The Bachelorette 9 - General Discussion - News/Updates

The Bachelorette 9 - General Discussion - News/Updates

Finally this thread is up. I've been wanting to vent out how I feel about the season but their is no place to do that. I don't care if Des truly is in love with Chris this time because i dont believe that she is. I'm not a fan of hers. Well I guess they deserve each other. A lead who is weak/desperate to get married and a guy who is a fool and get into this engagement not wanting to know the real score of the relationship.

scarre_me wrote:Finally this thread is up.  I've been wanting to vent out how I feel about the season but their is no place to do that. I don't care if Des truly is in love with Chris this time because i dont believe that she is.  I'm not a fan of hers. Well I guess they deserve each other. A lead who is weak/desperate to get married and a guy who is a fool and get into this engagement not wanting to know the real score of the relationship.  

How did you want it to end?

IrishGal wrote:

scarre_me wrote:Finally this thread is up.  I've been wanting to vent out how I feel about the season but their is no place to do that. I don't care if Des truly is in love with Chris this time because i dont believe that she is.  I'm not a fan of hers. Well I guess they deserve each other. A lead who is weak/desperate to get married and a guy who is a fool and get into this engagement not wanting to know the real score of the relationship.  

How did you want it to end?

would have respected Des if she did not accept Chris proposal and instead will date him after the show or she could have walked away and did not choose no one. Knowing Des from Sean season...I'm not surprised at all at how her season end.

scarre_me wrote:

IrishGal wrote:

scarre_me wrote:Finally this thread is up.  I've been wanting to vent out how I feel about the season but their is no place to do that. I don't care if Des truly is in love with Chris this time because i dont believe that she is.  I'm not a fan of hers. Well I guess they deserve each other. A lead who is weak/desperate to get married and a guy who is a fool and get into this engagement not wanting to know the real score of the relationship.  

How did you want it to end?

would have respected Des if she did not accept Chris proposal and instead will date him after the show or she could have walked away and did not choose no one.  Knowing Des from Sean season...I'm not surprised at all at how her season end.

I am a fan of Des'.... still… I have to agree that I would have believed her love for Chris 100% more if she did NOT get engaged at the end.  To me the engagement and quick move to Seattle reeks of desperation.  In spite of this, who knows, crazier things have happened and it may work out.  I wish them nothing but happiness.

I don't agree that Des is desperate. Why would she be? She just had 25 guys competing for her. I'm sure several of them would be thrilled to date her now if she called. Zak W. comes to mind (what a sweetie). She also knows full well that the many men of Bachnation will be all over her if she is single. Not to mention all the other reality star groupies in the universe. I really don't think she is acting out of desperation. JMHO.

IrishGal wrote:I don't agree that Des is desperate.  Why would she be?  She just had 25 guys competing for her.  I'm sure several of them would be thrilled to date her now if she called.  Zak W. comes to mind (what a sweetie). She also knows full well that the many men of Bachnation will be all over her if she is single.  Not to mention all the other reality star groupies in the universe.  I really don't think she is acting out of desperation. JMHO.

I don't necessarily think she is desparate, but, I do wonder if she is trying to save face. She pleaded with Sean and then she pleaded with Brooks, and then turned around a few days later and told Chris she realised it was him all along. Not saying it couldn't happen, but, if it did, it would really make me question her..and does. As for the men of Bachelor nation, yes, some would want to date her but, how many of those are really looking for a serious relationship as opposed to an affair?

I wrote this in Brooks thread earlier, but, it seems to belong here:

I didn't particularly care for this season. I watched out of habit rather than because I was enjoying it. I didn't really dislike anyone, but, I didn't really like anyone either. I knew about the spoilers, but, didn't really care. This season more than any other I was able to watch objectively. The edit was a mess. They practically beat us (the viewing audience...specially those who just watch the show and don't follow spoilers), over the head with the themes they were going  with....guy with girlfriend, guy who doesn't get along with other guys, guy who leaves, guy with ulterior motives, guy who is torn and confused and loyal guy.

What sticks out for me from this whole mess is just what a mess Des was. I understand how this show works. I know she was tired, manipulated by producers, etc. I get all that. What bothers me is the 180 she did within a matter or days. I have seen people on here making all kinds of excuses and justifications as to why it happened. I'm sorry but I just don't buy it and her post show interview where she admitted she still doesn't know what would have happened if Brooks had stayed only confirmed my thoughts. It has now been several months since the show. She has been getting to know Chris during that time. The fact that she still can't say with any certainty that she would have picked him, makes me feel really bad for the man. I know some will still say ... Oh, she's just being honest. To me there is honest, and then there is just being needlessly honest. Supposedly by now, she KNOWS she loves him (personally don't believe that, I think she is trying to talk herself into it because he is such a nice man and stood by her through this whole mess), and yet she can't throw him a bone by softening things up and saying I hope/think I would have eventually come to the same conclusion.

