Re: Nick Viall Bachelorette 10 - Fan Forum - Updates - Discussion - Thread #9

[SueSt]

“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.”
― Elie Wiesel

Wow, Happy, this quote by Elie Wiesel really touched me… because this is what I saw this past week with Nick and Andi.  Maybe it was real or maybe it was put on as a defense mechanism, but Andi’s lack of compassion and empathy toward Nick were extremely disturbing; the seeming indifference Andi showed to a man who had told her he wanted to marry her and was in love with her and was there literally pouring his heart out to her was soul destroying… and is one of the key reasons I’m having trouble moving on.  My heart still breaks for Nick.

So the "crazy week" is over now and Nick will return to his life, certainly with more information and insight… but in truth, still with heartache, knowing that what he had with Andi was real for him… and working to reconcile his head and his heart.  Drew said it took him a couple of months… and so given what we saw in terms of Nick’s connection and commitment to Andi, I don’t imagine his transition will be any quicker.  Wanting and wishing for it to happen quickly will not help.  Friends telling him he dodged a bullet or she was not worthy will not help.  People telling him his true love is around the corner will not help.  Only time will help Nick find his way forward.

[SueSt]

Thanks dear Mura,

The Anthony Robbins unlimited power principle makes a lot of sense given what we’ve seen and I think you have it correctly pegged; Nick was willing to risk it all for love, Andi was not … and so the fact that they both experienced the same level of passion and had diametrically opposed responses is just very very hard to reconcile.  

And in those circumstances, it makes sense that Nick would continue to press on for a positive love resolution and Andi would retreat to her current militant anti love position.  They are opposite sides of the same coin; both holding on for dear life.  Nick called Andi stubborn, but he is as well; stubborn in terms of believing the reality that they two of them shared and being unwilling to let it go.  

And to quote what I wrote earlier, I have ZERO doubt that Nick is misreading the situation: The thing is I trust Nick... and I believe Nick when he assessed that Andi was falling in love with him. He said he never felt it before. I believe that Nick had the correctly tuned measuring stick for whether or not she was deceiving him. Of course, what I saw on tv (and what he said he also saw watching the episodes back) only supported his assessment. It's not like Nick saw something different from what he experienced.  

So I applaud Nick for being unwilling to let it go, why would he… from his perspective what he had with Andi was a once in a lifetime love… one you don’t throw away.  He literally and figuratively prostrated himself at her feet, left no stone unturned, gave her every possible chance to come to her senses.  The fact that Nick was willing to continue to pursue Andi even after he was rejected multiple times doesn’t make him crazy or a stalker, rather a prince, a heroic figure willing to fight the dragons (and yes, in this case, Andi is the dragon!!) to win his princess.  The storybook he wrote is the perfect reflection of their experience.

Nick knows Andi, sees all of her, right into the depths of her soul… there’s no one or nothing that would be more effective than Nick in reaching Andi.  And if I’m being honest, a part of me is still waiting for Andi to come to her senses and live out the happy ending to their fairytale…

I understand your POV Sue...ITA that Nick was not delusional..he sensed ' Andi' with both his heart and mind..

I am fine with Meandi's decision. Its her life. I just hope she doesnt do oscar-caliber-acting with Josh and the Murrays..i thought Josh was a great guy with a loving family.

I have more problems in how TPTB portrayed Jodi's story. See, in my understanding, if Meandi chose Josh bc he is Meandi's great love, that he had to let go a 'good love' (Nick), why on earth:
-  they didnt show any montage of Jodi journey, but Nick instead (on the FS) with the fairy-tale ish touch?  :shocked!: 
-  they replaced the segment of the supposed Final-couple montage with all of the hideous frowning Meandi's footage?   
-  they topped this Great Love season with the frown cat gift instead of a honeymoon gift (eg ala Jash and Aliberto)?   

that leads me to these curio :
- does that mean TPTB have only a little 'faith' in this final couple?.
- Meandi got the frown montage instead of the LS montage= She is no princess to TPTB? (compared that for instance with Ali, Ash,Em, Des's FRC and ATFR- you'll see the difference-- they all had their LS montage on the FRC/ATFR)
- does the cat gift implying this season's joke ' to let the cat out of the bag' finally?'--something stinky was hidden all along?

things that makes me still     . I mean ,if TPTB highlighted Jodi's LS - for instance, how she struggled and showed a segment of emphasizing the Great Love she had with Josh in the final episode-FRC-ATFR, i wouldnt have those curio at the first place..

oh well.. i guess time with tell...or maybe it will still remain as another Ette X-Files till the end of Bach world for me....

Thanks Mura.  I agree about Andi and Josh.  I think if TPTB had more to show us, they would have.  I think basically Andi saw Josh as her type and despite experiencing true love with Nick she got scared, as Nick has said, and retreated to what she knew.  

