ATFR (Live) - 8/05 - Bachelorette 9 - Discussion and Spoilers

veg_out wrote:Not sure if everyone has seen this video, but it speaks to the spoilers and the relationship:



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Thank you so much for posting this!! :Biggrin: 

SouthernMomOf4 wrote:In the real world, new relationships happen after break ups ALL THE TIME.  This does not minimize the new relationship.  It does not doom the new relationship to failure.  If anything, we all come away from each failed relationship with new insight into ourselves and, hopefully, as better people!

Des and Chris are adorable together.  Anyone who felt the need could most certainly go back and watch every episode and point to all kinds of looks, comments, body language, whatever that said Des was into Chris from the get go.

Fleiss and Company orchestrated the "most dramatic breakup" ever to get people talking during a disappointing ratings season.  Hooray for them, they scored, big time.  

I will admit to watching this minimally because I was never a Des fan and none of the guys really made me want to watch.  Maybe that's why I can kind of stand outside the box and look at it differently, but it seems to me that right now folks are dissecting words with a microscope to try and somehow prove it was Brooks or no one.  Why?

Every season there is some dramatic exit leaving the lead an emotional wreck.  It's part of the formula.  Not for nothing, but Des cried at the sight of spoiled lettuce this season so her turning into a puddle when one of her F3 called it quits really did not surprise me.  And me believing the spoilers left me saying I would rather see her leave alone than leave with Brooks under any circumstances.

Yes, we heard what she said in the heat of the moment while Brooks was breaking up with her.  We also don't know what liberties editing took with that footage and, since I have been the victim of comments taken out of context, I am taking that with a grain of salt.  High emotions, tremendous pressure, late in the game, maybe some embarrassment mixed in.

It's over, it's done.  Des and Chris appear happy and they are giving it a genuine shot.  Nothing anyone says anywhere on the internet will change that.  We can, however, give them a break, wish them the best and not inflict any further pressure on them by being  negative.

I wish these two kids all the best and I hope they are very happy together.  I also am keenly aware that at the end of the day their relationship status does not affect my reality one single bit. 

Climbing off the soapbox now!   

Great post and regarding the bolded I totally agree from personal experience.  I met my husband two weeks after a break up and we got engaged and married fairly quickly.  Was my husband just a rebound or "sloppy seconds"?  No.  I think it was perfect timing because with the other relationship so fresh in my mind it was so easy to see the difference in the relationship and easiness that was there with my husband.  For me personally it makes it totally plausible to see that Des could see more clearly and quickly what she had with Chris once Brooks was out of the picture and she could step back and compare it in her mind and heart.  Hope they make it last.  Loved the proposal!

sgjsnow wrote:

SouthernMomOf4 wrote:In the real world, new relationships happen after break ups ALL THE TIME.  This does not minimize the new relationship.  It does not doom the new relationship to failure.  If anything, we all come away from each failed relationship with new insight into ourselves and, hopefully, as better people!

Des and Chris are adorable together.  Anyone who felt the need could most certainly go back and watch every episode and point to all kinds of looks, comments, body language, whatever that said Des was into Chris from the get go.

Fleiss and Company orchestrated the "most dramatic breakup" ever to get people talking during a disappointing ratings season.  Hooray for them, they scored, big time.  

I will admit to watching this minimally because I was never a Des fan and none of the guys really made me want to watch.  Maybe that's why I can kind of stand outside the box and look at it differently, but it seems to me that right now folks are dissecting words with a microscope to try and somehow prove it was Brooks or no one.  Why?

Every season there is some dramatic exit leaving the lead an emotional wreck.  It's part of the formula.  Not for nothing, but Des cried at the sight of spoiled lettuce this season so her turning into a puddle when one of her F3 called it quits really did not surprise me.  And me believing the spoilers left me saying I would rather see her leave alone than leave with Brooks under any circumstances.

Yes, we heard what she said in the heat of the moment while Brooks was breaking up with her.  We also don't know what liberties editing took with that footage and, since I have been the victim of comments taken out of context, I am taking that with a grain of salt.  High emotions, tremendous pressure, late in the game, maybe some embarrassment mixed in.

It's over, it's done.  Des and Chris appear happy and they are giving it a genuine shot.  Nothing anyone says anywhere on the internet will change that.  We can, however, give them a break, wish them the best and not inflict any further pressure on them by being  negative.

I wish these two kids all the best and I hope they are very happy together.  I also am keenly aware that at the end of the day their relationship status does not affect my reality one single bit. 

Climbing off the soapbox now!   

