Juan Pablo Galavis - Nikki Ferrell - Bachelor 18 - Discussion

whit90 you are right. I do not know that as a fact. But my point still stands. Let me rephrase. As someone who used to (and may or may not still) watch porn, he should have known better.

Amberish wrote:

albean99 wrote:

BohemianNika wrote:I'm afraid this might be OT, but here goes:


English is not my first language and I wanted to make sure I have the exact meaning. How in the world does posting of somewhat revealing pictures equals to acting like a sl**? It must be a cultural thing, because in my country, it doesn't.

She attacked him on SM, which was stupid of her, and I strongly disagree with people who do this. He attacked back, which might have been understandable, had he used another word. But sl**? JPG himself admitted he watched some of Jenna's older videos. Hey, no shame in that. I personally think people are free to watch whatever they want as long as nobody was forced to make said video or harmed. But you don't get to call someone sl**, when you are a porn consumer! That is hypocrisy at it's best. All JMO.

I don't hate JPG. And I believe he isn't a terrible person. But sometimes he says really stupid things.

I don't think he had to call her anything but there are definitely less offensive comments he could have made. I don't agree with what she posted either but he's the one who has a public image. You'd think he'd have learned after the gay comments he made.

Have we forgotten the "retarded" controversy?

He and Nikki have done several charity events for children who have a disability . He is liked by a girl very much that has Down Syndrome her father has nothing but kind words for Juan and how happy is daughter is that Juan came into her life. I guess we forget the good things that Juan has done for charity and no he was not paid for most of these events. He has also done plenty on his own too.

What is a porn consumer? (i've seriously never heard this term)
Someone who is addicted to porn?
Someone who has seen porn before?
Someone who has seen porn once in a while--not daily, or weekly but maybe a few times in many years?
Someone who buys porn?
This, to me, seems so subjective.

I love this discussion. I have seen porn, don't really care for it, but have seen it. Just wondering, is "50 Shades of Grey" written porn? Then at least half the women in the USA are porn consumers.

Again, yes, JPG should have ignored this woman, since looking at her IG, she seems all about self promotion and all JPG did by responding is increasing her notoriety.

And I guess I just don't find sl** as offensive as most of you. As I said I find KK, Paris Hilton and many others to be quite sl****y. In my opinion, they use it to sell their brand. I do think a woman who the majority of their instagram pics are in lingerie or naked is sl****y. She is choosing to project that image out to the world. That is her right, but just own the behavior, so her showing annoyance at being called a sl** is pretty hypocritical, especially when she felt free to call a man she has never met a douche.

Bohemia, I was raised to think of sl** as someone who is promiscuous. My father actually called many outfits my big sister wore sl****y and I even got that occasionally too though I dressed much more conservatively than her. He would go as far as to tell us that we looked like we were trying to sell ourselves. He loved all women, but also acknowledged that people would have opinions of us based on they way we dressed and presented ourselves.

JPG says really stupid stuff sometimes and isn't always great at apologizing, but I also have seen him do really great stuff. As Whit or chinita pointed out he did a fund raiser with a girl with Down's syndrome and she adored him. That is not the act of a hateful person. He is a man who often puts his foot in his mouth. Some find him mysogenistic, I personally don't. He is like a lot of latin men who I know or have met.

JPG has many close friends who are women and even Carla seems to like and respect him.

I don't think he is perfect, but I think he overall is not a bad person. Others can feel about him however you want.

Oh, and no matter the cost of the ring, I would be thrilled if my husband took the time to notice what I liked and helped to ensure that I got it. That ring whoever bought and paid for it, was something Nikki had posted that she liked, helping her get something she likes is sweet, however that happened.

I wonder if Trista, Cat, Des and Andi consider their rings less special because their men didn't pay for them either? In Trista and Cat's case their men really didn't pay for either ring. Would it have been more special if JPG made sure they got her some big flashy ring?

Is there a handbook of offensive terms ranking one over the other? I really don't get him calling her a sl** being any worse than her calling him a douchebag. She started the name calling, and in my opinion, they are just firing at each other with derogatory terms to offend. Neither should have said it, but not that big of a deal to me, IMO.

Maybe I didn't explain myself properly. I really don't hate JPG. I generally don't hate people and try to focus on positive feelings. I don't even dislike him. Sure, he isn't my favorite lead, but neither is he the least favorite. As with all the other reality TV people (or just famous people), I think that we get to see some of them, but never the sum of them. I never tried to diminish any of his charitable work. I'll admit though, that watching him on TV sometimes drives me crazy. But that's really my problem, not his

About the sl** comment - as I stated before, I think they were both in the wrong. But I feel like his comment sends a message, that any woman who posts similar pictures is a sl** and I strongly disagree. This particular woman seems to be a lingerie model and she uses social media to promote herself. I don't see any relation between the kind of pictures she posts and the way she conducts her relationships.

Side note - Isn't it interesting that very often the same people who get all excited when a male pro on DWTS dances shirtless, seem to get all twisted when a female pro wears a skimpy outfit? (generally speaking, this is in no way directed on any of you). Also, try to google Karl Stefanovic - he wore the same suit on a TV for 1 year. And while his female colleagues got slammed for their clothing choices and hair styles on regular basis, literally nobody noticed that he wore the same freaking blue suit. So yeah, I believe that there are double standards.