I like Chris. I like Des. I hope she figures herself out and is capable of truly falling for a nice man. If she doesn't, I hope she doesn't prolong this and hurt him too badly and he moves on. I wish Brooks every happiness as well. I don't have a problem with anything he did and I personally don't think he came out of this looking bad. What I don't get are those people...in both camps...who INSIST that if Brooks had stayed they know how things would have turned out...naturally in their favourites favour, when Des herself has clearly stated that she doesn't know...and yet, we, who don't know any of these people and were not there...clearly do!

Sprite wrote:

IrishGal wrote:I don't agree that Des is desperate.  Why would she be?  She just had 25 guys competing for her.  I'm sure several of them would be thrilled to date her now if she called.  Zak W. comes to mind (what a sweetie). She also knows full well that the many men of Bachnation will be all over her if she is single.  Not to mention all the other reality star groupies in the universe.  I really don't think she is acting out of desperation. JMHO.

I don't necessarily think she is desparate, but, I do wonder if she is trying to save face. She pleaded with Sean and then she pleaded with Brooks, and then turned around a few days later and told Chris she realised it was him all along. Not saying it couldn't happen, but, if it did, it would really make me question her..and does. As for the men of Bachelor nation, yes, some would want to date her but, how many of those are really looking for a serious relationship as opposed to an affair?

I wrote this in Brooks thread earlier, but, it seems to belong here:

I didn't particularly care for this season. I watched out of habit rather than because I was enjoying it. I didn't really dislike anyone, but, I didn't really like anyone either. I knew about the spoilers, but, didn't really care. This season more than any other I was able to watch objectively. The edit was a mess. They practically beat us (the viewing audience...specially those who just watch the show and don't follow spoilers), over the head with the themes they were going  with....guy with girlfriend, guy who doesn't get along with other guys, guy who leaves, guy with ulterior motives, guy who is torn and confused and loyal guy.

What sticks out for me from this whole mess is just what a mess Des was. I understand how this show works. I know she was tired, manipulated by producers, etc. I get all that. What bothers me is the 180 she did within a matter or days. I have seen people on here making all kinds of excuses and justifications as to why it happened. I'm sorry but I just don't buy it and her post show interview where she admitted she still doesn't know what would have happened if Brooks had stayed only confirmed my thoughts. It has now been several months since the show. She has been getting to know Chris during that time. The fact that she still can't say with any certainty that she would have picked him, makes me feel really bad for the man. I know some will still say ... Oh, she's just being honest. To me there is honest, and then there is just being needlessly honest. Supposedly by now, she KNOWS she loves him (personally don't believe that, I think she is trying to talk herself into it because he is such a nice man and stood by her through this whole mess), and yet she can't throw him a bone by softening things up and saying I hope/think I would have eventually come to the same conclusion.

I like Chris. I like Des. I hope she figures herself out and is capable of truly falling for a nice man. If she doesn't, I hope she doesn't prolong this and hurt him too badly and he moves on. I wish Brooks every happiness as well. I don't have a problem with anything he did and I personally don't think he came out of this looking bad. What I don't get are those people...in both camps...who INSIST that if Brooks had stayed they know how things would have turned out...naturally in their favourites favour, when Des herself has clearly stated that she doesn't know...and yet, we, who don't know any of these people and were not there...clearly do! :headbanging

Irishgal, I don't know why Des would be desperate.  She's a very beautiful girl with so much to offer... and as you point out there are many guys in the Bach nation that were or would be interested.  But her actions still come across as overly emotional and reactive to me, as Sprite noted, a "mess".
 
Maybe she was trying to save face, ok, I'll buy that in part... but getting engaged to a Chris a week after saying that "it's all over" and “I just want to go home” is more to me than just trying to save face. To Sprite's point in bold, it feels to me like Des is willing herself into believing the relationship with Chris is right, moving in with Chris immediately, when she could just as easily have said let's date and see where this goes... and it leaves me with an 'icky' feeling and makes it hard for me to believe that her feelings for Chris are genuine.  

Watching the finale, I also got the feeling as if the producers were feeding her the best words and phrases to lead us, the audience, step by step through a process that would somehow be appropriate for a change of heart… from I don’t know how I’m feeling, to it’s great to see Chris but I don’t know if it’s forever, to we have a great time and he’s so special, to I finally see what’s been before me all this time, etc….like relationship by the numbers, by the book, very correct, but somehow unreal, especially within the time frame of one day!!

