Bachelor 19 - Kelsey Poe - Discussion

relaxing wrote:I actually worry that one of these seasons there will be contestant who's portrayed to maximum effect as one of the "crazy" ones who can't handle the social media reaction and something bad could really come of it.

That has occurred to me this season with Ashley S, Juelia and now Kelsey.  There is a line between a funny/drama type of contestant whose socially awk or a self-absorbed attention seeker for viewers to snark on and someone who might have deep rooted issues and not be able to handle millions of people watching, laughing at and judging them.  There's a fine line to me that the show is really walking the edge of and may have crossed this season. What happened to the psych tests?

I hope they do have good counsellors for contestants leaving the show, and even while the show is airing, if they're going to show stuff like this in in the way they do.  In our age of mass, anonymous and brutal feedback,  I do worry it could result in it's own tragedy some day.

  Social media/cyber bulling is a real problem and TPTB need to check themselves for how far they are willing to go to make a contestant look bad despite the contestant's inability to cope with the aftermath.  

MiniDiva wrote:

relaxing wrote:I actually worry that one of these seasons there will be contestant who's portrayed to maximum effect as one of the "crazy" ones who can't handle the social media reaction and something bad could really come of it.

That has occurred to me this season with Ashley S, Juelia and now Kelsey.  There is a line between a funny/drama type of contestant whose socially awk or a self-absorbed attention seeker for viewers to snark on and someone who might have deep rooted issues and not be able to handle millions of people watching, laughing at and judging them.  There's a fine line to me that the show is really walking the edge of and may have crossed this season. What happened to the psych tests?

I hope they do have good counsellors for contestants leaving the show, and even while the show is airing, if they're going to show stuff like this in in the way they do.  In our age of mass, anonymous and brutal feedback,  I do worry it could result in it's own tragedy some day.

  Social media/cyber bulling is a real problem and TPTB need to check themselves for how far they are willing to go to make a contestant look bad despite the contestant's inability to cope with the aftermath.  

Can't help but think in lawyer mode. If I was a lawyer for the show, I would be seriously concerned and on the phone instructing them to take action to follow up on these women to protect themselves from potential liability(sorry that's how lawyers think and it's what we do). I would also be strongly recommending firing whatever mental health professional screened these women and still let these women on the show. They have always had the crazy but they have really crossed a new line this season with women who seem to be in need of professional help STAT!

relaxing wrote:I actually worry that one of these seasons there will be contestant who's portrayed to maximum effect as one of the "crazy" ones who can't handle the social media reaction and something bad could really come of it.

That has occurred to me this season with Ashley S, Juelia and now Kelsey.  There is a line between a funny/drama type of contestant whose socially awk or a self-absorbed attention seeker for viewers to snark on and someone who might have deep rooted issues and not be able to handle millions of people watching, laughing at and judging them.  There's a fine line to me that the show is really walking the edge of and may have crossed this season. What happened to the psych tests?

I hope they do have good counsellors for contestants leaving the show, and even while the show is airing, if they're going to show stuff like this in in the way they do.  In our age of mass, anonymous and brutal feedback,  I do worry it could result in it's own tragedy some day.

I've thought this too. It really is cyber bullying and shaming. I assume they tell them what might happen and that the attention is short lived so to just ride it out, but I could see some having a hard time shaking it. Tierra for example has probably had a hard time dealing with it because she won't live it down for quite a few years.

if you read the comments on Kelsey's Facebook page, they are not all ugly trolls cyber bullying.  There are several very  positive comments made by people who personally have experience with or know Kelsey. Not just family members defending her, but also friends, parents of students that she's helped, a former landlady, etc. She is obviously liked and respected by many people in real life.

That's another thing I simply don't understand. 
If you know there is a possibility to get weird, hateful or off the wall stuff on your SM, why leave it open for the public? Why not leave it private? I may not cut all of the crazy out completely, but it has to help.

Mia, the story about your father was shocking and sad, but what a courageous man to recover like he did.

This article was in the Tulsa World newspaper today:
http://www.tulsaworld.com/homepage5/tvtype-the-bachelor-contestant-kelsey-poe-shuts-down-twitter-account/article_5d0d4774-9d53-536b-969b-84d2907b9195.html

'The Bachelor' contestant Kelsey Poe shuts down Twitter account after bashing by show fans...