As for the porn thing, the only reason I even brought it up is JPG's comment. I don't really care whether he still watches it or not. And I honestly don't think it's such a big deal. He did say himself that he did in the past. And in my opinion, someone who is (or was) ok with watching porn shouldn't call people who post naked (but actually not that revealing) pictures sl**s. To use the girl's words, I actually don't think that JPG is a douche, but I do think that this particular comment was douchy. Does that make sense?

Stuckinsc, I've heard people call 50 Shades of Grey a 'mommy porn'. I guess I would say it's a soft porn Well, badly written soft porn There are studies showing that women prefer written porn, because it leaves more space for imagination. So it probably makes sense that so many women in the US are it's consumers? Which brings me to the term porn consumer - can you tell that I studied economy and work in that field?   Also, how did I become the local expert on porn? I swear, I didn't watch that much of it  

Last thing, I did notice that this is a somewhat sensitive topic for some, and I really didn't mean to offend anyone! I'm sorry if I made anyone feel uncomfortable, it was never my intention  

MiaHawk wrote:

OK, Mia, I get it. This isn't your circus and these ain't your monkeys!!
Going back to some of the more recent postings:
The word sl** is not more offensive to me than many others. Context has a lot to do with how is term is viewed. I remember as a youth being drunk off my butt yelling through my sorority house at 2 am--"______________you wh*re! Where are you?" Believe it or not, it was a loving call out to a friend. It was not so loving to those trying to sleep, however.
I've never been a fan of the C word or the N word regardless of context.
Anyway, carryon.
Oh, I guess it is my circus. Sorry, Mia. No monkeys, just phants.

MiaHawk wrote:

You are not alone......

stuckinsc wrote:I appreciate all of your opinions.  But yes, when you act like a sl** you give people a right to call you a sl**.  That is my opinion.  

People should own their own behavior.  That is my opinion and I stick to it. If I am b***** and a man calls me that I don't hate on him for pointing out my truth.

Being a woman doesn't entitle us to not have to be responsible for our own actions.  Maybe this is because I thought about equality extensively when I was growing up.  The equal rights amendment was going state to state to be voted on.  

If you truly want to be equal then you must take the good with the bad.  That is just the way it is.

And yes, when we women call each other sl**s we also make that word more permissible.

I don't get a special pass on my behavior because I genetically have two X chromosomes.  If you feel you do that is fine, but it is not how I want to be treated.  I want my work and ideas to count equally, so I am prepared to own my own actions.

But, that's the problem. There is no equivalent word as "sl**" for men. JP slept with 3 women (allegedly…but come on, he did) within a span of a week and he didn't get called a sl**. He puts up countless pictures of himself half-naked on Instagram and paraded around on The Bachelor/ette without his shirt and didn't get called a sl**. He had a child out of wedlock and didn't get called a sl**. It's an incredibly gendered insult that repeatedly lets men get away with crimes like sexual assault and r*pe.

chasingpavements wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:I appreciate all of your opinions.  But yes, when you act like a sl** you give people a right to call you a sl**.  That is my opinion.  

People should own their own behavior.  That is my opinion and I stick to it. If I am b***** and a man calls me that I don't hate on him for pointing out my truth.

Being a woman doesn't entitle us to not have to be responsible for our own actions.  Maybe this is because I thought about equality extensively when I was growing up.  The equal rights amendment was going state to state to be voted on.  

If you truly want to be equal then you must take the good with the bad.  That is just the way it is.

And yes, when we women call each other sl**s we also make that word more permissible.

I don't get a special pass on my behavior because I genetically have two X chromosomes.  If you feel you do that is fine, but it is not how I want to be treated.  I want my work and ideas to count equally, so I am prepared to own my own actions.

But, that's the problem. There is no equivalent word as "sl**" for men. JP slept with 3 women (allegedly…but come on, he did) within a span of a week and he didn't get called a sl**. He puts up countless pictures of himself half-naked on Instagram and paraded around on The Bachelor/ette without his shirt and didn't get called a sl**. He had a child out of wedlock and didn't get called a sl**. It's an incredibly gendered insult that repeatedly lets men get away with crimes like sexual assault and r*pe.

Actually I have called my male friends sluts when they sleep with lots of women. So to me it is not just a female term. And even if I am silly I consider lingerie different from swimwear. I grew up in south Florida, so swimsuits, even bikinis are kind of a part of life. I would walk around in a swim suit, but I am not walking out of the house in a bra and underwear to get the mail. So yes, her lingerie pics are different to me. Maybe even the lingerie pics without the naked, but the naked and lingerie being 90%, yup, I am okay with calling that sl*** along with very self promoting. Like I said, I wish he just ignored her, since the attention is what she seems to want.

Also, I don't care if you are a sl**, wh*** or c***. No means no, so I don't think they let people get away with sexual assault and r*pe. I might say this woman and KK and Paris Hilton are sl***. I would never ever say that a man who had sex with them without their consent was justified. I don't believe in the she was dressing that way and asked for it defense.

I just consulted my Magic Eight Ball. I asked: "Did JPG ask 2 women who he barely knew to get naked (along with him) and pose for an animal charity photo shoot on national tv? And my Magic Eight Ball said: "the outlook is good".

BTW, Kasha, I actually have a fear of monkeys (all types)...and of clowns...so this definitely ain't my circus! I do like :dancebear: and though. Carry on. I especially like the economics analysis of porn consumption.