The Bachelorette 11 - Kaitlyn Bristowe - General Discussion - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

chasingpavements wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:

Well...RS said that she slept with both Shawn and Ben during the FS dates, so apparently they DIDN'T care that much about the friendships. These people obviously have very progressive views about sex. Whitney and Kaitlyn are still good friends despite having sex with the same guy within a week. Jillian and Molly are still good friends despite having sex with the same guy within a week.

Well there is difference between having sex in FS and doing it when there are 8 other guys there. JMO.

Well, first of all, we don't technically know if it was 8 people. We just know that it was sometime in Ireland. Most likely it was that episode 7, where 6 people were left, just because a) something went down in that episode because so many guys left, b) RS doesn't have any specific details about it, and c) she said it was after having 2-5 dates with the guy.

I still disagree. If we are going to say it's disrespectful to have sex with your friends' "girlfriend", it's disrespectful whether it's 6 guys or 3 guys. And, let's be honest: if Kaitlyn went up to Shawn/Ben/Chris/whoever and was like "hey, let's have sex", I doubt any of them would have said no. From everything I've heard from past contestants, they are all waiting on pins and needles to go to the FS from pretty much the beginning.

You're right. Had another guy been given that opportunity, they probably would've jumped on it. But I don't think that's what happened. Also, the sex before the FS gives an advantage and perhaps a false sense of intimacy. How are the 6-8 other relationships supposed to grow with that hanging over her head? Maybe she didn't want them grow. If Kaitlyn and Nick couldn't have waited a few weeks to jump into bed, so be it. I just think that once you have narrowed it down to the 3 guys you can potentially see yourself marrying, it's different. The guys don't even see each other at that point. Only at rose ceremonies. We'll have to agree to disagree.

BlackHalo wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:
Well there is difference between having sex in FS and doing it when there are 8 other guys there. JMO.

Well, first of all, we don't technically know if it was 8 people. We just know that it was sometime in Ireland. Most likely it was that episode 7, where 6 people were left, just because a) something went down in that episode because so many guys left, b) RS doesn't have any specific details about it, and c) she said it was after having 2-5 dates with the guy.

I still disagree. If we are going to say it's disrespectful to have sex with your friends' "girlfriend", it's disrespectful whether it's 6 guys or 3 guys. And, let's be honest: if Kaitlyn went up to Shawn/Ben/Chris/whoever and was like "hey, let's have sex", I doubt any of them would have said no. From everything I've heard from past contestants, they are all waiting on pins and needles to go to the FS from pretty much the beginning.

You're right. Had another guy been given that opportunity, they probably would've jumped on it. But I don't think that's what happened. Also, the sex before the FS gives an advantage and perhaps a false sense of intimacy. How are the 6-8 other relationships supposed to grow with that hanging over her head? Maybe she didn't want them grow. If Kaitlyn and Nick couldn't have waited a few weeks to jump into bed, so be it. I just think that once you have narrowed it down to the 3 guys you can potentially see yourself marrying, it's different. The guys don't even see each other at that point. Only at rose ceremonies. We'll have to agree to disagree.

The bolded is an excellent point. Whether it was Nick or one of the other guys, I can only imagine how smug he must have felt when they were all hanging out together, and how humiliated/duped the other guys must feel in retrospect (well, at least the ones who thought they were building something with Kaitlyn). And right or wrong, if you look at what happened with Courtney, I can guarantee that the sex guy ain't gonna be real popular and buddy-buddy with the rest of them now that they know.

Forget the show I can't wait for the Men tell All show!! Now that should be interesting ! :Nod:

ironcat wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:

Well, first of all, we don't technically know if it was 8 people. We just know that it was sometime in Ireland. Most likely it was that episode 7, where 6 people were left, just because a) something went down in that episode because so many guys left, b) RS doesn't have any specific details about it, and c) she said it was after having 2-5 dates with the guy.

I still disagree. If we are going to say it's disrespectful to have sex with your friends' "girlfriend", it's disrespectful whether it's 6 guys or 3 guys. And, let's be honest: if Kaitlyn went up to Shawn/Ben/Chris/whoever and was like "hey, let's have sex", I doubt any of them would have said no. From everything I've heard from past contestants, they are all waiting on pins and needles to go to the FS from pretty much the beginning.

