Becca Tilley - Bachelor 19 - Discussion - #8

Becca mentioned in some interview that she thought that TPTB probably got tired of her and interviewing her for PI's/ITM's/etc. because she always ended up having laughing fits.  (don't remember which one, maybe someone else does)  So more than likely they didn't use a lot of her because they didn't have much that didn't show her happy, laughing or giggling.  Hard to show her broken down in tears, sad, or overly emotional or build a story on that type action/reaction when she's happy.  

As always JHMO....

chasingpavements wrote:

cindebugg wrote:

soccermom333 wrote:To bring it back to Becca, I am just glad  sweet Becca did not cave into anything.    

She caved.  She didn't tell Chris about her virginity until it was poo or get off the pot time.  That was either a producer directive, which means she didn't stay true to herself, or she didn't tell Chris up front out of fear.  That wasn't  fair to Chris.   In the real world, If you wait until your date plans a romantic evening complete with over night accommodations to pull out the Virgin card you will be labeled a tease.  IMO, something like that needs to be out at the very start to be fair to the other party who may not want to wait for sex.   If Becca's virginity is based on her faith then she will only be having sex with the man she marries and the probability that the wedding night will be the first time for her is high.

Yeah, but this isn't real life. Most past contestants have said that the main point of the FS date is to talk without cameras. Many have said it was at that point where no one was acting for the cameras that they realized how horrible they were for each other (Sean/Ashlee, Jason/Deanna, etc) Lots of contestants have refused sex at the FS. Krisily said that she made it very clear that she wasn't going to have sex with a guy who was dating 2 other women, but refusing time wo/ cameras is plain stupid. And, honestly, calling someone a tease for not having sex on their 3rd date seems crazy sexist to me. No one called Sean Lowe a tease.

I'm sure that she was pressured to tell chris on-camera since it was their storyline for her. I'm sure she would have preferred to tell him off-camera, but being manipulated by producers to do something does not make one not staying true to oneself.

ITA... there was no way he didn't know before hand IMO. All the other facts lead up to that... I really think that whole thing was just for the cameras. Chris might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he would have had to be living under a rock not to know. JMO.

The SC thread is now locked and probably most have moved on, but I was curious, so I took a closer look at the snow. At first, I just thought they did the aerials of the limos on a different day or the snow had melted, but the last shot of Becca leaving is not an aerial. Becca's distant limo shots don't fit, but her close-ups do.  


Chris arrives to a barn with no snow on the roof or ground. Hard to say what time it is, as it's cloudy.



Becca arrives between noon and one based on the shadows from the trees, with snow on the ground and the barn roof. (i can post the sun chart if anyone wants it)



When they cut to a close-up of Becca getting out of the car, the snow is gone. Becca leaves around 3 based on shadows. I tried to read his watch when he's hugging her good bye, but not positive, maybe 2:30 or 3:30.



As Becca drives away the snow is back (3:00 ish) As Whitney arrives presumably an hour or so later, the snow is gone. (the buildings match in the background)

I would say different day

Pia1 wrote:

cindebugg wrote:

Diana wrote:She didn't get to talk to him the first night? I always wondered why they didn't show them talking the first night but I guess there wasn't anything to show.

So she probably wasn't among his top girls after the meet and greet .  It sounds like she was a producer pick to stay because she was a virgin.

I think Chris was sure that he was going to give her a Rose that first night. imo. Chris has said that he and Becca had a connection from day one. In one of their dates they even mentioned that even though they didn't get a lot of time together but every time they saw each other their connection kept progressing.

How could they have a connection from day one if they didn't talk to each other the first night? You might feel some chemistry upon meeting someone but IMO a connection is more than chemistry. IMO, his top 4 after the m&g were Britt, Kaitlyn, Jade and Whitney. Britt imploded, Becca moved up. Jade showed Chris her porno and Becca moved up again. He was trying to decide who to send home in Bali and Becca drew the long straw because they wanted Kaitlyn for Bachelorette.

mindless wrote:How could they know Becca had a strong fan base before the show even aired? It was filmed in Sept-Nov, so whatever decisions they made about people going home certainly had nothing to do with fan base. Most people didn't even notice she existed until February.

This is true but they are doing this long enough TPTB have this down to a science so to speak. They know these contestants inside out,alone from the interviews and applications before they even cast them they have good idea who will be liked, loved , drama queens , drunks ect. and the storyboard begins. jmo

cindebugg wrote:

Pia1 wrote:

cindebugg wrote:

So she probably wasn't among his top girls after the meet and greet .  It sounds like she was a producer pick to stay because she was a virgin.

I think Chris was sure that he was going to give her a Rose that first night. imo. Chris has said that he and Becca had a connection from day one. In one of their dates they even mentioned that even though they didn't get a lot of time together but every time they saw each other their connection kept progressing.

