Bachelorette 10 - Andi Dorfman - Episode 10 - MTP-LCD-FRC- July 28/14 *Spoilers & Sleuthing* #2 - Discussion

ironcat wrote:Regarding the seeming contradiction regarding what Andi said at the FRC about being in love with Josh from day 1 and what she said on JK about not making her decision until the day of the FRC, I guess I heard things differently than most did.  To me, what she said to Josh at the FRC was that the feelings he gave her from their first meeting and from every interaction since, she now, in retrospect, understands was love, although she didn't realize it at the time.  It's kind of a revisionist history if you will, but I really believe her when she said on JK that she didn't completely decide that she was going to choose Josh (and fully accept that she was madly in love with him) until that last day, which is probably why she felt it was "okay" to sleep with Nick, because IMO she still hadn't firmly made up her mind who she was choosing at that point.  I wonder if she had had the FD with Josh first, would she have done the same thing?    I think the producers may have scheduled Nick's date first for a reason.

I certainly get why Nick fans and people who don't like Andi are outraged at her, she certainly could have handled things better.  Someone weeks ago described Andi's methodology on this show as bloodless, and I really think this sums it up.  I agree that she has been pissed off at Nick for the past 2 months, and receiving that letter from him where he not only poured his heart out, but also questioned her judgment and courage, probably only made her feel colder towards him, especially as she seems to be over the moon smitten with Josh right now.  It's no wonder that she wouldn't give an inch about using the "L" word in relation to anything about Nick, even though it obviously would have been far more gracious of her if she had.  But she is stubborn, and even moreso when she's pissed.

Regarding being in love, everyone gets so hung up on saying the words, but as so many alumni from this show have said in the past, none of them are probably really "in love" until after they get to know each other once the show ends, and IMO that includes Andi, Josh and Nick.  That's not to say they don't develop intense feelings that resemble love; there's no doubt that Nick was hurting (the poor guy was shaking).  And anyway, until they develop a scientific test to determine/prove who is really in love and who isn't, it's all subjective and a matter of semantics IMO.

Just chiming in, before this story grows legs and runs away, that Andi and Josh did NOT meet before, only that they saw each other across the room at a club, but didn't speak.  Actually, I'm not sure Andi even acknowledged that she saw Josh, but he definitely saw her and knew that he wasn't allowed to approach her.  That's hardly a big deal in my book.

eta tnmom, just saw we posted the same thing at the same time.    

ironcat wrote:Regarding the seeming contradiction regarding what Andi said at the FRC about being in love with Josh from day 1 and what she said on JK about not making her decision until the day of the FRC, I guess I heard things differently than most did.  To me, what she said to Josh at the FRC was that the feelings he gave her from their first meeting and from every interaction since, she now, in retrospect, understands was love, although she didn't realize it at the time.  It's kind of a revisionist history if you will, but I really believe her when she said on JK that she didn't completely decide that she was going to choose Josh (and fully accept that she was madly in love with him) until that last day, which is probably why she felt it was "okay" to sleep with Nick, because IMO she still hadn't firmly made up her mind who she was choosing at that point.  I wonder if she had had the FD with Josh first, would she have done the same thing?    I think the producers may have scheduled Nick's date first for a reason.

I certainly get why Nick fans and people who don't like Andi are outraged at her, she certainly could have handled things better.  Someone weeks ago described Andi's methodology on this show as bloodless, and I really think this sums it up.  I agree that she has been pissed off at Nick for the past 2 months, and receiving that letter from him where he not only poured his heart out, but also questioned her judgment and courage, probably only made her feel colder towards him, especially as she seems to be over the moon smitten with Josh right now.  It's no wonder that she wouldn't give an inch about using the "L" word in relation to anything about Nick, even though it obviously would have been far more gracious of her if she had.  But she is stubborn, and even moreso when she's pissed.

Regarding being in love, everyone gets so hung up on saying the words, but as so many alumni from this show have said in the past, none of them are probably really "in love" until after they get to know each other once the show ends, and IMO that includes Andi, Josh and Nick.  That's not to say they don't develop intense feelings that resemble love; there's no doubt that Nick was hurting (the poor guy was shaking).  And anyway, until they develop a scientific test to determine/prove who is really in love and who isn't, it's all subjective and a matter of semantics IMO.