Kelsey Poe, an Austin, Texas, guidance counselor, is among the contestants on the 19th edition of ABC's hit romance reality series, "The Bachelor," airing at 7 p.m. Mondays on ABC, channel 8 and cable 1008. CRAIG SJODIN/ABC

By RITA SHERROW World Scene Writer

"The Bachelor" contestant Kelsey Poe reveals late husband had a Tulsa connection.

Kelsey Poe created the most dramatic moments on Monday's "The Bachelor" when she told everyone about the death of her husband, former Tulsa musician Sanderson Poe, 42, calling it an "amazing story."

The 28-year-old  Grand Rapids, Michigan, native also made a mad dash to "Bachelor" Chris Soules' hotel room to tell him her personal story and secure a place in his affections. A move that show host Chris Harrison blogged may have backlashed on her.

He blogged that Poe comes off as “extremely confident" when talking about her personal life, such as being a widow, but when Chris told the contestants waiting for the weekly cocktail party that Kelsey had visited him in his room, her “arrogance gave way to insecurity.” That apparently led to the alleged panic attack shown at the end Monday's episode — something considered a possible move to get Soules' attention.

The evening was derailed when Poe heard all about a one-on-one date Soules had with another contestant.

Harrison blogged on tv.yahoo.com: "It was this information that prompted Kelsey to sneak out to get some alone time with Chris. Earlier in the week, we saw Kelsey finally open up about her past to some of the other girls. She calmly told them about how her husband tragically died. When Kelsey told Chris the same story, she became a lot more emotional and detailed about what happened.

"The whole thing was a bit awkward for Chris — but nothing could be more awkward than that kiss. If you look at Chris's body language, he couldn't have been stiffer, and if he leaned back any further, he would've fallen off the couch. Kelsey felt very good about herself going into the cocktail party. It's odd how even when she's talking about really emotional things, she comes off extremely confident and almost condescending to the other women. As you heard, many of the other women just don't believe Kelsey is for real. When Chris walked in and let it slip that Kelsey snuck over and saw him that day the situation only got worse. "

Social media, in particular Twitter, quickly filled with mainly negative comments from show fans. She shut down her Twitter account before reopening it Tuesday night and setting her tweets to "protected." She also lashed back at "fans" on her Facebook page and changed her Instagram account to private, according to inquisitor.com.

The Texas high school guidance counselor was also slammed for promoting herself in the obituary published in the Tulsa World she wrote for her husband, who died one day in 2013 while walking to work.

“Sanderson Patrick Poe, age 42, had great passion for the loves of his life. His wife, Kelsey Lyn Poe and his music. Together Sanderson and Kelsey set their course as one and as one they were. Kelsey’s goal and Sanderson’s supportive commitment were achieved May 18, 2013 with Kelsey’s graduation with her Master’s Degree from the University of Texas in Austin. Sanderson lived his life as a loving partner to Kelsey and to be true to his own free spirit.”

Kelsey's sister, Taylor Persons, came to her defense, alluding to manipulative editing, Tuesday on Facebook.com:

"Kelsey's story is in fact amazing! I am truly disappointed in the footage that ABC decided to air and the way it showed no sensitivity to Kelsey and Sanderson.

"I have been there for my sister since the day Sanderson passed, and it has not been easy. It is never easy for someone to move on after a tragic loss happens.

"The footage you saw where Kelsey said, 'Isn't my story amazing?' was in regards to her story of how she overcame such horrific grief. In no way was Sanderson's death amazing. It is amazing that Kelsey found the strength to seize each day, travel the world by herself, meet new people and take on new hobbies. She chose to take on each day rather than stay in bed crying; that takes a strong person to do that.

"She has used her experience to help others who have lost a loved one and serves as a role model to empower them to stay strong. I am disgusted by the way Kelsey was portrayed on the show and the comments/messages people are sending. No one ever deserves to be bullied, receive hate mail or be harassed ... only bits and pieces of her story and footage have been shown.

"Thank you to those of you who are sending positive and encouraging words for Kelsey, I love sharing those uplifting words with her. I will not allow the cyberbullying to reach Kelsey, no one should ever be treated with such disrespect especially regarding her deceased husband, Sanderson.

"For those of you wanting to know more about Kelsey and how she has coped with her loss please read her blog after the season is done airing: www.anomalyme.com (under construction) My heart hurts for my older sister. She is truly as sweet and caring as her friends and family claim she is ... it's unfortunate that ABC viewers don't get the opportunity to see that.