Great post and regarding the bolded I totally agree from personal experience.  I met my husband two weeks after a break up and we got engaged and married fairly quickly.  Was my husband just a rebound or "sloppy seconds"?  No.  I think it was perfect timing because with the other relationship so fresh in my mind it was so easy to see the difference in the relationship and easiness that was there with my husband.  For me personally it makes it totally plausible to see that Des could see more clearly and quickly what she had with Chris once Brooks was out of the picture and she could step back and compare it in her mind and heart.  Hope they make it last.  Loved the proposal!

Absolutely!!!! So happy des!  

Lol at how much they loved fooling everyone! I can't get over it. It says so much about their natures and the nature of their relationship

Luvvy wrote:

Cecilia wrote:Chris and Des said in the teleconference interview that they had not discussed Brooks after the proposal.  That blows my mind.  So, I agree that maybe they should have that conversation now.  They might not have wanted to ruin the small amount of time they had together while dating in secret.

In an interview with Extra (I think it was Extra) I got the impression they definitely talked about it because Cheis sarcastically says "what happened" in regards to the Brooks thing. It was a sarcastic joke, as if he didn't know exactly what happened. And I thought on GMA Des said they did talk about it but I could be wrong. At least we know that Chris knows Des "loved" Brooks. We heard her say that much to him, and he saw how broken up she was about it at the RC w/ Drew. I just don't know what more can be done or said.

Here is an excerpt from digital spy where Des said Chris knows all the details of what went down with Brooks


We saw a bit of your conversation, Des, with Chris about what happened when Brooks left. What kind of talks did you have afterward to clear up what happened there?
Desiree: "I did explain to him during the proposal everything that had happened with Brooks, and I needed him to know that in order to move forward and be honest. Since the proposal, I don't know - we haven't needed to rehash anything more. He pretty much knows all the details, and that didn't bother him."
Chris: "Yeah, we've really been focusing on our relationship now and that's not something that everybody gets to see. I was glad that she was honest with me, and that's where we wanted to start a relationship and that's where we're going now."



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Just looking at Des post show - she looks like she's on cloud 9 (cringe)   
 
Anyway, I never heard her say she was completely over Brooks, and I don't think she was until after Monday night. She seems SO MUCH happier in her post show interviews than before, and particularly at the ATFR when rehashing the past with Brooks.  I think she needed that moment of closure with him. Girlfriend has moved on, I'm so happy for her!

This weekend they are moving to Seattle to a place she picked out. They are not moving into his place but starting new. I think that speaks volumes. They are also almost done with their week of PR and can finally live a normal life which they both want as opposed to last seasons couple who are still around but no wedding plans even though stated they would ASAP but DWTS got in the way. Des and Chris seem to be making mature logical choices. I also commend them for not commenting on the TV wedding. They want out of the spotlight to focus on each other. No promises it will work but their choices are wise and they are not playing this fame card
like a dead horse.

I think we as views need to realize this was a MF production and the drama created by them. Yes she did say she loved Brooks but all forgot what was followed and only heard the Brooks part. I feel like she was used for ratings and also feel she was smart enough to realize it even if it was late in the game. She knew he needed reassurance and when he finally did ditch her she probably realized it was not mature love. Look how dependent he was on his family. Asking advise is one thing but dragging it out and basically needing them to feed him answers and look for a way out at 28 years old is a bit off. I think she is mature enough to have stepped back after the initial shock and simply realized this was not meant to be. She knew it did not click with Drew and took care if it quick. This one she did have feelings for but once Brooks was gone she realized the stability and maturity of Chris vs Brooks. She said she always picked the wrong guys and I feel this was her wakeup call. I think she made a good choice.

After reading some of these posts I think many forget we only saw small bits which were edited very well to throw viewers off as well as RS and it worked. We never got to see much of them since from the very first date it became all about Brooks and we bought into it. I was sure he would return and did not watch the inal or that very reason. I am sure there were many hit scenes which were cut and we never saw it coming. This is a production and nothing more.

I am thrilled they will settle quietly in Seattle and go back to normal lives. As far as him not seeing the Brooks mess I think it shows what kind if man he is. Being secure and knowing he got the girl who promised before he proposed to not keep things from him is priceless. He trusts her. Will they make it? I have no idea but feel they are taking the right steps to make it work and get as far away from the show and LA. I wish them the very best. As I was not there and saw only what I was force fed for lack of a better word I am not going to judge either.