I respect what you both are saying. And I really don't have a stake in this because I never had a strong favorite. But I do think JBF made a great point. If Chris had been the spoiled F1 all along, wouldn't we have written off her histrionics as just bad acting/stress the way we did with Ash and Ali? For all we know, they make all the leads confess love for all the F3 so they can edit the way they wish depending on the end? For all we know Ali told CH that she was in love with Frank. She certainly reacted as if her heart was devestated and she couldn't go on. We just do not know what machinations go on behind the scenes. This season they were all about the false spoiler so they chose to skewer Des and Chris and make them look foolish in order to mislead us all. I'm inclined to think she wouldn't uproot her life and move just to save face. Why would she? She doesn't care what we think! I just keep hoping some day one of the contestants will have the guts to really write a tell-all.

IrishGal wrote:I respect what you both are saying. And I really don't have a stake in this because I  never had a strong favorite.  But I do think JBF made a great point. If Chris had been the spoiled F1 all along, wouldn't we have written off her histrionics as just bad acting/stress the way we did with Ash and Ali? For all we know, they make all the leads confess love for all the F3 so they can edit the way they wish depending on the end? For all we know Ali told CH that she was in love with Frank.  She certainly reacted as if her heart was devestated and she couldn't go on.  We just do not know what machinations go on behind the scenes. This season they were all about the false spoiler so they chose to skewer Des and Chris and make them look foolish in order to mislead us all. I'm inclined to think she wouldn't uproot her life and move just to save face.  Why would she?  She doesn't care what we think! I just keep hoping some day one of the contestants will have the guts to really write a tell-all.

Nice post Irishgirl! I understand where the posts above are coming from but we have to remember that (1) we are making judgments based upon a highly edited version of events. We are all aware of scenes we never saw.
I was rewatching the proposal and was struck by a couple of things. First, Chris stated in an interview that he didn't think she had chosen Drew because of the way she kissed him when he arrived. Well we didn't see any such kiss because... it would have given away the ending. Then, during the proposal when Des pulls Chris back to his feet I am pretty sure that they put in the whole "I need to let you know where my heart has been... et I let Drew go" piece from elsewhere - probably later in the discussion. As she pulls him up she is distraught and again she is broken up when talking about being blindsided by her feelings for Brooks, but for this middle bit her voice is different and she is calm. Why does this matter? Because I'm pretty sure that she gave a much longer, more thorough, rambling explanation of her feelings for Brooks to Chris but that the producers just put in piece to link things together and keep it within their time and story line.
(2) Desiree is not us and she seems to be highly emotional - she was upset by Bryden leaving, cried when she heard about James, etc, and she certainly wasn't in love with either. She heard from Brooks, who she clearly cared for (as much as one can after 4 dates or so) and had a melt down. Then she brushed herself off, squared her shoulders and realized there was another great guy in front of her who broke her pattern of falling for the guy who could love her enough...
Could I do it, probably not (although who knows what dating 25 guys would do to my headspace!) but I also can't presume to judge the depth of her feelings either.
Again, JMO

IrishGal wrote:I respect what you both are saying. And I really don't have a stake in this because I  never had a strong favorite.  But I do think JBF made a great point. If Chris had been the spoiled F1 all along, wouldn't we have written off her histrionics as just bad acting/stress the way we did with Ash and Ali? For all we know, they make all the leads confess love for all the F3 so they can edit the way they wish depending on the end? For all we know Ali told CH that she was in love with Frank.  She certainly reacted as if her heart was devestated and she couldn't go on.  We just do not know what machinations go on behind the scenes. This season they were all about the false spoiler so they chose to skewer Des and Chris and make them look foolish in order to mislead us all. I'm inclined to think she wouldn't uproot her life and move just to save face.  Why would she?  She doesn't care what we think! I just keep hoping some day one of the contestants will have the guts to really write a tell-all.

I agree with a lot of this Irish Gal. I don't think we'd be sitting here discussing this(whether you have a fave or not) if the F1 was the correct spoiler. In that case, I seriously wouldn't think that there would be so many people saying that she just settled or that she is rushing into this without giving things thought or even the comment of how she moved to Seattle to save face. Seriously though, I really think that Chris was going to be her F1 and as she stated, she thought her heart would find what it wants and needs. To me, it did and they look really happy.

