Re: Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - Thread #6

by Maggenzm Thu Jul 17, 2014 1:58 pm

BachfanNY wrote:
Cecilia wrote:
sophienette wrote:

Why Yikes? Josh said as much? He never loved enough to be fully committed, never had his heart broken before.

To me it is a red flag. JMO.

I didn't date much and was never in a committed relationship until I turned 25, that's when I fell and I'm happily married 7 years and counting! IMO, it makes me respect Josh even more that he chose not to enter into anything serious unless he was 100% sure. My red flag goes up when a guy has been in multiple committed relationships and they don't work out - makes me think he's just not ready to be married and I'm next in line to be dumped.

ITA, like Nick, he has had 2 breakups at least , and he was dumped at least twice based on his family comments which worth considering. That is a red flag to me, and I think its red Flag for Andi too, they are just not showing it, that 's why I think he is not going to be the next batch. JMO

by ag54 Thu Jul 17, 2014 2:03 pm

Count me in on the "married to the man who had never had a committed relationship" group. My husband met me when he was 27 and fell for me. He had never had a serious girlfriend, he said that any time he was with someone and it got hard, like the girl wanted to fight or pressure him, he was out. He said that I was the first girl he felt it was worth fighting for. Here we are 30 years later, still in love.

So, no, I don't think it's a red flag either.

by Maggenzm Thu Jul 17, 2014 2:18 pm

Cecilia wrote:
BachfanNY wrote:
Cecilia wrote:

To me it is a red flag. JMO.

I didn't date much and was never in a committed relationship until I turned 25, that's when I fell and I'm happily married 7 years and counting! IMO, it makes me respect Josh even more that he chose not to enter into anything serious unless he was 100% sure. My red flag goes up when a guy has been in multiple committed relationships and they don't work out - makes me think he's just not ready to be married and I'm next in line to be dumped.

Sometimes it's nice to have experience in being in a committed relationship before you propose to someone you have probably spent 48 hours with alone. JMO of course.

Why stay in a committed relationship if it's not working? I have a friend who was in a relationship for 9 years, had 2 kids, but she worked very hard to keep it going to the point where they got married. Because he was never committed to her, he never changed, still acted like a single man. After 8 years of marriage and 9 years of living together, She called a quits. She had wasted her life with a man who was not committed to her.
Time lost has never been regained. Don't waste your time! Life is too short.

I tell girls all the time. If a guy keeps dragging you along with the excuse that they are not ready for marriage, when you want to marry them. Set a deadline, if they still can't do it and you want to, dump them cus they just don't want to marry you, if they meet the right women, u see how quick they will marry them. Never fails.
So, good for Josh for not wasting women's time he didn't see a future with. high five

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 3:18 pm

i think these days it's considered the norm to have had a few serious relationships before settling down. that doesn't necessarily mean it is the healthiest or only way of doing things. i don't know how devout josh is and if that could have had anything to do with his dating style, but i used to go to a church that had a lot of hipsters and you'd see all these good-looking people not dating much at all and waiting for the one which invariably happened. it's a different way of doing things for sure but it isn't a red flag. it's just different.

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 3:24 pm

pander3575 wrote:
Cecilia wrote:
sophienette wrote:

Why Yikes? Josh said as much? He never loved enough to be fully committed, never had his heart broken before.

To me it is a red flag. JMO.
It isn't to me but that's probably because I have a son that wasn't in a committed relationship until he met his wife and he was older than Josh. He just didn't feel like wasting his time with girls he knew didn't fit him. He dated one girl he met in a bar and dated her for a little while but couldn't wait to leave for grad school. He fell head over heels for his wife. So what some see as red flags doesn't really mean that others that have had relationships work any better. JMO though.

I agree Pander... my hubby met me when he was 21. I was his first kiss. (a lot of issues in his family and he was a dad to his siblings until college, anyway...).
He was 26 when we got married, 11 years ago.
Some guys only need the one.

