Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #2

scenedujour wrote:

Laudergirl wrote:^^^^^
That's just it. If it were an issue of Andi not finding Josh to be intellectually challenging enough, or if their equally strong alpha personalities were a main reason for their problems, it would have presented itself a lot sooner IMO.
That's what I find so confusing about these theories people have. There are a lot of inconsistencies. For almost every theory I have heard about their breakup or why they have issues, I can tell you something that contradicts it. Things aren't adding up to me and I hope to get some clarity on Sunday night.

I'm a longterm lurker posting for the first time. Full disclosure I was (and still am) a huge fan of Nick so my perspectively is probably colored by this bias. Nevertheless, I can certainly imagine that Josh and Andi were not compatible intellectually, and I've always held that opinion. No offense to Josh but he never struck me as being very deep during the show. When they weren't butting heads, they had the most superficial conversations (at least in the edit we got).

I'm not suggesting Andi is an intellectual but she graduated from law school which means she does have the capability (or perhaps the slight desire) to stimulate her brain to some degree. Perhaps more so than she realized before this relationship and probably helps explain the attraction to Nick in the first place. She only managed to tell us quite often about their mental connection.

It could very well be that once the initial infatuation wore off and the rose-colored glasses came off, she was much more aware of how incompatible the two of them truly were at least in this regard. This isn't meant to suggest that Josh is at fault or lacking in some way, but people are different and have varying needs. I'm not a huge fan of Andi but I can relate on this point.

I don't consider myself an intellectual although I do have a Ph.D. And while I do love to have fun and engage in a fair number of trivial pursuits very often, I do need that mental stimulation, someone who challenges me and forces me to think beyond my limited scope, opens up new experiences and perspectives. I dated someone once where it was fun all the time and within a couple of months I was very bored although I stuck it out for almost a year. When it ended I was devastated because I hurt someone I truly cared about, but it was definitely the right thing to do.

I share this to say that I can understand the apparent contradiction where Andi might be broken up about the relationship but on some level still feel like the two of them did not match up intellectually.

And now my cynicism comes into play. She might also be feeling broken up and devastated because I think Andi really wanted the relationship to succeed for a number of reasons that probably had little to do with love. She strikes me as the kind of person (and I can also relate on this score) who takes failure personally. So it's hard for her to forgive herself that the person she picked in the end wasn't right for her. It makes her feel weak and that she did not live up to expectations. I also suspect that after the Nick fiasco during the ATFR she was determined to have a successful relationship to show him up, but also prove to everyone else who saw (or heard about it), that in the end it did not matter. Now she has to deal with some people (and in her mind Nick too) probably reveling in the breakup. Finally, I also imagine that having Josh on her arm seemed like a real coup since he is considered a hunk by so many people. That's probably why she usually goes after the athletes. She needs that external validation and this would explain why the relationship lasted as long as it did. She was determined to make it work.

Kashathediva wrote: snipped

She would fit in well. She has already lost at least one tooth! She might be ahead of the game.

FLChica wrote:If you combined Josh and Nick, you would have MeandI's ideal man: A well dressed, slightly edgy, intellectual with an athlete's body that is mellow enough to put up with her drama. I personally don't feel she brings enough to the table to keep a man like this, but hey - can't blame her for trying. :cutesmile!:

bleuberry wrote:Her duck face photo got 35000 likes. So some people think it's cute and aren't sick of her, I guess?

nannymargie wrote:

bleuberry wrote:Her duck face photo got 35000 likes. So some people think it's cute and aren't sick of her, I guess?

She also had 563 comments and most of them are positive.

bleuberry wrote:Her duck face photo got 35000 likes. So some people think it's cute and aren't sick of her, I guess?