Episode 10 (Finale Part 1) - 7/29 - Bachelorette 9 - Discussion - Spoilers

SouthernMomOf4 wrote:

latergator wrote:

SouthernMomOf4 wrote:That is supposition and conjecture.   His actions can just as easily be construed to mean that he felt horrible for hurting her but his words were his words.  

I know what love feels like and this isn't it.

And when offered more time by CH if he felt that would help him he said no, it wasn't about having more time.

No supposition, no conjecture, no assumptions, no slicing, no dicing, no "he was probably feeling/thinking, no superimposing what we WANT to happen.  Just his words spoken calmly and unemotionally in a setting where he did not have to justify himself, was not being pressured to say what the other wanted to hear, he could simply say what he felt.

Looking at the whole thing, it is obvious that Brooks is not into Des NEARLY as much as Des is into Brooks.  (Jogging/Running, suspect body language, etc.)

The bigger question here is, are EVERYONE'S sources tainted?  Or was there a back door deal made to salvage the season/the ratings/Des' reputation/Brooks' reputation.


It appears Fleiss will present the obligatory "Cinderella moment" next Monday according to all of the spoilers, but if this lasts until the next Bach season I will eat crow (barbecued please) AND everyone's hats (frosting would be nice) :giggles:

southernmom... I can only speak for myself and what I saw that was presented to us.  based on my understanding of love, coming from my own experience, both Des and Brooks are, as of the last show and were, as of the previous shows, falling in love with each other.  Des lit up when Brooks was near, she lit up when CH said his name.  Brooks lit up when he was around Des.  

I believe that Brooks thought he was doing the "right" thing for Des, allowing her to move on to what he thought she wanted with one of the other two guys. I don't think he dared to have that one on one time in the fantasy suite, his feelings might have swelled to the point he would really get his heart broken, it's possible that he might have thought he would not be able to step away if he went that far. the talk with his mom and sis in Boise had nothing to do with the fact that he didn't love her, he did... but more to the fact that he wasn't sure that he could think he was far enough along in his processing to propose to her.  his face lit up when he spoke of Des with his mom and sister... all the things he loved about her, etc.  then he let his mind get in the way.  his talk with CH, he was telling Chris the same thing as he told him mom... until Chris started asking questions trying to get Brooks to pinpoint his feelings. Brooks had no idea at that point and tried to answer how his head was telling him. I honestly believe he was striking first to get out before she could break his heart. although on the first date they both agreed they were willing to get their heart broke, and in actuality they both did, he was trying to protect himself.

do I believe he deserves another chance with Des, I absolutely do... at least to tell her what a horses arse he was, that the realization that what he had been tormented with was not the love part, it was the fear of the rejection part. words can be forgiven, and everyday that happens in real life and reality tv.  if the love is there between them, the words are just that... words.  the meaning of those words are measured with the heart not the head...

And I am saying it is in the eye of the beholder and that editing gives every opinion something to latch onto.  I can point to any number of instances where it was obvious she was way more into him than he was into her.  

I am looking at last week's episode with an eye to basic human behavior.  When we are calm and in a non-confrontational "safe" setting, that is when we feel free to say what we really feel.  We are not responsible for anyone else's feelings or lead by anyone else's reactions.  We are not "reacting" to any other stimuli.  Just sitting quietly expressing what we feel.  IMO, this is when people are the most honest.  No need to go on the defensive or the offensive, no need to justify or qualify what we are feeling, it is safe to just express what you truly feel.   The minute you place that same person in the hyper-emotional setting now they have to play offense and defense.  Now he has to react to the pain he is causing.  We have all "sugar coated" when we felt badly about hurting someone.  We have all tried to "let someone down easy".  Imagine how much more difficult that would be knowing you are being judged by millions.  Imagine him think oh my God, I am going to look like a horrible person, how do I fix this?  And then imagine him being manipulated by producers, handlers, and anyone else that can their hands on him between that moment and when he is convinced to come back.  At the end of the day, this is a business for Fleiss and Co. and they are not going to let millions go down the drain just because the guy the lead wants, and has painted herself into a corner with her words so she cannot choose anyone else, does not really want her.  I would bet the farm that they pulled out all the stops to get Brooks back into the fold, and I also would bet the farm there will be no crow on my dinner plate when all is said and done.

Frankly, I think he will be more of a horses arse coming back than some believe he was last week.  I could actually respect a man willing to say hey, this just isn't working for me and I need to walk away.  While it wasn't how I felt at the time, Brad I has my utmost respect.  He wasn't playing into the fantasy.  He did what was right.

Kashathediva wrote:

Piper61 wrote:

Sarah_XV wrote:All this talk about Brooks having more time and havng 'other options'. Sure CH suggested he should go to the FS or whatever..

But does anyone honestly think TPTB would have allowed that break-up to happen behind closed doors? With not a camera in sight? NO CHANCE!

