Brooks Discussion Group

When Des said she doesn't know what would have happened if Brooks had stayed....

if Brooks had stayed and at the FRC said he wasn't ready to propose but was interested in dating to see where there relationship would go and Chris who would propose...what do you think Des would have done? I think she would still have gone with Brooks. I think she loved him that much. She said she couldn't give the other guys the love they deserved and when she was on dates with them she wanted to be with Brooks and if Brooks were to propose she would accept (and this was after her FD with both Chris and Drew). I think she would have taken a chance with Brooks....we'll never know.

The last two weeks time factor Des keeps referring to as being so critical in making her decision to me just helps her to justify the engagement to Chris. And when she says things on the show are "accelerated" like that's what makes it possible to go from that emotional break up to an engagement to Chris in less than one week. If Brooks had stayed would he be anything but F1..... like Des would have changed her mind? I don't think so. Brooks was F1 until he took himself out, Chris was her second choice not her first.

Sometimes we don't end up with our Fi and go with F2 and things turn out just fine. Maybe in the end Chris was a better match for Des. It's the quick 180 degree turn around is what I have trouble with and makes the ending unbelievable.

I think if Brooks had stayed Des does know what she would have done but just can't say it.

Sprite wrote:

ironcat wrote:I hope what she MEANT to say, but was too inarticulate (shocker!) is that she hoped she would have been wise enough to pick Chris, because she now realizes 100% that he is her perfect match and NOT Brooks, and that in retrospect, she is thankful that Brooks left on his own and that she wasn't put in the position of possibly pulling a "Mesnick".

Ironcat I really wish I could believe that, but, I just don't. It didn't seem to me to be a statement that could be so generously reinterpreted. It was pretty clear...if Brooks had stayed, I don't know how things would have turned out??? Just seems to be really insensitive at best. I know it makes no difference what I think to those who are love them together, but, that one statement, post show, bugs me even more than that quick 180 during the show. I can see how that proposal could come about with producer urging and her wish to not walk out alone, but, post show, she has had time to clear up her feelings for Brooks, get to know Chris better and supposedly, fall even more in love, and yet, that is how she answers??? JMO but not good and I DO think that Chris is the best match for her!

Oh, I'm not sure I believe it either, but I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Even IF she knows that she would have chosen Brooks had he stayed, and even IF she also knows that it would have been a mistake because she is now fully committed and in love with Chris, the comment she made was poorly thought out. But as I said, she never struck me as someone who was able to really express herself very well (very few of the contestants who have appeared on this show are, to be honest), so it doesn't surprise me that she made that rather tactless statement, and I'm not convinced that she realizes just how tactless and dismissive of her fiance it really was (and I'm not sure he does either), nor that she intended it to be.

ironcat wrote:

Sprite wrote:

ironcat wrote:I hope what she MEANT to say, but was too inarticulate (shocker!) is that she hoped she would have been wise enough to pick Chris, because she now realizes 100% that he is her perfect match and NOT Brooks, and that in retrospect, she is thankful that Brooks left on his own and that she wasn't put in the position of possibly pulling a "Mesnick".

Ironcat I really wish I could believe that, but, I just don't. It didn't seem to me to be a statement that could be so generously reinterpreted. It was pretty clear...if Brooks had stayed, I don't know how things would have turned out??? Just seems to be really insensitive at best. I know it makes no difference what I think to those who are love them together, but, that one statement, post show, bugs me even more than that quick 180 during the show. I can see how that proposal could come about with producer urging and her wish to not walk out alone, but, post show, she has had time to clear up her feelings for Brooks, get to know Chris better and supposedly, fall even more in love, and yet, that is how she answers??? JMO but not good and I DO think that Chris is the best match for her!

Oh, I'm not sure I believe it either, but I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.  Even IF she knows that she would have chosen Brooks had he stayed, and even IF she also knows that it would have been a mistake because she is now fully committed and in love with Chris, the comment she made was poorly thought out.  But as I said, she never struck me as someone who was able to really express herself very well (very few of the contestants who have appeared on this show are, to be honest), so it doesn't surprise me that she made that rather tactless statement, and I'm not convinced that she realizes just how tactless and dismissive of her fiance it really was (and I'm not sure he does either), nor that she intended it to be.

You are more generous than I am.

This whole season has just left me feeling drained and sad. I just hope Jaun Pablo can perk things back up again.

Don't you think she is being truthful when she said that?  I don't see it as a slap to Chris or Brooks or even insensitive, just truthful.  There is no way of knowing since it didn't happen that way, plain and simple.  "What would you have done if" is really an unfair question to ask anyone.  No body knows how the outcome of anything (this scenario or what you made for dinner last night) would have been.  What you think she would or should say based on your fav isn't really fair either.   I've said it over and over.... We don't know these people. I am in no way trying to tell anyone not to have an opinion I'm just trying to point out there could be other circumstances and other ways to look at things. In my opinion after watching it again and the break up 3 times, I still say "if" there were feelings at all that she was in love with the chase, not Brooks the man.

Some on here keep questioning the engagement verses dating after the show.  On this TV reality show do people really take the proposal/engagement seriously or in real life take it as let's date and see where it goes?  The proposal never has meant anything to me from this show; it's more like an agreement to continue the relationship after it's over.  The “real” relationship and proposal should come later, in private, between two people, not the whole world.