Relalou wrote:

IrishGal wrote:I respect what you both are saying. And I really don't have a stake in this because I  never had a strong favorite.  But I do think JBF made a great point. If Chris had been the spoiled F1 all along, wouldn't we have written off her histrionics as just bad acting/stress the way we did with Ash and Ali? For all we know, they make all the leads confess love for all the F3 so they can edit the way they wish depending on the end? For all we know Ali told CH that she was in love with Frank.  She certainly reacted as if her heart was devestated and she couldn't go on.  We just do not know what machinations go on behind the scenes. This season they were all about the false spoiler so they chose to skewer Des and Chris and make them look foolish in order to mislead us all. I'm inclined to think she wouldn't uproot her life and move just to save face.  Why would she?  She doesn't care what we think! I just keep hoping some day one of the contestants will have the guts to really write a tell-all.

Nice post Irishgirl!  I understand where the posts above are coming from but we have to remember that (1) we are making judgments based upon a highly edited version of events.  We are all aware of scenes we never saw.
I was rewatching the proposal and was struck by a couple of things.  First, Chris stated in an interview that he didn't think she had chosen Drew because of the way she kissed him when he arrived.  Well we didn't see any such kiss because... it would have given away the ending.  Then, during the proposal when Des pulls Chris back to his feet I am pretty sure that they put in the whole "I need to let you know where my heart has been... et I let Drew go" piece from elsewhere - probably later in the discussion. As she pulls him up she is distraught and again she is broken up when talking about being blindsided by her feelings for Brooks, but for this middle bit her voice is different and she is calm.  Why does this matter?  Because I'm pretty sure that she gave a much longer, more thorough, rambling explanation of her feelings for Brooks to Chris but that the producers just put in piece to link things together and keep it within their time and story line.
(2) Desiree is not us and she seems to be highly emotional - she was upset by Bryden leaving, cried when she heard about James, etc, and she certainly wasn't in love with either.  She heard from Brooks, who she clearly cared for (as much as one can after 4 dates or so) and had a melt down.  Then she brushed herself off, squared her shoulders and realized there was another great guy in front of her who broke her pattern of falling for the guy who could love her enough...
Could I do it, probably not (although who knows what dating 25 guys would do to my headspace!) but I also can't presume to judge the depth of her feelings either.
Again, JMO

Ali and Ashley are two totally different scenarios in my mind. It was clear from the get go that Ali was all over Roberto ... remember that SEXXXY! after she met him? She was really into him from the start. Frank was her typical guy (see her current boyfriend), but, Robertoooo was who she aspired to. Not saying that she wasn't into Frank, or that his leaving didn't hurt, but, to me that was more of if he is dumping me, than what will Robertooooo do? Also, Ali was willing to play along with producers...remember that crying fit in the hallway over Jake the fake who she could have cared less about? There is a reason she is one of their favourites. Ashley was attracted to Bentley, but he left early and there was JP waiting with their first date. I think she had already been primed by the powers that be and William, to feel insecure. Did these guys really want her or Emily? JP had more than enough time to help her sort things out and come to the best conclusion. It has nothing to do with knowing the spoilers. Yes, producers may ask the same questions about all the guys and only to show certain things to best serve the story line, but they do not skewer their leads like this if they have faith in the relationship. Remember Jake and Vienna, Jillian and Ed, Ben and Courtney? They did go to town on Ashley but they gave her plenty of time to redeem herself in the viewers eyes. Des, not so much. And then there was the nose adjustment for Chris??? Not the stellar knight on a white horse rescuing his damsel edit they gave JP, but, just subtle digs at Chris.

I also have to disagree with Des being highly emotional. I did not get that vibe from her at all...until Brooks left. Bryden, Brian, Ben, even James...she just seem to brush them off and just continue along her merry way. She was quite calm and far from emotional to me...until Brooks left. The one scene in particular that sticks out to me was the talk she had with Chris pre Brooks leaving. Of course they were priming us for his dramatic exit but, CH had gotten her to admit that she was in love with Brooks....and then CH did some more poking and managed to get a half hearted...yeah, I'm falling for Chris too. That was such an after thought and very reluctantly given with practically no emotion whatsoever. The fact that she still continues to say that she still doesn't know what would have happened if Brooks had stayed, makes me doubt her judgement and frankly, her empathy towards the man she now conviniently says she loves.

I have nothing against her...or any of them. If she is happy...good for her. I hope they all find happiness, I just find myself more that usually sceptical with the sudden turn around in her affections. If they make it, I really think it will be because of Chris, but, I find myself questioning both their judgement this season...of course, I usually question peoples judgement when they decide to go on this show in the first place and my own for watching, so make of it what you will. As always, time will tell.