Episode 11 (Finale Part 2) - 8/05 - Bachelorette 9 - Discussion - Spoilers

Does anyone else think that she is trying to force herself to love Chris as much as he loves her? I mean she said to Nate last night (about Brooks).." it was so hard and it took me a really long time to get over it... but I am good now" So in just a matter of days? Really? she looks kind of pathetic to me. Just curious what your take is... ladies?

SonjaB wrote:I was my husbands second choice, he took a little longer to warm up to me, but were so happy today, going on ten years now.
It takes a mixture of respect, friendship along with that passion.  Chris looks like a serious, dependable guy that Des will see and she will wonder how she could have chosen anything else. When she wakes up each morning, next to him, true and loyal. she will feel so safe and loved, Its a great feeling.

You may have been second choice but your husband made the right call! My best to you both of you.

It does take the mix you noted. It takes time and you are correct it is a great feeling! Nice post!

melika wrote:Does anyone else think that she is trying to force herself to love Chris as much as he loves her? I mean she said to Nate last night (about Brooks).." it was so hard and it took me a really long time to get over it... but I am good now" So in just a matter of days? Really? she looks kind of pathetic to me. Just curious what your take is... ladies?

I agree it takes time and she did not have it but she used her head as well as her emotions and even stated the one I want/need has been right here I just missed it. They have lasted since filming ended and are getting a new place together so it sounds promising. Odds are against them but I see a maturity which makes me think they stand a chance. Regardless I wish her the best. Only she knew what she wanted and we only see what the edit lets us.

northernviewer wrote:I'd like to preface my post by saying that my feelings on the guys this season was that Chris was my favorite, I didn't mind Brooks and didn't really care for Drew much.

First, loved that the spoilers were wrong... hat's off to MF for that coupe!!  RS was MF's main target and the rest who were given false spoilers were casualties in their war.

Second, so happy that Des ended up with Chris but wish it was under different circumstances.  I'm not going to conveniently forget about what went down with her and Brooks and how she wanted to go home and how she would tear up every time his name was mentioned.  Can a person fall in love a few days after getting their heart tore open?  I have a hard time believing it.  I think that she wants to be in love real bad with somebody who loves her back... but I don't think that she's there yet.  She still has unresolved feelings for Brooks, could see it when she was sitting beside him on the stage last night.  I hope it soon fades and she can give her heart to Chris 100% soon.. moving to Seattle will give her them the best chance at making it work.  I've always thought that Chris was her best match and wanted her to pick him.... but her heart wasn't there at the time, it was with Brooks.  Curious to see how the next 6 months goes... but I wish them all the best as I think they can have a wonderful life together.  

Totally agree. Well said.

Longhornfan wrote:

dw_a_mom wrote:

pbmax wrote:

SafronSahara wrote:All that talk and she still settled. She ain't fooling me . When Brooks walked up on that stage it was so evident Desiree still wanted him. I want to like Chris and Desiree together but I'm not excited about them.  

Yeah she definitely settled, still crying about Brooks all the way to the FRC, look like she wanted to cry tonite. She should have talked to DeAnna...but it is Des life.

Either way, the real relationship starts after the show has finished airing.  It sounds like they are giving it a real shot, to discover if they are actually meant to be.  They have plenty of time to decide if it really isn't.

If they do get married, then we'll know the Brooks thing was old pattern lust that she fortunately got beyond.  I had plenty of those in my dating days, total infatuation for very wrong men.  So very happy that I married the man I did - he really is the love of my life.  But I never went into that crazy infatuation with him; I felt happy and secure with him from day 1.  Sooo very different from my relationships before that.  And sooo much better.  Des used a lot of the "right" words with Chris, but who knows if they were her real thoughts, or producer lines.  If they were her real thoughts, they have a good chance.  Her line about finding what she needed instead of what she wanted makes sense and gives me hope.  Tempered hope.

Time will tell.  I don't think even they know today.

I agree with how you worded the above.  I think that Des was looking for that "crazy infatuated heart pounding" kind of feeling, which was definitely there with Brooks.  And I am willing to bet that that is how she felt with those guys in her past who did not love her back, as much as she loved them.

