Shawn Booth - Bachelorette 11 - Discussion

Suddenly I'm mildly invested in K&J

Sprite wrote:
As for bringing out the Nick card now, we always find out stuff after break ups. I think it was always there, they just downplayed it publicly because, well, what else is there to do? Privately, I think it was a different story. I don't doubt that his feelings are hurt that she moved on so quick. She always made it seem he was the love of her life and now IMO she is deliberately throwing Jason in his face. It's a bit of tit for tat on both their parts. Neither are blameless.

I'm not just talking about now. I'm talking about bringing it up to use against her at any point in their relationship after the show aired. If your SO does something, and you have chosen to forgive them & continue the relationship, you don't get to just pull it out to use every time you have an argument or whenever it's convenient for you. That's wrong IMO. Also Kaitlyn speaks quite in depth about how hard it was to move on in several of her podcasts, her friend Clio speaks about how she would have to literally pick Kaitlyn up off the floor, her podcast with Raven just came out where Raven gave her some wisdom about people being in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and how Kaitlyn tried to put Shawn in the lifetime box but that's not where he was meant to be. Through all of her openness about her hurt, she has not once said or even implied anything negative about Shawn. In fact, when Shawn was boozing it up in NYC that weekend and flying back to Nashville with that girl who was posting stories from his apartment at 3am, and people were critical, Kaitlyn defended him! She said he's single and allowed to do whatever he wants. It's sad that Shawn couldn't extend that same courtesy to her, but instead has chosen to make her happiness some kind of personal insult to him.

I could not understand her sudden scorn and total disdain for Nick, thank you Shawn for revealing that information.

Sprite wrote:

ReneeM wrote:

notarose wrote:I want to hear his perspective on their relationship. 

I don’t find it unusual for someone to not be able to fully trust after learning their partner has repeatedly had sex with someone else. Some people have the capacity to wipe the slate clean but some people just can’t. I wouldn’t be able to but understand that some are able. 

Not a Shawn fan; not a Kaitlyn fan. I just find the topic of how people build trust or what cannot be navigated interesting.

Here's the thing, Shawn chose to go on a show where the person he's dating is also dating other people. Shawn knew before he proposed, that she had slept with Nick, he chose to propose anyway. So he doesn't just get to pull out the 'she had sex with Nick' card almost 4 years later because his feelings are hurt that she dared to move on after he basically shoved her out of his life. Jmo.

@ReneeM When he proposed he was still enthralled. Despite the fact that she said she told him everything, I think it is one thing to have it explained to you verbally (and we don't know how she did it and how much she played down her own behaviour), and to actually see it playing out on national tv for everyone to see and then have to answer all kinds of uncomfortable questions in interviews. Yeah, he could deny watching all, but their own parts, but I never bought that. He knew it was out there and I could see it playing with his head.

As for bringing out the Nick card now, we always find out stuff after break ups. I think it was always there, they just downplayed it publicly because, well, what else is there to do? Privately, I think it was a different story. I don't doubt that his feelings are hurt that she moved on so quick. She always made it seem he was the love of her life and now IMO she is deliberately throwing Jason in his face. It's a bit of tit for tat on both their parts. Neither are blameless.

I like enthralled. 
IMO both Nick and Shawn were enthralled and that may have clouded their judgement. Human nature to overlook certain things while pursuing what the heart wants. 
In Nick’s case, he seems to have downplayed (in his mind) the fact that Kaitlyn never seemed to want to meet up prior to her being Bette. I think he learned from that as he often now says that if you’re really interested you have to stop texting sooner rather than later and meet face to face. 
In Shawn’s case, he may have not allowed himself to think Kaitlyn was continuing to have sex with Nick after the first time she told him... not wanting to ask after that point during filming. 
Both own their individual decisions and both may have learned what works better for them moving forward. Neither are now with Kaitlyn so the potential lesson learned isn’t so much about her as it is about how not to put your head in the sand. I’d love for Shawn to cohost on The Viall Files; not for it to be about Kaitlyn but because they both chose to quiet that little voice in their head - something we may have all done so it’s a relatable topic.

bluwavz wrote:I don't think he's some horrible guy but I do think it's crappy that he admitted the Nick situation was always in the back of his mind. For 3 1/2 years he felt that way? Wow. I can't believe I actually thought he got over it.

