Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #2

At least Andi is brave enough to try something she is passionate about. JMO some people will go their whole life without trying something new. Besides You can still get a job with a gap in your resume.

I say time will tell!!

alberta3 wrote:At least Andi is brave enough to try something she is passionate about. JMO some people will go their whole life  without trying something new. Besides You can still get a job with a gap in your resume.

I say time will tell!!

Yes, thank you I agree with you. Life is not a race and she has done a lot in 27 years. It is fine if she takes some time to grieve and regroup. She should take a few months and check out options and places that seem to be a good fit for her. I do not think that she should rush this.

JMO--but she has taken since Sept 2013. To me, that is a lot of time trying to find oneself. I realize she did 2 stints on the show. However, she has now said goodbye to the show since May 2014. That's 9 months.

But that's ok though, it's her life and she should be able to live it as she wants...She isn't hurting anyone by not working a 9-5 or asking for a hand out from me, I am not paying her bills, if Andi has it like that, I not upset with her....

Andi's no longer trying to decide what to do though IMO. She's decided. She's said she's trying to go into fashion. I can't say how successful she'll be but getting into this industry isn't easy. The path isn't linear where she can map it out for herself like law or most professions so it's hard for me to judge where she is based on 9 months

Kashathediva wrote:She truly and deeply loved the idea of Josh, her idea of Josh. This wasn't the real Josh, not the Josh his real friends and family knew. 
Reconciling dreams with the reality is harsh. 
Once they both tried living the reality of the other, it was too much and yet not enough to fight for or make each other happy. 
It is difficult for me to figure out which ME is real, the crying ME or the kissy face ME or the grumpy cat ME. She is very adaptable it seems.

MiaHawk wrote:

Ladybug82 wrote:

alberta3 wrote:**edit** She is not the first person who has done it and she will not be the last. To air is human and to forgive is Devine. None of us are perfect **edit**Granted I would have done things deferent but then again I wouldn't know until am in her shoe. IMO that does not mean she doesn't love him.

It could be that dancing on tables and posing pics she is craving attention from him.

Again all hands are not the same.

Will have to agree to disagree.  She just seems to want to be the center of attention all the time.  IMO, doesn't matter who from, as long as someone is fawning over her.

When I listened to Andi say that (she felt) Josh did not support her, I thought This is code for Josh did not continue to fawn over me because he appeared to be supporting her otherwise---roof over her head, food in her belly, travels, etc. I think any normal man who thought he was dating a hard working attorney, but who ended up with a full time dependent with champagne wishes and caviar dreams would have been a bit taken aback. She is delusional.

MiaHawk wrote:One day Andi will look back and realize that this wasn't true love either. She was simply in lust with a guy she liked because of his perceived stature in the community, his perceived future earnings potential, and his athletic looks and jovial personality.  She enjoyed her time in the limelight which was based on her being part of this couple.  She was happy for him in her life, because with Josh came these perks.  She liked him and cared for him, but I stand firmly in my belief that she did not have true love with him because:

http://www.currentinspiration.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Love-is-patient.-love-is-kind.jpg

sara11 wrote:

MiaHawk wrote:

Ladybug82 wrote:

Will have to agree to disagree.  She just seems to want to be the center of attention all the time.  IMO, doesn't matter who from, as long as someone is fawning over her.

When I listened to Andi say that (she felt) Josh did not support her, I thought This is code for Josh did not continue to fawn over me because he appeared to be supporting her otherwise---roof over her head, food in her belly, travels, etc. I think any normal man who thought he was dating a hard working attorney, but who ended up with a full time dependent with champagne wishes and caviar dreams would have been a bit taken aback. She is delusional.

IMO when she said josh didn't support or empower her I took it to be about her fashion endevours and her website etc. When she said she didn't support him I took it to mean Advocare, they both obviously didn't understand each others passions in that sense.

MiaHawk wrote:

jlccaz wrote:

sara11 wrote:
IMO when she said josh didn't support or empower her I took it to be about her fashion endevours and her website etc. When she said she didn't support him I took it to mean Advocare, they both obviously didn't understand each others passions in that sense.

Yes, that's what I think too.  No JOINT opportunities to actually earn a living as  Famous Couple came their way, they had to find other means to support themselves, and neither one picked something that fit the other one's idealized notion of a spouse.  Which I completely get.  Selling nutritional supplements via MLM, bleck.  And being Just Another Girl with t-shirts and a fashion blog, who HAD a law degree, also bleck.  Ironically, I feel as disillusioned with them as they are with one another.

