Becca Tilley - Bachelor 19 - Discussion - #8

cindebugg wrote:

soccermom333 wrote:To bring it back to Becca, I am just glad  sweet Becca did not cave into anything.    

She caved.  She didn't tell Chris about her virginity until it was poo or get off the pot time.  That was either a producer directive, which means she didn't stay true to herself, or she didn't tell Chris up front out of fear.  That wasn't  fair to Chris.   In the real world, If you wait until your date plans a romantic evening complete with over night accommodations to pull out the Virgin card you will be labeled a tease.  IMO, something like that needs to be out at the very start to be fair to the other party who may not want to wait for sex.   If Becca's virginity is based on her faith then she will only be having sex with the man she marries and the probability that the wedding night will be the first time for her is high.

notarose wrote:i'm hoping Becca's story with lead to a "rethink" regarding the engagement aspect of the show.  There have been a few non-engagements over the years and they have all been met with "disbelief"  IMO it is the silliest aspect of the show.  I would much rather a proposal, if wanted by the couple, happen at the ATFR. 

I do think the edit attempted to portray Becca as not being at a stage in her life where she is ready to get engaged whereas I think she just wasn't ready to commit after spending the equivalent of 3-4 days with the guy.  Even people who have become engaged on the show say the real relationship starts after filming so why not base an engagement on a real relationship. 
I'm glad Becca was on the show because it opens the debate.

cindebugg wrote:

soccermom333 wrote:To bring it back to Becca, I am just glad  sweet Becca did not cave into anything.    

She caved.  She didn't tell Chris about her virginity until it was poo or get off the pot time.  That was either a producer directive, which means she didn't stay true to herself, or she didn't tell Chris up front out of fear.  That wasn't  fair to Chris.   In the real world, If you wait until your date plans a romantic evening complete with over night accommodations to pull out the Virgin card you will be labeled a tease.  IMO, something like that needs to be out at the very start to be fair to the other party who may not want to wait for sex.   If Becca's virginity is based on her faith then she will only be having sex with the man she marries and the probability that the wedding night will be the first time for her is high.

sfrank wrote:

cindebugg wrote:

soccermom333 wrote:To bring it back to Becca, I am just glad  sweet Becca did not cave into anything.    

She caved.  She didn't tell Chris about her virginity until it was poo or get off the pot time.  That was either a producer directive, which means she didn't stay true to herself, or she didn't tell Chris up front out of fear.  That wasn't  fair to Chris.   In the real world, If you wait until your date plans a romantic evening complete with over night accommodations to pull out the Virgin card you will be labeled a tease.  IMO, something like that needs to be out at the very start to be fair to the other party who may not want to wait for sex.   If Becca's virginity is based on her faith then she will only be having sex with the man she marries and the probability that the wedding night will be the first time for her is high.

What was she to do? Walk up to Chris on night one and say "hi I'm Becca from San Diego and I'm virgin"?!

Or perhaps she should have told him in the short 5-10 minutes of interrupted time during the first 5 weeks on group dates? When exactly is the "right" time to tell guy you've known for a collective 1 to 2 hrs about one's virginity? Should she have on the first 1on1 date when she finaly has his undivided attention?! Maybe. Or maybe she wanted him to know more about HER personality and not her bedmates. Do you think any of the other women shared how many men they been with on their first dates?!

Unlike Ashley I don't think Becca whole identity is her virginity- she's so much more than that and perhaps she thought it was important to spend their quality time getting to know each other on deeper level than a sexual one. Obviously sex is important in any relationship but surely she wants to know who he is before she even goes down that path, no?!

That aside, Chris said that he knew that she was a virgin during her hometown date and certainly if that was an issue for him, he could've sent her at that point. It was not and he did not. Chris also said he didn't know why she was still a virgin (faithbased or not) and didn't press her for answers because it didn't matter to him.

stuckinsc wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:

mindless wrote:Amy Long was on AfterBuzz TV a couple of weeks ago and she claimed the show is actually surprisingly real. Like the producers didn't try to put words in her mouth or anything. Though she only made it to week 3 on Juan Pablo's season, so I doubt they had much reason to push her in any certain direction. But I remember Samantha saying something similar and she was there for 6 weeks.

Obviously they were pushing Becca to say ILY though, but all the more respect for her for staying real!

She's dating Drew, who made it to the end,so she would probably know if they any force certain actions or dialouge. She said that Drew also had great things to say about his experience and the producers. I think the producers probably egg the lead/contestants on certain things to ask (why don't you talk about past relationships), but I don't think that there are cue cards. I know kalon said so, but I don't really believe a word out of his mouth.

No offense to anyone, but Amy and Drew are possibly two of the sweetest, but not that smart people to ever come through this show.  I always thought this was why hot and sweet and poor dumped Drew was not the lead.  After Emily, they probably didn't want to take a chance with another lead who couldn't remember the script.

I think they are both nice people, but they were probably not feed lines as there was no need to feed either of them anything.