"You honor a man's memory by respecting his wife.

"Sincerely, Taylor"

Monday's episode ended with Poe on the floor sobbing while being attended to by a paramedic. There was no rose ceremony so all the current contestants will return at 7 p.m. Monday on ABC, channel 8, cable 1008.

“Next Monday night we begin right back where we left off, on the floor outside the bathroom," blogged Harrison. "You will see the rest of Kelsey’s panic attack and you can decide if you think it was legit or all an act. The other ladies are starting to really question Kelsey, and this ‘incident’ didn’t help any.”

According to the website, Harrison said there will be a rose ceremony. Posted spoilers are saying Poe does get a rose and Mackenzie and Samantha will be sent home. Britt, Whitney, Carly, Megan, Kaitlyn, Jade, Ashley I., and Kelsey remain in the running as a potential mate for Soules.

"As you can see, tensions are high as more and more relationships are being built here," Harrison blogged. " Next week everything boils over, and you will witness the wildest, most dramatic two-on-one date in the history of this show.”

Here's a sneak peek at Monday's episode which includes her conversation with Soules about the death of her husband:

Rita Sherrow 918-581-8360

rita.sherrow@tulsaworld.com

nutty1 wrote:Mia, the story about your father was shocking and sad, but what a courageous man to recover like he did.

Thank you, Nutty and all of the others who responded to my father's story with such kind words.

I've been doing some more thinking about Kelsey, and I've come with another theory about some of her weird behavior last episode. She seems to have a sense of humor or attitude where she makes fun of the other women. On the rafting date when Jade gets attention from CS because she got cold, Kelsey makes a couple of comments about how she wishes she had a problem that could get his attention. They show her cackling that she's too normal so she won't get attention (paraphrased). She is mocking Jade and the others and basically saying that those with a sad story have an advantage. She also complained that the bimbos on the camping date were throwing themselves at CS and taking off their bikinis, but because she wasn't "misbehaving" she was being ignored. She became angry that Britt's time with CS was diminishing her relationship with CS. In some way, I think some of the OTT ITMs about "Isn't my story amazing" and "this is my lovestory" (paraphrased) are her attempt at being sarcastic and funny. But it just came across as inappropriate and arrogant. The whole thing was just strange. Maybe it is as simple as she is a narcissist. IDK.

I think it is as simple as that. She mocks, she complains, she got angry, sarcastic and funny--all toward the other women.
 This is how TPTB chose to edit her--narcissistic. It probably was not a far stretch, proof in her husband's obituary.

MiaHawk wrote:

nutty1 wrote:Mia, the story about your father was shocking and sad, but what a courageous man to recover like he did.

Thank you, Nutty and all of the others who responded to my father's story with such kind words.  

I've been doing some more thinking about Kelsey, and I've come with another theory about some of her weird behavior last episode.  She seems to have a sense of humor or attitude where she makes fun of the other women. On the rafting date when Jade gets attention from CS because she got cold, Kelsey makes a couple of comments about how she wishes she had a problem that could get his attention. They show her cackling that she's too normal so she won't get attention (paraphrased).  She is mocking Jade and the others and basically saying that those with a sad story have an advantage.  She also complained that the bimbos on the camping date were throwing themselves at CS and taking off their bikinis, but because she wasn't "misbehaving" she was being ignored.  She became angry that Britt's time with CS was diminishing her relationship with CS.  In some way, I think some of the OTT ITMs about "Isn't my story amazing" and "this is my lovestory" (paraphrased) are her attempt at being sarcastic and funny. But it just came across as inappropriate and arrogant.  The whole thing was just strange.  Maybe it is as simple as she is a narcissist. IDK.

There is a deleted scene on the ABC website: Ashley talking with Kaitlyn following Kelsey telling Ash and another about her husband's death.  The deleted scene was shot before Kelsey talked to Chris.  It gives some insight into how Ashley and Kaitlyn viewed Kelsey.

She didn't come off as sarcastic at all. She comes off with a sort of holier than thou attitude and after watching Kaitlyn and Ashley's deleted scene where Kaitlyn basically said how didn't like how Kelsey belittles them.. yeah I can see it.

Just sad. And the obituary says it all. That is not normal. She should have never been accepted on the show. I'm wondering if Cassie Lambert being home with her baby is resulting in bad casting.