You're right. Had another guy been given that opportunity, they probably would've jumped on it. But I don't think that's what happened. Also, the sex before the FS gives an advantage and perhaps a false sense of intimacy. How are the 6-8 other relationships supposed to grow with that hanging over her head? Maybe she didn't want them grow. If Kaitlyn and Nick couldn't have waited a few weeks to jump into bed, so be it. I just think that once you have narrowed it down to the 3 guys you can potentially see yourself marrying, it's different. The guys don't even see each other at that point. Only at rose ceremonies. We'll have to agree to disagree.

The bolded is an excellent point.  Whether it was Nick or one of the other guys, I can only imagine how smug he must have felt when they were all hanging out together, and how humiliated/duped the other guys must feel in retrospect (well, at least the ones who thought they were building something with Kaitlyn).  And right or wrong, if you look at what happened with Courtney, I can guarantee that the sex guy ain't gonna be real popular and buddy-buddy with the rest of them now that they know.

Exactly.

Jolena wrote:Forget the show I can't wait for the Men tell All show!! Now that should be interesting ! :Nod:

The testosterone will be bursting at the seams, they may have to get some body guards so ChrisH. doesn't get punched in the nose.

I have always wondered why HTDs were before FSDs. It never really made sense to me. In reality, I would think that most people dating/in a relationship generally will sleep together before they meet each others' families?

Kaitlyn having FSDs before HTDs just seems to mimic reality a lot more closely than the other way around? Not to mention, less families to disappoint too.

In that sense, I think, whether planned or unplanned, this season seems to feel more "real" (and raw) to me because of how open Kaitlyn is and how real she is. That's what people loved about her before she was the Bette - she is open, candid, and real, almost to a fault. Why would she stop being that way just for a "show"? That is changing her whole personality. If anything, the show had to fit into her "realness" and maybe that is not such a bad thing.  

JMO.

In all seriousness, I always go back to when we found JP in Cosmo that said his New Year's resolution was something along the lines of being careful about sex because it always complicates things. It couldn't be more true this season, and that is the case always IMO.

ironcat wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:

Well, first of all, we don't technically know if it was 8 people. We just know that it was sometime in Ireland. Most likely it was that episode 7, where 6 people were left, just because a) something went down in that episode because so many guys left, b) RS doesn't have any specific details about it, and c) she said it was after having 2-5 dates with the guy.

I still disagree. If we are going to say it's disrespectful to have sex with your friends' "girlfriend", it's disrespectful whether it's 6 guys or 3 guys. And, let's be honest: if Kaitlyn went up to Shawn/Ben/Chris/whoever and was like "hey, let's have sex", I doubt any of them would have said no. From everything I've heard from past contestants, they are all waiting on pins and needles to go to the FS from pretty much the beginning.

You're right. Had another guy been given that opportunity, they probably would've jumped on it. But I don't think that's what happened. Also, the sex before the FS gives an advantage and perhaps a false sense of intimacy. How are the 6-8 other relationships supposed to grow with that hanging over her head? Maybe she didn't want them grow. If Kaitlyn and Nick couldn't have waited a few weeks to jump into bed, so be it. I just think that once you have narrowed it down to the 3 guys you can potentially see yourself marrying, it's different. The guys don't even see each other at that point. Only at rose ceremonies. We'll have to agree to disagree.

The bolded is an excellent point.  Whether it was Nick or one of the other guys, I can only imagine how smug he must have felt when they were all hanging out together, and how humiliated/duped the other guys must feel in retrospect (well, at least the ones who thought they were building something with Kaitlyn).  And right or wrong, if you look at what happened with Courtney, I can guarantee that the sex guy ain't gonna be real popular and buddy-buddy with the rest of them now that they know.

I wouldn't assume necessarily that the guy she had sex with has an advantage over the other guys. Not that i know from personal experience but a woman could have sex with a guy and know from the get go that he is not "the one" but has sex anyway. And maybe after the sex she is more convinced that ever that he is not "the one". I grew up in the 70's too and saw a lot of things...watching others.

ironcat wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:

Well, first of all, we don't technically know if it was 8 people. We just know that it was sometime in Ireland. Most likely it was that episode 7, where 6 people were left, just because a) something went down in that episode because so many guys left, b) RS doesn't have any specific details about it, and c) she said it was after having 2-5 dates with the guy.