It makes sense though, because Kaitlyn was always so OTT in her hatred towards Nick and would even lie blantantly about liking Ben more than Nick and producers forcing her to take him to F2. To mantain that level of bitterness towards him for 3.5 years? It makes sense that he was an issue in her relationship and this was her attempt at proving to Shawn that Nick never mattered to her and it was all due to producers and the edit. And I think it went beyond just sleeping with someone else. It was the pre-filming relationship, the sneaking around with him during filming, the ILYs, asking him to come on the show, etc. And he probably didn't know everything, but probably knew enough not to ever fully trust her. 

Ashley did ask him, so it's not like he brought it up on his own. I can't really blame the guy for being honest, not when Kaitlyn has really been subtlety turning everyone against him for the past 6 months. I've seen her as the victim, but I realize that's not really fair since we've only ever heard one side of the story. 

IMO.

In the final analysis, I think Shawn and Kaitlyn will be better off without each other. Both need to make a clean break with everything in their past and start all over again. JMHO.

ReneeM wrote:

Sprite wrote:
As for bringing out the Nick card now, we always find out stuff after break ups. I think it was always there, they just downplayed it publicly because, well, what else is there to do? Privately, I think it was a different story. I don't doubt that his feelings are hurt that she moved on so quick. She always made it seem he was the love of her life and now IMO she is deliberately throwing Jason in his face. It's a bit of tit for tat on both their parts. Neither are blameless.

I'm not just talking about now. I'm talking about bringing it up to use against her at any point in their relationship after the show aired. If your SO does something, and you have chosen to forgive them & continue the relationship, you don't get to just pull it out to use every time you have an argument or whenever it's convenient for you. That's wrong IMO. Also Kaitlyn speaks quite in depth about how hard it was to move on in several of her podcasts, her friend Clio speaks about how she would have to literally pick Kaitlyn up off the floor, her podcast with Raven just came out where Raven gave her some wisdom about people being in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and how Kaitlyn tried to put Shawn in the lifetime box but that's not where he was meant to be. Through all of her openness about her hurt, she has not once said or even implied anything negative about Shawn. In fact, when Shawn was boozing it up in NYC that weekend and flying back to Nashville with that girl who was posting stories from his apartment at 3am, and people were critical, Kaitlyn defended him! She said he's single and allowed to do whatever he wants. It's sad that Shawn couldn't extend that same courtesy to her, but instead has chosen to make her happiness some kind of personal insult to him.

I don't know if he was throwing it in her face every time they had an agruement. Maybe he was and maybe he wasn't. If he was, then the onus is on her to dump his a**. If she chose to stay, then she has only herself to blame. I don't care either way, I wasn't a huge fan of either and never thought he would marry her and Nick was part of my reasoning. The rest was that she was just too high maintenance and eventually he would get sick of it.

Kaitlyn has been the one talking about the breakup any place that people will listen. I haven't heard much from Shawn, so I can't blame him for answering questions when he is asked.

Newto wrote:In the final analysis, I think Shawn and Kaitlyn will be better off without each other.  Both need to make a clean break with everything in their past and start all over again.  JMHO.

So who gets the house?

Kaitlyn already got the house.

Norcalgal wrote:

Newto wrote:In the final analysis, I think Shawn and Kaitlyn will be better off without each other.  Both need to make a clean break with everything in their past and start all over again.  JMHO.

So who gets the house?

Kaitlyn has it for now. I wouldn't be surprised at ALL if she eventually found somewhere else though. It has to weird for to be there.

umngirl wrote:Best move he can make is staying off Twitter and not reading comments on Instagram.

I also totally understand how he’s having a hard time watching an ex move on quickly. That’s a very real feeling many experience and it does suck.

I guess I just understand where he’s coming from while also understanding that Kaitlyn is doing what’s best for her by moving on. Basically I don’t think he’s some horrible guy that is completely heartless like I’ve seen him accused of being on social media.

Same. I knew he would eventually come out with his opinions and feelings. I feel for him. If he was seeing girls when he was in NYC that one weekend at least he was quiet about it and not plastering it all over social media. And I figured he never got over the Nick drama.

He misses her.