I also think that it’s very possible that TPTB were as surprised about Andi’s choice as many of us were... and therefore, as a good friend suggested, chose to ‘support’ Nick in his quest for answers... showing how Nick:

• Continued to press and receive assurances from Andi,
• Showing Andi’s response to Nick’s courtship:
- in Venice Andi saying: if I end of with Nick, Venice is where I could say we fell in love
- The emotional, mental and physical passion Andi described in their sneak over date in Brussels
- Andi’s declaration at the end of their Dinant date that she could see Nick proposing
- Nick’s declaration of love on their FD and Andi’s response: Nick says he loves me.  I feel hopeful and safe and I feel like when Nick looks at me he sees every part of me; my heart, my mind, my soul.  I don’t know how to describe it because I never felt that way before.  It’s a once in a lifetime type of stuff.  I feel very lucky that I’ve met someone like Nick.  
• CH’s support for Nick in his blogs
• Filming the MKE segment and flying Nick to CA to try and broker a conversation.  

Also, all the ways you note the TPTB have not supported Andi’s LS with Josh: no LS montage, the cat, no honeymoon gift, etc...

I think you state it correctly: i guess time with tell...or maybe it will still remain as another Ette X-Files till the end of Bach world for me....I feel exactly the same way, since I don’t understand how Andi could possibly have let Nick go!!   

[sdmom]

Obviously Nick didn't make friends with all of the guys, which I think is perfectly normal and fine, but the friends he made are loyal , like Nick S and JJ. I wonder if Marquel, or anyone else will visit him anytime soon.
My husband was out of town and finally got back yesterday, so I told him, briefly, what happened in AFTR and asked him what he thought. He said it's between Nick, Andi and Josh, and the three of them should work things out in privately, then he turned around and said he though it's a waste of my time to watch such a silly show. IF he only knew how much more time I spent on this board!!  He definitely would take my computer, my iPad and my phone away.

[SueSt]

I 100% agree with both Sue and Mura! How surprising ...   

Andi is no Barbie Doll ... she's got a lot of sides to her and like all of us, a lot of flaws. That said, the Andi we saw with Nick (the guy/relationship that she "aspired" to) during the season was a whole lot different than the bitchy and cold Andi from end of production to today. Will the real Andi please stand up?

And, if the "real" Andi is the one who actually complained about Josh chewing with his mouth open in the People Magazine interview, well, Nick is very lucky to be hanging with his buds instead of getting publicly humiliated like poor Josh.

Wow MVMOM, I hadn't heard that about Andi criticizing Josh, already!!!    
I feel bad for Andi, because of what she gave up with Nick... and what I anticipate, sooner than later, will be a lot of regret!!

[nutty1]

Obviously Nick didn't make friends with all of the guys, which I think is perfectly normal and fine, but the friends he made are loyal , like Nick S and JJ. I wonder if Marquel, or anyone else will visit him anytime soon.
My husband was out of town and finally got back yesterday, so I told him, briefly, what happened in AFTR and asked him what he thought. He said it's between Nick, Andi and Josh, and the three of them should work things out in privately, then he turned around and said he though it's a waste of my time to watch such a silly show. IF he only knew how much more time I spent on this board!!  He definitely would take my computer, my iPad and my phone away.

GASP!!! Are you telling me this isn't normal and we all have a problem???   

[alwaystulips]

I 100% agree with both Sue and Mura! How surprising ...   

Andi is no Barbie Doll ... she's got a lot of sides to her and like all of us, a lot of flaws. That said, the Andi we saw with Nick (the guy/relationship that she "aspired" to) during the season was a whole lot different than the bitchy and cold Andi from end of production to today. Will the real Andi please stand up?

And, if the "real" Andi is the one who actually complained about Josh chewing with his mouth open in the People Magazine interview, well, Nick is very lucky to be hanging with his buds instead of getting publicly humiliated like poor Josh.

Wow MVMOM, I hadn't heard that about Andi criticizing Josh, already!!!    
I feel bad for Andi, because of what she gave up with Nick... and what I anticipate, sooner than later, will be a lot of regret!!

I realize this is a Nick Fan Forum, and there's a lot to like about Nick. But, to address the point above, IMO the food chewing thing is something that Josh and Andi are finding humor in. He joked about her growly face, too. I see a lot of fun humor and security in their relationship. Josh tweeted the People article, and I doubt highly that he feels humiliated by it.

I hope Nick finds the love of his life. He has so much to give someone.

[SueSt]

[Guest]

I am going today! Will be on the lookout.  He might not be going 3 days in a row though.  That's a lot.

Have fun and make sure to bring your camera just in case!

If you see him, ask him about the bracelet please.

As far as the clues this season, I'm a tad bitter about the crunchy peanut butter tweets from Nick and his dad. You don't screw with your most loyal fans and the timing leaves no doubt in my mind that they were.

Andi told her sister about how Nick sees her soul and describes the intensity at MTP. Seems like Nick is still the F1 at that moment. Then she's calling Josh "babe" in the next scene. Conclusion: by that point she was acting, so the only question is when did the acting begin or was it all an act? I'm sure poor Nick wonders that too.

