Re: Brooks Forester - Bachelorette 9 - Fan Thread - Discussion #5

[sfrank]

Cecilia, I would love to hear his explanation of that tweet. I thought he was referring to the fiasco with the James drama but you could be right. I'm amazed that they were able to keep her engagement a secret from Brooks. He did seem to be surprised. His comment after at not being surprised because of how she looked at Chris during group dates and rose ceremonies could also be taken as a way to help her save face (he saw it too) or could be kind of a slam (I thought you said you loved and wanted to be with me). I wish we could have about an hour...or day with Brooks to clear all this stuff up!!!  

Rolly...if I had an hour with Brooks the LAST thing I'd wanna do is talk about this show (wink wink)!

[sfrank]

I still think he's surprised she's engaged.
IMO - he lived through that break-up. Felt terrible afterwards for months all the while as the spoiled F1, creating a whole soundtrack of sad break-up songs. Only to find out that several days later she was engaged to someone else, despite what she said to him. Hence that tweet about being in Barcelona for one month in one night - nosenseinnonsense. I saw that as a jab at her BS with the timing in Antigua. So I think he's a little miffed still.

So Cecilia you think he expected her to be single at ATFR? And that he was shocked and perhaps even disappointed that she was engaged to Chris? That's interesting because I saw a look of relief on his face that she was able to move on after the heartbreak. Interesting how we can watch the same tape and come away with two completely different perspectives :>)

I don't think he wanted her back at the ATFR. But I do think that he was very emotional at the break-up (we all saw it). And then the odd scenario where they don't talk, he can't tell anyone what happens, he doesn't know what happens and everyone thinks he's the F1. So he has to think about it for months. Maybe doubts himself. Only to learn that she's fine and got engaged to someone else days later.  And - be sounded way more aloof the day after in conference call the. He did at ATFR (sure I have regrets, I was so invested in that relationship).

Maybe he was relieved. Maybe a bit sad. I only watched it twice. Too awkward for me to watch more than that.

I'm not saying I think they should be together.

I gotcha! Yeah, I really wish I could have listened to his conference call to hear his tone when he answered certain questions. I might explain a lot.

[Cecilia]

Another huge red flag I saw but ignored: his conversation with his mom! Mom saying - I told her you would be ready to be engaged if you found the right person. Is that true?? Hard look from mom.

[Rolly]

Sfrank, I was kind of imagining our "talk" in a hot tub, glass or two of wine, soft music reliving the beautiful Antigua...oh wait he didn't really get to see Antigua.   and isn't that a shame, beautiful Antigua and no romantic dates of Des and Brooks...what a rip off!!!

[MonicaJM2001]

I hope he doesn't think we are going to forget about that TWERKING video......

[Soleil]

The moments of having something that takes your breath away for a second...makes you refocus on what's important....Brooks Forester.  I can't get out of my mind what he said in the park just before he met with his mom and sister, Jana. He said the fantasy date was next which was making him nervous as he didn't know what would happen afterwards. Personally, I think it was easier to talk himself out of the relationship than to find out. I don't know..just trying to figure out how and why he went so fast to running to  her ....to running away from her !!  I still haven't watched the big finale. It's recorded ...but I can't go there...

 I haven't watched it either. And won't. What's the use in watching something that won't make any sense to me? I'm never going to buy the choice she made to run into the arms of someone she knew would be a safe alternative? I am pretty sure Brooks is fine and I think his focus now will be to capitalize on his fame. I hope he doesn't take too much of an advantage of it and make bad decisions like going on Bach Pad. I'll be fine with anything he does as long it's not that sleezy show. My Monday was stress free for the first time. But I know I would have been so much happier today if they had actually gotten together like do many of us here were hoping.

[Guest]

I still think he's surprised she's engaged.
IMO - he lived through that break-up. Felt terrible afterwards for months all the while as the spoiled F1, creating a whole soundtrack of sad break-up songs. Only to find out that several days later she was engaged to someone else, despite what she said to him. Hence that tweet about being in Barcelona for one month in one night - nosenseinnonsense. I saw that as a jab at her BS with the timing in Antigua. So I think he's a little miffed still.

i agree and mentioned that the other day. i saw another tweet after that one where he tells someone to "dig deep" in part of the tweet. he is using des' words again. i don't think he is as cool as a cucumber about the ending as he's saying in interviews. i also definitely saw his initial look of hurt when des told him she was engaged. iirc, he looked away too before he then said the bit about seeing it with her and chris.

[Guest]

Brooks has moved on. He did not see forever with her and he let her know. Des is with Chris now and he remains blissfully ignorant of what happened with Brooks (or so he says) and loves her regardless. Good luck to them. End of story. No do-overs wanted by me.

