Re: Episode 10 (Finale Part 1) - 7/29 - Bachelorette 9 - Discussion - Spoilers

by bamafan Thu Aug 01, 2013 4:54 pm

I hope Des and Brooks have deep feelings for each other and they realize it. This could work in real life if feelings are deep enough and they are willing to work at it. Oh well I'm just saying, happy ever after with a fairy tale ending!

by Aunties_Love Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:05 pm

albean99 wrote:
rosesrREd wrote:
leselihau wrote:Not sure if it's been said or not...but I question if any of the cast involved this season truly know how to love or what being loved feels like. I have been married for 4 years and I can tell you that the day I first said I love you to my husband, to the day that I said my wedding vows, to today my definition of love has changed by leaps and bounds. Some of my closest friends have been married for 10, 15, 20+ years and my parents will hit 40 years this fall...all would say the same thing. Love changes, it adapts and if you're lucky it grows.

I'm sure most if not all of us have said "I love you" before to only come back later and realize that that wasn't really love...or maybe it was the closest thing to "love" you've felt...or maybe it was as capable of being in love as you were at that moment in time.

I would question if Des really "loves" Brooks. Because if she does...no way could she have made out with Chris & Drew just days before (and after) she said she loved Brooks. I realize there's a show to make and she's under contract. But this might be a moment where she's only as in love as she is capable of being. And Brooks saying he knows what love feels like and this isn't it. Well, what if when he previously felt "love" it was only the closest thing he'd ever felt. And now this feels totally different than that and he's not sure what to think of this new feeling. Or maybe for both for Des she's in love with the thought of being in love. Who really knows?

I'm not judging either of them. It's a process they have to go through and they are the ones that define their version of love. They are people and us judging them does no one any good, not them, not us, and not anyone else. Not to mention the fact that at the end of the day...this is a show with a story to tell. Certainly not my story, certainly not your story, and certainly not Des/Brooks/Chris/Drew's stories....it is TPTB story to tell. They get to pick the cast, write the script, and then show you what they want to show you.

ITA!! I knew I found my husband the moment I saw him. I didn't even know his name, and I felt a huge attraction to him, and knew we were soulmates. We have been married, very happily for 8 years.

The fact that Brooks did not feel he was in love with Des and left, only proves to me that IF they do get back together, this relationship will not last. I really do not understand how people can be "happy" that Des and Brooks are together(if they are), because they will never get married, and there will be more heartache to come for both of them.

ITA with the bolded. It's not a problem to me that he told her (also CH & mom/sister) all of that & left but if he comes back & has a sudden change of heart. He didn't leave himself wiggle room imo. He was very definitive that he wasn't in love with Des. I feel for her.

Once again, I find myself agreeing with you albean. Brooks was VERY expresive with CH, mom, sister and finally Des that he just doesn't love her. If he told that many people how he felt, there is very little room for him to all of a sudden have an epiphany.

by eliza3 Thu Aug 01, 2013 7:05 pm

Aunties_Love wrote:
albean99 wrote:
rosesrREd wrote:
leselihau wrote:Not sure if it's been said or not...but I question if any of the cast involved this season truly know how to love or what being loved feels like. I have been married for 4 years and I can tell you that the day I first said I love you to my husband, to the day that I said my wedding vows, to today my definition of love has changed by leaps and bounds. Some of my closest friends have been married for 10, 15, 20+ years and my parents will hit 40 years this fall...all would say the same thing. Love changes, it adapts and if you're lucky it grows.

I'm sure most if not all of us have said "I love you" before to only come back later and realize that that wasn't really love...or maybe it was the closest thing to "love" you've felt...or maybe it was as capable of being in love as you were at that moment in time.

I would question if Des really "loves" Brooks. Because if she does...no way could she have made out with Chris & Drew just days before (and after) she said she loved Brooks. I realize there's a show to make and she's under contract. But this might be a moment where she's only as in love as she is capable of being. And Brooks saying he knows what love feels like and this isn't it. Well, what if when he previously felt "love" it was only the closest thing he'd ever felt. And now this feels totally different than that and he's not sure what to think of this new feeling. Or maybe for both for Des she's in love with the thought of being in love. Who really knows?

I'm not judging either of them. It's a process they have to go through and they are the ones that define their version of love. They are people and us judging them does no one any good, not them, not us, and not anyone else. Not to mention the fact that at the end of the day...this is a show with a story to tell. Certainly not my story, certainly not your story, and certainly not Des/Brooks/Chris/Drew's stories....it is TPTB story to tell. They get to pick the cast, write the script, and then show you what they want to show you.