Remember in the bloopers when Andi is doing an ITM and the toilet flushes? Andi laughs, "at least they're washing their hands." It could have been said during the season, but i sensed it was a laugh about Dylan (not washing hands) which would mean it was post filming. Was that a look at Andi faking her ITMs?

ITA with the ATFR being an extension of the Nick show and ending with grumpy cat. TPTB do not like Andi. She was a good sport about grumpy cat, but ouch! that was a jab at her, especially since the proposal was left out.

[notarose]

Doesn't seem to matter what Nick wears.

sanfordjaclyn Oh hey Nick! #thebachelorette #lollapalooza #chicago
http://websta.me/p/778910223559974847_183478478


neatmethod http://www.neatmethod.com
Twitter:
Our @hkgilly would be spending #Lolla with these two - @nick_viall28 &@jjobrien #Lollapalooza #Bachelorette #BachelorNation #AndisMissingOut #theNEATlife
http://websta.me/p/778959990142904630_18388433

[Guest]

“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.”
― Elie Wiesel

Wow, Happy, this quote by Elie Wiesel really touched me… because this is what I saw this past week with Nick and Andi.  Maybe it was real or maybe it was put on as a defense mechanism, but Andi’s lack of compassion and empathy toward Nick were extremely disturbing; the seeming indifference Andi showed to a man who had told her he wanted to marry her and was in love with her and was there literally pouring his heart out to her was soul destroying… and is one of the key reasons I’m having trouble moving on.  My heart still breaks for Nick.

So the "crazy week" is over now and Nick will return to his life, certainly with more information and insight… but in truth, still with heartache, knowing that what he had with Andi was real for him… and working to reconcile his head and his heart.  Drew said it took him a couple of months… and so given what we saw in terms of Nick’s connection and commitment to Andi, I don’t imagine his transition will be any quicker.  Wanting and wishing for it to happen quickly will not help.  Friends telling him he dodged a bullet or she was not worthy will not help.  People telling him his true love is around the corner will not help.  Only time will help Nick find his way forward.

This is a great quote, and I enjoyed reading what you wrote, Sue.  You really have a good take on what is going on with Nick.  I remember reading once that indifference was the most hostile form of communication.  If you have ever been ignored or treated with indifference, you know how painful it is.  I do.  Still, I'd rather feel that pain and be on the receiving end of it than to treat anyone that way.  I'm all about open communication no matter what the issue.  I just couldn't treat anyone I care about with indifference.  So, hopefully Nick has come to the same conclusion that it is better in the end to be the one who acts with love and open communication.  

I'm good at getting off on a tangent.  It's my specialty.  Anyhoo - great quote Happy!

[Guest]

Obviously Nick didn't make friends with all of the guys, which I think is perfectly normal and fine, but the friends he made are loyal , like Nick S and JJ. I wonder if Marquel, or anyone else will visit him anytime soon.
My husband was out of town and finally got back yesterday, so I told him, briefly, what happened in AFTR and asked him what he thought. He said it's between Nick, Andi and Josh, and the three of them should work things out in privately, then he turned around and said he though it's a waste of my time to watch such a silly show. IF he only knew how much more time I spent on this board!!  He definitely would take my computer, my iPad and my phone away.

GASP!!! Are you telling me this isn't normal and we all have a problem???   

LOL again! I think I told you I've been on computer restriction a few times this past month. (ha ha!)

[SueSt]

I am going today! Will be on the lookout.  He might not be going 3 days in a row though.  That's a lot.

Have fun and make sure to bring your camera just in case!

If you see him, ask him about the bracelet please.

As far as the clues this season, I'm a tad bitter about the crunchy peanut butter tweets from Nick and his dad. You don't screw with your most loyal fans and the timing leaves no doubt in my mind that they were.

Andi told her sister about how Nick sees her soul and describes the intensity at MTP. Seems like Nick is still the F1 at that moment. Then she's calling Josh "babe" in the next scene. Conclusion: by that point she was acting, so the only question is when did the acting begin or was it all an act? I'm sure poor Nick wonders that too.

Remember in the bloopers when Andi is doing an ITM and the toilet flushes? Andi laughs, "at least they're washing their hands." It could have been said during the season, but i sensed it was a laugh about Dylan (not washing hands) which would mean it was post filming. Was that a look at Andi faking her ITMs?

ITA with the ATFR being an extension of the Nick show and ending with grumpy cat. TPTB do not like Andi. She was a good sport about grumpy cat, but ouch! that was a jab at her, especially since the proposal was left out.

Grace, good post -
Interesting points about the PB tweets
A big question for me is when... when did Andi turn from Nick to Josh.  I actually don't think Andi was acting at Nick's MTP... I thought Nick was F1, but his MTP date was first.... and maybe it was a combination of the impression Josh made on her family and her LCD with Josh that turned the tide... because for sure by Nick's LCD something was different.

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