What ever happened to the concept that you get up in the morning and do an honest day's work and collect a check for it? There is honor to working hard even when you're not 100% in love with your job.  Do you think the coal miners loved their jobs? Do you think doctors love being sleep deprived? Do you think toll booth attendants love the fumes?  Geez. Why this need to get something for nothing, to game the system, to hit it big with the next big thing?  Just get over yourself and come to grips with the fact that you're just not that special. You are a worker bee just like the person next to you. Nothing in life is free. Go work an honest day for what you want. Including a paycheck. Including a relationship that works. Including a character that you can be proud of. Stepping down...

Mia and Kasha, great posts!

GuardianAngel wrote:If I truly loved someone, after expressing my opinions, I would support them in doing whatever they believed to be the right thing to do at that time. If it failed, fine, at least I supported him, because I love him, and he would learn. I would expect the same in return. I don't think I would fall out of love because of his chosen profession unless it was illegal or whatever.

If there are a variety of things that he wants to do, jumping from one idea to another that I don't feel I can support him, then I start to dislike him.

She tweeted one sketch of a tshirt that she was working on. I haven't seen anything further about her so called fashion venture. What other work related projects has she been working on? Her lack of support came through with the tweet about cuddling. That was her way of showing everyone, she's not crazy about this new venture. It's not good enough for her but at the same time, she doesn't have any motivation to take anything on.

At least he is trying to make his business work, whether some agree with the product or not. She hasn't done much of anything as far as work, for over 1 yr.

nannymargie wrote:Maybe Josh has moved on and maybe he hasn't.  Men bury their feelings and will put up a macho imagine.

Just maybe Josh jumped into Advocare full on so he doesn't have to deal with the pain he is feeling.

Andi's feeling are out in the open and that is how she is trying to deal with it.  Right now I feel she is lost and doesn't know where to turn but I am sure she will get it together soon.  Everyone handles heartbreak different.

This is IMO

Eviebloom wrote:

alberta3 wrote:At least Andi is brave enough to try something she is passionate about. JMO some people will go their whole life  without trying something new. Besides You can still get a job with a gap in your resume.

I say time will tell!!

Yes, thank you I agree with you.  Life is not a race and she has done a lot in 27 years.  It is fine if she takes some time to grieve and regroup.  She should take a few months and check out options and places that seem to be a good fit for her.  I do not think that she should rush this.  

ReneeM wrote:Andi's no longer trying to decide what to do though IMO. She's decided. She's said she's trying to go into fashion. I can't say how successful she'll be but getting into this industry isn't easy. The path isn't linear where she can map it out for herself like law or most professions so it's hard for me to judge where she is based on 9 months

Actually, if you start a new field it is always good to get training. Andi doesn't seem to be seeking any kind of guidance or help, she just seems to think she can do it. Look at Des she worked for years at the bottom and put real effort into it.

If Andi loves fashion then go to school and actually learn something about it. Or see if you can intern or something. Do something. Following a dream is great if you can afford it. But, you also have to pay the bills and it seemed to me that the stress of supporting both of them made Josh work even harder on Advocare, which in turn Andi resented.

Oh and planning the mixer? Sorry, but the hotel did most of that, I know because I have planned many, many fundraisers, what she did and where she had it wasn't all that much work.

I hope Andi figures stuff out, and is successful in the end, but I think a dose of reality would do her some good. She went from Daddy supporting her to wanting Josh to support her. Too bad.

Also, this great love they supposedly had? I call great love being able to stick through thick and thin. You love each other above and beyond. These two loved the idea of each other and when that idea was not true they couldn't make it.

I hope for both of them they grow and learn from this experience to search for love that actually helps them and makes them better people. Des and Chris and Ashley and JP are both great examples of two individuals who came together to make a better whole together and both had obstacles to overcome as well.

Someday, I hope they find that. But I don't see that they had a strong love to build on. Instead they had a strong attraction that burned bright and then died.

Kashathediva wrote:Don't be so tough on her. 
She does a blog. She paid for a ticket for a charity sponsored NYE function.  She's spiritual--she made a holiday wreath. She's fashion forward. She blends $15 homespun designs with $1500 dollar accessories and vogues them well with intermittent grumpy face and kissy lips all while walking. 
Give her some cred.

