ATFR (Live) - 8/05 - Bachelorette 9 - Discussion and Spoilers

Beeleever wrote:I don't see the comparison to Ashley and JP as apples to apples. Ashley was most certainly NOT confessing her love to Ben in the most heart-wrenching, emotional break-up we've ever seen, five days before accepting JP's proposal. Ashley faked her way through the end of the show because she had to in order to be with JP. Des is the one that said she ONLY wanted to date Brooks. Big difference.

If your relationship is built on a solid foundation, there isn't ANYTHING that you shouldn't be able to address and work through. Having this big a skeleton in your closet, one that the whole world knows about, and not dealing with it head on, is a red flag for me. I'm a Des fan and I respect her right to make her own decisions, but this one worries me. I know we all see things differently and I'm good with that.

Bee, you are reading my mind! All of your recent posts almost word for word mimic what I have been thinking and have said elsewhere.

Chacharo wrote:

Luvvy wrote:^^Well, is not watching it truly avoiding it? She told him she loved Brooks. They say they've discussed it. Does he really need to see it? I feel like if she's been totally honest, they should be okay. I'm sure they have bigger problems than Brooks in the real world, like living together, getting to know each other more, etc.

Yeah, I think the Brooks ship has sailed.  I'm guessing the viewers are spending a lot more time discussing it than they are.  The show was done filming like 3 months ago?  It appears to me that they have moved way past it.  Good on them!

yep. I think so too. I think there's no sense Chris to watch it. because it's in the past. it was something Des once had with Brooks. Chris knows Des loved Brooks. Chris saw how much it hurted her that Brooks left. I think the most important thing is for Chris and Des to concentrate into their relationship and put past into past.

I think it's really possible to be "clouded" by your feelings and not to see the reality. I have experienced that. I have began to date guys whose personalities really didn't suit for me. Once my friend tried to warm me but I didn't listen, I had those  -glasses on. I think Des had quite a deep feelings for Chris too. (and her feelings has deepen since...)maybe what she felt for Brooks was something she had used to think is love. I think you can love/ feel love in different ways. maybe she was infatuated by Brooks...and what she felt for Chris was something more "calm".

Chris and Des said in the teleconference interview that they had not discussed Brooks after the proposal. That blows my mind. So, I agree that maybe they should have that conversation now. They might not have wanted to ruin the small amount of time they had together while dating in secret.

etsluu wrote:

Chacharo wrote:

Luvvy wrote:^^Well, is not watching it truly avoiding it? She told him she loved Brooks. They say they've discussed it. Does he really need to see it? I feel like if she's been totally honest, they should be okay. I'm sure they have bigger problems than Brooks in the real world, like living together, getting to know each other more, etc.

Yeah, I think the Brooks ship has sailed.  I'm guessing the viewers are spending a lot more time discussing it than they are.  The show was done filming like 3 months ago?  It appears to me that they have moved way past it.  Good on them!

yep. I think so too. I think there's no sense Chris to watch it. because it's in the past. it was something Des once had with Brooks. Chris knows Des loved Brooks. Chris saw how much it hurted her that Brooks left. I think the most important thing is for Chris and Des to concentrate into their relationship and put past into past.

I think it's really possible to be "clouded" by your feelings and not to see the reality. I have experienced that. I have began to date guys whose personalities really didn't suit for me. Once my friend tried to warm me but I didn't listen, I had those  -glasses on. I think Des had quite a deep feelings for Chris too. (and her feelings has deepen since...)maybe what she felt for Brooks was something she had used to think is love. I think you can love/ feel love in different ways. maybe she was infatuated by Brooks...and what she felt for Chris was something more "calm".

I agree with the boldest. Even Des said it was hard to accept being loved because she was used to the kind of relationship she had with Brooks- being the chaser and the one that's always giving the most. Maybe she thought that was love, but now knows what she has with Cheis is true love. Time will tell!!

Cecilia wrote:Chris and Des said in the teleconference interview that they had not discussed Brooks after the proposal.  That blows my mind.  So, I agree that maybe they should have that conversation now.  They might not have wanted to ruin the small amount of time they had together while dating in secret.

In an interview with Extra (I think it was Extra) I got the impression they definitely talked about it because Cheis sarcastically says "what happened" in regards to the Brooks thing. It was a sarcastic joke, as if he didn't know exactly what happened. And I thought on GMA Des said they did talk about it but I could be wrong. At least we know that Chris knows Des "loved" Brooks. We heard her say that much to him, and he saw how broken up she was about it at the RC w/ Drew. I just don't know what more can be done or said.

Des told Chris before the proposal that Brooks clouded her preception of things but she is clear about how things are. Brooks was her wants Chris is her needs she chose her needs in the end.

reason wrote:Des told Chris before the proposal that Brooks clouded her preception of things but she is clear about how things are.  Brooks was her wants Chris is her needs she chose her needs in the end.

Precisely. Des broke her pattern of always choosing the guy who didn't love her back. Chris changed that for her.