I don't think so.  

This would never have gotten that far and cast and crew both know it.
Brooks could have had the time for FD and FS to talk about this and seen how it played out all before the door would have shut and crew leaving.
When the crew actually leaves it is not necessarily because something less than G rated is going to occur, it is because they got what they feel they need on film.
If there is even a hint of something that heavy, and in this case CH had a huge heads up, it's hashed out way before those door are closing.
IF Brooks had wanted to, the date could have happened. He did not want to go on. Plain and simple.

gabriele wrote:

latergator wrote:

Sarah_XV wrote:All this talk about Brooks having more time and havng 'other options'. Sure CH suggested he should go to the FS or whatever..

But does anyone honestly think TPTB would have allowed that break-up to happen behind closed doors? With not a camera in sight? NO CHANCE!

I totally agree Sarah... but twice the idea of FD came up in Idaho, and once with CH... the thought of being alone with Des on their date scared the bejesus out of him, and I believe the reason was he needed to step back before his heart broke.  if he took that time, I believe he knew he couldn't do that and would fall apart when she chose one of the other guys.  it was his last act of self preservation at that point, he knew that.

canyonvue mentioned that with his mormon background he may not be comfortable going to the FS on tv. i think this was probably the case and may be what prompted the timing of the breakup. with CH he was starting to say something about the FS, and stuttering, and they totally cut that comment off. i think it may have happened twice too that they cut the scene when he talked about it iirc. even if he isn't a practicing mormon right now those values are pretty ingrained and having his large family & friends see him going to the FS may not have been something he was comfortable with.

albean99 wrote:I don't think the FS has to be a stumbling block for anyone. Not everyone has gone there but many have made it very clear that it's to have time alone together for talking. He's 28 so I'm sure he could have handled it if he'd wanted.

Aunties_Love wrote:

gabriele wrote:

latergator wrote:

Sarah_XV wrote:All this talk about Brooks having more time and havng 'other options'. Sure CH suggested he should go to the FS or whatever..

But does anyone honestly think TPTB would have allowed that break-up to happen behind closed doors? With not a camera in sight? NO CHANCE!

I totally agree Sarah... but twice the idea of FD came up in Idaho, and once with CH... the thought of being alone with Des on their date scared the bejesus out of him, and I believe the reason was he needed to step back before his heart broke.  if he took that time, I believe he knew he couldn't do that and would fall apart when she chose one of the other guys.  it was his last act of self preservation at that point, he knew that.

canyonvue mentioned that with his mormon background he may not be comfortable going to the FS on tv. i think this was probably the case and may be what prompted the timing of the breakup. with CH he was starting to say something about the FS, and stuttering, and they totally cut that comment off. i think it may have happened twice too that they cut the scene when he talked about it iirc. even if he isn't a practicing mormon right now those values are pretty ingrained and having his large family & friends see him going to the FS may not have been something he was comfortable with.

So, continue on with the rest of the date and talk to her during it.  Let her know where you are coming from and what you think you need.  What's so hard with that?  Why break up with the girl before going on the date just because you "may" end up in the fs.  Tell her before hand how you feel, what your doubts are, what your feelings for the girl are.  But by all means, give HER and YOU the time on the rest of the date to explore your feelings versus giving up and putting your tail between your legs and running away from the situation without confronting it, yep, that really makes some wonder why he now comes crawling back?????

albean99 wrote:I don't think the FS has to be a stumbling block for anyone. Not everyone has gone there but many have made it very clear that it's to have time alone together for talking. He's 28 so I'm sure he could have handled it if he'd wanted.

Kashathediva wrote:

Piper61 wrote:

Sarah_XV wrote:All this talk about Brooks having more time and havng 'other options'. Sure CH suggested he should go to the FS or whatever..

But does anyone honestly think TPTB would have allowed that break-up to happen behind closed doors? With not a camera in sight? NO CHANCE!

I don't think so.  

This would never have gotten that far and cast and crew both know it.
Brooks could have had the time for FD and FS to talk about this and seen how it played out all before the door would have shut and crew leaving.
When the crew actually leaves it is not necessarily because something less than G rated is going to occur, it is because they got what they feel they need on film.
If there is even a hint of something that heavy, and in this case CH had a huge heads up, it's hashed out way before those door are closing.
IF Brooks had wanted to, the date could have happened. He did not want to go on. Plain and simple.

SouthernMomOf4 wrote:So odd. When discussing Des, it's "the heart wants what the heart wants".

When discussing Brooks there are all these excuses, it was because of the handlers, it was because he is thinker, it was because of the other guys....

The guy said it in plain English.

I don't know why folks can't wrap their brains around this is now a work of fiction. How many seasons have there been? How many actual lasting relationships? How many contestants coming out saying it's scripted/they are manipulated/they chose a default?

Real life doesn't always have a happy ending...