Kiptyn Locke & Tenley Molzahn - Discussion

chi-girl wrote:A good friend of mine married someone she dated for 10 years.

When she announced her engagement, one of her friends said to her, "Well its about time he asked you to marry him."  To which she replied, "How do you know he hasn't asked me before and I said no?"

So many people assume that when a couple doesn't get married, that the guy's not ready or the guy hasn't asked.  But that's not always the case.

Ok, but I've got a question. How often did they break up before they were engaged and did he also, like Kiptyn, pretend your good friend wasn't his girlfriend?

Your story could be straight out of the book, "He's Just Not That Into You".

Why is it we women cling to and repeat this type of story, as if a common occurrence, when it's not only unlikely, but near impossible that a couple will marry after 10 years of dating?

I'm mean, I'm sitting here thinking, do I know a couple that's done this? I'm over fifty. I've know lots of couples, but can't think of one that married after dating for only five years other than those that began dating early in high school, and after all said and done, those couples are not longer married --- they divorced.

IMO, there's nothing wrong with Tenley for she has nothing to do with why I believe they'll never marry. She's pulled that trigger; she's been married. Remember, it's Kiptyn that's never been dumped.

Amberish wrote:

chi-girl wrote:A good friend of mine married someone she dated for 10 years.

When she announced her engagement, one of her friends said to her, "Well its about time he asked you to marry him."  To which she replied, "How do you know he hasn't asked me before and I said no?"

So many people assume that when a couple doesn't get married, that the guy's not ready or the guy hasn't asked.  But that's not always the case.

Ok, but I've got a question. How often did they break up before they were engaged and did he also, like Kiptyn, pretend your good friend wasn't his girlfriend?

Your story could be straight out of the book, "He's Just Not That Into You".

Why is it we women cling to and repeat this type of story, as if a common occurrence, when it's not only unlikely, but near impossible that a couple will marry after 10 years of dating?

I'm mean, I'm sitting here thinking, do I know a couple that's done this? I'm over fifty. I've know lots of couples, but can't think of one that married after dating for only five years other than those that began dating early in high school, and after all said and done, those couples are not longer married --- they divorced.

IMO, there's nothing wrong with Tenley for she has nothing to do with why I believe they'll never marry. She's pulled that trigger; she's been married. Remember, it's Kiptyn that's never been dumped.

As far as I know, they didn't break up.  Both have good careers and marriage just wasn't a priority at the time.  They got married because it was practical to do so (life insurance and health benefits etc.)  At the time they had already lived together for a long time.  I think she wouldn't have gotten married, if not for this.

I'm not sure why the assumption is that marriage is priority for every woman?  I'm not sure why women think its okay to say to each other "he's just not that into you" yet we don't tell men that their girlfriend "might just not be into him."  

In my opinion, the "when are you going to get married question" is only trumped by, "when are you going to have a baby" question.  I don't think its okay to ask either of a couple without fully knowing all the circumstances.

I don't know Tenley or Kiptyn, so I can't speak to what their priorities are.

Amberish wrote:

chi-girl wrote:A good friend of mine married someone she dated for 10 years.

When she announced her engagement, one of her friends said to her, "Well its about time he asked you to marry him."  To which she replied, "How do you know he hasn't asked me before and I said no?"

So many people assume that when a couple doesn't get married, that the guy's not ready or the guy hasn't asked.  But that's not always the case.

Ok, but I've got a question. How often did they break up before they were engaged and did he also, like Kiptyn, pretend your good friend wasn't his girlfriend?

Your story could be straight out of the book, "He's Just Not That Into You".

Why is it we women cling to and repeat this type of story, as if a common occurrence, when it's not only unlikely, but near impossible that a couple will marry after 10 years of dating?

I'm mean, I'm sitting here thinking, do I know a couple that's done this? I'm over fifty. I've know lots of couples, but can't think of one that married after dating for only five years other than those that began dating early in high school, and after all said and done, those couples are not longer married --- they divorced.

IMO, there's nothing wrong with Tenley for she has nothing to do with why I believe they'll never marry. She's pulled that trigger; she's been married. Remember, it's Kiptyn that's never been dumped.