BachfanNY wrote:Just looking at Des post show - she looks like she's on cloud 9 (cringe)   
 
Anyway, I never heard her say she was completely over Brooks, and I don't think she was until after Monday night. She seems SO MUCH happier in her post show interviews than before, and particularly at the ATFR when rehashing the past with Brooks.  I think she needed that moment of closure with him. Girlfriend has moved on, I'm so happy for her!

Did you notice her body language when Brooks came out? She was leaning much more toward CH and not even remotely close to Brooks. Her legs crossed and pointing away too. I don't think she has feelings for him or at minimum positive ones. He strung her along. He knew that his feelings were behind yet took her home. More for his benefit than hers. Should it not have been the other way around?

Kashathediva wrote:

Beeleever wrote:I don't see the comparison to Ashley and JP as apples to apples. Ashley was most certainly NOT confessing her love to Ben in the most heart-wrenching, emotional break-up we've ever seen, five days before accepting JP's proposal. Ashley faked her way through the end of the show because she had to in order to be with JP. Des is the one that said she ONLY wanted to date Brooks. Big difference.

If your relationship is built on a solid foundation, there isn't ANYTHING that you shouldn't be able to address and work through. Having this big a skeleton in your closet, one that the whole world knows about, and not dealing with it head on, is a red flag for me. I'm a Des fan and I respect her right to make her own decisions, but this one worries me. I know we all see things differently and I'm good with that.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Des/Chris=Chres? is much more aware of what really went on than what they profess.
I just watched an interview video where Chris talks about knowing some things and compartmentalizing. One thing that is very possible, is that if the couple takes the stance that Chris did not view certain things--interviewers will stop asking him how he handled certain things.
It lets him and her off the hook with certain persistent questions as a simple assertive pat answer can be given. "I didn't watch it, so can't comment."
Then after awhile those questions are no longer asked and you move on as they are doing in their life.
Another thing, this couple loved the idea of the foiler spoiler. Loved it.

....and to this I say, who the he77 am I to judge. If they are good with all that went down? I guess no harm, no foul. I do believe they are maore aware than we of the machinations that went on behind the scenes. Chris was the most confident F1 I have ever seen. He said early on that he was falling in love and was not in that alone, that Des was right there with him and communicated so with her kisses. Confidence is kinda sexy on Chris.

ImeldaMarcos wrote:

Aunties_Love wrote:

sopearl wrote:The good news is: next season when RS announces the winner, we can sleuth away without thinking it's a waste of time.

So true!  LOL, talk about a bug up someone's butt, I had that when I was told that I am wasting my time by sleuthing.  LOL.

:WAVEY:  Hi Aunties! Just wanted to say that I never, ever, ever (God Taylor Swift is in my head) felt sleuthing was a waste of time. Fleiss did not give us much to sleuth. The safehouse pic was suspicious and I did not know what to think of it...but YOU and a few others did. Kudos.

Aww, thanks. My nature is not to give up when something bugs me. LOL.

Swissmiss wrote:

BachfanNY wrote:Just looking at Des post show - she looks like she's on cloud 9 (cringe)   
 
Anyway, I never heard her say she was completely over Brooks, and I don't think she was until after Monday night. She seems SO MUCH happier in her post show interviews than before, and particularly at the ATFR when rehashing the past with Brooks.  I think she needed that moment of closure with him. Girlfriend has moved on, I'm so happy for her!

Did you notice her body language when Brooks came out? She was leaning much more toward CH and not even remotely close to Brooks. Her legs crossed and pointing away too. I don't think she has feelings for him or at minimum positive ones. He strung her along. He knew that his feelings were behind yet took her home. More for his benefit than hers. Should it not have been the other way around?

Not sure what point your trying to make but I did notice her body language and it was more discomfort than anything else. I also think she wanted to make it very clear that she's moved on. I'm sure "feelings" (be it pain from the goodbye and her reaction, flashing images of what could have been, etc) stirred up at the sight of Brooks, I mean, they hadn't spoken since he left Antigua. I don't believe for one second she didn't feel a thing. Impossible.

That being said, I do think they had a great conversation on the couch that brought closure to both. As awkward as it was, Des looks so much happier after it. I don't think she'll ever forget Brooks. But Chris is the love of her life, no doubt.

iamreal2u wrote:Don't you need to understand your past to move forward with the future.  There is nothing wrong with learning from mistakes it all part of acceptance.  Plus, burying their heads in the sand, does not make it go away.  I guess I am a better now than later kinda person.

I really don't think that has happened here. I am sure in the last 3 months, Des and Chris have had a chance to discuss this all. This is the thing, it has just happened to us, to them it is long over with and they have moved on.