Shawn Booth - Bachelorette 11 - Discussion

sosleepy wrote:I still think he’s controlling, and these “I’m so hurt” podcasts just reinfoce the controlling narrative/association I had with him.

Don’t really care what he said in that pod about down playing it, and no I haven’t listened ... but if you liked it, then you should have put a (wedding) ring on it. It was totally obvi that’s what Kaitlyn wanted. Unless she was like split personality and telling her audience in interviews and podcasts, and tweets and social media something COMPLETELY different than she was telling her “fiancé.”

See, this is what I’m talking about when I say mixed emotions. I think it’s impossible to listen to the podcast & not feel a little bad just because his emotions are so real. Then when I listen to the substance of what he’s saying, not just the emotion, there are some things that are so problematic. In addition to the flat out lying about Charly, he dismissed the marriage thing as an issue created by fans and the media but never existed, never came up. Really? I remember Kaitlyn telling a story a while back when they were still together that she had asked him when he was marrying her, and his response was something along the lines of he would do it if something went wrong with her visa. Unless that story was a fabrication from Kaitlyn, seems like it definitely came up. He also said he was expecting them to be a team in the breakup and work through their emotions together. Someone tell him that’s not how breakups work...

He’s just upset that instead of laying around crying for him, pining away, waiting for his self-analysis to be finished and for him to decide whether or not he wanted her, she got up, dusted herself off and moved on imo. And not just moved on, but moved on to a real catch. I’m loving this It’s alllllll ego imo.

And he never knew she wanted to get married? Haha okay.

I will be up front - I was not much of a Shawn fan during the show. And wasn't a huge K/S fan during the immediate post show media because I didn't love how they bashed Nick. BUT... over time I did like them as a couple and did loosely follow them.

I have been listening to Kaitlyn's podcasts and have thought that how she has spoken of Shawn was very mature, never putting him down, trying to defend him where he was being criticized. I do think she mourned the breakup earlier than he did - because when she did speak about the breakup she seemed to have perspective on it. He appears to still be mourning it.

I do think Shawn sounds very sad during this podcast and still trying to deal with everything that is going on. But at the same time I really didn't like a lot of what he said, that others have alluded to, particularly:

- the rumours on Charly and not liking how Kaitlyn brought it up. To be fair to Kaitlyn she brought it up yes but didn't pretend to have any knowledge of it. She said she didn't know anything, didn't want to know anything but that if he had moved on and was happy he is a single man and is free to do that. If anything she was defending him. I think if anything her comments were more helpful in diffusing his situation that anything.
- And Shawn.... come on, you were seen with a girl on multiple occasions (onlookers saying you look cozy), she even posted from your apartment at 3am..... the rumours didn't come from "no where". It was out there so Kaitlyn commented because she was probably being asked through the ying yang. And when she did address it she basically defended you but prefaced that she didn't know if anything was going on or not. To me Kaitlyn taking the time to address it the way she did was the only mature way to do it. And when she did she didn't give any details about it at all just that she hoped he was happy.
- On the other hand - Shawn is freely giving information about Jason/Kaitlyn that they themselves are not sharing. It only confirms to me that Jason/Kaitlyn do actually like each other and have been talking for at least 2-3 months at this point.

I dunno - yes he sounds like he is hurting but some of the things he said just confirmed for me that the breakup was the best thing to happen. Kaitlyn looks legitimately happy - more happy then I have seen her in a LOOOOONGGGG time. I remember when the video came out of her and Blake dancing at her podcast (when he flipped her), and she was gleefully stopping her feet/clapping/smiling. It was the first time she looked legitimately happy in I don't know how long, that was the Kaitlyn I remember on the bachelor/bachelorette. I don't think it had anything to do with Blake, because obviously they are just buds, but looking back it was the timing. That podcast was filmed early October. I think at that point she had already largely internalized/made peace with the breakup (as Ashlee alluded I think a lot of that happened in the summer) and was starting to be ready to move on. She then had the podcast with Jason a couple weeks later. Just confirmed to me that she was already moving on before she met Jason, and when she did meet Jason she likely already had a sense of peace of her past with Shawn. All IMO.