ITA!! I knew I found my husband the moment I saw him. I didn't even know his name, and I felt a huge attraction to him, and knew we were soulmates. We have been married, very happily for 8 years.

The fact that Brooks did not feel he was in love with Des and left, only proves to me that IF they do get back together, this relationship will not last. I really do not understand how people can be "happy" that Des and Brooks are together(if they are), because they will never get married, and there will be more heartache to come for both of them.

ITA with the bolded. It's not a problem to me that he told her (also CH & mom/sister) all of that & left but if he comes back & has a sudden change of heart. He didn't leave himself wiggle room imo. He was very definitive that he wasn't in love with Des. I feel for her.
Once again, I find myself agreeing with you albean. Brooks was VERY expresive with CH, mom, sister and finally Des that he just doesn't love her. If he told that many people how he felt, there is very little room for him to all of a sudden have an epiphany.

I've been listening to Molly and Jason's podcast where they talk about the manipulation and deceit that the producers heave on the contestants. I think it is totally possible that Brooks was told repeatedly that while he may have a great relationship with Des, he should see her relationship she has with Chris or Drew or whomever. Be told that long enough no matter how much you care or are starting to love her i can see him leaving sooner than later since clearly he may think he is goings to be dumped at some point
I just think we have no idea what has been done and said behind the scenes. Thecontestants think the producers are their friend. If my friend told me repeated that I was going to be dumped, I would think twice too Especially in a bubble like that.

by Guest Thu Aug 01, 2013 8:05 pm

Aunties_Love wrote:
albean99 wrote:
rosesrREd wrote:
leselihau wrote:Not sure if it's been said or not...but I question if any of the cast involved this season truly know how to love or what being loved feels like. I have been married for 4 years and I can tell you that the day I first said I love you to my husband, to the day that I said my wedding vows, to today my definition of love has changed by leaps and bounds. Some of my closest friends have been married for 10, 15, 20+ years and my parents will hit 40 years this fall...all would say the same thing. Love changes, it adapts and if you're lucky it grows.

I'm sure most if not all of us have said "I love you" before to only come back later and realize that that wasn't really love...or maybe it was the closest thing to "love" you've felt...or maybe it was as capable of being in love as you were at that moment in time.

I would question if Des really "loves" Brooks. Because if she does...no way could she have made out with Chris & Drew just days before (and after) she said she loved Brooks. I realize there's a show to make and she's under contract. But this might be a moment where she's only as in love as she is capable of being. And Brooks saying he knows what love feels like and this isn't it. Well, what if when he previously felt "love" it was only the closest thing he'd ever felt. And now this feels totally different than that and he's not sure what to think of this new feeling. Or maybe for both for Des she's in love with the thought of being in love. Who really knows?

I'm not judging either of them. It's a process they have to go through and they are the ones that define their version of love. They are people and us judging them does no one any good, not them, not us, and not anyone else. Not to mention the fact that at the end of the day...this is a show with a story to tell. Certainly not my story, certainly not your story, and certainly not Des/Brooks/Chris/Drew's stories....it is TPTB story to tell. They get to pick the cast, write the script, and then show you what they want to show you.

ITA!! I knew I found my husband the moment I saw him. I didn't even know his name, and I felt a huge attraction to him, and knew we were soulmates. We have been married, very happily for 8 years.

The fact that Brooks did not feel he was in love with Des and left, only proves to me that IF they do get back together, this relationship will not last. I really do not understand how people can be "happy" that Des and Brooks are together(if they are), because they will never get married, and there will be more heartache to come for both of them.

ITA with the bolded. It's not a problem to me that he told her (also CH & mom/sister) all of that & left but if he comes back & has a sudden change of heart. He didn't leave himself wiggle room imo. He was very definitive that he wasn't in love with Des. I feel for her.
Once again, I find myself agreeing with you albean. Brooks was VERY expresive with CH, mom, sister and finally Des that he just doesn't love her. If he told that many people how he felt, there is very little room for him to all of a sudden have an epiphany.

I agree too...and then in Des's blog she said she was surprised to see that convo as if she hadnt known about it....it'd be pretty sick to have to see that if she were engaged to Brooks. Des has been giving off the impression she wants a guy to love her unconditionally...Brooks doesnt' seem to be that guy for her.

by Guest Thu Aug 01, 2013 8:07 pm

Aunties_Love wrote:
albean99 wrote:
rosesrREd wrote:
leselihau wrote:Not sure if it's been said or not...but I question if any of the cast involved this season truly know how to love or what being loved feels like. I have been married for 4 years and I can tell you that the day I first said I love you to my husband, to the day that I said my wedding vows, to today my definition of love has changed by leaps and bounds. Some of my closest friends have been married for 10, 15, 20+ years and my parents will hit 40 years this fall...all would say the same thing. Love changes, it adapts and if you're lucky it grows.