With Chris, she probably never felt that crazy infatuation with him, and she kept thinking that there was something missing.  But, her relationship was Chris was easy, calm - without any of the angst that she associated with the feeling of love.   I think that the turning point for Des, after Brooks left, and she decided to carry on with Chris and Drew, was when Chris told her that what he liked about their relationship was that they never took any steps backwards, and they always picked up where they left off.  I saw an AH HA moment in Des' eyes.  I think that was the moment that Des decided that maybe she needed to let go, give Chris a chance, even if she wasn't completely at the finish line with him.

So much of what Des said that she was looking for, Chris has and was openly offering those things to her.  I think that Des knew that she loved Chris on so many levels and could picture a future with him, but in my personal opinion, she decided to take that leap of faith with him, in the hopes that her feelings for him could and would someday catch up to his.

It is really up to them now where this relationship goes.  I think that Des made a conscious decision to listen to her head, and not to rely soley on what the heart was telling her.  If they do get married and start a family, then I can see Chris being an excellent father, as well as being a wonderful husband.  In my opinion, there is nothing sexier and more adorable than a man who is a loving father.  I do think that Chris is the whole package, and I do hope that Des will give it a real chance to see if this will work for them both.  Only time will tell.

Really good observations, too. This really is their way forward.

I hope for Chris that Des really is seeing the difference and loving him back the way he deserves to be loved.

Interesting,

I didn't see any semblance of unresolved feelings for Brooks at all. I saw awkwardness on BOTH parts and that to me showed that she was through with Brooks. I cannot overlook the fact that she looked SO happy with Chris. We've seen the shows when things are already uncomfortable between the lead and the F1 (Bremily anyone?) and I saw nothing like that last night. I think things have only gotten stronger between Des & Chris and I am HOPING that they can make it.

LLiza wrote:

The only thing I would love to know now, and then I'll stop, is HOW Fleiss created a bogus storyline and kept his real secret so well, while showing the actual story so clearly on the screen.  Funny how he made such a difference and fooled not only RS, but everyone's "trusted sources" as well.

I know, right?

He's the master. Such a sleeze, but one can't argue with the talent.

I wonder if he can get his head through doorways today? The man must be gloating BIG TIME!

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ABC (8.672 million viewers, #1; adults 18-49: 2.6, #1) pulled in front on Monday thanks to the two-hour season finale of "The Bachelorette" (8.841 million viewers, #2; adults 18-49: 2.6, #1) plus the reunion special "The Bachelorette: After the Final Rose" (8.334 million viewers, #3; adults 18-49: 2.5, #T2).
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I wonder how many were "new" viewers and how many were viewers who normally watch the day after on the internet, but try to catch the finale as it happens?

Either way, I'm sure they are happy.

relaxing wrote:Have to pipe up to say something I've said before, but Brooks fans can't be just painted as people following the spoilers and wanting to root for the winner and ignoring or dismissing the sleuthing.  That's not fair. I almost never root for the spoiled F1, they usually aren't my favorite but Brooks happened to be both.

I fell in love with his character, one of my fave's ever, and I loved watching Des fall for him - which she did.  That's a fact.  So spoilers or not, I would have been the die-hard Bres fan that I was.  Wanting Des to end up in love and with the guy that I was most into.  They're story made the season for me, along Zak and some of the fun group dates.  I could never get into her relationships with Chris or Drew.  I wish her and Chris well.  But without the spoiler, or with a spoiler of Chris F1, I would still have been 100% on the Bres train.

Also, I love the sleuthing. My favorite part of this board.  Don't know why you can't be a fan of the spoiled F1 and still appreciative of sleuthing.  They're not mutually exclusive.

I have never posted before, but have been a lurker for a very long time. I just wanted to echo relaxing's note above. Although I really liked Chris (loved his 1st night limo exit) and Drew (loved his sweetness and defense of Des), I was very drawn to Brooks due to his dates with Des. Chris and Drew are more my type physically, but Brooks is more my type cerebrally. Clearly, we never know what insights the cutting-room-floor conversations between the lead and his/her suitors contained, but to me, Brooks thoughts seemed more direct as to what he was looking for in a life partner. They seemed deeper from the get-go - like he was trying to see if she was a good fit for him as well rather than just trying to impress her.

Both Brooks & Des said they lived in the moment as much as they could on the show. It was in those moments that I believe Brooks was in love with Des. If you have any doubt about his feelings for her, all you have to do is re-watch the "skipping, jogging, running, finish line" date. Look at the smile on Brooks' face when she responds to his question about where she thinks they are on that scale and she says, "I'm running." If that smile does not reflect the look of a man in love and happy with her response, I don't know what is.