Becca is fine now and I respect her for not giving into ILY or an engagement as agreement to date.  It is a stupid thing and to me one of the sad changes that has come about since Brad 1.0 and DeAnna.  It used to be would the bachelor propose?  Now it is expected and if heaven forbid the lead isn't ready to say ILY or propose after having spent three days with someone while also dating other people, he is to be vilified and destroyed.  

I respect, Brooks, JPG and Becca.  I hate, hate, hate the engagement as agreement to date and find it sad that for the most part what we do post show is look for signs of stress, since the couples aren't trying to be realistic and building a relationship i nstead they are hassled to move into together right away and to set a wedding date with someone they still don't know all that well.  It can work, but honestly has only worked with F1 in 4 out of 28 seasons.  This one is TBD.  So the people like Becca aren't the ones who are broken it is TPTB and their formula that is faulty.

bleuberry wrote:So what's Becca up to post show? Is she still working for a chiropractor?

chasingpavements wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:

She's dating Drew, who made it to the end,so she would probably know if they any force certain actions or dialouge. She said that Drew also had great things to say about his experience and the producers. I think the producers probably egg the lead/contestants on certain things to ask (why don't you talk about past relationships), but I don't think that there are cue cards. I know kalon said so, but I don't really believe a word out of his mouth.

No offense to anyone, but Amy and Drew are possibly two of the sweetest, but not that smart people to ever come through this show.  I always thought this was why hot and sweet and poor dumped Drew was not the lead.  After Emily, they probably didn't want to take a chance with another lead who couldn't remember the script.

I think they are both nice people, but they were probably not feed lines as there was no need to feed either of them anything.

Becca is fine now and I respect her for not giving into ILY or an engagement as agreement to date.  It is a stupid thing and to me one of the sad changes that has come about since Brad 1.0 and DeAnna.  It used to be would the bachelor propose?  Now it is expected and if heaven forbid the lead isn't ready to say ILY or propose after having spent three days with someone while also dating other people, he is to be vilified and destroyed.  

I respect, Brooks, JPG and Becca.  I hate, hate, hate the engagement as agreement to date and find it sad that for the most part what we do post show is look for signs of stress, since the couples aren't trying to be realistic and building a relationship i nstead they are hassled to move into together right away and to set a wedding date with someone they still don't know all that well.  It can work, but honestly has only worked with F1 in 4 out of 28 seasons.  This one is TBD.  So the people like Becca aren't the ones who are broken it is TPTB and their formula that is faulty.

I do think that Amy was a little...naive? She said in that interview "I don't even think producers are trying to get you to stay anything! It's just that it usually happens accidentally and then they have to use it. They really care about everyone". I don't think that's true AT ALL.

Back to the cue cards - I do absolutely think that leads are told what topics to discuss, based on what they know about the contestant's history and experience in the house, and if they ever veer away too far from that topic, they are told to stop talking and change topic. Jason has even said that in his podcast. So, I do think that TPTB told Chris to get Becca to say ILY in that last week. I don't believe that they gave him a script that said "I want everything you can give me", etc.

And, I don't think that Drew didn't get picked because he was too stupid or sweet. I think it was just because he came off too soft and too passive to be the male lead. I don't think Emily's necessarily smart, but I don't think that her intelligence is that much different than most of the recent leads, to be honest.

bleuberry wrote: So what's Becca up to post show? Is she still working for a chiropractor?

murasaki1393 wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:

whit90 wrote:


You can not compare Juans season to Chris's season. Juan was pressured to no end to propose to Nikki but like we saw he was not going to be a puppet to what the producers wanted. After his season and Andii's season which had the worst ratings. There is no doubt in my mind that they made sure that there was a proposal at the end. Jmo

Oh, yeah, that's totally different than cue cards. I mean, jason has said that he was literally threatened with a bad edit if he didn't propose. He said that he called Melissa's parents and told them he wasn't going to propose, and the producers called back and said Jason just was confused. I absolutely think that this pressure played into Chris's decision. He couldnt choose to date long-distance a girl who didn't even love him, when he had said all season he came here looking for a wife. And TPTB would have been pissed that two Bachlor seasons in a row had not produced a proposal and an exchange of ILY.

i, for one, totally believe after JPG's disastrous season (going by TPTB's standard)  TPTB would do "whatever it takes" to get a season with the  "JPG's Polar Opposite" outcome. From CS media interview, to CH's, to MF's 'changing the game', etc gave me that impression. This literally means in the end an ILY exchange- a Proposal- a Ring was a must. (stated in the contract?..maybe..). As the cherry on top (the sweet prize?) was the DWTS gig * cough2 JPG, cough2.... Thus i honestly think it was'nt a lost cause in light of Becca as CH wanted us to believe, its actually CS's lost cause from the very beginning

Speaking of cue cards, on a related note, there must be some reasons why Becca hardly had PIs appearance aside from her dates. IMO that girl is too normal, smart and immune toward Producers's manipulations. Good for her