I'm sure most if not all of us have said "I love you" before to only come back later and realize that that wasn't really love...or maybe it was the closest thing to "love" you've felt...or maybe it was as capable of being in love as you were at that moment in time.

I would question if Des really "loves" Brooks. Because if she does...no way could she have made out with Chris & Drew just days before (and after) she said she loved Brooks. I realize there's a show to make and she's under contract. But this might be a moment where she's only as in love as she is capable of being. And Brooks saying he knows what love feels like and this isn't it. Well, what if when he previously felt "love" it was only the closest thing he'd ever felt. And now this feels totally different than that and he's not sure what to think of this new feeling. Or maybe for both for Des she's in love with the thought of being in love. Who really knows?

I'm not judging either of them. It's a process they have to go through and they are the ones that define their version of love. They are people and us judging them does no one any good, not them, not us, and not anyone else. Not to mention the fact that at the end of the day...this is a show with a story to tell. Certainly not my story, certainly not your story, and certainly not Des/Brooks/Chris/Drew's stories....it is TPTB story to tell. They get to pick the cast, write the script, and then show you what they want to show you.

ITA!! I knew I found my husband the moment I saw him. I didn't even know his name, and I felt a huge attraction to him, and knew we were soulmates. We have been married, very happily for 8 years.

The fact that Brooks did not feel he was in love with Des and left, only proves to me that IF they do get back together, this relationship will not last. I really do not understand how people can be "happy" that Des and Brooks are together(if they are), because they will never get married, and there will be more heartache to come for both of them.

ITA with the bolded. It's not a problem to me that he told her (also CH & mom/sister) all of that & left but if he comes back & has a sudden change of heart. He didn't leave himself wiggle room imo. He was very definitive that he wasn't in love with Des. I feel for her.
Once again, I find myself agreeing with you albean. Brooks was VERY expresive with CH, mom, sister and finally Des that he just doesn't love her. If he told that many people how he felt, there is very little room for him to all of a sudden have an epiphany.

I agree too...and then in Des's blog she said she was surprised to see that convo as if she hadnt known about it....it'd be pretty sick to have to see that if she were engaged to Brooks. Des has been giving off the impression she wants a guy to love her unconditionally...Brooks doesnt' seem to be that guy for her.

by Guest Fri Aug 02, 2013 12:05 am

So many tears have been shed with more to come. My heart goes out to her. As hard as it was for me to watch it must have been horrible for her.

by Pattycake92 Fri Aug 02, 2013 1:43 am

Aunties_Love wrote:
albean99 wrote:
rosesrREd wrote:
leselihau wrote:Not sure if it's been said or not...but I question if any of the cast involved this season truly know how to love or what being loved feels like. I have been married for 4 years and I can tell you that the day I first said I love you to my husband, to the day that I said my wedding vows, to today my definition of love has changed by leaps and bounds. Some of my closest friends have been married for 10, 15, 20+ years and my parents will hit 40 years this fall...all would say the same thing. Love changes, it adapts and if you're lucky it grows.

I'm sure most if not all of us have said "I love you" before to only come back later and realize that that wasn't really love...or maybe it was the closest thing to "love" you've felt...or maybe it was as capable of being in love as you were at that moment in time.

I would question if Des really "loves" Brooks. Because if she does...no way could she have made out with Chris & Drew just days before (and after) she said she loved Brooks. I realize there's a show to make and she's under contract. But this might be a moment where she's only as in love as she is capable of being. And Brooks saying he knows what love feels like and this isn't it. Well, what if when he previously felt "love" it was only the closest thing he'd ever felt. And now this feels totally different than that and he's not sure what to think of this new feeling. Or maybe for both for Des she's in love with the thought of being in love. Who really knows?

I'm not judging either of them. It's a process they have to go through and they are the ones that define their version of love. They are people and us judging them does no one any good, not them, not us, and not anyone else. Not to mention the fact that at the end of the day...this is a show with a story to tell. Certainly not my story, certainly not your story, and certainly not Des/Brooks/Chris/Drew's stories....it is TPTB story to tell. They get to pick the cast, write the script, and then show you what they want to show you.

ITA!! I knew I found my husband the moment I saw him. I didn't even know his name, and I felt a huge attraction to him, and knew we were soulmates. We have been married, very happily for 8 years.