IMO If Shawn is miserable, that’s great.
He made the rules for three years and she followed them. She was always clear about what she wanted but, he was too obtuse, selfish and self-involved to marry her, IMO. He basically used her platform for his personal and professional advancement. Now, he owns a gym (not the best formula for success in a world FULL of “fitness experts” as is proven by the number of them on every BN season and every corner). His BN fame is in the rear view mirror. He’s not handsome IMO so, while Kaitlyn thought he was wonderful, his appeal was not universally translated like Dean or Ben. He’s a very ordinary guy with a very ordinary business and I hope he understands soon that he was a star because of her and IMO he did not deserve to be carried on her coattails on his own self-serving terms, forever. Welcome to the real world, Mr. Booth. You lost your ticket to the glitz and glam and a better man found it so, deal with it. LOL. All IMO.

I am not a Kaitlyn or Shawn fan but I would never wish for someone to be miserable. K stayed with a man for 3 years and had to know what his true feelings were. She still must care about him since he made his interview both J and K have been quiet about their relationship. She has enough respect for him to do this. I truly believe that they both loved each other deeply but with Shawn I think he has some sort of commitment issues that he himself can’t get over. As far as using her to better his platform I just do not see it. Sorry! I also do not agree that he wanted K to know anything about his one time date if that is what you call it. He did not post it was the girl at the time and it seems like just a one time thing.
I never wish anyone to be miserable or hated we all make mistakes that hopefully we learn from.
I wish K and S the best in their future and truly hope they find the one for them. JMO and yes I know I am in the minorty!

whit90 wrote:I am not a Kaitlyn or Shawn fan but I would never wish for someone to be miserable. K stayed with a man for 3 years and had to know what his true feelings were. She still must care about him since he made his interview both J and K have been quiet about their relationship. She has enough respect for him to do this. I truly believe that they both loved each other deeply but with Shawn I think he has some sort of commitment issues that he himself can’t get over. As far as using her to better his platform I just do not see it. Sorry! I also do not agree that he wanted K to know anything about his one time date if that is what you call it. He did not post it was the girl at the time and it seems like just a one time thing.
I never wish anyone to be miserable or hated we all make mistakes that hopefully we learn from.
I wish K and S the best in their future and truly hope they find the one for them. JMO and yes I know I am in the minorty!

@whit90
IMO You just described the opposite point of view and each of us is entitled to take the position that makes the most sense to her. I don’t care why Shawn didn’t marry Kaitlyn. He went onto a show with a woman hoping to find a husband. He bullied and aggravated the heck out of every other man there vying for her and IMO he settled into her life and rode its benefits without ever fulfilling the promise engagement requires. Read: RENEGED on his commitment to her.

She’s rid of him now and moving on with her life. That is the best outcome, IMO. He’s not the first man to waste a woman’s time and attempt to place limitations on her life and dreams and he won’t be the last. There will always be women who understand them, commiserate with them, make excuses for them and waste valuable years compromising their happiness for them. I don’t respect those women. I think they get the “less than” they settle for and deserve. I don’t believe it’s asking too much to expect a man to commit after three years or get out of the way for her to have the opportunity to find a real man who shares her values and will give her what SHE wants, a husband and children. Not so far-fetched, actually pretty normal, IMO.

I’m not saying she has found that man and apparently she isn’t either. What’s most important now, IMO is getting over Shawn and moving on and I am proud and happy she appears to be doing that. I never said I hope Shawn is miserable or happy or sad or anything else. He is not the point anymore and as I said before, I think that’s great. If Kaitlyn no longer continuing to waste her life on his version of happiness which clearly is not the same as hers is making him miserable then so be it. All IMO

Chgohighlife wrote:IMO If Shawn is miserable, that’s great.  
He made the rules for three years and she followed them. She was always clear about what she wanted but, he was too obtuse, selfish and self-involved to marry her, IMO. He basically used her platform for his personal and professional advancement. Now, he owns a gym (not the best formula for success in a world FULL of “fitness experts” as is proven by the number of them on every BN season and every corner). His BN fame is in the rear view mirror. He’s not handsome IMO so, while Kaitlyn thought he was wonderful, his appeal was not universally translated like Dean or Ben. He’s a very ordinary guy with a very ordinary business and I hope he understands soon that he was a star because of her and IMO he did not deserve to be carried on her coattails on his own self-serving terms, forever. Welcome to the real world, Mr. Booth. You lost your ticket to the glitz and glam and a better man found it so, deal with it. LOL. All IMO.