Although I'm disappointed that the love story that I saw begin with their first date didn't have staying power, I applaud Brooks for being honest with Des in Antigua. It showed character to go to her, knowing he was going to hurt her, and not back down simply because it was going to be heart-wrenching. Regardless of what people here think of him (and some of the comments have been harsh), the man has courage and follows a strong moral compass.

Last night, both Des and Brooks seemed to accept their fate as a couple, which took some of the sting out of what I'd hoped would be the outcome of this season.  I want to believe she doesn't still love him - for Chris' sake. So, I'm just going to focus on Chris' love for her (which I don't doubt in the least) and hope that she will (if she doesn't already) love him as much as he clearly loves her. He deserves nothing less.

melika wrote:Does anyone else think that she is trying to force herself to love Chris as much as he loves her? I mean she said to Nate last night (about Brooks).." it was so hard and it took me a really long time to get over it... but I am good now" So in just a matter of days? Really? she looks kind of pathetic to me. Just curious what your take is... ladies?

Hard to say from edited TV, of course, but I think Des didn't know what real love is supposed to feel like, or at least real love for her (everyone is different), as several posters have commented. She had lust and the insecurity of deep infatuation confused with love. The evidence is in always falling for the wrong guys. If you take these relationships out of the bubble and don't have them running simultaneously, having her start to understand what her less frantic feelings for Chris actually do mean is plausible. For a long time on the show she used the right words with Chris, the ones I use as my "tell" when people are dating to know who is going to end up married, but what we'll never know is if those were her real feelings in the moment, or producer fed and part of a story line (which could be written before, during, or after).

Was she really "good" in that moment with her brother? Highly doubt it. But she may have made a positive decision to figure out if she was looking for the right feelings when thinking about falling in love, and to change her pattern, and may have also seen true possibilities with Chris, albeit with distance left to travel.

They made the story believable, and I know we're watching a story. But when she has moved this weekend - we'll know she's meant it. The real relationship starts now. They meet on the show, fall in love for real (if they are going to) later.

Lievta wrote: I applaud Brooks for being honest with Des in Antigua. It showed character to go to her, knowing he was going to hurt her, and not back down simply because it was going to be heart-wrenching. Regardless of what people here think of him (and some of the comments have been harsh), the man has courage and follows a strong moral compass.

I agree, he did what he had to do for both of their sakes, and to give Des a fighting chance at finding something real from the show. Wish he could have gotten there sooner for both their sakes, but it has to be hard while in the bubble.

Knowing how it all played out now, I have total respect for him.

melika wrote:Does anyone else think that she is trying to force herself to love Chris as much as he loves her? I mean she said to Nate last night (about Brooks).." it was so hard and it took me a really long time to get over it... but I am good now" So in just a matter of days? Really? she looks kind of pathetic to me. Just curious what your take is... ladies?

I think she accepted the proposal because she had to (either in the contract or it was the ending she was backed into, no lead goes into their season hoping for a Brad 1.0 ending). DeAnna was in a similar situation on her Bette season. Des said she was done and wanted to go home after Brooks left. DeAnna reportedly said the same thing after Graham checked out (also after his HTD). She later said she felt a lot of pressure to get engaged (I doubt any of us can comprehend just how much the leads go through) and it was a huge mistake.

Jason and Molly said on their podcast the lead is constantly reminded of how much money is spent on the show. That is just one tactic they use to manipulate the lead into doing the job they signed up for, which is giving the audience a happy ending. It's frustrating that "let's date in the real world" is no longer considered good enough on this show. Chris and Des would've been better off getting engaged at a later date considering the drama and heartbreak she went through days before Chris proposed.

They key difference in DeAnna and Des is the quality of their F1. Chris seems like a great guy. That doesn't mean he's a perfect match for everyone, but she wasn't stuck with someone like Jesse so I think Des has a much better chance than DeAnna ever did of making it work. I am guessing many of us have dated really great guys where it ultimately didn't work out for various reasons, so being a good man or a good woman isn't enough to make every relationship last forever. (You know, the ex-boyfriend you'd set up with a friend because you know how solid he is, he just wasn't right for you.) So it's not like they can just coast into wedded bliss, but if they both want it to work there's really no reason to let the past dictate where their relationship goes from here.