Becca Tilley - Bachelor 19 - Discussion - #8

chasingpavements wrote:

cindebugg wrote:

soccermom333 wrote:To bring it back to Becca, I am just glad  sweet Becca did not cave into anything.    

She caved.  She didn't tell Chris about her virginity until it was poo or get off the pot time.  That was either a producer directive, which means she didn't stay true to herself, or she didn't tell Chris up front out of fear.  That wasn't  fair to Chris.   In the real world, If you wait until your date plans a romantic evening complete with over night accommodations to pull out the Virgin card you will be labeled a tease.  IMO, something like that needs to be out at the very start to be fair to the other party who may not want to wait for sex.   If Becca's virginity is based on her faith then she will only be having sex with the man she marries and the probability that the wedding night will be the first time for her is high.

Yeah, but this isn't real life. Most past contestants have said that the main point of the FS date is to talk without cameras. Many have said it was at that point where no one was acting for the cameras that they realized how horrible they were for each other (Sean/Ashlee, Jason/Deanna, etc) Lots of contestants have refused sex at the FS. Krisily said that she made it very clear that she wasn't going to have sex with a guy who was dating 2 other women, but refusing time wo/ cameras is plain stupid. And, honestly, calling someone a tease for not having sex on their 3rd date seems crazy sexist to me. No one called Sean Lowe a tease.

I'm sure that she was pressured to tell chris on-camera since it was their storyline for her. I'm sure she would have preferred to tell him off-camera, but being manipulated by producers to do something does not make one not staying true to oneself.

You're right it's not real life. It's set up for the lead to fall in love with more than one person. I know people come out of the FS and say the PC thing but we know for a fact that a lot of leads sleep with multiple people in the FS. Heck, Ben and JPG didn't even wait for the FSD. I think the smartest thing would be not to have sex until the show is over but I don't think the majority of people who are cast have a problem with it. They're young, they think they're in love., the libido is raging and the alcohol flowing. It's a recipe for sex.

Of course she was pressured to tell him on camera. If she preferred to tell him off camera she should've never been on the show in the first place. That's just being naive. The bottom line is she had ample opportunity to tell him. The night that she wouldn't kiss him would have been a good time to get it out there. Or on their first date. Or the date after that. Or Hometowns. Whatever happened in the FS with them didn't leave them feeling good. Maybe Chris was perturbed she didn't offer up that info a little sooner. I'm not saying he would have sent her home any earlier but at least he could have made his choices based on the truth.

^I don't think what happened in the fantasy suite had anything to do with sex or her virginity. I think it was about Chris falling for her bad and her not being able to reciprocate at that point, which made Chris really scared about getting his heart broken by her.

I also find nothing wrong with the timing of the virginity reveal. No one is required to have sex in the fantasy suite and I'm not gonna feel sorry for Chris that he potentially missed out on a night with a Playboy model. It's not like he would've married her anyway. What on earth does it matter when Becca told him?

cindebugg wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:

cindebugg wrote:

She caved.  She didn't tell Chris about her virginity until it was poo or get off the pot time.  That was either a producer directive, which means she didn't stay true to herself, or she didn't tell Chris up front out of fear.  That wasn't  fair to Chris.   In the real world, If you wait until your date plans a romantic evening complete with over night accommodations to pull out the Virgin card you will be labeled a tease.  IMO, something like that needs to be out at the very start to be fair to the other party who may not want to wait for sex.   If Becca's virginity is based on her faith then she will only be having sex with the man she marries and the probability that the wedding night will be the first time for her is high.

Yeah, but this isn't real life. Most past contestants have said that the main point of the FS date is to talk without cameras. Many have said it was at that point where no one was acting for the cameras that they realized how horrible they were for each other (Sean/Ashlee, Jason/Deanna, etc) Lots of contestants have refused sex at the FS. Krisily said that she made it very clear that she wasn't going to have sex with a guy who was dating 2 other women, but refusing time wo/ cameras is plain stupid. And, honestly, calling someone a tease for not having sex on their 3rd date seems crazy sexist to me. No one called Sean Lowe a tease.

I'm sure that she was pressured to tell chris on-camera since it was their storyline for her. I'm sure she would have preferred to tell him off-camera, but being manipulated by producers to do something does not make one not staying true to oneself.

You're right it's not real life.  It's set up for the lead to fall in love with more than one person.  I know people come out of the FS and say the PC thing but we know for a fact that  a lot of leads sleep with multiple people in the FS. Heck, Ben and JPG didn't even wait for the FSD.  I think the smartest thing would be not to have sex until the show is over but I don't think the majority of people who are cast have a problem with it.  They're young, they think they're in love., the libido is raging and the alcohol flowing.  It's a recipe for sex.

Of course she was pressured to tell him on camera.  If she preferred to tell him off camera she should've never been on the show in the first place.  That's just being naive.   The bottom line is she had ample opportunity to tell him.  The night that she wouldn't kiss him would have been a good time to get it out there.  Or on their first date. Or the date after that. Or Hometowns.  Whatever happened in the FS with them didn't leave them feeling good.  Maybe Chris was perturbed she didn't offer up that info a little sooner.  I'm not saying he would have sent her home any earlier but at least he could have made his choices based on the truth.

