Re: Andi Dorfman & Josh Murray - Fan Forum - General Discussion Thread #3

[Bet2Win]

It's all good, edenpole.  

[Elle]

I agree that Andi and Josh were truly in love. What they had is too special and too rare to give up on so easily. I know they were facing many obstacles but I don’t think they were insurmountable.  I go back and forth as to whom I think called it off, and find myself feeling anger towards the one I think is responsible at the time.  I believe they both went into this adventure with good intensions.  Josh said he wanted an intelligent, strong, woman.  He said he found that to be a sexy quality, and that’s exactly what he found in Andi.  Josh had all the qualities that Andi was looking for.  She might have gone into the experience looking to find someone other than her usual type, but in the end she couldn’t fight the chemistry she had with Josh. Their love for each other seemed to grow during the first few months after the show but then their lives took a chaotic turn when they were thrust into the spotlight.  I think Andi took the brunt of it because she didn’t have the confidence in herself to ignore the negative comments that were constantly being made about her. Fame for her became a double edged sword.  She was given more opportunities to pursue some of her dreams but it seemed that everything she tried was heavily scrutinized and criticized.  Josh seemed to have an easier time of it but was struggling with his desire to have a normal life, get married, and have a family. I think Andi wanted all of those things too but her time frame wasn’t in line with Josh’s.  I think MM was too quick to make her statement and maybe should have let the two of them handle it themselves.  Josh is a 30 year old man.  I have total respect for his love for his family, but if he wants to get married and start his own family he will have to make that relationship his priority. I still feel it isn’t too late for them to realize that what they have together is a once in a lifetime love that they are unlikely to find with anyone else.  I wish there was someone in their lives that they could seek unbiased counsel from. I will continue to root for them!

Elle,  love your post. I disagree that MM was too quick to make her statement . I personally think she probably immediately started to receive messages from friends, family and fans wanting to know if it was true or not . She was so accommodating with the fan through SM throughout the show,(ie relaying messages for fans, having questions answered for us, receiving roses and gifts, posting photo's for us etc.) she probably felt somewhat obligated to let her FB followers and the fans know that it was indeed true.  JMO

Jolena, I didn't mean to imply that MM didn't make her statement with the best intentions I just thought she might have waited a bit longer. I do realize that she was probably inundated with messages and if that is the case I stand corrected.

[alberta3]

I completely agree with what Ash said. I don't think MM got over Andi and Nick hence the quick statement. I hope she will allow them to work things out themselves. By the way I'm new at forum and I'm enjoying reading all the commends.

[nannymargie]

I completely  agree with what Ash said. I don't think MM got over Andi and Nick hence the quick statement. I hope she will allow them to work things out themselves. By the way I'm new at forum and I'm enjoying reading all the commends.  

Welcome Alberta3, Keep posting we are interested in hearing your thoughts.

[Kashathediva]

Personally, I do not think MM posted what she did without running it by Josh first. She has  been an excellent "mouthpiece" for the couple in the past on so many levels. Now that they have gone their separate ways who better to make a statement for Josh?

[GuardianAngel]

alberta3 Glad you joined us!

[Rolly]

To me respecting the wishes of the couple is being positive.  They made a very positive statement about their break up.  They have done nothing but treat each other with dignity since the break up.  I personally find it being positive to support them in knowing what is best for them.

They both worked hard at this relationship.  They both put time, effort and a lot of love into the relationship.  And I respect them to have made this decision with a lot of soul searching and love.  Sometimes the greatest love can be to let go of someone when you realize that you just can't make each other happy.

ITA... I don't think they made this decision lightly knowing how many people would feel sad about the breakup. I think they are doing what is best for them.

[BachfanNY]

Just caught up with all your comments...Color me shocked! I did not see this coming. Really. I thought I was going to read about wedding plans this morning, NOT a break-up. But, oh well, I wish them the best. Josh is beautiful and he's a family man, he will find his happy ending very soon if its not with Andy. Moving on...

[Maggenzm]

I guess my problem with assuming that Andi should change and get back together with Josh is that IMO it isn't what Andi wants.  She was happiest when she was out and about and having her picture taken.  She absolutely loved that.  