BTW, does anyone REALLY believe that Chris didn't watch ANY of the footage of her and Brooks? What do you think his family has to say because I am sure they watched everything that went down throughout the season. His family sure had a VERY strong opinion of his last girlfriend. What do you think they think about Des now watching the show? If Chris was your brother, son, close relative or friend would you support his engagement with Des having watched what happened? Would you try to clue him in on what happened?

My personal opinion is that I would have encouraged him to take things slow with Des. I would have certainly told him to wait on that move to Seattle! I would also tell him EVERYTHING that happened on the show whether he wants to hear it or not! My biggest problem with Des is that she didn't really confess to Chris everything that went down with Brooks at FRC she downplayed it and let Chris propose not fully understanding the scope of what transpired. I think she was dishonest to Chris and he did not have all the information. It really makes me wonder if he would have proposed had he understood the depth of her feeling for Brooks.

she said in one of the interviews post-show that he knows all the details of what happened between her and brooks but i think that is different from him watching it and seeing for himself how it was. i do agree that she downplayed it in the finale. 

oh well, it's their lives. if they can make it work then good on them.

[momoftrips]

Madi Smith @madismith333
Saw @brooksforester at flowrider tonight and he was the nicest guy ever! #teambrooks pic.twitter.com/FhEAgkNvlL

 
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[nannymargie]

I still think he's surprised she's engaged.
IMO - he lived through that break-up. Felt terrible afterwards for months all the while as the spoiled F1, creating a whole soundtrack of sad break-up songs. Only to find out that several days later she was engaged to someone else, despite what she said to him. Hence that tweet about being in Barcelona for one month in one night - nosenseinnonsense. I saw that as a jab at her BS with the timing in Antigua. So I think he's a little miffed still.

i agree and mentioned that the other day. i saw another tweet after that one where he tells someone to "dig deep" in part of the tweet. he is using des' words again. i don't think he is as cool as a cucumber about the ending as he's saying in interviews. i also definitely saw his initial look of hurt when des told him she was engaged. iirc, he looked away too before he then said the bit about seeing it with her and chris.

I am with you on this one Gabriiele,  I don't think that was a look of relief on his face. He said he was nervous to find out what happened.

[Mandy61]

Hi everyone.  I finally got caught up with everyone's posts and I must say it's like everyone can read my mind. With that said, for myself I had to come up with my own 12 step plan.  Take it, leave it, skip over it, read it, ignore it, apply it.  It's what has helped me tremendously.

1. Let yourself grieve your loss
It’s not uncommon to feel a loss when things don’t turn out like you thought or were led to believe.  No people died because of the outcome and it’s the loss of something not someone.  Continuing to grieve something for weeks isn’t healthy for anyone.
2. Make it Conscious
Think about your addiction/obsession.  Look at it with new eyes and see it for what it is. Don’t look at this as a flaw on your character but a lesson to be learned.
3. Put it in writing so it sinks in
You can always look at your own posts to see what you’ve written. Look yourself up on the Memberlist> click on your name> click on statistics> under posts click on “find all messages posted by ….”. Then write down your thoughts about the feelings of loss but not on the forum. Actually use paper and pen. This really does work.
4. Admit to yourself there is an addiction/obsession
This one is not easy…When you find the outcome is consuming your thoughts or you would rather spend time in the forum instead of time with family and friends, you have an addiction/obsession.  No excuses.
5. Visit other websites
“Allow” yourself to visit a website that has nothing to do with your favorite or this show. Read about something/someone else.
6. Limit yourself on posts for the day
When you do feel the urge to post on here, limit your post to 1 small paragraph or less.  Re-read your post before you click send, ask yourself “do I really need to say that again”?  
7. Keep reminding yourself
Say it outloud "this is a TV show".  What we saw on our TV was 90% manipulated and only 10% real.  The people we think we know so well from this TV show are really strangers to us.  None of us really knows happened during the filming of this show and none of us know what’s in Des’ heart.  Make the realization that there will never be a Brooks and Des or Bres.  There isn't going to be a “do over”.
8. Change your environment
You have to force yourself to do something else. Get away from the computer all together, not just the forum.
9. Remove easy access to the forum
Delete all shortcuts, delete any folders, delete from your favorites and empty your recycle bin.  Make it more of a chore to get to the site.
10. Notice the improvements you make
When you’ve noticed yourself visiting the forum less and less congratulate yourself.  Go for ice cream, get those shoes you’ve been wanting or spend some quality time with your family/friends.
11. Ask yourself if there is something missing in my life
Some people don’t realize this about themselves and have no idea how to fill the void.  You are the only one that can answer this.
12. Forgive yourself
As stated earlier, this is not a character flaw but another one of life’s lessons.

[atem]

Madi Smith @madismith333
Saw @brooksforester at flowrider tonight and he was the nicest guy ever! #teambrooks pic.twitter.com/FhEAgkNvlL

 
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Yay! Another pic. Yeah, I didn't know what the heck a flowrider was, but it's where you can do a simulated surfing, wakeboarding, etc.

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