Re: Bachelorette 10 - Andi Dorfman - Episode 8 - HTDs - Jul 07/14 *Spoilers & Sleuthing* - Discussion Thread #2

[Guest]

I find the hands interesting (hers). They are almost exact copy (position wise) with the other 3.

[pander3575]

Is she choking Josh?

  

Was it Cody that was teaching her how to choke during one of their 1-1 at a RC?   

[Guest]

Is she choking Josh?

  

Was it Cody that was teaching her how to choke during one of their 1-1 at a RC?   

Marquel i think?

[BachfanNY]

Is she choking Josh?

  

[BachfanNY]

  

Was it Cody that was teaching her how to choke during one of their 1-1 at a RC?   

Marquel i think?

Yup it was Marquel!

[ironcat]

I do see a lot of chemistry with Nick and there's the mental connection. I could see where Andi might think a relationship with him might be harder. He's not the type of guy she's used to dating and being with him might mean a move to Chicago. I think she could fit in with his family just fine and she's met some of his good friends already. My only beef with her at his HTD was when she was talking to Bella. You don't ask a 9 yr old if she'll accept you as a sister unless you mean it. It would have been easy to not say it because it wasn't an answer to one of the questions.

I think Andi fell for Chris' family and you could tell she was impressed that he has his own house. I don't see a relationship with him however and can't see her moving to the country. I lived in the country once but we were near a small city. Even so it wasn't our thing and only managed a year. You can't do that if you're with Chris. The farm is his career.

It's obvious that Andi has strong feelings for Josh. I think we all can agree that the chemistry is there in spades. They've shown them talk about him playing baseball and a little of her getting hurt in the past by previous bfs but other than that mostly superficial conversations. Andi strikes me as someone who'd like to have someone to talk about serious issues as well as the fun stuff. I'm not saying he's not that guy but just hope that she's not ignoring that side of her because of the chemistry. His family is probably more of a red flag for her. Not that they're not a nice family but it's not an easy dynamic to come into. MM appears to rule the roost and that won't change with a new addition. I like football but I wouldn't want to pay to fly to Sunday games. I doubt there's any VIP seats that people have mentioned. Players get tickets but that's about it.

Obviously Andi knows more about these guys than we do so we can only guess who is the best match. The real relationship starts after the show airs so assuming there is a f1 I guess we'll see.

Re: the bolded. considering that Bella promptly forgot everything that Andi told her (or misremembered it  :giggle: ), I'm pretty sure no harm was done. Kids really don't take things said as much to heart as we do, from my experience.

On another note and at the risk of being completely redundant, let me also applaud emusha for her very insightful comments (and all who chimed in)!    My own take: As much of a connection as Andi may have felt with Nick, I still think that Josh was the one she just felt she couldn't walk away from at the end of the day without always wondering, "what if?", and ultimately knew she had to at least give it a try, even if she had any reservations. He was her "dream man incarnated" and she realized she couldn't give that up and attempt a relationship with another without regretting it. Maybe that's what Nick means by the "safe choice", but it ultimately wouldn't be fair to him, if she's feeling that way, to have chosen him if even a small part of her couldn't let go of the "dream".

[Piper61]

I agree, all of the comments posted by and to emusha have been very enlightening and a wonderful read. I have to say, ironcat, that your take on why she chose Josh is spot on when it comes to Andi. And you are right, it would not have been fair to Nick nor herself for that matter.

[Catdwoman50]

I do see a lot of chemistry with Nick and there's the mental connection. I could see where Andi might think a relationship with him might be harder. He's not the type of guy she's used to dating and being with him might mean a move to Chicago. I think she could fit in with his family just fine and she's met some of his good friends already. My only beef with her at his HTD was when she was talking to Bella. You don't ask a 9 yr old if she'll accept you as a sister unless you mean it. It would have been easy to not say it because it wasn't an answer to one of the questions.