I guess for me, I respect Andi enough to know what it is she wants right now and I actually admire her for admitting it.  It is much harder to end an engagement than to play along and make a mistake.

If they are meant to be, they will both need to compromise.  Andi will need to have the children but Josh will also have to wait.  

As for it taking even longer now, I happen to disagree, be it going back together or someone else, I think this will help them both to see what they really want and need and to also be more honest in looking for the deeper values and not just the red hot chemistry.

Chemistry is awesome, but if you don't have the foundation underneath it doesn't last.  It is more important IMO to really like the person you marry, than to feel that butterfly love.  True like IMO leads to deep love more than butterflies do.

And I actually respect Andi and Josh, I didn't want her to pick him because of the constant doubting and grilling.  But at first I saw a couple genuinely enjoying themselves and getting to know each other.  I respect that they both tried.  I think Andi truly did want to want what Josh wanted and I guess unlike some others, I respect that she made the tough choice and was honest with herself and Josh.  She could have married him and just took BC and never let him know why they weren't getting pregnant.  She did the hard thing IMO admitting that right now it wasn't for her.

At first, it bothered me that she doubted him so much, but after a while I dismissed it. But now that I think of it, if the doubting and grilling continued, then I can see why Josh would just move on like he has just done.
Remember how angry he was about the lie detector, and said that he believed that relationship should be based on Trust, "you can't just wake up one day after 30 years of marriage and ask your mate to take a lie detector" he said. This would explain MM comment about better to do to it now then later.

IMO Andi continued to question their relationship every time they had a disagreement (remember, like she said, she over analyzes everything), so she doubted him so much that Josh decided that if she can't trust him, better to end it now then later.

This to me makes sense, bcs Josh trusted and committed himself fully to the relationship, he said he had unconditional love for Andi and nothing was going to change that. But, something changed that, and to me the only thing would be Andi not trusting him. If that's the case, then the ball is on Andi's court, if she can't trust him after all this time, this feeling might never go away, then she should just move on. JMO.

Just for the record, I don't think Andi forgot her priorities or is into fame or fake, she is actually enjoying the moment and taking advantage of the opportunity that has been presented to them. I think these two are very comparable and can work it out if they so choose, but without "mutual trust", no relationship can survive. IMO

[AnandaMarie]

I guess my problem with assuming that Andi should change and get back together with Josh is that IMO it isn't what Andi wants.  She was happiest when she was out and about and having her picture taken.  She absolutely loved that.  

I guess for me, I respect Andi enough to know what it is she wants right now and I actually admire her for admitting it.  It is much harder to end an engagement than to play along and make a mistake.

If they are meant to be, they will both need to compromise.  Andi will need to have the children but Josh will also have to wait.  

As for it taking even longer now, I happen to disagree, be it going back together or someone else, I think this will help them both to see what they really want and need and to also be more honest in looking for the deeper values and not just the red hot chemistry.

Chemistry is awesome, but if you don't have the foundation underneath it doesn't last.  It is more important IMO to really like the person you marry, than to feel that butterfly love.  True like IMO leads to deep love more than butterflies do.

And I actually respect Andi and Josh, I didn't want her to pick him because of the constant doubting and grilling.  But at first I saw a couple genuinely enjoying themselves and getting to know each other.  I respect that they both tried.  I think Andi truly did want to want what Josh wanted and I guess unlike some others, I respect that she made the tough choice and was honest with herself and Josh.  She could have married him and just took BC and never let him know why they weren't getting pregnant.  She did the hard thing IMO admitting that right now it wasn't for her.

At first, it bothered me that she doubted him so much, but after a while I dismissed it. But now that I think of it, if the doubting and grilling continued, then I can see why Josh would just move on like he has just done.
Remember how angry he was about the lie detector, and said that he believed that relationship should be based on Trust, "you can't just wake up one day after 30 years of marriage and ask your mate to take a lie detector" he said. This would explain MM comment about better to do to it now then later.
IMO Andi continued to question their relationship every time they had a disagreement (remember, like she said, she over analyzes everything), so she doubted him so much that Josh decided that if she can't trust him, better to end it now then later.
This to me makes sense, bcs Josh trusted and committed himself fully to the relationship, he said he had unconditional love for Andi and nothing was going to change that. But, something changed that, and to me the only thing would be Andi not trusting him. If that's the case, then the ball is on Andi's court, if she can't trust him after all this time, this feeling might never go away, then she should just move on. JMO.

