BACHELOR 23 - Colton Underwood - General Discussion - **NO SPOILERS** - *SLEUTHING*

Here's to virgins and virgin cocktails..... :shootme: :shootme: :shootme: :shootme:

More filler with the bachelor kids. At least this is cute.

Essie is apparently not there for the right reasons. Adorable.

Ryan and Trista. JP and Ashley. Jade and Tanner. Evan and Carly. Jason and Molly. Des and Chris. Arie and Lauren... Where are Sean and Cat???

More filler with the hot tub party and Goose and Kristal getting a puppy.

Limos to come. So basically they wasted all but 10 minutes with stupid filler.

So stupid...Kaityln fake reeling in Alexis. Flipping between viewing parties and some dumb azz proposes to his girlfriend. Yeah, we needed to see this. It's like he is auditioning for the show. I don't care that she said yes!!!

Lame.....
Btw what's the weather like in London Sprite? Freezing rain up here in Barrie

Finally we might some limos

Finally, one hour in and he is off in the limo, as are the ladies, but first M&G with CH. Ladies saying they wanted it to be Colton. As if they cared...

He is attempting to pour on the sincerity. Sorry not buying it.

As the ladies scream his name pulling in.

Demi is up first and we have our first virgin reference. He is in trouble he says....I don't think so.

Taisha...he says she is gorgeous but I don't feel it.

Heather...talks too much. Don't see it.

Nicole speaks in Spanish. Ahhh…

Caitlyn...Miss Alabama wants to be Miss Underwood...So she wants to be his sister. Dumb and annoying. He says she is gorgeous.

Sydney quit her job to meet him. Bet she goes home first night.

Elyse … zip.

Tahj...whatever.

Cassie...brings a gift. He looks off camera as she comes. She has a box full of fake butterflies which she drops on the ground. He picks one up and puts it in his pocket after she walks away. Hmmm... Was she the first video girl? I think he likes her. She is pretty and seems relatively normal so far.

Kirpa... In Croatian Kirpa means rag. I cannot take her seriously and I don't think he does either.

Caitlyn...pops his balloon cherry. Yeah, he seemed thrilled.

Courtney brings him a peach. Zilch. He would probably date the peach over her.

Katie...takes his V card. Zero.

The obligatory costume person...a sloth...really slow. Annoying.

happyharvick wrote:Lame.....
Btw what's the weather like in London Sprite? Freezing rain up here in Barrie

Same here. Thank goodness I have something exciting to keep me occupied...NOT.

This is so bad. So bad. He really doesn't seem to be into any of these women thus far.

couldnt really get a read on any if them they sped through them so quick. No one really interesting, I'll watch the rest tomorrow, or not....think this is going to be a lame duck season.

Who is this girl whose name I can't spell.

Nut girl...wins him over with food.

Another Hannah. Another pageant girl. How many is that? Who knows the other pageant girl. She didn't want it to be a competition. Sure...liar.

Tracy arrives in a cop car. She gives him handcuffs...so he can regurgitate the line someone wrote for him..."I better save these for the fantasy suite"...as if.

Angelique...with all her sparkles.  

Devin...he likes her dress. Fast.  

Nicole is doing a ton of ITM..

Some girl speaking Mandarin telling him he is a stud muffin and then another girl speaking in Croatian...which I understood and they did do a correct translation. All the different languages are freaking him out. Too hard on the old brain. Didn't work it hard enough.

Alex from Canada is sick and had to do cue cards. He wished he could talk to her.

Bri from Australia...whoops. She lied in order to stand out. Yeah that will take her far.

Laura from Dallas...has the same dress as some other girl. They bond with each other more than with Colton.

Geeze another Hannah comes bringing gifts...an empty box because she bought him his favourite underwear.

Annie and Colton discuss football. Friend zone.

Jane with a picture of his dogs. He doesn't care.

The girls are worried about who will steal him away first.

Catherine comes with her dog and passes her over to him. The dog is even less thrilled than I am watching this cr*p.

CH comes over to take care of the dog. Girls bonding over their own dogs.

Horse and carriage...I hope this is it. Erin is looking for her prince Charming. Bet it isn't Colton.

Girls starting to get a bit weepy already. Idiots.

Who cares what JoJo and particularly Kaityln think?

CH apparently trying to make everyone think Bri was the most shocking entrance with her fake accent so they bring in Courtney and Lily from Aussie and Winter Games to judge. More stupidity.

Becca and Garrett are at the party with Jared and Ashley at the bar where they had their first dance and where she started falling for him.

Oh, my...not another proposal??? Asking his pregnant girlfriend. Please make them stop!!!

Are they throwing in all the proposals tonight because there isn't one with Colton???....

All these girls raving about how good looking Colton is...Why?

Chat with CH about the FIR and CH throws him to the wolves.

The fake squealing. My poor ears. And his dumb speech about him falling for Becca. So awkward.

OK. Maybe it is just me but his forehead is driving me crazy. It's like there is something darker in the middle of his forehead because he got a bad tan.

Demi pouring on the southern charm and telling him he finds her attractive.

Erica next...she asks him if he remembers her name...no...unlike Demi, whose name he remembered. Then wants to know why he is still a virgin because she is in lust. I bet he isn't.

The rag is next.

Laura...I don't remember her. I don't think he does either.

Some other blonde girl. I think he likes her. I can't remember her name...oh it's one of the Hannah's.

Girls wondering if he has kissed anyone tonight. I'm sure there will be a competition for that. My money is on Demi.

Pageant girl is next. Bonding over being dumped in Thailand and of course he moves in for the kiss and the soaring music. She is impressed. I bet that will be revised in years to come.

CH drops off the FIR and the drama soars.

Cheerleaders in Dallas. Help me.

Quartet in the driveway and the now unemployed dancer is teaching Colton how to dance. He truly is a terrible dancer. Please don't invite him to DWTS.

Some girl watched last season with Garret and Becca fishing and decides to recycle that.

Tysha land...riding Colton like a pony.

The sloth is in the tree. Just stop with the long drawn out speech. I think she is annoying him as much as she is me. She is now getting him to undress her...Alex from Boston. She loves everything. I don't love her.

Cattiness factor is ramped up in the mansion while CH is walking the dog of the woman who gave him hers. Her giant...no doubt fake...lips are distracting me. She gets interrupted and she comes back and interrupts the interruptee who is colouring sneakers with him??? Fake, stupid drama. I bet if he had his way, they would both be gone.

So Catherine is already, enemy number one. Another girl interrupts them with a snorkel and she comes back and interrups another girl. I hate her already. She looks drunk. She is pulled aside by some other woman to tell her she is pissing off the others and she should respect them. She is the least argumentative person as she continues to argue. The other one is keeping it real. Sure...she's been watching too much Rachael.

And guess who is back to interrupt yet another woman??? Yeah, she really listened. Colton sounds pissed and yet I bet he will be made to keep her.

CH is loving the drama and hoping she doesn't come and interrupt him.