Re: Andi Dorfman & Josh Murray - Media Thread - Fan Forum - Discussion Thread #4

[nannymargie]

I wonder if Josh is going to stay in atl. He did move there before he knew Andi so it's not like she was the reason but it'll be interesting to see what he does.

I'm also very curious to see what Andi decides to do now that she's unemployed, doesn't have an apt, and has to start her life from scratch almost. I'm also wondering if she'll stay in atl or possibly move somewhere else. Maybe it'll be along the lines of JK Rowling but not at dramatic: "rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I built my life."

My hopes are that they both stay in Atl and one day meet up again and get back together away from the limelight.

[Guest]

My opinion is this, it takes two to make a relationship , this is what I hate about a break up of these bachelor couples, it's always the blame game. No one is perfect we are all flawed, 99% of these couples don't make it. Andi is not the evil witch and Josh is not a saint they are just two people who couldn't make their relationship work out of the bachelor bubble.

I actually think they worked outside of the bubble. They were together 8months after filming; that is success in this franchise. The bubble wears off at the 3 months mark after filming and that's when most of the bach couple break it off. I'm surprised tho they broke up because they seemed to have a lot that could have worked in their favor but it is what it is.

[AnandaMarie]

Yeah they obviously truly loved each other - that was evident. But their relationship progressed much quicker than any other bach rship (because they didn't have to relocate) and generally much quicker than any normal rship bc they started living together straightaway. I think they probably at the end of the day just realised they were not going to work in the long term, which explains Joshs deleted IG pic and brians tweet about deciding between what you want now and in the future. I don't think it's fair to put the blame on Andi, I do think she was in it for love and is ready to get married but I don't think she is ready to have kids - however I don't think that that was the main reason for their break up bc if you truly believe you are meant to be with someone, you would be willing to compromise.

Yeah I don't know if she's ready to have kids now either. But I hope that some time apart will change things and hopefully they'll try to make it work because I think they BOTH truly love each other.

[AnandaMarie]

I wonder if Josh is going to stay in atl. He did move there before he knew Andi so it's not like she was the reason but it'll be interesting to see what he does.

I'm also very curious to see what Andi decides to do now that she's unemployed, doesn't have an apt, and has to start her life from scratch almost. I'm also wondering if she'll stay in atl or possibly move somewhere else. Maybe it'll be along the lines of JK Rowling but not at dramatic: "rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I built my life."

My hopes are that they both stay in Atl and one day meet up again and get back together away from the limelight.

Yes yes yes!! I hope and pray that will happen

[aviej]

I remember how Andi was at a football game as was just enamored by a baby there and Josh commented that she'd make a great mom some day. Why play with kids if it's not your thing? Andi even loved how Josh interacted with the kids at the baseball game in DR, why note that he'd be a great father if you're not interested in having a family? There's just so much I don't understand, it doesn't add up. I can see why Cody and Michelle broke up, I can see why Nikki and JPG broke up, I see why Jeff and Em broke up and all the others, but I don't get this....For my own sanity so that I can go back sleeping properly and focusing on work I need answers.

[sara11]

I remember how Andi was at a football game as was just enamored by a baby there and Josh commented that she'd make a great mom some day. Why play with kids if it's not your thing? Andi even loved how Josh interacted with the kids at the baseball game in DR, why note that he'd be a great father if you're not interested in having a family? There's just so much I don't understand, it doesn't add up. I can see why Cody and Michelle broke up, I can see why Nikki and JPG broke up, I see why Jeff and Em broke up and all the others, but I don't get this....For my own sanity so that I can go back sleeping properly and focusing on work I need answers.

I think she probably only wants kids in like 3 or 4 years, not never.

[aviej]

I still think that's negotiable. There are some couples where one party initially doesn't want any and the other does, and I have seen them compromise. I do think that Andi overanalyses. She doesn't need to have everything all lined up. They can always figure out together when is a mutally acceptable time. Josh did say that they'd wait for a couple years in one interview and in another he said they'd wait till she's ready. No way he was giving up the love of his life because he can't have kids in 2015 or 2016, IMO. He was ready to wait a bit even though his personal preference would have been right away.

[AnandaMarie]

I remember how Andi was at a football game as was just enamored by a baby there and Josh commented that she'd make a great mom some day. Why play with kids if it's not your thing? Andi even loved how Josh interacted with the kids at the baseball game in DR, why note that he'd be a great father if you're not interested in having a family? There's just so much I don't understand, it doesn't add up. I can see why Cody and Michelle broke up, I can see why Nikki and JPG broke up, I see why Jeff and Em broke up and all the others, but I don't get this....For my own sanity so that I can go back sleeping properly and focusing on work I need answers.