The fact that Brooks did not feel he was in love with Des and left, only proves to me that IF they do get back together, this relationship will not last. I really do not understand how people can be "happy" that Des and Brooks are together(if they are), because they will never get married, and there will be more heartache to come for both of them.

ITA with the bolded. It's not a problem to me that he told her (also CH & mom/sister) all of that & left but if he comes back & has a sudden change of heart. He didn't leave himself wiggle room imo. He was very definitive that he wasn't in love with Des. I feel for her.
Once again, I find myself agreeing with you albean. Brooks was VERY expresive with CH, mom, sister and finally Des that he just doesn't love her. If he told that many people how he felt, there is very little room for him to all of a sudden have an epiphany.

And again, Jason dumped Molly and got engaged to another woman, had sex with her, then realized his mistake. They are now married and one of the few successful relationships to come from this show. It doesn't really matter what happens during the filming of this highly produced, highly manipulated show. It's what happens after that matters. They have the same chance as any other couple. Which is like really small but still giggling

by Guest Fri Aug 02, 2013 2:26 am

Aunties_Love wrote:
albean99 wrote:
rosesrREd wrote:
leselihau wrote:Not sure if it's been said or not...but I question if any of the cast involved this season truly know how to love or what being loved feels like. I have been married for 4 years and I can tell you that the day I first said I love you to my husband, to the day that I said my wedding vows, to today my definition of love has changed by leaps and bounds. Some of my closest friends have been married for 10, 15, 20+ years and my parents will hit 40 years this fall...all would say the same thing. Love changes, it adapts and if you're lucky it grows.

I'm sure most if not all of us have said "I love you" before to only come back later and realize that that wasn't really love...or maybe it was the closest thing to "love" you've felt...or maybe it was as capable of being in love as you were at that moment in time.

I would question if Des really "loves" Brooks. Because if she does...no way could she have made out with Chris & Drew just days before (and after) she said she loved Brooks. I realize there's a show to make and she's under contract. But this might be a moment where she's only as in love as she is capable of being. And Brooks saying he knows what love feels like and this isn't it. Well, what if when he previously felt "love" it was only the closest thing he'd ever felt. And now this feels totally different than that and he's not sure what to think of this new feeling. Or maybe for both for Des she's in love with the thought of being in love. Who really knows?

I'm not judging either of them. It's a process they have to go through and they are the ones that define their version of love. They are people and us judging them does no one any good, not them, not us, and not anyone else. Not to mention the fact that at the end of the day...this is a show with a story to tell. Certainly not my story, certainly not your story, and certainly not Des/Brooks/Chris/Drew's stories....it is TPTB story to tell. They get to pick the cast, write the script, and then show you what they want to show you.

ITA!! I knew I found my husband the moment I saw him. I didn't even know his name, and I felt a huge attraction to him, and knew we were soulmates. We have been married, very happily for 8 years.

The fact that Brooks did not feel he was in love with Des and left, only proves to me that IF they do get back together, this relationship will not last. I really do not understand how people can be "happy" that Des and Brooks are together(if they are), because they will never get married, and there will be more heartache to come for both of them.

ITA with the bolded. It's not a problem to me that he told her (also CH & mom/sister) all of that & left but if he comes back & has a sudden change of heart. He didn't leave himself wiggle room imo. He was very definitive that he wasn't in love with Des. I feel for her.
Once again, I find myself agreeing with you albean. Brooks was VERY expresive with CH, mom, sister and finally Des that he just doesn't love her. If he told that many people how he felt, there is very little room for him to all of a sudden have an epiphany.

actually, brooks said a lot of different things. when talking to his mom & sis he said he has "crazy love" for her.

by Guest Fri Aug 02, 2013 3:31 am

Pattycake92 wrote:
Aunties_Love wrote:
albean99 wrote:
rosesrREd wrote:
leselihau wrote:Not sure if it's been said or not...but I question if any of the cast involved this season truly know how to love or what being loved feels like. I have been married for 4 years and I can tell you that the day I first said I love you to my husband, to the day that I said my wedding vows, to today my definition of love has changed by leaps and bounds. Some of my closest friends have been married for 10, 15, 20+ years and my parents will hit 40 years this fall...all would say the same thing. Love changes, it adapts and if you're lucky it grows.

I'm sure most if not all of us have said "I love you" before to only come back later and realize that that wasn't really love...or maybe it was the closest thing to "love" you've felt...or maybe it was as capable of being in love as you were at that moment in time.