My bad. I did forget some of her "accomplishments".

Don't get me started with pairing the $15 dress with $1500 in accessories.

Imo, a real job would go a long way to giving her life clarity & direction. :Nod:

mag pie wrote:Imo, a real job would go a long way to giving her life clarity & direction. :Nod:

I agree. I don't doubt her tears being real, but I also don't think her sadness has much to do with losing her one true love. I think it's a combination of feeling like she failed at her one shot at a public fairy tale, embarrassment over all the OTT things she said about the relationship in interviews etc., the fact that she was the one being dumped and most of all her current life situation. She really doesn't have much going on in her life right now, so she's been wallowing in all these negative feelings for a month feeling sorry for herself, thinking what was and what could've been. That'll make anyone an emotional wreck, let alone an insecure person like Andi. I actually found it sweet how CH told her it's not a failure, since I'm sure he can relate after his divorce.

What I found laughable is the notion that you can love each other deeply, yet be unable to make it work. That is just BS IMO. Only thing that could come between true love is, IMO, distance, and even that usually takes years to accept if there's real love involved, because it's just too painful to give up. I've been in a long distance relationship for years and we've gone as long as 6 months without seeing each other in person, yet we've never even considered breaking up. We have been through all kinds of life changes, illness and so on, but it's always been clear as day that we're a unit and there's no one else we can see ourselves with than each other. Doesn't mean it's all puppies and rainbows and that we never annoy each other, but that doesn't affect the love. Andi and Josh, on the other hand, had everything in their favour, even location unlike other couples from this franchise, yet things blew up after a few short months. That's true love? What a JOKE. I also find it hard to imagine one would have sex with someone else after meeting and developing a relationship with one's soulmate, no matter how horny one might be, but to each their own I guess.

I do like how this interview touched on a lot of things we've been speculating, like Andi's obsession with appearances and her never having her heart broken before, which was painfully obvious from how she acted towards heartbroken Nick. I really hope she will gain some perspective from all this and mature thanks to it. I think both her and Josh are very immature for people their age, but I'm sure it's easier for Josh, since he has his faith to fall back on. I think it's clear he realised it wasn't meant to be and while it was sad, he still believes in a higher plan and trusts that things went as they were supposed to. Andi doesn't have that, so she's stuck wallowing and probably thinks nothing can fix the failure that will always be hanging over her head. The best thing for her would be to go on with her life and forget about the fame. She clearly doesn't have the personality to handle it.

mindless wrote:

mag pie wrote:Imo, a real job would go a long way to giving her life clarity & direction. :Nod:

What I found laughable is the notion that you can love each other deeply, yet be unable to make it work. That is just BS IMO. Only thing that could come between true love is, IMO, distance, and even that usually takes years to accept if there's real love involved, because it's just too painful to give up. I've been in a long distance relationship for years and we've gone as long as 6 months without seeing each other in person, yet we've never even considered breaking up. We have been through all kinds of life changes, illness and so on, but it's always been clear as day that we're a unit and there's no one else we can see ourselves with than each other. Doesn't mean it's all puppies and rainbows and that we never annoy each other, but that doesn't affect the love. Andi and Josh, on the other hand, had everything in their favour, even location unlike other couples from this franchise, yet things blew up after a few short months. That's true love? What a JOKE. I also find it hard to imagine one would have sex with someone else after meeting and developing a relationship with one's soulmate, no matter how horny one might be, but to each their own I guess.

I think there are other things that can come between true love, and one of those is family (think the Notebook). I'm not saying that was the case in this situation, but I think it's very possible that it caused strain and possibly to Andi's feelings of not being supported.  When you then factor in two strong, stubborn personalities and their relative inexperience in committed relationships and the compromises it takes to make them work,  that can tear you apart.  Theirs was still a relatively young love, and hadn't had time to develop into the deeper loves that you see with longer relationships or marriage. But I don't think that it takes away from it still being a genuine, true love.

I got the sense from the interview that there are still a lot of unresolved feelings between these two and that there was likely more to the story than just the personality conflicts. Maybe if given more time and possibly a little counseling it could have made a difference.

On a side note, Andi (and Josh) are receiving so many tweets and IG comments from fans wishing they would work things out and get back together. Does anyone here on the forum know if that has happened before, and to this degree? I know SM is far more common now, but I just don't remember this with any of the other franchise couples that broke up.