I think she probably only wants kids in like 3 or 4 years, not never.

Yeah if i remember correctly, in an interview after they got engaged, the interviewer asked how long for kids. Josh said yesterday and Andi said 'couple years for me '. She does want what Josh wants, he wants it now and she wants it later.

[AnandaMarie]

I still think that's negotiable. There are some couples where one party initially doesn't want any and the other does, and I have seen them compromise. I do think that Andi overanalyses. She doesn't need to have everything all lined up. They can always figure out together when is a mutally acceptable time. Josh did say that they'd wait for a couple years in one interview and in another he said they'd wait till she's ready. No way he was giving up the love of his life because he can't have kids in 2015 or 2016, IMO. He was ready to wait a bit even though his personal preference would have been right away.

Yeah that's the thing, if they did break up because of different priorities relating to kids etc. I think that they can get back together and compromise on something.

[jlccaz]

They had loads and loads of time alone in Atlanta, for months and months.  My view is that killed it -- the usual, banal situation of show bubble followed by really getting to know one another.

Also, in terms of depth of feeling and commitment even at the end of the show bubble, we can all admit that Andi's proposal speech was "off" -- multitude of posts on here even by diehard fans noting so at the time.  It was a really weird (head not heart) speech and we all knew it.  I wonder if she didn't have reservations even then -- after LCD she sat on that sofa with him, thinking and over-thinking and at the end of the day, he projected all that (over?)-confidence onto her, and she bought stock in Josh not Nick (who was All About the Doubts).  

Post-show their hopes were Sky High for paid opportunities, personal appearances, endorsement opportunities, etc., and if we are honest, really very little of substance came their way, notwithstanding the PR agency's success at getting local mags to print pretty pictures, etc.  They really put the couple out there in Atlanta, and it seems that no material $$ opportunities (i.e.., something with long term possibility for building a life, vs. short term cash) came their way.

Sean / Cat had the extra cash from DWTS to buy time to launch his book, her various fashion/style comps (and of course, their own personal relationship).

Chris S. went right back to his job at the bank, while Des had the perfect "fit" between her education/training pre show and her modest celebrity brand post show (bridal design).

Even if Josh is still on the roster at Capstone (a largely commission based job that pays exactly what you put into it), his financial prospects remain undeveloped there, as evidenced by (a) pre show move to Atlanta, and (b) post show launch of an Adovocare distributorship (insert rant about ALL MLM businesses, expecially those in the nutritional supplement category).  I NEVER had the impression Andi was "all-in" on that business.  Maybe people who attended some of those events saw a sincerity in her commitment.  But I wonder if there is simply mutual lack of professional clarity and direction making Joint Decision-making about what to do and where to live, etc. prone to conflicts.  It is a fair generalization that men (and probably Andi too) require confidence and security in their career stability and progress in order to avoid a host of negative behaviors and emotions that are driven by such feelings of fear and insecurity.  And Josh carries that constant ex-pro athlete, brother as a pro athlete, experience like a ball and chain.  He seemed to be looking at marriage as a way to save himself, the game changer, as opposed to really exorcising his old demons from Baseball, UGA athletics, etc., by finding genuine professional fulfillment on his own.

Add in the respective family dynamics?   There's definitely something amiss there, that none of us really understand.

All in all, a very stressful situation, playing out in the public eye somewhat, with two strong willed, hot-tempered people crammed into a too-small apartment, squabbling (do any of us think Andi didn't bicker, etc.), and getting depressing reports from their PR agency about their $$ prospects.  

Many of us posted that they needed to turn to Real Life not Celebrity Life post show to have a chance.  I think their choices in hindsight speak to a lack of commitment to the idea of marriage to him on her part at a minimum.  

So in hindsight the breakup strikes me as just the usual for this show:  let's see what happens when the producers and cameras disappear.  

All of the above is intended to be DESCRIPTIVE of a mismatch, not critical of either.

[AnandaMarie]

Sorry but I dont agree with you. I think they were perfect together but made some mistakes along the way. Hopefully that can be fixed.

[Alanna]

Good post and analysis JL. I also tend to think that the lack of career direction and the AdvoCrap contributed here.

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