Married At First Sight - Season 2 - Sean Varricchio - Davina Kullar - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* #2

trulyatfirstsight wrote:A hypothetical question. I make no claim to knowledge of this MAFS situation.

Say you are in an intimate relationship with a closeted man. In the course of that relationship you are constructed as being wrong/the reason the relationship went bad... because doing so enables the closeted individual to continue to hide from himself and everyone else. This level of denial may or may not rise to actual emotional abuse/women hating/crazy making (again, I caution that I am not making any claims about these individuals - this is based on experience outside of this situation - such experience can include being blamed/attacked for the lack of intimacy and/or sexual abuse - not in all cases of course - but I think more consideration needs to be given to the experiences of women in relationships with gay men - not an easy place to be).

By the logic that a closeted individual's privacy trumps all else - the person he is in a relationship with is rendered forever mute - until such time as he decides to come out. In this scenario who has power?

That has been my experience. The above scenario hopefully illustrates the complexity of the situation. Understand that from the perspective of a woman in a relationship with a closeted man who is being blamed for the failure of a relationship - silence/protection of someone else's privacy potentially comes at a very heavy price. I'm not claiming to have answers, nor I am claiming this applies here. But I find the imperative of silence at all costs quite troubling. It's not just about sexuality - its also gendered. An intersectional analysis which complicates might be quite useful.

EDIT TO ADD: This scenario is of course made all the more complicated if said relationship is playing out publicly. I totally get that there is a difference between public and private speech.

nan27 wrote:

umngirl wrote:IDK, I played in a mainly lesbian volleyball league one year because a friend asked. I'm definitely heterosexual but a friend asked and I love the sport so why not. I'm not about making claims about other people's sexuality unless they talk about it themselves.

I think that women and men are different.  I do not know of any heterosexual male (especially one that considers himself to be a player) who would ever play on an a all gay bowling team.  Wouldn't it make more sense for a "hetero" Sean to play on a mixed team where he could hit on all of the girls??

Thomigirl wrote: **edited **

They lifted this straight from this forum, LOL

GuardianAngel wrote:We do no post links to okheresthesituation' site.

pandora48 wrote:

nan27 wrote:

umngirl wrote:IDK, I played in a mainly lesbian volleyball league one year because a friend asked. I'm definitely heterosexual but a friend asked and I love the sport so why not. I'm not about making claims about other people's sexuality unless they talk about it themselves.

I think that women and men are different.  I do not know of any heterosexual male (especially one that considers himself to be a player) who would ever play on an a all gay bowling team.  Wouldn't it make more sense for a "hetero" Sean to play on a mixed team where he could hit on all of the girls??

Especially one that's single and in his mid 30s. Very odd.

stuckinsc wrote:

pandora48 wrote:

nan27 wrote:
I think that women and men are different.  I do not know of any heterosexual male (especially one that considers himself to be a player) who would ever play on an a all gay bowling team.  Wouldn't it make more sense for a "hetero" Sean to play on a mixed team where he could hit on all of the girls??

Especially one that's single and in his mid 30s. Very odd.

My husband is a registered supporter of the GLBT organization at his work place and played with all gay but him billiards team. We both go to gay events frequently and are both heterosexuals. And we live in South Carolina. So I don't find a heterosexual man playing on a gay team strange at all.

I haven't watched the show, but wanted to share this insight.