Re: Sean & Catherine - The Bachelor 17 - Thread #1

by Relalou Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:19 am

[quote="glazedover"]

Relalou wrote:I take the line that respect is treating and talking about others only in ways that one would wish to be treated and talked about oneself.

Towards other member of this forum, the bolded above is meant to be observed at all times, in all threads. I will assume that is what you meant, but it is not clear to me. Here in this part of the forum, respect for the public figures of Cat and Sean is a matter of personal choice. This forum exists so that as long as we respect each other as members, we can voice whatever opinions we have of these reality TV "stars" and their escapades.

I want to thank Love_Me and San for holding fast to the notion that this is not a Fansite.

I get all of the above. I don't believe that you need to be a fan, or even to be supporting someone's actions/choices/opinions (reality star or not) in order to show respect in the way you choose to differ from them. Critical thinking and freedom of speech are part of the joy of this site (and our country) but - again IMO - are most effective when expressed in a respectful manner.

by LoveDovez Fri Apr 19, 2013 3:49 am

[quote="Relalou"]

glazedover wrote:
Relalou wrote:I take the line that respect is treating and talking about others only in ways that one would wish to be treated and talked about oneself.

Towards other member of this forum, the bolded above is meant to be observed at all times, in all threads. I will assume that is what you meant, but it is not clear to me. Here in this part of the forum, respect for the public figures of Cat and Sean is a matter of personal choice. This forum exists so that as long as we respect each other as members, we can voice whatever opinions we have of these reality TV "stars" and their escapades.

I want to thank Love_Me and San for holding fast to the notion that this is not a Fansite.

I get all of the above. I don't believe that you need to be a fan, or even to be supporting someone's actions/choices/opinions (reality star or not) in order to show respect in the way you choose to differ from them. Critical thinking and freedom of speech are part of the joy of this site (and our country) but - again IMO - are most effective when expressed in a respectful manner.

IMHO I have totally loved this site and enjoyed my time here up until I felt like I lost my right to freedom of speech in the last couple of months and I saw over and over that some people could say what they wanted to, but then some people couldn't and I felt like I was part of the latter. I also saw that anytime the convo was headed anywhere except glowingly about Sean and Cat certain people were called out over it or their post were deleted all together. However, it's all good. I still read here, but this is my first post in a while now in a Sean and Cat thread and will probably be my last about them. I care enough about Love_Me, San and this site to give my honest opinion about this since it had already been brought up. I had already made my mind up that I would not be the one to bring it up first. NotGuilty's post to me was about as close to home with the way I'd been feeling as I had ever seen on here. I even asked myself just when it was IMHO that this site went from being a forum to a fansite. It seemed almost over night and please nobody has to post back to this and I'd really rather you didn't. I don't mean to cause any woes, but I also felt there were more like me that were feeling this way and I would totally hate for the site to lose members. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and I'll let you get back to whatever else you were talking about. : ).

by IrishGal Fri Apr 19, 2013 5:30 am

Sorry, Lovedovez, I want to reply to you. I lost my freedom to speak a year ago when it was announced that Jef was F1. I didn't like him and thought it was a bad match. Wow, did I get shot down. Over night he was God's gift to Emily and the world. I did my very best to not post about him. I was driven into the Arie thread but even there I couldn't post without getting attacked by Jef fans.

by tigertiz Fri Apr 19, 2013 5:38 am

Critical thinking and freedom of speech are part of the joy of this site (and our country) but - again IMO - are most effective when expressed in a respectful manner.

Ok- here's an honest question. HOw does one post freely that one thinks Courtney Robertson behaved like a brat, without being "disrespectful"? Plug in any horrible interaction , from a contestant who was just awful. I dont think it's possible to always be respectful when you are discussing negative behaviors. I dont think it's even desirable to do that.

by ceebeedeedum Fri Apr 19, 2013 6:33 am

A couple days ago, there were a discussion here between myself, and other posters that have been since deleted by admin. While very different and opposing opinions were exchanged, IMO, everyone kept their cool and no one was mocked for having opposite POVs. Apparently it was the subject matter/topic about the reality star that was deemed disrespectful, not how we conducted ourselves.

We do a lot of speculation here, people ask questions all the time but some topics seem to be too controversial to speculate about on this site. Censoring that particlar subject in this day and age is very bizarre to say the least. I find it very frustrating not to be able to have an open and honest dialogue at all.

by IrishGal Fri Apr 19, 2013 7:50 am

ceebeedeedum wrote:A couple days ago, there were a discussion here between myself, and other posters that have been since deleted by admin. While very different and opposing opinions were exchanged, IMO, everyone kept their cool and no one was mocked for having opposite POVs. Apparently it was the subject matter/topic about the reality star that was deemed disrespectful, not how we conducted ourselves.