She might of told him before that we will never know. It is her right to tell him when she felt comfortable about it. In my mind it would not of been a big deal to him because he was crazy about her. She has never not told the truth she is the most honest contestant that this show has ever had. If it was not for Becca this show would of tanked . She brought something new and refreshing to this show. What happened in the FS was getting to know each other and he respected who she was. That night was probably when she told him that she still was not ready to move or say ILY after dating him a total of 3 days. To me that sounds like a very mature woman that stood by her beliefs.
As far as Juan he did not have sex with Claire in the ocean she has stated that as a fact.

mindless wrote:^I don't think what happened in the fantasy suite had anything to do with sex or her virginity. I think it was about Chris falling for her bad and her not being able to reciprocate at that point, which made Chris really scared about getting his heart broken by her.

I also find nothing wrong with the timing of the virginity reveal. No one is required to have sex in the fantasy suite and I'm not gonna feel sorry for Chris that he potentially missed out on a night with a Playboy model. It's not like he would've married her anyway. What on earth does it matter when Becca told him?

*******************Edited*********************

And, again, I think it's very sexist. Was Sean Lowe being a tease when he agreed to go to the FS with Emily, knowing what usually happens in a FS and that Emily probably expected/wanted to have sex with him (I'm guessing since Emily had sex with every other single guy she's ever been to a FS with)?

And, let's face it: There are SO many more important things than being a virgin that Chris doesn't know about any of the girls before the proposal. And, vice versa. Again, I have to repeat: Melissa didn't even know Jason's job before she said yes to an engagement. At the end of the day, it's a competition and most of these girls aren't going to sit there and tell Chris about all of the bad things they've done in the past or all their horrible qualities if they want to win.

This is what makes Becca unique. She could have won, if she said the right things and what Chris wanted to hear but she has too much integrity to have done that. I think this might be what CH meant when he said this never happened in the show before. Imo

Pia1 wrote:This is what makes Becca unique.   She could have won, if she said the right things  and what Chris wanted to hear but she has too  much integrity to have done that.  I think this might be what CH meant when he said this never happened in the show before. Imo

and IMO it would have been over in a heartbeat!

eliza3 wrote:

Pia1 wrote:This is what makes Becca unique.   She could have won, if she said the right things  and what Chris wanted to hear but she has too  much integrity to have done that.  I think this might be what CH meant when he said this never happened in the show before. Imo

and IMO it would have been over in a heartbeat!

We'll just have to agree to disagree.  I think they would have had as much a chance as any couple coming off this silly show.  The show time line did not allow for Becca to totally fall, but the 4 months in between the show ending and the AFTR would've give them plenty of time to build on the relationship.  Would it have lasted long term with them getting engaged, married, etc., who knows...maybe, maybe not.  But choosing to simply date post show instead of putting an engagement ring on your finger would not have made it any less a relationship or mean it didn't have potential to become more.  

In the end, it happened as it should, IMO.  Becca wasn't ready, Whitney was, Chris made his choice.  They all seem happy enough post show and with life in general these days, and Becca is supportive of Whitney and the relationship.  And she's free to move on and find a guy and relationship that is worth the wait and at her own pace!  Win-win.  JMHO...

eliza3 wrote:

Pia1 wrote:This is what makes Becca unique.   She could have won, if she said the right things  and what Chris wanted to hear but she has too  much integrity to have done that.  I think this might be what CH meant when he said this never happened in the show before. Imo

and IMO it would have been over in a heartbeat!

Becca and Chris would have had the same chance that Whitney and Chris and every other couple in this franchise and that's 50/50.

Ladybug82 wrote:

eliza3 wrote:
and IMO it would have been over in a heartbeat!

We'll just have to agree to disagree.  I think they would have had as much a chance as any couple coming off this silly show.  The show time line did not allow for Becca to totally fall, but the 4 months in between the show ending and the AFTR would've give them plenty of time to build on the relationship.  Would it have lasted long term with them getting engaged, married, etc., who knows...maybe, maybe not.  But choosing to simply date post show instead of putting an engagement ring on your finger would not have made it any less a relationship or mean it didn't have potential to become more.  

In the end, it happened as it should, IMO.  Becca wasn't ready, Whitney was, Chris made his choice.  They all seem happy enough post show and with life in general these days, and Becca is supportive of Whitney and the relationship.  And she's free to move on and find a guy and relationship that is worth the wait and at her own pace!  Win-win.  JMHO...

Yes, Chris chose Whitney and in the 4 months since the show ended they've had plenty of time to build on the relationship. Whitney has transitioned her job into one that allows her to continue her relationship with Chris in LA. Perhaps Becca would have done this if Chris hadn't rejected her, but we'll never know. 

Becca has been free for four months now to move on with her life and it doesn't have to include finding a guy. She could finish her education, continue to try her hand at modeling as she has previously or just give interviews about her Bach experience & post on SM. It is entirely up to Becca!

She's working at her old job as a chiropractic assistant. Not sure what else she should do. And she hasn't been free to date during these four months since she's obviously required to keep the ending a secret.

^^^ thank you

mindless wrote:She's working at her old job as a chiropractic assistant. Not sure what else she should do. And she hasn't been free to date during these four months since she's obviously required to keep the ending a secret.

Obviously! As I said, moving on with her life 4months after taping the Bachelor doesn't have to include finding a guy. 

As to what else she could do: further her education, continue to try modeling, etc.  Hopefully she won't limit herself to doing interviews on her Bachelor experience.