How could they have a connection from day one if they didn't talk to each other the first night?   You might feel some chemistry upon meeting someone but IMO a connection is more than chemistry.   IMO, his top 4 after the m&g were Britt, Kaitlyn, Jade and Whitney.  Britt imploded, Becca moved up.  Jade showed Chris her porno and Becca moved up again.  He was trying to decide  who to send home in Bali and Becca drew the long straw because they wanted Kaitlyn for Bachelorette.

This is how I see it, too. Britt may have been in line for the 'ette originally and when she fell apart, Kaitlynn naturally took her place. This is exactly how I see it played out.
It all worked out well. It's great that the F2 is happy. Every season viewers hate to see the F2 demolished and sad. In this case, it didn't happen.

I believe he said that his top 3 changed completely since the first night and one of them was Jillian.

chasingpavements wrote:

cindebugg wrote:

sfrank wrote:OMG 3-4 days?! And she wasn't head over heels in love with him?! Im shocked!  

I have thought about it and as sister or family member of the Bachelor/Bachelorette I would seriously question the sanity of anyone who told me they were in love with my sibling after knowing him or her for a collective 72hrs.

Maybe I'm bias but I actually prefer someone like Becca in my family who was real, honest and more forthright about how she was feeling.  
That she wasn't saying what was necessary to "win" but speaking from the heart. I think that's a rare quality to find and that's the type of person I would want for my sibling as a life partner.

IMO, if Becca was being forthright she would have told him she wasn't really falling in love with him.   Instead we heard, " All I know is that I want you".  That just shows a lack of maturity when it comes to romantic relationships.  Anybody that's been in a long term relationship knows that "want" is a very small part in making a go of it.  

Falling in love in 3-4 days may not be the norm but it does happen within TB bubble and in RL too.  My husband and I knew after our 2nd date. We had actually spent less time together than most of the couples coming out of this show.

I really like Becca.  She is going to be a phenomenal woman but right now she is still very much a girl.  Especially when it comes to relationships.

I'm sorry, but you can't possibly really love someone after 3-4 days in Bachelor land. You might realy, really like them and be able to envision a future with them, but true love comes from seeing a WHOLE person and you just can't do that during filming. You haven't seen how the person deals with hardships or disagreements, you don't know about their past arrests and criminal history, how they have treated past partners, the producers don't let you really talk about politics, religion, TV shows, music, movies, etc. Which is why this show is horrible at producing marriages or even long-term relationships.  Most couples come out of this show, realizing they know nothing about eac other. Molly,  someone who was actually on the show, has said that Becca is the most realistic person to ever come on the show.

Since Molly doesn't know her personally she's giving an opinion just like we all are. I like Becca too. I just don't think she's the sainted Bachelor contestant that is above reproach. She didn't handle everything like an adult, some things but not everything.

The producers let them talk about all kinds of things they just don't air it to the audience. Arie said in an interview that he and Emily had talked about all sorts of things, religion being one of them. There's no way that these couples are going to spend 12 or more hours together for a date and not talk about those things. TPTB just edit those convos out of the final product.

sfrank wrote:

cindebugg wrote:

sfrank wrote:OMG 3-4 days?! And she wasn't head over heels in love with him?! Im shocked!  

I have thought about it and as sister or family member of the Bachelor/Bachelorette I would seriously question the sanity of anyone who told me they were in love with my sibling after knowing him or her for a collective 72hrs.

Maybe I'm bias but I actually prefer someone like Becca in my family who was real, honest and more forthright about how she was feeling.  
That she wasn't saying what was necessary to "win" but speaking from the heart. I think that's a rare quality to find and that's the type of person I would want for my sibling as a life partner.

IMO, if Becca was being forthright she would have told him she wasn't really falling in love with him.   Instead we heard, " All I know is that I want you".  That just shows a lack of maturity when it comes to romantic relationships.  Anybody that's been in a long term relationship knows that "want" is a very small part in making a go of it.  

Falling in love in 3-4 days may not be the norm but it does happen within TB bubble and in RL too.  My husband and I knew after our 2nd date. We had actually spent less time together than most of the couples coming out of this show.

I really like Becca.  She is going to be a phenomenal woman but right now she is still very much a girl.  Especially when it comes to relationships.

Just because she wasnt ready to say ILY or "yes" to a proposal after 3-4 days  doesn't mean she didn't want to be with Chris. She told him she did in the hotel and confirmed again ATFR. I don't subscribe to the notion that "she just wasn't that into him". She wanted to date him in real life before she was willing to uproot her entire life in SD. Which is a mature approach, IMO. I can only imagine just how much pressure TPTB had put on her to get "there" but she held her ground. Thats the embodiment of a mature woman and someone that knows who she is and her values. Values that she won't compromise for ANYBODY and certainly not to be the "winner" of some TV reality dating show. If thats not mature then I don't know what is.

As for the comparsions to RL, people aren't kept in artificial bubble with no communication to the friends and family. Nor are they competing with 25-30 other people for attention with cameras on you. She was spending a total of 3 days together - including shared time on dated with other woman. I don't really believe anyone can truly fall in love under those circumstances. It's like Becca said you can only truly credit the process for introducing them and the real work comes after the lights and cameras have gone away.