I still disagree. If we are going to say it's disrespectful to have sex with your friends' "girlfriend", it's disrespectful whether it's 6 guys or 3 guys. And, let's be honest: if Kaitlyn went up to Shawn/Ben/Chris/whoever and was like "hey, let's have sex", I doubt any of them would have said no. From everything I've heard from past contestants, they are all waiting on pins and needles to go to the FS from pretty much the beginning.

You're right. Had another guy been given that opportunity, they probably would've jumped on it. But I don't think that's what happened. Also, the sex before the FS gives an advantage and perhaps a false sense of intimacy. How are the 6-8 other relationships supposed to grow with that hanging over her head? Maybe she didn't want them grow. If Kaitlyn and Nick couldn't have waited a few weeks to jump into bed, so be it. I just think that once you have narrowed it down to the 3 guys you can potentially see yourself marrying, it's different. The guys don't even see each other at that point. Only at rose ceremonies. We'll have to agree to disagree.

The bolded is an excellent point.  Whether it was Nick or one of the other guys, I can only imagine how smug he must have felt when they were all hanging out together, and how humiliated/duped the other guys must feel in retrospect (well, at least the ones who thought they were building something with Kaitlyn).  And right or wrong, if you look at what happened with Courtney, I can guarantee that the sex guy ain't gonna be real popular and buddy-buddy with the rest of them now that they know.

Can't you say the same thing for Roberto, since Ali said that she told him after the first date that she was going to pick him? Or can't you say the same for JP, since we know that Ashley would send him love notes, which meant that he stood out for her? Or, Nikki, since Juan Pablo took her to see his kid and no one else? Whether you want to define how they felt as "smug" or just confident and having faith, they all had a pretty good idea that they were going to win from very early on...and so did mostly everyone else.

The truth is that the lead usually lets their top pick (or two) know very early on and throughout the process that they are the one. This time it just happened to be a bit more scandalous than words, love notes, or meeting a kid. I don't think that Nick felt any more smug than the other three F1s I mentioned.

chasingpavements wrote:

ironcat wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:
You're right. Had another guy been given that opportunity, they probably would've jumped on it. But I don't think that's what happened. Also, the sex before the FS gives an advantage and perhaps a false sense of intimacy. How are the 6-8 other relationships supposed to grow with that hanging over her head? Maybe she didn't want them grow. If Kaitlyn and Nick couldn't have waited a few weeks to jump into bed, so be it. I just think that once you have narrowed it down to the 3 guys you can potentially see yourself marrying, it's different. The guys don't even see each other at that point. Only at rose ceremonies. We'll have to agree to disagree.

The bolded is an excellent point.  Whether it was Nick or one of the other guys, I can only imagine how smug he must have felt when they were all hanging out together, and how humiliated/duped the other guys must feel in retrospect (well, at least the ones who thought they were building something with Kaitlyn).  And right or wrong, if you look at what happened with Courtney, I can guarantee that the sex guy ain't gonna be real popular and buddy-buddy with the rest of them now that they know.

Can't you say the same thing for Roberto, since Ali said that she told him after the first date that she was going to pick him? Or can't you say the same for JP, since we know that Ashley would send him love notes, which meant that he stood out for her? Or, Nikki, since Juan Pablo took her to see his kid and no one else? Whether you want to define how they felt as "smug" or just confident and having faith, they all had a pretty good idea that they were going to win from very early on...and so did mostly everyone else.

The truth is that the lead usually lets their top pick (or two) know very early on and throughout the process that they are the one. This time it just happened to be a bit more scandalous than words, love notes, or meeting a kid. I don't think that Nick felt any more smug than the other three F1s I mentioned.  

We don't know that it's Nick, but IMO, having sex with someone is a hell of a lot more than telling them something, that may or may not be true. Sex is pretty self explanatory.

Iron, that depends on the sex

Man, this is going to be the best season evahhh.

If RS is right and she did in fact have sex with Nick then I would hope that he is the one she picked and not the other dude. Assuming of course that she picked someone and that spoiler is wrong.
This whole thing is a tad icky.