Amberish, my husband and I dated for six years before I agreed to marry him. I was very careful when deciding to marry again, as I never wanted to have one divorce and I certainly don't want two. Is it unusual? Maybe, but then again I am a graduate student working toward a PhD and my husband has a PhD, in our professional world we don't see a huge rush to marry among people. Most couples we know wait until after the person gets their PhD (which in our field is a 5-7 year process). BTW. we took two years to start dating before this six years, but I had also moved away and dated other people. My husband also didn't want to be called boyfriend and girlfriend, he said it made us sound like we are in high school. One of my good friends took to calling him my sin partner, since we lived together without marrying.

I know that I grew up a lot after my divorce, I had been so young and stupid and desperate to not be alone, that I settled for less than I deserve. I really got to know myself so I wouldn't make a stupid choice again.

I don't know Tenley or Kiptyn, maybe he won't marry her, or maybe she is the one who is hesitant since her divorce and their first break up? We won't ever know. What I don't understand is if she is happy, why isn't that enough?

chi-girl wrote:

Amberish wrote:

chi-girl wrote:A good friend of mine married someone she dated for 10 years.

When she announced her engagement, one of her friends said to her, "Well its about time he asked you to marry him."  To which she replied, "How do you know he hasn't asked me before and I said no?"

So many people assume that when a couple doesn't get married, that the guy's not ready or the guy hasn't asked.  But that's not always the case.

Ok, but I've got a question. How often did they break up before they were engaged and did he also, like Kiptyn, pretend your good friend wasn't his girlfriend?

Your story could be straight out of the book, "He's Just Not That Into You".

Why is it we women cling to and repeat this type of story, as if a common occurrence, when it's not only unlikely, but near impossible that a couple will marry after 10 years of dating?

I'm mean, I'm sitting here thinking, do I know a couple that's done this? I'm over fifty. I've know lots of couples, but can't think of one that married after dating for only five years other than those that began dating early in high school, and after all said and done, those couples are not longer married --- they divorced.

IMO, there's nothing wrong with Tenley for she has nothing to do with why I believe they'll never marry. She's pulled that trigger; she's been married. Remember, it's Kiptyn that's never been dumped.

As far as I know, they didn't break up.  Both have good careers and marriage just wasn't a priority at the time.  They got married because it was practical to do so (life insurance and health benefits etc.)  At the time they had already lived together for a long time.  I think she wouldn't have gotten married, if not for this.

I'm not sure why the assumption is that marriage is priority for every woman?  I'm not sure why women think its okay to say to each other "he's just not that into you" yet we don't tell men that their girlfriend "might just not be into him."  

In my opinion, the "when are you going to get married question" is only trumped by, "when are you going to have a baby" question.  I don't think its okay to ask either of a couple without fully knowing all the circumstances.

I don't know Tenley or Kiptyn, so I can't speak to what their priorities are.

I love your posts. Once we got married, the when are you having a baby questions started. I joked that I should wear a sign around my neck that I was in my 40s now and not going to have babies, thank you for asking. Still when I say this, people tell me that it is okay, I can still have a child at my age. It is true, I could, I just don't want to, why is that anyone's business but me and my husband?

stuckinsc wrote:

chi-girl wrote:

Amberish wrote:

chi-girl wrote:A good friend of mine married someone she dated for 10 years.

When she announced her engagement, one of her friends said to her, "Well its about time he asked you to marry him."  To which she replied, "How do you know he hasn't asked me before and I said no?"

So many people assume that when a couple doesn't get married, that the guy's not ready or the guy hasn't asked.  But that's not always the case.

Ok, but I've got a question. How often did they break up before they were engaged and did he also, like Kiptyn, pretend your good friend wasn't his girlfriend?

Your story could be straight out of the book, "He's Just Not That Into You".

Why is it we women cling to and repeat this type of story, as if a common occurrence, when it's not only unlikely, but near impossible that a couple will marry after 10 years of dating?

I'm mean, I'm sitting here thinking, do I know a couple that's done this? I'm over fifty. I've know lots of couples, but can't think of one that married after dating for only five years other than those that began dating early in high school, and after all said and done, those couples are not longer married --- they divorced.

