Re: Nick Viall Bachelorette 10 - Fan Forum - Updates - Discussion - Thread #9

[Pia1]

Why It's Wrong To Condemn The Bachelorette's Nick
 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peggy-drexler/why-its-wrong-to-condemn_b_5638714.html

Sorry, but I find this article and many others that make the debate about gender bias simplistic and off the mark.
The real issue for me in ATFR is not about whether it's more acceptable for women than men to feel used after sex without love ...but about Nick trying to understand why Andi had sex with him if she knew how important the intimacy was to him and was not in love with him

I second this. I've noticed that also in the other articles I've read.

[rosesrREd]

Why It's Wrong To Condemn The Bachelorette's Nick
 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peggy-drexler/why-its-wrong-to-condemn_b_5638714.html

Sorry, but I find this article and many others that make the debate about gender bias simplistic and off the mark.
The real issue for me in ATFR is not about whether it's more acceptable for women than men to feel used after sex without love ...but about Nick trying to understand why Andi had sex with him if she knew how important the intimacy was to him and was not in love with him

I agree. My beef with Andi isn't that she had sex with both men, but rather how she played with Nick's heart. If she knew Josh was it from day one she shouldn't of had sex with Nick. She come out at the ATFR could as ice. My guess she did that to appear Josh, because I get a jealous vibe from him. I think her feelings were stronger for Nick than she led on, because she knew Josh was watching backstage. If she would have been honest with her feelings, the comment by Nick wouldn't have been made. Since she told Josh it was him from the beginning, she couldn't let her true feelings for Nick to be known.

[Catdwoman50]

Why It's Wrong To Condemn The Bachelorette's Nick
 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peggy-drexler/why-its-wrong-to-condemn_b_5638714.html

Sorry, but I find this article and many others that make the debate about gender bias simplistic and off the mark.
The real issue for me in ATFR is not about whether it's more acceptable for women than men to feel used after sex without love ...but about Nick trying to understand why Andi had sex with him if she knew how important the intimacy was to him and was not in love with him

I second this. I've noticed that also in the other articles I've read.  

Living in the WashDC area though, I can see this becoming a political conversation regarding gender bias and double standards. These people are not really fans of the show so they have no stake in the feelings of the people in the show or their fans (like we would). It's their take on what's important or the key take away from the current conversation. I totally get it and enjoying it. Whatever it takes to further our cause as Nick is a good guy and as genuine as it gets - wish more men would be like him.

[isittrue]

Why It's Wrong To Condemn The Bachelorette's Nick
 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peggy-drexler/why-its-wrong-to-condemn_b_5638714.html

Sorry, but I find this article and many others that make the debate about gender bias simplistic and off the mark.
The real issue for me in ATFR is not about whether it's more acceptable for women than men to feel used after sex without love ...but about Nick trying to understand why Andi had sex with him if she knew how important the intimacy was to him and was not in love with him

I second this. I've noticed that also in the other articles I've read.  

Unfortunately, that is the main debate. In this world of stereotypes, it seems ok for a man to love and leave them and is commonplace for the woman to feel used. In Nick's case, it was reverse, Nick did feel used and hurt whereas Andi was cavalier about the deed. I don't agree that this should ever be the case. To each their own, but I have set a higher standard for myself and like, Nick, I equate sex with love. When my children are older, I will teach them to have the same values.

[isittrue]

Why It's Wrong To Condemn The Bachelorette's Nick
 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peggy-drexler/why-its-wrong-to-condemn_b_5638714.html

Sorry, but I find this article and many others that make the debate about gender bias simplistic and off the mark.
The real issue for me in ATFR is not about whether it's more acceptable for women than men to feel used after sex without love ...but about Nick trying to understand why Andi had sex with him if she knew how important the intimacy was to him and was not in love with him

I agree. My beef with Andi isn't that she had sex with both men, but rather how she played with Nick's heart. If she knew Josh was it from day one she shouldn't of had sex with Nick. She come out at the ATFR could as ice. My guess she did that to appear Josh, because I get a jealous vibe from him.  I think her feelings were stronger for Nick than she led on, because she knew Josh was watching backstage. If she would have been honest with her feelings, the comment by Nick wouldn't have been made. Since she told Josh it was him from the beginning, she couldn't let her true feelings for Nick to be known.

That is an interesting viewpoint, but I have given up on understanding Andi and her feelings and motives at this point. She has uttered so much conflicting bs the last few interviews, I cannot even begin to understand or relate to her.

[happygolucky]

Yeah but the article is spot on something ...
most people who have a problem with him saying what he did ...
is not because he said it
but because they have a problem with female sexuality being equal to men's.
Most people who criticize Nick for "outing a private matter" are really uncomfortable with the thought of a woman choosing to be sexual with someone else who isn't going to be her husband.
And there is a double standard in gender equality. Of course with that, they are missing the point of the issue that Nick wanted to talk about.

[Guest]

The issue to me is that in the unnatural bach world, the lead has all [or most of] the power in the relationship. In that power position, Andi's actions were selfish and thoughtless at best - and narcissistic, egotistical and mean-spirited at worst. She needs to own that instead of being p*ssed that he told the world they had sex.

[SueSt]

Why It's Wrong To Condemn The Bachelorette's Nick
 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peggy-drexler/why-its-wrong-to-condemn_b_5638714.html

Sorry, but I find this article and many others that make the debate about gender bias simplistic and off the mark.
The real issue for me in ATFR is not about whether it's more acceptable for women than men to feel used after sex without love ...but about Nick trying to understand why Andi had sex with him if she knew how important the intimacy was to him and was not in love with him

I agree. My beef with Andi isn't that she had sex with both men, but rather how she played with Nick's heart. If she knew Josh was it from day one she shouldn't of had sex with Nick. She come out at the ATFR could as ice. My guess she did that to appear Josh, because I get a jealous vibe from him.  I think her feelings were stronger for Nick than she led on, because she knew Josh was watching backstage. If she would have been honest with her feelings, the comment by Nick wouldn't have been made. Since she told Josh it was him from the beginning, she couldn't let her true feelings for Nick to be known.

I so agree with your post RR.  
YES YES YES to how she played with Nick's heart !!!!
Game over if she had said: I fell in love with 2 men.. but ultimately chose the one I felt was a better fit.  
I think it would have been hard, but Nick would have been able to accept this explanation and move on.
Instead, failing to acknowledge the truth led to Nick's questions, media backlash, Murray backlash?? and doubts about the authenticity of her connection with Josh.

[GuardianAngel]

Bringing the topic back on track. TBT to a time before the insanity.

nick_viall28
11 months ago

[happygolucky]

  for a second I thought he posted it, because we were asking for a pic with his hair straightened. Thank you GA for making us shut-up and turn off our thoughts for a minute to observe.

[notarose]

http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news/155313/The-Bachelorette-Runner-Up-Nick-Viall-Reveals-How-He-Got-Closure-After-Sleeping-With-Andi-Dorfman

[Guest]

RS was also certain last yr it wouldn 't be JP.... Arie would be more fun and interesting imo than Chris

Interestingly enough, RS has almost always been initially wrong about who the lead would be. During Jillian's season, he said it would be Reid. During Ali's season, he said it would be Chris L. During Brad's season, he said it would be Emily. During Ashley's season, he said it would be Ryan. During Ben's season, he said that it would be Kacie or Lindzi. During Emily's season, he said it would be Roberto. During Sean's season, he said it would Lindsay. And, for Des's season, he said it would be Drew. The only ones he got right were Ali and Andi.

So, that's all to say, I don't think his "sources" are that reliable when it comes to who the Bachelor/ette is.

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