Does it count if my future husband was on a date with my girlfriend the night before he asked me out? That's kind of Bacheloresque.

It doesn't matter what we believe in terms of fall in love on TB. What matters is that the couple coming out of it believe it and if they believe they can build on the feelings they had during filming. IA that the real work comes after the credits roll.

cindebugg wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:

cindebugg wrote:

IMO, if Becca was being forthright she would have told him she wasn't really falling in love with him.   Instead we heard, " All I know is that I want you".  That just shows a lack of maturity when it comes to romantic relationships.  Anybody that's been in a long term relationship knows that "want" is a very small part in making a go of it.  

Falling in love in 3-4 days may not be the norm but it does happen within TB bubble and in RL too.  My husband and I knew after our 2nd date. We had actually spent less time together than most of the couples coming out of this show.

I really like Becca.  She is going to be a phenomenal woman but right now she is still very much a girl.  Especially when it comes to relationships.

I'm sorry, but you can't possibly really love someone after 3-4 days in Bachelor land. You might realy, really like them and be able to envision a future with them, but true love comes from seeing a WHOLE person and you just can't do that during filming. You haven't seen how the person deals with hardships or disagreements, you don't know about their past arrests and criminal history, how they have treated past partners, the producers don't let you really talk about politics, religion, TV shows, music, movies, etc. Which is why this show is horrible at producing marriages or even long-term relationships.  Most couples come out of this show, realizing they know nothing about eac other. Molly,  someone who was actually on the show, has said that Becca is the most realistic person to ever come on the show.

Since Molly doesn't know her personally she's giving an opinion just like we all are.  I like Becca too.  I just don't think she's the sainted Bachelor contestant that is above reproach.  She didn't handle everything like an adult, some things but not everything.

 The producers let them talk about all kinds of things they just don't air it to the audience.  Arie said in an interview that he and Emily had talked about all sorts of things, religion being one of them.  There's no way that these couples are going to spend 12 or more hours together for a date and not talk about those things.  TPTB just edit those convos out of the final product.

I mean, Melissa came out of the show not even knowing what Jason's JOB is, so I would say it's definitely possible. Reading interviews and books by winners and leads, it's crazy to me how many basic things they don't know about each other after filming. Multiple contestants have said that the producers do steer the conversation back to talk about love and relationships, if you ever go too long without talking about it. The only time you really have to have an honest, thorough conversation is during the FSD.

It's pretty simple. The show has produced 5 marriages in the past 29 seasons. There have been multiple relationships that lasted a few weeks after filming. Most ended after a couple of months. And, pretty much all of them, have said that they were in love and saw forever with the other person. Newsflash - they weren't. Because they didn't even know each other.

tigertiz wrote:

Falling in love in 3-4 days may not be the norm but it does happen within TB bubble and in RL too. My husband and I knew after our 2nd date. We had actually spent less time together than most of the couples coming out of this show.

Aw cindebugg - so sweet and so true. I know of 2 other couples that "knew" by the second date.  Both have ended up in happy  long term marriages.  

Just a question, were they dating other people at the time? Remember Becca's man she should have fallen in love with was dating other woman at the same time. Just like Whitney's sister wanting Chris to ask for her hand once she was the last one standing, I have no problem with any contestant on this show not being ready to say ILY until they are the last one standing. Maybe that is too realistic of a view, but I am okay with being the odd man out.

mindless wrote:

bleuberry wrote:So what's Becca up to post show? Is she still working for a chiropractor?

I believe so, if this tweet is anything to go by: https://twitter.com/beccatilley5/status/576641663214297088

I seriously love that she has no problem making fun of herself. It is awesome. So she is still at the Chiropractors office. Good for her, my mom worked in medical offices for 30 years and made a great career of it without ever going to college. Not everyone wants or needs college and I respect someone who is mature enough to know that. I see way to many people get a four year college degree with all the debt to work as a bank teller or in retail. So to me admitting that higher education isn't for you takes a lot of maturity.

Ladybug82 wrote:Becca mentioned in some interview that she thought that TPTB probably got tired of her and interviewing her for PI's/ITM's/etc. because she always ended up having laughing fits.  (don't remember which one, maybe someone else does)  So more than likely they didn't use a lot of her because they didn't have much that didn't show her happy, laughing or giggling.  Hard to show her broken down in tears, sad, or overly emotional or build a story on that type action/reaction when she's happy.  

As always JHMO....

She reminds me of my dad. He was always happy and laughing. He lived through the great depression and to him he said that he realized that life was a gift and to be happy with what he had. I try to smile if I can and make other's days better. Why not? It doesn't cost me anything to try to share a little joy.

Maybe that is why I like Becca. She is fun, sweet and happy and doesn't seem to feel the need to make others feel bad about themselves.

Even after show all her statements have been to uplift her friend Whitney and her relationship. To me that is a sign of a mature woman, who cares more about other people than herself.