Episode 10 (Finale Part 1) - 7/29 - Bachelorette 9 - Discussion - Spoilers

Kashathediva wrote:Will you marry me = hey wanna hang out after the show? Play your cards right and you can cheer me on for DWTS!

 

SouthernMomOf4 wrote:

What you are seeing as conflicted, others see as him feeling guilty.

Being in love with someone is not contingent upon them being in love with you - you either feel it or you don't.   Saying Brooks suddenly decides he is in love with Des because she says she loves him would be like saying Des no longer has feelings for Brooks because he said he doesn't love her.

It just doesn't work that way.

 
 
I agree. I think that if he did love her and knew that, he wouldn't have said he didn't. He would have either said he loved her or nothing at all. To say you don't love someone is confirmation enough. It shouldn't matter how she feels. You don't all of a sudden love someone based on their reaction. If he did love her and didn't realized it, he sure would have felt enough emotion not to say the opposite.

Kashathediva wrote:Will you marry me = hey wanna hang out after the show? Play your cards right and you can cheer me on for DWTS!

:giggle: 

2boys3girls wrote:

SouthernMomOf4 wrote:

What you are seeing as conflicted, others see as him feeling guilty.

Being in love with someone is not contingent upon them being in love with you - you either feel it or you don't.   Saying Brooks suddenly decides he is in love with Des because she says she loves him would be like saying Des no longer has feelings for Brooks because he said he doesn't love her.

It just doesn't work that way.

 
 
I agree. I think that if he did love her and knew that, he wouldn't have said he didn't. He would have either said he loved her or nothing at all. To say you don't love someone is confirmation enough. It shouldn't matter how she feels. You don't all of a sudden love someone based on their reaction. If he did love her and didn't realized it, he sure would have felt enough emotion not to say the opposite.

But was that his final answer?? Maybe it was not his final answer and he still has two lifelines left--poll the audience and phone a friend. He could have called Effie and he could have polled our forum. He still has a 5 days. We need a poll!!

Kashathediva wrote:Will you marry me = hey wanna hang out after the show? Play your cards right and you can cheer me on for DWTS!

OMG -- that line is soooo awesome!! Don't you wonder if Sean ever said that to Catherine?? His own arrogance would probably make it seem like a natural followup to a proposal. Damn, I am still laughing at your post!!

Kashathediva wrote:

2boys3girls wrote:

SouthernMomOf4 wrote:

What you are seeing as conflicted, others see as him feeling guilty.

Being in love with someone is not contingent upon them being in love with you - you either feel it or you don't.   Saying Brooks suddenly decides he is in love with Des because she says she loves him would be like saying Des no longer has feelings for Brooks because he said he doesn't love her.

It just doesn't work that way.

 
 
I agree. I think that if he did love her and knew that, he wouldn't have said he didn't. He would have either said he loved her or nothing at all. To say you don't love someone is confirmation enough. It shouldn't matter how she feels. You don't all of a sudden love someone based on their reaction. If he did love her and didn't realized it, he sure would have felt enough emotion not to say the opposite.

But was that his final answer?? Maybe it was not his final answer and he still has two lifelines left--poll the audience and phone a friend. He could have called Effie and he could have polled our forum. He still has a 5 days. We need a poll!!

Kasha -- you are on a roll!! Keep it up!! (Though I thought that his mommy and sister WERE two of his lifelines!)

2boys3girls wrote:

SouthernMomOf4 wrote:

What you are seeing as conflicted, others see as him feeling guilty.

Being in love with someone is not contingent upon them being in love with you - you either feel it or you don't.   Saying Brooks suddenly decides he is in love with Des because she says she loves him would be like saying Des no longer has feelings for Brooks because he said he doesn't love her.

It just doesn't work that way.

 
 
I agree. I think that if he did love her and knew that, he wouldn't have said he didn't. He would have either said he loved her or nothing at all. To say you don't love someone is confirmation enough. It shouldn't matter how she feels. You don't all of a sudden love someone based on their reaction. If he did love her and didn't realized it, he sure would have felt enough emotion not to say the opposite.

what both of you are saying is fine in theory when talking about reality... but not necessarily when you're talking reality tv... where there's very little that's real about the dating process. The lead's feelings are probably more straight forward but the contestants, that's something different. Paranoia is probably the most common feeling, and doubt.. lots of doubt about if any of the feelings being shown to them by the lead is sincere or real. We witnessed it for ourselves this week. We saw Des on her FD;s with Chris and Drew.... and then heard her tell Brooks that she would have rather have been with him than the other guys. So who's the delusional ones? Chris? Drew? Des? they were all ready to get married! and it turns out none of their feelings were being returned to them!! Or instead of delusional... maybe. just maybe they're all under the spell of the dynamics of the show and you're basically being lied right to your face, all in the name of producing a tv show. Brooks on the other hand (not saying this is 100% what happened as none of us know, even if think we're an authority on the subject) may have held back from the beginning, leery of what was going on with the other guys. Once he heard that she loved him, that definitely could (I said could not did) have been a game changer for him and got him to reassess his feelings. Maybe what he said to her was final for him, but according to Des we do see him again, next week... so does she seek him out... or does he come looking for her?? and for what reason? I'm going to wait and see how it all plays out  

^^^^Again, good post, NV.

Basically it is one big mindf*ck by Fleiss and he is laughing his a** off that it has gone on so long. Yet, every season there are a few real nice folks who come out of this franchise. IDK, at this point it is making me coocoo. Reading and posting here makes it more fun though.

My thought watching last night's episode is that I'm not comfortable with what Brooks thinks (according to what was shown) love is supposed to feel like. Pain? In my experience that was a sign that a relationship was NOT meeting your needs, and that what you felt wasn't healthy. I believe that when you fall in love with the right person, it feels good, it feels secure. I think he was looking for a feeling with Des that doesn't belong with real love.

Now, the whole idea that you have to feel love after being together for less a sum total of 24 - 48 hours is ridiculous. I do think he would know if he wasn't feeling "it" at all, and wasn't going to, but as I said above, I worry that he's been looking for the wrong feelings to start with, that he seems to need a relationship to be unhealthy.

Lol, as if I could know anything based on an edited show of people I don't know! But, truly, that was the story I was seeing.

So, in my thinking, that is the window that could be walked through for him to change his mind. He could realize that what him and Des are starting is healthy and positive, while what he has assumed he should feel is unhealthy and negative.

Odds of them making it regardless? Pretty darn slim. But I was really taken back by his description of what love should feel like, and I'm curious if others could relate to it.

Kashathediva wrote:

But was that his final answer?? Maybe it was not his final answer and he still has two lifelines left--poll the audience and phone a friend. He could have called Effie and he could have polled our forum. He still has a 5 days. We need a poll!!

 
If it wasn't, I will be . What was it, a week at the most between the filming of the break up and the FRC? PCMIIW! That will seem genuine

ImeldaMarcos wrote:Basically it is one big mindf*ck by Fleiss and he is laughing his a** off that it has gone on so long. Yet, every season there are a few real nice folks who come out of this franchise. IDK, at this point it is making me coocoo. Reading and posting here makes it more fun though.

Yeah.  And I can't help but think about how much the producers must have been messing with Brook's mind.  That they let him go back to Idaho with a film crew, and that they had Chris pay him a visit, are things leading me to see intense producer involvement.  Does make me wonder if even watching this show is moral, since I'm supporting pretty twisted manipulation performed in the interest of creating my entertainment.  Watching that episode, I kept going back to Jason and Molly's recent podcast talking about how no one with a conscious can stay in a producer job for long, it is just too twisted.

And yet I watch.  Despite knowing.