Beeleever wrote:I don't see the comparison to Ashley and JP as apples to apples. Ashley was most certainly NOT confessing her love to Ben in the most heart-wrenching, emotional break-up we've ever seen, five days before accepting JP's proposal. Ashley faked her way through the end of the show because she had to in order to be with JP. Des is the one that said she ONLY wanted to date Brooks. Big difference.

If your relationship is built on a solid foundation, there isn't ANYTHING that you shouldn't be able to address and work through. Having this big a skeleton in your closet, one that the whole world knows about, and not dealing with it head on, is a red flag for me. I'm a Des fan and I respect her right to make her own decisions, but this one worries me. I know we all see things differently and I'm good with that.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Des/Chris=Chres? is much more aware of what really went on than what they profess.
I just watched an interview video where Chris talks about knowing some things and compartmentalizing. One thing that is very possible, is that if the couple takes the stance that Chris did not view certain things--interviewers will stop asking him how he handled certain things.
It lets him and her off the hook with certain persistent questions as a simple assertive pat answer can be given. "I didn't watch it, so can't comment."
Then after awhile those questions are no longer asked and you move on as they are doing in their life.
Another thing, this couple loved the idea of the foiler spoiler. Loved it.

Starshine_16 wrote:

reason wrote:Des told Chris before the proposal that Brooks clouded her preception of things but she is clear about how things are.  Brooks was her wants Chris is her needs she chose her needs in the end.

Precisely. Des broke her pattern of always choosing the guy who didn't love her back. Chris changed that for her.

Off Topic.. They look great in your avatar Starshine..

In the real world, new relationships happen after break ups ALL THE TIME. This does not minimize the new relationship. It does not doom the new relationship to failure. If anything, we all come away from each failed relationship with new insight into ourselves and, hopefully, as better people!

Des and Chris are adorable together. Anyone who felt the need could most certainly go back and watch every episode and point to all kinds of looks, comments, body language, whatever that said Des was into Chris from the get go.

Fleiss and Company orchestrated the "most dramatic breakup" ever to get people talking during a disappointing ratings season. Hooray for them, they scored, big time.

I will admit to watching this minimally because I was never a Des fan and none of the guys really made me want to watch. Maybe that's why I can kind of stand outside the box and look at it differently, but it seems to me that right now folks are dissecting words with a microscope to try and somehow prove it was Brooks or no one. Why?

Every season there is some dramatic exit leaving the lead an emotional wreck. It's part of the formula. Not for nothing, but Des cried at the sight of spoiled lettuce this season so her turning into a puddle when one of her F3 called it quits really did not surprise me. And me believing the spoilers left me saying I would rather see her leave alone than leave with Brooks under any circumstances.

Yes, we heard what she said in the heat of the moment while Brooks was breaking up with her. We also don't know what liberties editing took with that footage and, since I have been the victim of comments taken out of context, I am taking that with a grain of salt. High emotions, tremendous pressure, late in the game, maybe some embarrassment mixed in.

It's over, it's done. Des and Chris appear happy and they are giving it a genuine shot. Nothing anyone says anywhere on the internet will change that. We can, however, give them a break, wish them the best and not inflict any further pressure on them by being negative.

I wish these two kids all the best and I hope they are very happy together. I also am keenly aware that at the end of the day their relationship status does not affect my reality one single bit. 

Climbing off the soapbox now!  

SouthernMomOf4 wrote:In the real world, new relationships happen after break ups ALL THE TIME.  This does not minimize the new relationship.  It does not doom the new relationship to failure.  If anything, we all come away from each failed relationship with new insight into ourselves and, hopefully, as better people!

Des and Chris are adorable together.  Anyone who felt the need could most certainly go back and watch every episode and point to all kinds of looks, comments, body language, whatever that said Des was into Chris from the get go.

Fleiss and Company orchestrated the "most dramatic breakup" ever to get people talking during a disappointing ratings season.  Hooray for them, they scored, big time.  

I will admit to watching this minimally because I was never a Des fan and none of the guys really made me want to watch.  Maybe that's why I can kind of stand outside the box and look at it differently, but it seems to me that right now folks are dissecting words with a microscope to try and somehow prove it was Brooks or no one.  Why?

Every season there is some dramatic exit leaving the lead an emotional wreck.  It's part of the formula.  Not for nothing, but Des cried at the sight of spoiled lettuce this season so her turning into a puddle when one of her F3 called it quits really did not surprise me.  And me believing the spoilers left me saying I would rather see her leave alone than leave with Brooks under any circumstances.

Yes, we heard what she said in the heat of the moment while Brooks was breaking up with her.  We also don't know what liberties editing took with that footage and, since I have been the victim of comments taken out of context, I am taking that with a grain of salt.  High emotions, tremendous pressure, late in the game, maybe some embarrassment mixed in.

It's over, it's done.  Des and Chris appear happy and they are giving it a genuine shot.  Nothing anyone says anywhere on the internet will change that.  We can, however, give them a break, wish them the best and not inflict any further pressure on them by being  negative.

I wish these two kids all the best and I hope they are very happy together.  I also am keenly aware that at the end of the day their relationship status does not affect my reality one single bit. 

Climbing off the soapbox now!   

That's some good posting!!!!!

Not sure if everyone has seen this video, but it speaks to the spoilers and the relationship:



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