Why is it that on this show it is almost expected that there be a proposal at the end? It would be much more meaningful if a proposal was an exception rather than the rule even on reality TV. A proposal after knowing someone for 2 1/2 months is pretty unusual under any circumstances. I'm sure TPTB want it this way no matter how unrealistic it is.

Des also said on Jimmy Kimmel after this season was over that if Sean would have proposed she would have said yes to him. Her saying that surprised me but I think she was being truthful.

Rolly wrote:Des also said on Jimmy Kimmel after this season was over that if Sean would have proposed she would have said yes to him. Her saying that surprised me but I think she was being truthful.

I agree, Rolly, with everything you said. I think Des falls fast and hard. She has told at least three men in less than a year that she loved them. I believe she loved Sean and would have married him. I believe she loved Brooks, and if Brooks had felt the same way about her, there is absolutely no question in my mind he would be F1. Since Chris was willing and ready, she quickly fell in love with him. I actually think Chris is better suited for her so it worked out in the end. Brooks seems like a great guy (my favorite contestant ever) - but this show wasn't for him. Of course, this is all IMHO since I don't know any of them.

Mustang19 wrote:

Rolly wrote:Des also said on Jimmy Kimmel after this season was over that if Sean would have proposed she would have said yes to him. Her saying that surprised me but I think she was being truthful.

I agree, Rolly, with everything you said. I think Des falls fast and hard. She has told at least three men in less than a year that she loved them. I believe she loved Sean and would have married him. I believe she loved Brooks, and if Brooks had felt the same way about her, there is absolutely no question in my mind he would be F1. Since Chris was willing and ready, she quickly fell in love with him. I actually think Chris is better suited for her so it worked out in the end. Brooks seems like a great guy (my favorite contestant ever) - but this show wasn't for him. Of course, this is all IMHO since I don't know any of them.

Some great posts on here today and a lot of things I do agree and disagree with.  I do also agree that Brooks definitely was F1 until he quit but I do not discount her feelings for Chris especially post-show and hope it works out for them.  Brooks is my favorite contestant ever too!

Mandy61 wrote:Don't you think she is being truthful when she said that?  I don't see it as a slap to Chris or Brooks or even insensitive, just truthful.  There is no way of knowing since it didn't happen that way, plain and simple.  "What would you have done if" is really an unfair question to ask anyone.  No body knows how the outcome of anything (this scenario or what you made for dinner last night) would have been.  What you think she would or should say based on your fav isn't really fair either.   I've said it over and over.... We don't know these people.  I am in no way trying to tell anyone not to have an opinion I'm just trying to point out there could be other circumstances and other ways to look at things.  In my opinion after watching it again and the break up 3 times, I still say "if" there were feelings at all that she was in love with the chase, not Brooks the man.

Some on here keep questioning the engagement verses dating after the show.  On this TV reality show do people really take the proposal/engagement seriously or in real life take it as let's date and see where it goes?  The proposal never has meant anything to me from this show; it's more like an agreement to continue the relationship after it's over.  The “real” relationship and proposal should come later, in private, between two people, not the whole world.

I completely believe she is being truthful, but sometimes the truth is also tactless. That's why I agree that there were better ways to say something truthful but less hurtful to Chris, and she certainly should have anticipated being asked this question and as such, had a few months to formulate a better answer along the lines of what I mentioned earlier (which I sure hope Des would feel was a more or less truthful statement now), which deflects a bit from what she absolutely WOULD have done (which even she can't know 100% since it didn't play out that way), and focuses more on what she now knows she absolutely SHOULD have done (ie, pick her "soulmate", Chris).

As for taking the engagement seriously, clearly the show and producers don't, but as for the contestants, some do and some don't. It sounds like part of Brooks' problem was that he wasn't able/willing to go along with getting engaged to anybody but the woman he was absolutely certain he would be walking down the aisle with some months later, and he just didn't feel that way about Des (or probably anyone else he would have met under these circumstances). I think that's a big part of why he left, especially if the producers made it clear to him that a proposal was expected.

There was nothing about Brooks and Des' first 1 on 1 date that spelled F1 to me.  What man (in his right mind) would fall for a woman who wants them to wears a wedding gown and tuxedo on their first date???  This was my 1st clue that the Brooks Spoiler was wrong.  Not only did Des and Brooks putting on wedding attire, but they started climbing up to the Hollywood sign to sit and chat just like Ali and Frank.  This was my 2nd clue that Brooks was not F1.  The fact that Brooks saw Des kissing James was another clue that he was not F1.  I just can't see the TPTB letting the F1 guy sneak into the Lead's SQT with another guy.  These are just a few of the many clues showing that Brooks wasn't going to be F1; and, that Brooks was cast to be the type of guy that Des has always fell for, but who would not return her love.

The truth of the situation is Des has moved on to start a life with Chris. They have started a life together and seem happy. This is for today and now, 3 months after FRC. Where they will be 3 months from now is 3 months down the road, like any other couple.
That's the nice thing in not getting invested in these people--moving on to the next season and saying good luck.