IMO, there's nothing wrong with Tenley for she has nothing to do with why I believe they'll never marry. She's pulled that trigger; she's been married. Remember, it's Kiptyn that's never been dumped.

As far as I know, they didn't break up.  Both have good careers and marriage just wasn't a priority at the time.  They got married because it was practical to do so (life insurance and health benefits etc.)  At the time they had already lived together for a long time.  I think she wouldn't have gotten married, if not for this.

I'm not sure why the assumption is that marriage is priority for every woman?  I'm not sure why women think its okay to say to each other "he's just not that into you" yet we don't tell men that their girlfriend "might just not be into him."  

In my opinion, the "when are you going to get married question" is only trumped by, "when are you going to have a baby" question.  I don't think its okay to ask either of a couple without fully knowing all the circumstances.

I don't know Tenley or Kiptyn, so I can't speak to what their priorities are.

I love your posts.  Once we got married, the when are you having a baby questions started.  I joked that I should wear a sign around my neck that I was in my 40s now and not going to have babies, thank you for asking.  Still when I say this, people tell me that it is okay, I can still have a child at my age.  It is true, I could, I just don't want to, why is that anyone's business but me and my husband?

  stuckinsc & chi-girl I agree with you both fully.
I have a friend who has never married her partner & yet have been together for well over 30 years now & all is well in paradise with them. I also know couples who have broken up & got back together again some of them more than once & yet are now happily married. So I think everyone to themselves & Kipten Team seem very happy together at the present time so that's great & am very happy for them.

I'm not sure why the assumption is that marriage is priority for every woman?

I dont make that assumption - at all.  But as to Tenley's wishes and priorities - it's simply not an assumption.  

I think it's unlikely that she'd say no to a proposal. Years ago she was asked what it would take for her to move in with him and she pointed to her ring finger.

And... it's official! Tenley Molzahn herself has now confirmed to People that she is back together with Kiptyn Locke. "It's a new, healthy place for us where we don't have to live up to the pressures that we were feeling," she said, noting that it's been a few months since they rekindled the romance. "I'm happy, and I think we both know where we want it to head. The purpose and the goal is marriage and family." That's right — she said marriage!

http://www.wetpaint.com/the-bachelor-pad/articles/2013-12-23-tenley-molzahn-kiptyn-locke-together

True, some people are perfectly happy with being in a committed long term relationship and not seeking marriage. However, both Kiptyn and Tenley have gone on a national TV reality dating show stating they were looking for marriage.

Mustang19 wrote:True, some people are perfectly happy with being in a committed long term relationship and not seeking marriage. However, both Kiptyn and Tenley have gone on a national TV reality dating  show stating they were looking for marriage.

Apparently, they're not looking too hard. LOL.

Celebrating Tenley's birthday

Helping Ms @tenleymolzahn ring in the 30th bday weekend. Curbside table in San Francisco. by @kiptyn


This was just the beginning of an incredible evening!! Stop # 1 of our fav type of city exploration... A progressive dinner. Just so happened that eating in the car was an option! If you only knew how perfect tonight was! Thank you @kiptyn for the best adventures! #sweetandfreelife #sweetandfreetravel #sanfrancisco #tensflirty30 by @tenleymolzahn

That is so adorable! What a great idea for a special birthday. I wonder what Kiptyn had planned for the rest of the evening! They look very happy.

GuardianAngel wrote:That is so adorable! What a great idea for a special birthday. I wonder what Kiptyn had planned for the rest of the evening! They look very happy.

Agreed, I am sure she loved it!

umngirl wrote:Celebrating Tenley's birthday

Helping Ms @tenleymolzahn ring in the 30th bday weekend. Curbside table in San Francisco. by @kiptyn


This was just the beginning of an incredible evening!! Stop # 1 of our fav type of city exploration... A progressive dinner. Just so happened that eating in the car was an option! If you only knew how perfect tonight was! Thank you @kiptyn for the best adventures! #sweetandfreelife #sweetandfreetravel #sanfrancisco #tensflirty30 by @tenleymolzahn

She must not be a very big eater his plate is empty and hers still has lots of food on it.