I would question if Des really "loves" Brooks. Because if she does...no way could she have made out with Chris & Drew just days before (and after) she said she loved Brooks. I realize there's a show to make and she's under contract. But this might be a moment where she's only as in love as she is capable of being. And Brooks saying he knows what love feels like and this isn't it. Well, what if when he previously felt "love" it was only the closest thing he'd ever felt. And now this feels totally different than that and he's not sure what to think of this new feeling. Or maybe for both for Des she's in love with the thought of being in love. Who really knows?

I'm not judging either of them. It's a process they have to go through and they are the ones that define their version of love. They are people and us judging them does no one any good, not them, not us, and not anyone else. Not to mention the fact that at the end of the day...this is a show with a story to tell. Certainly not my story, certainly not your story, and certainly not Des/Brooks/Chris/Drew's stories....it is TPTB story to tell. They get to pick the cast, write the script, and then show you what they want to show you.

ITA!! I knew I found my husband the moment I saw him. I didn't even know his name, and I felt a huge attraction to him, and knew we were soulmates. We have been married, very happily for 8 years.

The fact that Brooks did not feel he was in love with Des and left, only proves to me that IF they do get back together, this relationship will not last. I really do not understand how people can be "happy" that Des and Brooks are together(if they are), because they will never get married, and there will be more heartache to come for both of them.

ITA with the bolded. It's not a problem to me that he told her (also CH & mom/sister) all of that & left but if he comes back & has a sudden change of heart. He didn't leave himself wiggle room imo. He was very definitive that he wasn't in love with Des. I feel for her.
Once again, I find myself agreeing with you albean. Brooks was VERY expresive with CH, mom, sister and finally Des that he just doesn't love her. If he told that many people how he felt, there is very little room for him to all of a sudden have an epiphany.

And again, Jason dumped Molly and got engaged to another woman, had sex with her, then realized his mistake. They are now married and one of the few successful relationships to come from this show. It doesn't really matt with er what happens during the filming of this highly produced, highly manipulated show. It's what happens after that matters. They have the same chance as any other couple. Which is like really small but still

well there are differences in these two scenarios....Jason told Molly he was in love (well it was really lust) with someone else (melissa) but I don't think it was because he wasn't in love with Molly at all...he just kind of got distracted with Melissa...but later he found out she was whiny and annoying and they had nothing in common. Right now there are no other girls to distract Brooks and he doesnt' feel like he's in love with her. I don't know...maybe he will change his mind but I just don't think that if Des is with him that she will have a guy who will always be there for her and that is what she wants.

by SouthernMomOf4 Fri Aug 02, 2013 9:06 am

So odd. When discussing Des, it's "the heart wants what the heart wants".

When discussing Brooks there are all these excuses, it was because of the handlers, it was because he is thinker, it was because of the other guys....

The guy said it in plain English.

I don't know why folks can't wrap their brains around this is now a work of fiction. How many seasons have there been? How many actual lasting relationships? How many contestants coming out saying it's scripted/they are manipulated/they chose a default?

Real life doesn't always have a happy ending...

by BachfanNY Fri Aug 02, 2013 9:17 am

SouthernMomOf4 wrote:So odd. When discussing Des, it's "the heart wants what the heart wants".

When discussing Brooks there are all these excuses, it was because of the handlers, it was because he is thinker, it was because of the other guys....

The guy said it in plain English.

I don't know why folks can't wrap their brains around this is now a work of fiction. How many seasons have there been? How many actual lasting relationships? How many contestants coming out saying it's scripted/they are manipulated/they chose a default?

Real life doesn't always have a happy ending...

You’re right about real life! :yes:

But I didn’t hear plain English when Brooks was speaking. Sounded more like gibberish to me!

by Piper61 Fri Aug 02, 2013 10:08 am

BachfanNY wrote:
SouthernMomOf4 wrote:So odd. When discussing Des, it's "the heart wants what the heart wants".

When discussing Brooks there are all these excuses, it was because of the handlers, it was because he is thinker, it was because of the other guys....

The guy said it in plain English.

I don't know why folks can't wrap their brains around this is now a work of fiction. How many seasons have there been? How many actual lasting relationships? How many contestants coming out saying it's scripted/they are manipulated/they chose a default?

Real life doesn't always have a happy ending...

You’re right about real life!

But I didn’t hear plain English when Brooks was speaking. Sounded more like gibberish to me!

And by the time all was "said" (we don't know what was actually spliced and diced, what was edited in order or out of order, etc.) and supposedly "done," Brooks was a mess and already missing the times they had...a lot...and having regrets. To be continued.

Real life is happening now for them, albeit in secrecy, so it will be fun getting to the ATFR and hearing from everyone, as well as watching what happens in the months to come.

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