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 3:28 pm

That said, I understand it could be a red flag for some... it was for my family about my hubby!

by Georgia Lindsay Thu Jul 17, 2014 3:35 pm

pander3575 wrote:
Alanna wrote:
Cecilia wrote:According to the US Weekly article, a college friend of Josh's is quoted as saying that Josh has never been in a committed relationship in his 29 years. Yikes.
Weird, Josh himself talked about 2 different girlfriends he's said ILY to.
I think the girlfriends happened before Josh went to college during his baseball time. If this is really a college friend he may not have a clue about Josh's past relationships. I doubt Josh goes around telling his friends about his past girlfriends years ago. I imagine he dated some in college but he and Aaron said he hadn't been in a relationship in a long time.

Josh is not a "kiss and tell guy". Even evidenced by the guys in the house said he never talked about his and Andi's dates to them. Also, what we are supposed to think a good looking, great personality, gorgeous guy never had sex? That's hilarious, of course he has, they all have. But I took it mean he never had a relationship or an ILY where he wanted to marry the girl, and he has this with Andi.

I remember Chris Lambton interview, he said when he met Peyton the FIRST time, he felt like he'd be slapped up the side of his head, like "this is THE one", and she was and he was older than Josh. I feel that's what has happened to Josh with Andi. They all meet the ones they love eventually, even George Clooney, just took him a heck of alot longer and tons of hookups, but he found his girl too. And, obviously, Andi's ex wasn't the one she saw as her husband either, but see's it with Josh. That's life.

by Luvvy Fri Jul 18, 2014 1:50 pm

Andi is promoting Ben Fields song Extraordinary Light laugh out loud

. I'm sure part of it is that she's being told to do so but I think part of it is that she just really liked the song because it played for her and Josh in Ghent.

Check out and vote for the amazing song you heard on #thebachelorette by @iambenfields http://www.mtvu.com/music/ben-fields-hurray-for-the-riff-raff-meghan-trainor-samuel-l-cool-j-the-stationary-set/

by Guest Fri Jul 18, 2014 5:16 pm

Fan vid - for those that dont go in Fan thread!

Smiley

http://wp.me/p1Pls6-6eT

by rc49ers Fri Jul 18, 2014 6:59 pm

I voted for " Extraordinary Light" . Really liked the song .

rc :Nod:

by stuckinsc Fri Jul 18, 2014 7:10 pm

I bought Extraordinary Light on iTunes, love the song even if I am not Team Jodi.

I also think everyones path to happiness is not the same. I am on my second marriage, never thought I would divorce, but I let myself get pushed into the wrong marriage with the youthful arrogance of thinking I could make anything work. Now I have number two and it took him six years to convince me to say yes, but I am his first major relationship too.

The path to true love never runs smooth, so however anyone gets there good for them for getting there.

I don't blame Andi or Nick for having serious relationships and since Josh devoted the last five years to family and their needs I don't blame him for not having a serious relationship in that time either. Just glad that all three have shared their journey with us now.

by Maggenzm Fri Jul 18, 2014 10:33 pm

stuckinsc wrote:I bought Extraordinary Light on iTunes, love the song even if I am not Team Jodi.

I also think everyones path to happiness is not the same. I am on my second marriage, never thought I would divorce, but I let myself get pushed into the wrong marriage with the youthful arrogance of thinking I could make anything work. Now I have number two and it took him six years to convince me to say yes, but I am his first major relationship too.

The path to true love never runs smooth, so however anyone gets there good for them for getting there.

I don't blame Andi or Nick for having serious relationships and since Josh devoted the last five years to family and their needs I don't blame him for not having a serious relationship in that time either. Just glad that all three have shared their journey with us now.

ITA, what I noticed about the show is that all the participant's life change because of their experience, and I believe they all grow from this, whether they end up with the lead or not, their lives are touched by the lead and by the other contestants. It's a win, win. Many end up finding love. Looks like Drew just found love with Amy Long from JPG. Wishing them the best.

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