I think Andi fell for Chris' family and you could tell she was impressed that he has his own house. I don't see a relationship with him however and can't see her moving to the country. I lived in the country once but we were near a small city. Even so it wasn't our thing and only managed a year. You can't do that if you're with Chris. The farm is his career.

It's obvious that Andi has strong feelings for Josh. I think we all can agree that the chemistry is there in spades. They've shown them talk about him playing baseball and a little of her getting hurt in the past by previous bfs but other than that mostly superficial conversations. Andi strikes me as someone who'd like to have someone to talk about serious issues as well as the fun stuff. I'm not saying he's not that guy but just hope that she's not ignoring that side of her because of the chemistry. His family is probably more of a red flag for her. Not that they're not a nice family but it's not an easy dynamic to come into. MM appears to rule the roost and that won't change with a new addition. I like football but I wouldn't want to pay to fly to Sunday games. I doubt there's any VIP seats that people have mentioned. Players get tickets but that's about it.

Obviously Andi knows more about these guys than we do so we can only guess who is the best match. The real relationship starts after the show airs so assuming there is a f1 I guess we'll see.

Re: the bolded. considering that Bella promptly forgot everything that Andi told her (or misremembered it  :giggle: ), I'm pretty sure no harm was done.  Kids really don't take things said as much to heart as we do, from my experience.

On another note and at the risk of being completely redundant, let me also applaud emusha for her very insightful comments (and all who chimed in)!     My own  take: As much of a connection as Andi may have felt with Nick, I still think that Josh was the one she just felt she couldn't walk away from at the end of the day without always wondering, "what if?", and ultimately knew she had to at least give it a try, even if she had any reservations.  He was her "dream man incarnated" and she realized she couldn't give that up and attempt a relationship with another without regretting it.  Maybe that's what Nick means by the "safe choice", but it ultimately wouldn't be fair to him, if she's feeling that way, to have chosen him if even a small part of her couldn't let go of the "dream".

ironcat - ITA. In the end almost all of the leads pick the one they can't do without. As Emusha alluded to it's about Andi's current priorities and current state in life. IMO, my 28 year old self would have picked Josh but after a decade of experience and life lessons and a couple of kids, I pick Nick or even Chris.

[Longhornfan]

Since we are all just stating what we are seeing here, which I am loving by the way, I want to add my two cents.  I so agree that Andi has spent a lot of time in her own head.  I first saw it with poor Eric.  After Eric used the words actress and poker face, Andi immediately went into her head and basically did not hear another word that Eric said after that.  She totally missed what he was trying to say, because she got angry.

I get the feeling that perhaps Andi is used to "fighting", rather than having calm back and forth conversations when conflicts arise.  And I found it interesting how different both Josh and Nick reacted to her interrogations of them.

Here is Andi's reaction to Josh being upset with the lie detector test.  She thought that they had had their first "fight", and she left there still not knowing just how Josh really felt about her and wondering why he got so upset over the lie detector test, while the other guys didn't seem that upset about it.  And Josh left there not understanding why she still was questioning his feelings for her and not fully trusting him.  This is ONLY based on the EDIT that we were shown.  Josh fans, if all of that was resolved differently and was not shown to us, this is still what I observed while watching that scene.  JMO.

With Nick, Andi was concerned with why he was not getting along with the guys, and she brought up that the guys had said that Nick was flaunting that he was her frontrunner.  When Andi began interrogating Nick on his use of that word, she asked him if he thought that we was the frontrunner. Nick stopped, thought about what he was going to say and was able to calmly answer and communicate to her - without a fight breaking out.  Andi's response was something like "good enough".

I do see two different communication styles between Nick and Josh.  And I suspect that Andi is used to having fights break out, rather than calm discussions.  I do think that this is what Andi is most comfortable with.  There is not doubt in my mind that Andi needs to feel like she is in control of the situation, because letting go of that control is extremely scary for her.

Josh is the familiar.  Nick is the unknown.