Laudergirl wrote:

mindless wrote:

mag pie wrote:Imo, a real job would go a long way to giving her life clarity & direction. :Nod:

What I found laughable is the notion that you can love each other deeply, yet be unable to make it work. That is just BS IMO. Only thing that could come between true love is, IMO, distance, and even that usually takes years to accept if there's real love involved, because it's just too painful to give up. I've been in a long distance relationship for years and we've gone as long as 6 months without seeing each other in person, yet we've never even considered breaking up. We have been through all kinds of life changes, illness and so on, but it's always been clear as day that we're a unit and there's no one else we can see ourselves with than each other. Doesn't mean it's all puppies and rainbows and that we never annoy each other, but that doesn't affect the love. Andi and Josh, on the other hand, had everything in their favour, even location unlike other couples from this franchise, yet things blew up after a few short months. That's true love? What a JOKE. I also find it hard to imagine one would have sex with someone else after meeting and developing a relationship with one's soulmate, no matter how horny one might be, but to each their own I guess.

I think there are other things that can come between true love, and one of those is family (think the Notebook). I'm not saying that was the case in this situation, but I think it's very possible that it caused strain and possibly to Andi's feelings of not being supported.  When you then factor in two strong, stubborn personalities and their relative inexperience in committed relationships and the compromises it takes to make them work,  that can tear you apart.  Theirs was still a relatively young love, and hadn't had time to develop into the deeper loves that you see with longer relationships or marriage. But I don't think that it takes away from it still being a genuine, true love.

I got the sense from the interview that there are still a lot of unresolved feelings between these two and that there was likely more to the story than just the personality conflicts. Maybe if given more time and possibly a little counseling it could have made a difference.

On a side note, Andi (and Josh) are receiving so many tweets and IG comments from fans wishing they would work things out and get back together. Does anyone here on the forum know if that has happened before, and to this degree? I know SM is far more common now, but I just don't remember this with any of the other franchise couples that broke up.

mindless wrote:

mag pie wrote:Imo, a real job would go a long way to giving her life clarity & direction. :Nod:

I agree. I don't doubt her tears being real, but I also don't think her sadness has much to do with losing her one true love. I think it's a combination of feeling like she failed at her one shot at a public fairy tale, embarrassment over all the OTT things she said about the relationship in interviews etc., the fact that she was the one being dumped and most of all her current life situation. She really doesn't have much going on in her life right now, so she's been wallowing in all these negative feelings for a month feeling sorry for herself, thinking what was and what could've been. That'll make anyone an emotional wreck, let alone an insecure person like Andi. I actually found it sweet how CH told her it's not a failure, since I'm sure he can relate after his divorce.

What I found laughable is the notion that you can love each other deeply, yet be unable to make it work. That is just BS IMO. Only thing that could come between true love is, IMO, distance, and even that usually takes years to accept if there's real love involved, because it's just too painful to give up. I've been in a long distance relationship for years and we've gone as long as 6 months without seeing each other in person, yet we've never even considered breaking up. We have been through all kinds of life changes, illness and so on, but it's always been clear as day that we're a unit and there's no one else we can see ourselves with than each other. Doesn't mean it's all puppies and rainbows and that we never annoy each other, but that doesn't affect the love. Andi and Josh, on the other hand, had everything in their favour, even location unlike other couples from this franchise, yet things blew up after a few short months. That's true love? What a JOKE. I also find it hard to imagine one would have sex with someone else after meeting and developing a relationship with one's soulmate, no matter how horny one might be, but to each their own I guess.

I do like how this interview touched on a lot of things we've been speculating, like Andi's obsession with appearances and her never having her heart broken before, which was painfully obvious from how she acted towards heartbroken Nick. I really hope she will gain some perspective from all this and mature thanks to it. I think both her and Josh are very immature for people their age, but I'm sure it's easier for Josh, since he has his faith to fall back on. I think it's clear he realised it wasn't meant to be and while it was sad, he still believes in a higher plan and trusts that things went as they were supposed to. Andi doesn't have that, so she's stuck wallowing and probably thinks nothing can fix the failure that will always be hanging over her head. The best thing for her would be to go on with her life and forget about the fame. She clearly doesn't have the personality to handle it.