Bachelor In Paradise Australia - Season 2 - Episodes - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

Some won’t find their happily ever after in Paradise
Find out who says what tonight at 8.40 #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/6givdhgeqa

— Bachelor In Paradise Australia (@BachParadiseAU) May 2, 2019

Source

"I'm ready to commit to you" = Davey
"I feel like a dick" = Florence?
"This is not our fairytale" = Alisha?
"I love you so so much" After what, 3 weeks?  Something that ridiculous can surely only come out of one mouth = Alex

“I feel like a dick” could be Jules, it sounds like something he would say? 100% on poor Alex the victim though, she’s come out of this all right though, she’s jumped through all of TPTB’s hoops, and she’s been rewarded with a VERY favourable edit.

Dirty Street Pie wrote:“I feel like a dick” could be Jules, it sounds like something he would say? 100% on poor Alex the victim though, she’s come out of this all right though, she’s jumped through all of TPTB’s hoops, and she’s been rewarded with a VERY favourable edit.

Yeah that fits too, but if it was Jules he probably would have said he felt like a "dick of ambiguity" so...  

ETA:  It's on now and I'm half-watching while doing the washing up.  You're right; Jules is the dick.  

@Bobette dick of ambiguity 


If I was joining the forum again, Dick of Ambiguity would be an awesome username.


Just watched Bill and Alex’s commitment ceremony, major vomit    Alex staring up at Bill with puppy dog eyes  (dog park eyes   ) saying that she loves him, just the same as she did with Richie.
Soooo fake, the early sleuthing for Richie’s season rubbed me the wrong way about her, and that hasn’t changed a bit, in fact it’s gotten worse. I really hope this is the last time we see her on our screens

Yep @Dirty Street Pie Alexnation was nauseating.  Who says that kind of stuff after only 3 weeks?  

Flo & Davey superfake also IMO.  I stand by my theory they were flown in when TPTB realised they didn't have enough couples for the finale and were spoon-fed a script to follow in exchange for good edits for them both and a no-fault split.

Uggh now Rachel's talking.  Might be time for bed.  I'll need all my strength for the recap tomorrow.  

Strength and wine @Bobette
Nathan and Tenille ended badly after Nathan friendzoned her after they got home. They showed all the Ivan Behaving Badly footage, and he apologised profusely. Osher had his disappointed Dad face on when talking to him

LOL, Alex says she feels bad about talking about Bill when he’s not there to defend himself, didn’t stop her talking about Richie when he wasn’t there. F off Alex 

Dirty Street Pie wrote:@Bobette dick of ambiguity 


If I was joining the forum again, Dick of Ambiguity would be an awesome username.


Just watched Bill and Alex’s commitment ceremony, major vomit    Alex staring up at Bill with puppy dog eyes  (dog park eyes   ) saying that she loves him, just the same as she did with Richie.
Soooo fake, the early sleuthing for Richie’s season rubbed me the wrong way about her, and that hasn’t changed a bit, in fact it’s gotten worse. I really hope this is the last time we see her on our screens

Username

Dirty Street Pie wrote:@Bobette dick of ambiguity 


If I was joining the forum again, Dick of Ambiguity would be an awesome username.


Just watched Bill and Alex’s commitment ceremony, major vomit    Alex staring up at Bill with puppy dog eyes  (dog park eyes   ) saying that she loves him, just the same as she did with Richie.
Soooo fake, the early sleuthing for Richie’s season rubbed me the wrong way about her, and that hasn’t changed a bit, in fact it’s gotten worse. I really hope this is the last time we see her on our screens

@Dirty Street Pie I think you might be able to just change your user name and still retain everything. I would love "Dick of Ambiguity"

This thread is hilarious!!! Thanks for the continuous laughs everyone!

I can change usernames retaining the post count, and change it back again, if anyone want's it changed.

Dirty Street Pie wrote:@Bobette dick of ambiguity 
If I was joining the forum again, Dick of Ambiguity would be an awesome username.