I honestly think that Andi trusts Josh 100% now. When we saw them at the AFR, it was clear that all her doubts were gone and that they were completely in love. I still hope that they can realize how special their love was and try again. I think that they made mistakes. I would love to seem them try to communicate, compromise and fix those mistakes. Maybe they need to take things slower- start dating again, living separately until they have fixed the mistakes and built a strong relationship. They I would like to see them get engaged and married. Love like that is hard to find and i hope they give it just one more try.

[Maggenzm]

I guess my problem with assuming that Andi should change and get back together with Josh is that IMO it isn't what Andi wants.  She was happiest when she was out and about and having her picture taken.  She absolutely loved that.  

I guess for me, I respect Andi enough to know what it is she wants right now and I actually admire her for admitting it.  It is much harder to end an engagement than to play along and make a mistake.

If they are meant to be, they will both need to compromise.  Andi will need to have the children but Josh will also have to wait.  

As for it taking even longer now, I happen to disagree, be it going back together or someone else, I think this will help them both to see what they really want and need and to also be more honest in looking for the deeper values and not just the red hot chemistry.

Chemistry is awesome, but if you don't have the foundation underneath it doesn't last.  It is more important IMO to really like the person you marry, than to feel that butterfly love.  True like IMO leads to deep love more than butterflies do.

And I actually respect Andi and Josh, I didn't want her to pick him because of the constant doubting and grilling.  But at first I saw a couple genuinely enjoying themselves and getting to know each other.  I respect that they both tried.  I think Andi truly did want to want what Josh wanted and I guess unlike some others, I respect that she made the tough choice and was honest with herself and Josh.  She could have married him and just took BC and never let him know why they weren't getting pregnant.  She did the hard thing IMO admitting that right now it wasn't for her.

At first, it bothered me that she doubted him so much, but after a while I dismissed it. But now that I think of it, if the doubting and grilling continued, then I can see why Josh would just move on like he has just done.
Remember how angry he was about the lie detector, and said that he believed that relationship should be based on Trust, "you can't just wake up one day after 30 years of marriage and ask your mate to take a lie detector" he said. This would explain MM comment about better to do to it now then later.
IMO Andi continued to question their relationship every time they had a disagreement (remember, like she said, she over analyzes everything), so she doubted him so much that Josh decided that if she can't trust him, better to end it now then later.
This to me makes sense, bcs Josh trusted and committed himself fully to the relationship, he said he had unconditional love for Andi and nothing was going to change that. But, something changed that, and to me the only thing would be Andi not trusting him. If that's the case, then the ball is on Andi's court, if she can't trust him after all this time, this feeling might never go away, then she should just move on. JMO.

I honestly think that Andi trusts Josh 100% now. When we saw them at the AFR, it was clear that all her doubts were gone and that they were completely in love. I still hope that they can realize how special their love was and try again. I think that they made mistakes. I would love to seem them try to communicate, compromise and fix those mistakes. Maybe they need to take things slower- start dating again,  living separately until they have fixed the mistakes and built a strong relationship. They I would like to see them get engaged and married. Love like that is hard to find and i hope they give it just one more try.

The AFR was only for about 30 minutes, we don't know what really happens in the daily basis.

I think Josh is very strong and a man of his word, IMO, no mistake would change his mind as he had reassured her, and proved that with the Nick situation, so I don't think this was about mistakes, Josh made it clear, he had unconditional love, they had a friendship relationship and can say anything to one another. For Josh not to fight for her, the break up must be about something deeper, like lock of trust.JMO

[AnandaMarie]

Sorry, but i disagree. I really think that the loved and trusted each other and would just like to see them try it again.

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