Just chiming in, before this story grows legs and runs away, that Andi and Josh did NOT meet before, only that they saw each other across the room at a club, but didn't speak.  Actually, I'm not sure Andi even acknowledged that she saw Josh, but he definitely saw her and knew that he wasn't allowed to approach her.  That's hardly a big deal in my book.

eta tnmom, just saw we posted the same thing at the same time.    

Tnmomof4 wrote:My take on what Andi was trying to communicate to Josh during the beginning of the proposal was that it took the whole season, it's ups and downs, possibly her relationship with Nick, for her to realize that she actually was in love with Josh from the start.  In other words, she really didn't know, or maybe let herself know, that she loved him until that morning, after everything had played out and at that point she realized she had loved him all along.
Not to justify her sleeping with both, but I really think (at least in her mind in those moments) that at the time she did it, she still was trying to give this "different" connection she had with Nick a chance and I guess, in her world, sleeping with him would give her clarity.  This was a connection th she never had had before and she confused about whether it was love or notl  She hadn't let herself totally believe that she loved Josh yet. Not my cup of tea, but I think it's what's she needed to be sure.

CHO wrote:Nick was an easy target - and tptb and Andi rolled with it.  He talked a lot, yes, but that made it easy for Andi - she didn't have to say much.  Imo - it's one thing to lead the contestants on - and sleeping together is beyond what is necessary - but ..... how could Andi do this when she is obviously in love with Josh ?  That's what baffles me !  Are you not thinking about what Josh might feel if he found out ?  How would she feel if Josh was sleeping around days before he was proposing ?  Unbelievable.  Maybe it's a good thing - maybe future bachelors and bachelorettes will use their heads in the future.

ironcat wrote:Regarding the seeming contradiction regarding what Andi said at the FRC about being in love with Josh from day 1 and what she said on JK about not making her decision until the day of the FRC, I guess I heard things differently than most did.  To me, what she said to Josh at the FRC was that the feelings he gave her from their first meeting and from every interaction since, she now, in retrospect, understands was love, although she didn't realize it at the time.  It's kind of a revisionist history if you will, but I really believe her when she said on JK that she didn't completely decide that she was going to choose Josh (and fully accept that she was madly in love with him) until that last day, which is probably why she felt it was "okay" to sleep with Nick, because IMO she still hadn't firmly made up her mind who she was choosing at that point.  I wonder if she had had the FD with Josh first, would she have done the same thing?    I think the producers may have scheduled Nick's date first for a reason.

I certainly get why Nick fans and people who don't like Andi are outraged at her, she certainly could have handled things better.  Someone weeks ago described Andi's methodology on this show as bloodless, and I really think this sums it up.  I agree that she has been pissed off at Nick for the past 2 months, and receiving that letter from him where he not only poured his heart out, but also questioned her judgment and courage, probably only made her feel colder towards him, especially as she seems to be over the moon smitten with Josh right now.  It's no wonder that she wouldn't give an inch about using the "L" word in relation to anything about Nick, even though it obviously would have been far more gracious of her if she had.  But she is stubborn, and even moreso when she's pissed.

Regarding being in love, everyone gets so hung up on saying the words, but as so many alumni from this show have said in the past, none of them are probably really "in love" until after they get to know each other once the show ends, and IMO that includes Andi, Josh and Nick.  That's not to say they don't develop intense feelings that resemble love; there's no doubt that Nick was hurting (the poor guy was shaking).  And anyway, until they develop a scientific test to determine/prove who is really in love and who isn't, it's all subjective and a matter of semantics IMO.

Just chiming in, before this story grows legs and runs away, that Andi and Josh did NOT meet before, only that they saw each other across the room at a club, but didn't speak.  Actually, I'm not sure Andi even acknowledged that she saw Josh, but he definitely saw her and knew that he wasn't allowed to approach her.  That's hardly a big deal in my book.

eta tnmom, just saw we posted the same thing at the same time.    

BKay wrote:I'm watching them on Kimmel now. Now she is saying that she didn't know for sure about Josh until the morning of the proposal.

She must be having selective amnesia between when they did the live show and Jimmy Kimmel. She clearly stated that she loved Josh from the beginning which is all good but she needs to stick to her story!!!!