It really does work on so many levels.

Alright, here we go, Episode 13.  An unlucky number for some but I'm sure our couples will all live happily ever after, right?

We open with Osher on stage in front of a live audience wearing the most pink delightful suit, and a shirt which appears to have been crafted from a tablecloth I donated to the Salvos about 4 years ago.  Very dapper.



Source: Tenplay

Back in Fiji, we rejoin Alisha and Jules on the Daybed of Judgement.  Things are not going well.  

THIS IS TORTURE... #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/LFG9RSNWhv

— Bachelor In Paradise Australia (@BachParadiseAU) May 2, 2019

Source

Alisha certainly has a way with words.  Having worked as a media advisor for a politician, I would have expected her to be the least genuine person in Paradise, and yet, she was IMO the ONLY person there with real feels.  

She has carried the whole season, and I shudder to think what they would have done without her.  If I could be bothered, I'd calculate how much of the narration/ITMs came out of her mouth.  She's the Season 2 MVP for sure.

Alisha tells Jules she's done and walks off to give her post-dump debrief to camera.  Just as she's saying she should have hit up Canadian Daniel and asking when the next flight to Vancouver leaves, up rocks Jules.  

He's confused and wants to clarify whether Alisha will continue to see him when they leave.  "HELL NO!"  she replies and I don't believe her for one second because I've been that girl and sayin' it is a lot easier than doin' it.



Source: Tenplay

A sad end to Alisha & Jules #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/7YPNAbqc6F

— Bachelor In Paradise Australia (@BachParadiseAU) May 2, 2019

Source

Jules wanders off, despondent.  "Can I de-mic, please?" he whimpers, and we know their Paradise journey has come to an end.

Next up it's the Davey and Flo Show.

Welcome aboard roller coaster #Flavey #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/FcvdW5HwyA

— Bachelor In Paradise Australia (@BachParadiseAU) May 2, 2019

Source

Flo informs us that after their chat last night, Davey goofed around and went to sleep on his own rather than snuggle with her. (Gotta to reassure Davey's real girlfriend that they didn't hook up, right guys? )

"We didn't utilise the time", Davey says, and "utilise the time" immediately becomes new favourite euphemism.  It's sure been a while since I utilised my time.  I hope I'm able to utilise my time really efficiently this weekend.

They read through their script.  Flo feels like he only sees her as a friend, Davey tries to convince her otherwise.  Flo says she's confused, Davey says he'd be devastated if she dumped him at the commitment ceremony.  The scene is set.

Next we join Bill on a balcony, bare chested, staring pensively out to sea, weighed down by thoughts of the impending commitment ceremony and the size of his enormous areola [...too much? ]



Source: Tenplay

Alex is pondering what life with Bill will look like.  Apparently it looks perfect, which is certainly a BOLD statement when you've known him for 3 weeks and have no idea where he lives, what he does, who he hangs out with etc.  

Alex arrives on a helicopter, bitching a bit more about Richie over the sound of whirring blades.  A helicopter seems OTT considering the resort is like 5 mins down the road but I presume she demanded a "helicopter clause" in her contract.

She's in love with him.  She wants him to commit.  Blah blah blah.  Ugh.  Bill stumbles over his words.  It's SUPER awkward.  I'm no fan of Bill's but the editors could easily have cut this out.  They're deliberately making him look like an idiot.

These are some serious looks #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/O2UYGIW2U7

— Bachelor In Paradise Australia (@BachParadiseAU) May 2, 2019

Source  

Dramatic music plays as if Bill's trying to defuse a bomb before it explodes.  He eventually spits out those three magic words: "I love you".  Satisfied, Alex pops a commitment ring out from where the sun don't shine and seals the deal.

Smooth move Alex #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/VS5FlDKBFA

— Bachelor In Paradise Australia (@BachParadiseAU) May 2, 2019

Source