Bachelorette 17 - Katie Thurston - Aug 2 (HTD) - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

Billysmom wrote:On other sites some  viewers have said if Greg bailed after this disagreement/miscommunication, he would not be able to handle future conflict. But I think the point he was making was a foundational one, a sine qua non for his ability to continue at all - ie if he didn't believe Katie really meant what he thought when they were talking about moving to NYC then their relationship no longer felt real to him. Where does one go from there, without that basic trust? I am probably one who in his shoes would have her blank looks reappearing in my head mercilessly....
But for all I know maybe he is this phenom actor - and his family as well?

I asked myself if he could possibly be acting. Honestly, I'd be surprised if he's that good of an actor.

My opinion is that Greg has no idea of how to read people. I don't know what more Katie could have done to signal her interest in him. It wasn't just hometowns, it was right from the start. Production must have been working overtime to keep it somewhat hidden. He got the first impression rose, and he was the only one to get two one-on-ones. It sounds like he and Katie had some deep conversations, and that he got a lot of validation from her. Why that wasn't enough for him amazes me. He did tell her about halfway through the show that he couldn't read her. Anyone with eyes could tell she was very interested in him. Especially during hometowns, and the day after, I just don't know what more she could have done. She told him in a dozen or more different ways that he was her choice. His sudden 180 turn along with his cold tone and demeanor was more than puzzling, it was concerning.

I have ascribed his behavior to not having fully processed the death of his father. But now I'm wondering if seeing her having a good time with Blake was a big chunk of it, too. I remember how jealous Shawn Booth got of Nick Viall during Kaitlyn's season, even though towards the end he was clearly Kaitlyn's choice. Shawn managed to hold it together just enough to get to the proposal, but perhaps that was more than Greg could do.

Knowing more about Blake's mum and what she's about, I'd really like to know what she thinks about Greg Inquiring minds want to know

Ratings:

Elsewhere, ABC had a typical Monday night fast affiliate performance care of “The Bachelorette” (Viewers: #2, 3.47 million; A18-49: 0.9/ 6 from 8-10 p.m.) and “The Celebrity Dating Game” (Viewers: #2, 2.89 million; A18-49: #2, 0.7/ 5 at 10 p.m.). The CW featured dramas “Roswell, New Mexico” (Viewers: 638,000; A18-49: 0.1/ 1) and “The Republic of Sarah” (Viewers: 349,000; A18-49: 0.0/ 0) from 8-10 p.m., which both of course finished last in their time periods. And CBS and Fox were in all repeats.

https://programminginsider.com/monday-ratings-the-2020-tokyo-summer-olympics-continues-to-underwhelm/

https://youtu.be/ib4-oNnONHk

https://www.instagram.com/stories/johnalexhersey/2632478017382030765/

I am a bit surprised to see this from John, but know he is a good friend to Katie and she needs that now. This to me is all such a train wreck and I see no "winners", just a lot of hurt, angry, fragile folks.

Well said John.

Hopefully a lot of people learned a lot of lessons.

There's no reason to treat people in such a demeaning manner.

jojo47 wrote:

Billysmom wrote:Not buying it.

To my eyes they just don't speak the same language. He was saying how her nonreaction had made him feel, and that it caused him to mistrust everything. Even as an observer I can see how that might be his reality. He wasn't doing something wrong and then telling her it was her fault.

I don't thi k she really understood what he was saying....hence his seeming frustration and impatience. And it was past the point of retrieval, because anything she tried to say would seem like he dragged it out of her.

I kinda get the sense she has to be right all the time. Oddly enough when she is calling ppl out she can be very articulate. Last night not so much. And her face was a total blank. Even what she was saying to Kaitlyn in the bathroom was abt her process not about Greg. Des was more forthcoming abt Brooks.  Jmo

Re the bolded, I’ve wondered this about her myself. I’m curious if she’ll use ATFR to get the last word.

Well, she has already shaded him several times on SM so I suspect she is still holding a grudge.

I have to say that reading that post about gaslighting, I don't think that is what he was doing. It states that narcissists have no empathy for others and Greg has shown several times that he does. He teared up several times during the show. I particularly remember when Michael was talking about his wife. To me he seems very sensitive and this show was not a good place for him since manipulation is what they do. To me their stinky hands were all over this "fight".

IMO they are simply not compatible. They do not complement one another and their styles of communication differ. It was like they were talking at one another and neither was understanding the other. They are two vulnerable people who are immature in different ways. IMO both need someone who is strong and steady who will be there for them and be able to talk them down when they inevitably lose their sh*t for whatever reason. I can see both sides of the situation and I really don't blame either. IMO most of the responsibility rests with production.

@Sprite Couldn't agree more. Especially with the "stinky hands" part.

pavalygurl wrote:I am a bit surprised to see this from John, but know he is a good friend to Katie and she needs that now.  This to me is all such a train wreck and I see no "winners", just a lot of hurt, angry, fragile folks.  

Exactly! Now everyone got a diagnosis for him. All I saw was man expressing how he felt, whether he was right or wrong. This is something we all do at some point. If he had been throwing things, slamming doors, just tearing up the place or slapping Katie around then I would say yes he has a behavior problem. I didn't like what happened and I wish he would have stayed and worked it out because he truly broke my girl heart. She was the reason I watched this season. John need to go sit down and rest his nerves.

pbmax wrote:

pavalygurl wrote:I am a bit surprised to see this from John, but know he is a good friend to Katie and she needs that now.  This to me is all such a train wreck and I see no "winners", just a lot of hurt, angry, fragile folks.  

Exactly! Now everyone got a diagnosis for him. All I saw was man expressing how he felt, whether he was right or wrong. This is something we all do at some point. If he had been throwing things, slamming doors, just tearing up the place or slapping Katie around then I would say yes he has a behavior problem. I didn't like what happened and I wish he would have stayed and worked it out because he truly broke my girl heart. She was the reason I watched this season. John need to go sit down and rest his nerves.

We all see things differently, gaslighting behavior during an argument is "abuse" according to mental health experts (verbal/mental abuse). Communication is key. He couldn't see her side of the argument, it was all about him by the edit TPTB gave us. Blame TPTB if this is not how is he, but don't enable this type of behavior from ANYONE! We all deserve better.

I haven't watched even a minute of the show this season. I wasn't interested in Katie. But I saw all these articles about gaslighting and this dramatic fight, so I went over to Hulu and watched the ILY and the break-up conversation to see what it was all about. As an uninitiated viewer of this season...

1. It wasn't that dramatic.
2. Katie looked like a hostage dealing with a triggered person that was trying to not set things off. I also thought she basically told him he was F1 without saying the exact words, but he didn't want to take yes for an answer.
3. Greg seemed like he was acting (not very well) and like he wanted to pick a fight and have a dramatic moment. During the break up he didn't seem to have much passion or really care about what he was saying and was just working through a script or a process.

JMO. But I don't get it.