t have the same sparkle or excitement about Kaitlyn like he used to have. Sigh. I am sorry to the fans if this truly is unraveling. That sucks. And this one has been a 3 year ride, not your typical few month Bachelor coupledom situation, so it sucks to get invested.

I know. Really super duper inconsiderate to me (fan)!!  I’m so unhappy with this right now. Hrmphh.

I do think they’ll continue to be in limbo for some time longer though because this is how Kaitlyn is: blows hot and cold. Plus, like you said, she seems as obsessed as ever and Shawn is loyal and probably fine with their current arrangement. So essentially I don’t see Shawn packing up his stuff and just leaving over this, so I think it’ll be on Kait to pull the plug and I don’t think she’s there yet. She’ll need continue her psychological warfare campaign on him a bit longer before it’s all going to be truly over imo. And he might change his mind too, idk how likely it is but it’s possible.

If this is the beginning of the end, I’m (fan, if you’ve forgotten, whose opinion is verrry important to them ) is just happy this was a real relationship and they gave it their all. I don’t know how you just fall out of love with your family but okay, at least he/they tried.

And @aviej I don’t think anything can be pinpointed. If she wants to get married and he doesn’t then it was probably just a festering point all along.

[Chgohighlife]

JMO When a man is practically loving you to death and you are his everything mainly because he has nothing else and this is true through a year ago when you purchased and began redoing your house together and then you finally help him achieve his career goal and he has his own business and all of a sudden he doesn’t want to get married and he has a whole list of grievances where there used to be worship —— that spells another woman. You know, the one who came along to reap the benefits after Kaitlynn made the man. JMO.

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