[Alanna]

Since we are all just stating what we are seeing here, which I am loving by the way, I want to add my two cents.  I so agree that Andi has spent a lot of time in her own head.  I first saw it with poor Eric.  After Eric used the words actress and poker face, Andi immediately went into her head and basically did not hear another word that Eric said after that.  She totally missed what he was trying to say, because she got angry.

I get the feeling that perhaps Andi is used to "fighting", rather than having calm back and forth conversations when conflicts arise.  And I found it interesting how different both Josh and Nick reacted to her interrogations of them.

Here is Andi's reaction to Josh being upset with the lie detector test.  She thought that they had had their first "fight", and she left there still not knowing just how Josh really felt about her and wondering why he got so upset over the lie detector test, while the other guys didn't seem that upset about it.  And Josh left there not understanding why she still was questioning his feelings for her and not fully trusting him.  This is ONLY based on the EDIT that we were shown.  Josh fans, if all of that was resolved differently and was not shown to us, this is still what I observed while watching that scene.  JMO.

With Nick, Andi was concerned with why he was not getting along with the guys, and she brought up that the guys had said that Nick was flaunting that he was her frontrunner.  When Andi began interrogating Nick on his use of that word, she asked him if he thought that we was the frontrunner. Nick stopped, thought about what he was going to say and was able to calmly answer and communicate to her - without a fight breaking out.  Andi's response was something like "good enough".

I do see two different communication styles between Nick and Josh.  And I suspect that Andi is used to having fights break out, rather than calm discussions.  I do think that this is what Andi is most comfortable with.  There is not doubt in my mind that Andi needs to feel like she is in control of the situation, because letting go of that control is extremely scary for her.

Josh is the familiar.  Nick is the unknown.

Except after that one fight, Josh learned to never engage her like that again. Any other attempts to start any sort of power struggle with him are met with him laughing at her/teasing and just talking about it normally like they did during their Ghent date when they agreed he was frustrated and she was confused. That seemed normal and healthy from what we saw imo. They didn't handle the lie detector thing well but they both acknowledged it and ironed out whatever was going on.

[Cecilia]

Since we are all just stating what we are seeing here, which I am loving by the way, I want to add my two cents.  I so agree that Andi has spent a lot of time in her own head.  I first saw it with poor Eric.  After Eric used the words actress and poker face, Andi immediately went into her head and basically did not hear another word that Eric said after that.  She totally missed what he was trying to say, because she got angry.

I get the feeling that perhaps Andi is used to "fighting", rather than having calm back and forth conversations when conflicts arise.  And I found it interesting how different both Josh and Nick reacted to her interrogations of them.

Here is Andi's reaction to Josh being upset with the lie detector test.  She thought that they had had their first "fight", and she left there still not knowing just how Josh really felt about her and wondering why he got so upset over the lie detector test, while the other guys didn't seem that upset about it.  And Josh left there not understanding why she still was questioning his feelings for her and not fully trusting him.  This is ONLY based on the EDIT that we were shown.  Josh fans, if all of that was resolved differently and was not shown to us, this is still what I observed while watching that scene.  JMO.

With Nick, Andi was concerned with why he was not getting along with the guys, and she brought up that the guys had said that Nick was flaunting that he was her frontrunner.  When Andi began interrogating Nick on his use of that word, she asked him if he thought that we was the frontrunner. Nick stopped, thought about what he was going to say and was able to calmly answer and communicate to her - without a fight breaking out.  Andi's response was something like "good enough".

I do see two different communication styles between Nick and Josh.  And I suspect that Andi is used to having fights break out, rather than calm discussions.  I do think that this is what Andi is most comfortable with.  There is not doubt in my mind that Andi needs to feel like she is in control of the situation, because letting go of that control is extremely scary for her.

Josh is the familiar.  Nick is the unknown.

IMO (and from experience) it's better to not have two fighters in the relationship!

[Guest]

I think it's also a function of the fact that Josh just scoops her up, picks her up, all over her, and doesn't "ask" permission like the others seem to. He's "man handling" her, just like she wants.

Actually, she's in shoulders deep before he finished even putting his arms around her!

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