LMAO. Sing it sister!!! Not to mention this yahoo expected her to waste even more time beyond the 3.5 years waiting for him to be ready (gawd knows when) and is so pissed and butt hurt that instead of waiting, she got up and found someone else. What a freaking joke!

The time to be worried about who Kaitlyn was seeing (no one but your dog)) and what she was doing (sobbing anxiety ridden breakdowns) were in mid-2018, Shawn. Who Kaitlyn is seeing now and what’s she’s doing have nothing to do with you anymore, buddy friend. Imo ofc.

I do think he’s finally realized what he lost after he lost it but that’s too bad, very sad. So happy she didn’t sit around the house waiting for nothing.

I do not expect her to sit around the house waiting on him quite the opposite. I just do not see Shawn as this awful man that everyone else sees. I am happy that she is finally happy but there are always two sides to the story . IMO At the beginning he put up with a lot of things she did that probably most men would of left . I think they both tried in different ways but were not meant to be in the long run. I also wish BOTH of them the best even though I am not a fan of either. Reading post after post of how horrible this man is I just don’t see it. This is my opinion and like I said before I truly hope they find their true love. JMO IMO !

whit90 wrote:I do not expect her to sit around the house waiting on him quite the opposite. I just do not see Shawn as this awful man that everyone else sees. I am happy that she is finally happy but there are always two sides to the story . IMO At the beginning he put up with a lot of things she did that probably most men would of left . I think they both tried in different ways but were not meant to be in the long run. I also wish BOTH of them the best even though I am not a fan of either. Reading post after post of how horrible this man is I just don’t see it. This is my opinion and like I said before I truly hope they find their true love. JMO IMO !

@whit90
You are absolutely right about there being two sides to every story and I believe dealing with Kaitlyn was/is a full time job but, that’s just it...she was his job. He quit his real job to go on the Bachelorette and after that he traveled and followed her around and lived with her and what else exactly? I don’t know because I’m not a fan and I thought he was a lousy choice so I never followed them until recently but, isn’t this gym his first foray back into the world of work since he went on the show? And IMO isn’t that a likely reason he didn’t leave like a lot of men would have, because however troublesome Kaitlyn was, she was easier and more fun than going back to everyday life and a real job? I mean with her moving to where he lived and buying a nice house for them and caring for him AND his dog he only had to cut and paste a few Healthy Meal Plans and smile for the camera, IMO. Most men have quite a bit more to do but, he IS a BN star and few of them are known for their strong work ethic. Well, maybe pee-tuh.
So now he could have just been tired and he’s entitled to be because I believe she was getting tiresome with her whining about here, take this ABC ring and propose to me again and her threats to get pregnant scared ME so, he must have been terrified and IMO after he opened his gym, he had a new job and thought he wouldn’t need to work Kaitlyn anymore. I think he will find that conclusion premature but still your point is a valid one, there are two sides so, I’ve picked one. All IMO

I'm also finding it hard to have too much sympathy with Shawn. Kaitlyn made it abundantly clear what she wanted and he didn't want or wasn't able to do it. He needs to just step back now and let her be happy and move on, imo. I wouldn't be shocked if he ends up falling for someone and getting married sometime sooner than later just because it seems to happen often after a breakup but not really thinking he will.

So sorry for Shawn's loss. RIP Tucker.




https://www.instagram.com/p/B_EENSIl0yq/

oh my gosh, that is so sad!! I'm so sad for Shawn. Loosing your best friend is heartbreaking. #RIP Tucker