We do a lot of speculation here, people ask questions all the time but some topics seem to be too controversial to speculate about on this site. Censoring that particlar subject in this day and age is very bizarre to say the least. I find it very frustrating not to be able to have an open and honest dialogue at all.

Me too.

by Millsugar Fri Apr 19, 2013 8:45 am

One of the reasons I love this site is because the majority seem to actually like the bachelor/bachelorette show and particularly Sean & Catherine. While i'm not saying people shouldn't have their own opinion,I am saying it is really nice to have a site where your not attacked for showing that like as opposed to other sites which I no longer bother about because they have become that negative. As far as I'm concerned the admin have the right to keep this site how they wish.

by Karen5354 Fri Apr 19, 2013 9:07 am

^^^ agree.

I'm pretty new to this site, only joined because of Sean/Cat. But, as much as I like them and hope they'll work out, I have my share of doubts too (esp. hydroxycut). That's why I love this thread, where I can enjoy reading different people's honest POVs. Please keep it up.

by Kashathediva Fri Apr 19, 2013 9:43 am

I think there are quite a few who are very, very careful of what and how they post.
Speaking for myself, most of the time I post what I truly want to say or feel elsewhere so I do not have to second guess myself.
Forget anything snarky. Those days are pretty much over for me here. :halo:

Personally, this couple is no different than the majority of couples born of this franchise. Time will tell.

by ImeldaMarcos Fri Apr 19, 2013 11:59 am

Well last season devolved into a travesty of nasty and I determined I would not post too emotionally when I finally registered. I do not think I have always been able to stick to that but I do not think I have been disrespectful to other posters. Frankly, I hope that Cat and Sean make it but I am not as invested as I have been in the past. My opinion is just that, mine...and prob matters not a whit to another's life. Hopefully, we will all carry on to other seasons and maybe have a little fun.

by Peppermom Fri Apr 19, 2013 11:59 am

Kashathediva wrote:I think there are quite a few who are very, very careful of what and how they post.
Speaking for myself, most of the time I post what I truly want to say or feel elsewhere so I do not have to second guess myself.
Forget anything snarky. Those days are pretty much over for me here. :halo:

Personally, this couple is no different than the majority of couples born of this franchise. Time will tell.

I agree with this completely Kash. It is sad to feel so censored at a site that was originally developed to combat that very thing. I agree with you too IrishGal, (can't multi-quote) that it has been about a year since it became so difficult to have an oposing opinion and post freely about it. Emily's season pretty much did that in. I hope we can get back to where members feel comfortable posting knowing that even if most disagree with what the poster says, they won't be attacked. Where Kash's snark is once again posted for those of us who absolutely love it!

by **Sprite** Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:29 pm

Clearly the site is expanding with more members joining and there are always issues when there is a growth spurt. I think last year was much more difficult with the Jemily fans and foes. Since the fan threads were created I feel things have been pretty smooth overall. Like with any big family, there will always be occasional disagreements, but, for the most part, I think people have done a good job sharing their thoughts and respecting those who disagree during Sean's season.

It is unfortunate that some still feel that they can't express themselves freely and I personally don't know what to do to rectify that. It is always more difficult trying to express sarcasm and disagree in a forum where things have to be written rather than verbally, in a face to face situation. There is no body language or tone of voice to get cues from and since multiple people read what we have written sometimes things seem to end up as part of the telephone game where things get distorted very quickly. This is particularly true when we get to the end of the season. By that time, people have invested a lot in the people involved and thus, feel more of a need to defend them. Because this season with Sean and Catherine went right from the Bachelor into DWTS, we have had ... it seems to me ... way more information, photos, videos, interviews, etc. and it has seemed even longer than usual. As a result, many may feel even more invested. Nevertheless, overall, I think this site and the mods have done a very good job of balancing the needs of everyone.

Personally, I always enjoy the start of each season much more as everyone seems to be working together to piece together clues to outsmart MF and RS, rather than the end where it just seems as if people are defending their turf and waiting for the next season to start. Kind of like like houseguests who were all excited to see one another at the start of a vacation, but, due to bad weather have been stuck together for far too long and are running out of food and liquor!

by Sponsored content